“A timeless classic: Humans vs. Orcs

In the opening human drive they managed to secure the ball in the hands of their thrower, Jimmy Boathand, put five(5) players in the orc backfield(none of these being in a tackle zone), and not only knock over black orc blocker Wuzza Ugh, but follow that up with a foul(curse you, Keith Lineback!), removing him entirely from the game. Not the best way to begin a game. Thankfully, there was only one way to go from here. Of course, two turns later, after a botched long bomb, which scattered, and then ended up being caught by the blitzer the pass was intended for, mere inches from the goal line, I begun to understand that apparently my opponent had never heard that old adage. An attempt was made to stop the blitzer, but the next turn the humans were celebrating their touchdown. To make matters worse, the apothocary had all ready been called in to patch up Marlack Throttlepuke, who had suffered a devastating hit by lineman Davie Drinkwaters, and that catcher who had been knocked unconscious a few turns before was on his feet, looking forward to getting back to the game. That's what I get for forgetting the best weapon human teams have: their ability to adapt. Thankfully, some sound orcish advice came to mind: "When in doubt, hit the pink, fleshy creatures." So, that's what we were going to do.

With the kick off dropped just over the line of scrimmage, the orcs had to move fast, swinging towards the sideline, attempting to clear any humans from their path. The humans must not have gotten the same game plan, because we meet a wall of defenders the very next turn. So, we adapt to the adaptable, and quickly swung back to knock a hole through the now slightly less crowded middle of the field. In the fray which occurred as Marlack Throttlepuke made his way towards the endzone, human team captain Boris Nightmare was killed by a vicious block thrown by none other that that unholy beast, blitzer Rizggy Elf-Crusher. Thankfully, the wandering apothecary they had purchased for the game managed to save the life of Boris, so that he may live to play another day. After the touchdown was celebrated, a few more pushes and shoves to conclude the first half, with the game tied up at 1 a piece, with the orcs set to receive the kick off, next half.

A riot erupted at the start of the second half, which must have rattled the humans badly enough for they to kick the ball short for a touchback. So, with only seven turns to win this game, that's just what the orcs set out to do. With the ball once again in the hands of Throttlepuke, the blitzer begun a reckless attempt the bash his way through the center line, by himself. He quickly found himself on the receiving end of a blitz, dropping the ball, which be luck, just happened to be caught by black orc Thrish the Dimwitted. Even more cheers ran through the crowd as a lineman was badly hurt in an attempt to pry the ball out of Thrish's possession. Unaccustomed to having anything in his hands, Thrish quickly handed the ball off to his little, goblin pal, Sp'lunquk, and went back to doing what he does best, and that's smashing. A quick blitz later and the ball was once again loose, and in danger of the humans gaining control, that is, until Rizggy let out his bestial roar, and proceeded to blitz the poor human thrower guarding the ball, killing him in the process(RIP, Jimmy Boathand), snatching up the ball, and heading towards the now unprotected endzone. After that, all that could be done was a few more blocks to be thrown, but the orcs came away with the late touchdown which secured them the game.

My deepest respect goes out to coach murgabot and his team, who played valiantly, and even made me look foolish, early in the first half. It was a great game, and I look forward to seeing where evenyone finishes in this 145 Rookie League.”