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KO! Magazine - "What the......just what"
The Great Gobbo - "Stop shoutin yer noisy uman, im tryin ter die ovva ere"
KO! - "That was one hell of a party. What time is it?"
GG - "free"
KO! - "In the morning?"
GG - "No, now shut yer face"
KO! - "Fine, i'm going to get a copy of the Grotty Little Newspaper, do you want anything from the shop?"
GG - "A Cornetto"
*growling noises from under Nigel's sack*
GG - "An sum krisps fer Nige"

20 minutes later sound of feet running

KO! - "Great Gobbo have you seen this in the paper?"
GG - "Wot, Iz Albion about ter split in two?"
KO! - "No the date!!"
GG - "Munday"
KO! - "And when is the final?"
GG - "Munday at five.......IT'Z ZOGGIN MUNDAY NOW??!!!!"
KO! - "Yes!"
GG - "But der party started on Fursday!"
KO! - "I know, and so does your neighbours garden by the way!"
GG - "Bluddy ell, were iz der ladz?"
KO! - "I don't know, I saw a couple up in a tree out the front"
GG - "Diz iz bad! Rite Nige you get yer sisters, I'll get der ladz and yooz get der teem wagun reddy"

10 minutes later and the teem wagon is loaded up with all the gear and is being pulled along at great speed by Nigel and her three sisters. At 16:59 the wagon pulls up at the stadium for the game.

GG - "Rite yew, yew an yew get me sum coffee an der rest of yerz sort yerselvez out"
Trash Redeye - "I puked in me elmet boss"
Rognak Sharptoof - "An me"
TR - "wot woz yooz doin wiv me elmet"
RS - "Nuffin.."
The Great Gobbo All Starz - "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
GG - "Pak it in yooz two I ent in der mood now get onter dat pitch an win dat spoon!"

17:00 - Kick Off
17:01 - The GreenBeerdz Gitz go 1-0 up
17:06 - Five of the All Starz are passed out
17:13 - The GreenBeerdz Gitz go 2-0 up
17:16 - An un-named member of the All Starz befouls himself, play is halted whilst a pooper scooper is located
17:24 - It's all over, the Great Gobbo's dream of winning the inaugural White Isles Plate Spoon is nearly in a worse state than the All Starz dugout, as the GreenBeerdz Gitz win 2-0.

KO! - "So then Great Gobbo, what went wrong?"
GG - "Well dere defence wuz gud, dey maintained possession well AND WE WERE ALL PISSED AZ PARROTTS!! WHAT DER YER FINK WENT WRONG YER MUPPET?!!"
KO! - "So what have you learned from the experience?"
GG - "Moral fortitude. NOT TER GET BLIND DRUNK BEFORE A GAME YOOZ MORON! I AZ AD ENUF WIV YER STOOPID QUESTIONS, DIZ INTERVIEW IZ OVVA!"
KO! - "So as the dust settles over the field of glory, and in a small patch shame, the Great Gobbo can leave the field with his head held relatively high, as he managed to coach his team to the final of the WIF Plate Spoon without winning a single game. A truly remarkable feat which should go down in the history of this beautiful game."

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