“Ogres? Hmm. There's something fishy about stunties running across each other in a tournament, no doubt Bribery and Corruption are involved. Goblins are "expected" to win, so there's bound to be problems to upset the bookies. Sunny day, not one for passing, shame.

Extortion was used first up, their ball, our rules, Tots ruined immediately. Dirty Pool dragged one down next, Secrecy taking a dive to give them some space, and they took Extortion out of the picture by foul methods, with AOtP stalling for time ahead of schedule, classic numbers game. Corruption gave Ogre and Out the day off, humour amongst the giants.

Their foul play worked a treat, Nepotism gone, Bribery and Corruption tied up with nothing, and a great dodging Ogre fleeting over the line. Perfect defence against our two-turn, Hush Money taking the dive and then going off and nothing heard of why, and with Kickbacks removed it was all weapons go for the second half.

Dirty Pool took the biggest dive you'll ever see, Weenie collecting their rare and obviously valuable -6d cas before the ball could be moved, Anarchy immediately dealt to in Ogrebearing fashion. Nothing doing, Bribery was used to put Thieving in to even things up, bribes assuring us of more Intimidation to come.

Anarchy unleashed, but they weren't amused a second time. Intimidation of no use against Ogres, no fear at all. Bribery wrecked a Teeny snot, Secrecy taken from us in vengeance, their carrier continuing his clever stalls. Once they got going, Graft took a dive and that was all she wrote.

We might have got the tie, but Bribery was confused and tried to eat Thieving, who barely managed to wriggle free. Obviously more money on the unexpected loss, not that I was in on it, it's the Ogres with more cash just for beating us! Still maximum winnings for a "losing" team, there's clearly something strange going on.

Unless, well, it could all be down to the typical random nature of a sportsball event, praise Nuffle, and ignore this giant pile of cash we got for not throwing it!”