“Freshmen Hit Hard in Season Opener

In their first match in the newly resurrected football programme at Übersreik, the Aethons dished out a fresh serving of hurt against a daunting opponent.

Hosted on the stone pitch in the Grey Mountains, the game started as the Aethons had hoped. 'Bash' hurt Scott, before Likely knocked out Moizoos, and then Travis Jones blitzed 'Finchy' to cross the line and score.

The wet conditions made it awkward to complete any passes and CeeCee Shumway couldn't make D'Squarius Green's pass stick. The rebound slipped through 'Ozzy' Buckshank's gloves like a bar of soap. 'Jack' did dislocate Jamal Lewis' shoulder and Green injured Trent Dilfer before the buzzer.

Buckshank's bad luck continued as he was sacked by Steve Smith just after the restart. But Captain 'Bash' Bashington made the difference in what would prove to be a vital phase of play. At first, 'Bash' injured Jones and then they cracked Qadry Ismail's skull. Their solid protective play enabled 'Jack' Tacktheratrix to saunter over the line with a playful wave to the crowd.

The Freaks closed the game with a solid block from Likely on Shumway and there was a slim chance that the visitors might have scored the winner but the soggy conditions resulted in a slippery surface, which put paid to any hopes of a late victory.”