“Wardancers "Against all Decency"
Moves were afoot to reclassify Wardancers as a biological weapon last night after the Newsfight team were humiliated by them for a second time. Despite being in position to score on numerous occasions, the jacket-wearing anchormen and women were unable to secure a touchdown, with many privately blaming Sophie Roarwrath.

"It was all Sophie's fault", revealed an anonymous source, "and if that's not the truth then my name's not Beater Sissons"

Preliminary strikes were launched with newsbeaters Warkriminal and Alagiaaargh taking out elves who looked a bit like wardancers but ultimately, were not. They refused to apologise. An arms race is in the offing in the aftermath of the tactical defeat, with Warkriminal upgrading her tackle capabilities, and a security guard being hired to keep Sissons away from the fridge.

"Oi!", revealed an anonymous, tubby source. Well he'd know all about sauces.

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