“Panic gripped the Bad Lads dug-out as the sight of 850,000 GCs worth of inducement crowbarred its way into the tiny brains of the coaching staff. Flashbacks to some of their days as stuntmen on the Lords of the Rings movies occurred at the sight of all the treemen, halflings and wizards mustering for their opponents.

That said, the team discipline drilled into them (God knows by who) never quite deserted the boys, while many hours looking at the pictures in 'Tackling for Dummies' also proved to have been time well spent as the mobility of the shire-runts was greatly reduced. Add to this an off-form performance by the Pies star Baconbreath and the Bad Lads managed to sneak a touchdown late in the first half. The second half was a bit more of a scramble with the halflings still having a few tricks up their sleeves, but they couldn't quite force the equaliser. The Pies coach's dream of a no-loss season was in tatters, and the generally squishy nature of the opposition meant the Bad Lads' kill/maim stats were looking pretty healthy too.

A fun game, but the Halflings were unlucky not to at least force a draw. ”