“Heh, if I hadn't stalled I'd have a lot more dead or mangled players, once your RO got back in the game! ;)

The match began well for Die Warp Maus, the Extra Training handicap was relatively unimportant (useless in fact, given the Running Rodent's Luck...), and Shrieker, the team's Rat Ogre, ignored the niggling pain. A good thing, thought the Maus head coach, as I would have had to burn the apoth to keep him in the match in the face of the opposing Rat Ogre and RSC linerat.

However, Die Warp Maus lost the toss...and Shrieker was niggled by Roaratch on turn 1. Guess he was going to use up that apoth anyway with a niggling injury eh? Thankfully, the apoth worked. Or so Die Warp Maus' coaching staff thought. In hindsight, if it had failed it would have been a mercy.

The Maus managed to do little with their turn, and the Rodents score easily. No problem though, all part of the plan. However, Shrieker had other plans. Namely, losing the game for Die Warp Maus all by his lonesome. Well, mostly.

Next kickoff.. the fans chime in, Badly Hurting a Rodent linerat with a rock hurled from the stands. Good start the Maus thinks. Then Shrieker began his 'work'...

His blocks were epic failures (althogh Biter's Blitzes were invairably pushes ReRolled to more pushes, with the occasinal Skull/POW thrown in for good measure.). He thrice failed his WA roll in order to Blitz...an action meant more to get him into position more than acutally try and hit anyone vital. His first Blitz failure costs Die Warp Maus ball possession, but luckily Warp Maus had hired a wizard, who fired a ball of flame down on the tightly packed skaven...taking all 5 down, stunning 3 and sending one more linerat off the pitch for the game! Great! Just the momentum we need!

But then: Shrieker again refuses to budge, leaving the Maus line divided. Eventually the Rodents get back up and lumber over, with further failed Blitz by Shrieker and countless botched blocks allowing the Rodents to knock the ball free and lock it up in 3 tackle zones. But there is one hope left with time running out...Shrieker has passed his WA roll and will get to Blitz a storm vermin with 3 dice...hopefully pushing him onto the ball and knocking it free! He hits...PUSH PUSH PUSH...the ball scatters...onto Roaratch. Some say the big rat ogre winked as he shoved the ball directly into Shrieker's hands. Shrieker caught the ball, but was too far to even hope for making the dash across to the End Zone. Biter manages to salvage something from the play by knocking Roaratch unconcious. Half Over.

Second Half

Biter manages a paltry push again, but Shrieker Badly Hurts a third skaven linerat! Perhaps his hijinx are over! With Roaratch off the pitch in the KO box, and the Rodent's severely out numbered and understrength, Die Warp Maus goes into cage mode to try and take out some opposition, to be sure to prevent a pushing OTS in the last moments of the match. But Shrieker again decides he'd rather stay put and away from the action.

Biter pulls off an impressive stun, while Vaportrail is KO'ed in return, narrowing the numbers advantage. Die Warp Maus swings wide. Shrieker with the Blitz to help solidify the flank...(1). Again. 25% on his 2+ rolls tonight...and leaves Die Warp Maus badly exposed. Badly enough that Biter is Seriously Injured -MA when Xini Blitzes him.

Now things look very bad for the Maus...even numbers on the pitch, and their main hitter (well...theoretically their main hitter) out for the game - and the final should they make it somehow...

Shrieker manages to Blitz this time (too little too late) and sends Siaspaxitch to meet the fans, but he seems to have dumped him directly into a crowd of Rodent fans, who simply help him back into the reserves box.

A moment later, Xini strikes again, killing LineMaus Jurgen, and cementing Die Warp Maus's fate in one way or another. Between Shrieker's failures and Biters pathetic hitting the Maus are now outnumbered, and down three of the best players! Make that four, as Afterburner goes to join Vaportrail in the KO box. At this point, in desperation, Shrieker pounds Xini to the pitch (innefectually, of course) and LineMaus Hans frantically kicks him in the head, knocking Xini out.

Scamper tries to break free for a touchdown, but trips up sprinting for the goal line. The Rodents recover. Scamper tries valiantly to Blitz the Rodent ball carrier, but only manages to shove him backwards, and is quickly knocked down himself. But Rodent Storm Vermin Rexon is tripped up dodgeing, opening one last chance to score!

Thumper Blitzes a terrified Siuzstiatch, a rookie gutter runner with the ball in his paws for the first time! The small rat goes down, dropping the ball inches from the End Zone. Scamper gets up, dodges around, and runs for the ball, snatching at it as the clock runs down...

But as he looks over his shoulder for pursuit, he sees his best friend Jurgen dead, and his co-star Biter having his foot surgically re-attached in his own dugout. As he turns back forward he sees Xini and Roaratch gradually waking up in the Rodent's dugout, both spattered with Maus blood. Realizing that if he should score, his team would face another full half of beatings at their hands - with only the highly suspect Shrieker to protect them...both teams' head coaches' jaws drop open as he stops short and lets the ball fall from his grasp. The Rodents rush in and grab the ball for a last second touchdown, but their victory was already decided.

Immediately following the game, Shrieker was released from the team. Sources say that he will enjoy his retirement, as he received a endoresement large contract - from the Running Rodents themselves! Seems his lack of ability may have been cash and cheese motivated by a payoff just before game time...

***

Well, you win some, you lose some, and sometimes the dice decide you should lose and get humiliatingly trashed in the process. When your three main players fail you (Biter - failing to POW 75% of his blocks...many rerolled, Shrieker - failing everything pretty much, and Scamper, dropping the ball at the last second with a rerolled 1,1) there isn't much you can do but plot Nuffle's Torture and Death while writing up a match report and swearing off Blood Bowl...for like a day or two at least!

Good Game ( -ish) Saxo. May your Wizard avail you in the final as well as mine did here - or better even! Best of luck!* :)

*though technically I suppose I should hope you get yer arse whupped! Murderer! ;)










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