“Good evening, Blood Bowl fans and welcome to another Mordheim Legion Broadcast. I am Merlin Oldsoul and I am accompanied in the booth once again by “Super” Alley McCoist. We are approaching the end of the regular season, and the penultimate game will feature the Legion traveling to Broekwater to play the Bruisers. Both teams have sewn up a place in the playoffs, but this match will help determine seeding and the ownership of the divisional crowns.

*Cough* I expect a rather boring match to tell you the truth. Both teams would be wise to shelter in place and hold on for the playoffs. It would suck to get one of your stars injured or dead at this point of the season.*

Well, the home team won the ceremonial coin toss and chose to receive the ball to start the match. That is probably a good choice. Score early and score often. It is a good way to win over the elven contingent of fans.

And that is a good way to start a match. The Wart, Chris Worley is immediately removed from the game with a good hit on the line of scrimmage. Knuckles immediately returns the favor with emphasis by severely injuring Jan Leiner with a brutal boot to the knee. She will be a step slower I’d reckon from here on out.

There goes the rookie Sapolu with a hard block from the ogress Kendall Reyes. Ain’t she a beauty? The rumor is that she would have been traded to the Gunners in the offseason except for the obvious conflict of interest. Yeah, Coach BenAwesome has a well known Ogress fetish and addiction. There is no way he would have survived a week if that trade had happened. Either she would have torn his arms off to rebuff his advances, or she would have found him accepted him and he would have died a happy man. Either way the DLE decided to protect one of the fan’s favorite coaches in the league.

Montgomery has the ball. She will be tough to catch. She moves South behind a quality screen. McFamous escorts Vedder from the field. Knuckles knows that Thompson has been niggled up a time or two but his well assisted foul can only send her to sit next to Vedder until the next kick off. Now Montgomery turns the corner with a procession in front of her leaving the Legion and many of her teammates to brawl behind her.

Another good foul by Knuckles sends Barkley to the bench for a rest. The Bruisers are down to 6 players on the field but the ball is well protected. The legion will have to be content with kicking the Bruisers who were left behind. Walters decided the best defense is to hurt the guy who has been hurting you. She hurts Knuckles badly enough that we won’t see him any more today. We will see if the Razor can pick up the slack after the next kick off.

Oh no…! I hope I did not see what I think I saw. O’Daniel and Balage distracted Kendal Reyes just enough that Seamus McFamous hit her while her head was turned. He grabbed the giant by the facemask and did a leaping 360. Normally the helmet would come off but it seems her head was solidly latched into it. I really think I heard her neck break. The crowd is silent. Montgomery has anxiously stopped near the endzone waiting for word.

Yep. It is official. Kendal Reyes is Dead, Dead, DEAD!. The crowd is chanting Kendal Reyes. The jumbo monitor at the end of the field has already been filled with a wanted poster of Seamus McFamous. I presume that poster will go next to the one on the entrance of Avonte Maddox who killed the Bruiser’s last star ogre with a Turn 16 foul two seasons ago. If the league office is smart they will schedule another meeting of these teams early next season. The crowd chant has changed to “We Want Pay Back!”

*Cough* You better take off your Legion Fanboy gear before you try to leave the booth Oldsack. I doubt you will survive the sprint to your chariot with this stadium full of Bruiser fans. Having said that I will begrudgingly admit that McFamous made a beautiful move to lay that ogress low. *Cough*

Action resumes with Legion finally moving to pressure the ball. Montgomery wisely decides not to be a target, dances away from Turner and scores easily. This should give Legion enough time to equalize the score before halftime. Artair takes the kickoff. Razor does his job and removes Zakarn from the field with his boot. He also removes Thompson. The ref thought he saw a foul there but in the end decided Razor was just saying hello.

Now there is a great defensive play Mason dodges out of tackle zones and blasts Avonte who goes down hard but manages to push the ball toward O’Daniel who picked it up. O’Daniel heads for the endzone only to trip over the goal line untouched. And that is how the half will end.

*Cough* Ha, Ha, ‘Snort’ Ha! O’Daniel’s a clown. Just like the rest of the Legion. Who paid him this week. Shocked he had the ball! Run O’Daniel! Hee, heee. ‘Snort’. Can I see that again? *Cough*

Ahh, can it McCoist. At least Legion will get the ball to start the second half and the Bruisers only have 10 healthy players to field. Crud! Look out! Here comes the Blitz!

*Cough* Great call Coach Arcayn! *Cough*

Gloth heads toward the ball. Thompson is back in and she knocks down Munoz. Mongomery is going for the ball too. The Wart managed to trip her and that injury looks bad. She is not moving either. Here comes the Apothecary. Good Apo! Montgomery will live but she is gone for the remainder of this match.

Artair manages to get the ball to Bullet. A foul from Bgh sends McFamous from the game. Bullet gets ahead of the host chasing him. Razor wanted to foul but decided to protect Bullet instead. It may be the smart choice but I don’t like it. Vedder hits 2 Gun Turner. Turner has been niggled up lately too. It looks like this injury is going to be serious. It may even be a career ender.

Bullet is feeling the pressure so he decides to score. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a ballgame.

The Bruisers only have 9 healthy players who can take the field but they have the ball. Another good foul by Bgh sends The Wart back to the bench. O’Daniel knocks out Thompson again leaving Razor with no one to foul. Razor looks lost and confused with no target in sight. He is clearly frustrated.

The Bruisers are surrounded. Can Legion break the ball free in time to score the winning point? Max hits Cole with a hay maker that certainly injured her. Gloth breaks away hoping to get a cheap point but Walters finds herself in a sea of hostility. Gloth is pursued by Razor but he clearly is not her type. Down goes Walters.

Kizer picks up the loose ball for Legion. Vedder makes a solo tackle to bring her down. Now O’Daniel picks up the free ball and heads for the Northern sideline. There is no one near him. Again he trips over his own feet this time stunning himself. Gloth tries to get the ball but trips over her own feet too. McFamous tries to pick it up to give it to Ballage but he also drops it.

With no one in range to score the game will end in a 1-1 draw here in Broekwater. What a match! Now please forgive me fans but I need to get out of here. The chant of “We Want Payback” has started again and I need to leave before I am recognized. Thanks for watching this Mordheim Legion Broadcast. Join us for the last game of the season when the Legion will play the rival Greenskins. Until then, I bid you farewell, and I recommend you stay out of Broekwater until things cool down.

Driver! Is my chariot ready…..

*Cough* Pathetic! *Cough*


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