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This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
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Suffice to say my opponent got well and truly dice raped. Despite the luck readings, my opponent really got it bad this game.

Sure he got a lot of pows to give him 70% luck for most of the first half, but he also failed a lot of dodges when trying to get through, and also had one drive where all of his line of scrimmage blocks yielded nothing at all. My low luck reading was due to failing some non critical rolls, whereas most of the ones failed by my opponent were quite important rolls.

I got two early casualties, one being -1 AG the other -1 AV on straight through rolls (no armour or injury modifiers required) which was really unlucky as pmg ended up not using his apothecary at all.

A blitz didn't help either as I swooped on the ball.

My opponent ran out of rerolls in the second half and was unable to set up his one turn chain pushback TD when the Babes couldn't be bothered playing defence anymore (it was 5-1 with one turn to go heh, so most of my girls decided to have a chat in the backfield instead). The roll that was failed? A 2+ GFI to set up the first push into my endzone... of course another 1 for pmg.

It was well and truly a dice rape job today. The only consolation for my opponent was that the two injuries were not crippling (annoying but the players are still usable) and that he rolled a 6 for income to get 30K... enough for a wizard in the Fumbbl Cup!

Anyways, my opponent was a very good sport who did not whine about the bad luck nor the one sided-ness of the game, and I wish him a strong recovery and good luck in the Cup (unless he draws me of course heh).”