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Rite den, rememba wen I kalled out Grant85 fer sellin kountafit majik itemz? Well I az a new cheetin git fer yer. Iz name iz akaRenton an yer needz ter no bout im.

Terwardz der end o der furst alf, me troll frum Deff Frum Above, Grog Fizznekka, blitzes dis rooky zomby kalled Grenville Holman VII. SPLOOOSH! Dey needed a spunge ter get most of im off der pitch. Next fing I no eez az regenerated an iz fine! Diz ent rite I finkz so I yells ovva ter akaRenton an sez
"OI! Ow did ee regenerate frum splooosh?"
"Style an Panache" ee sez. Well we all no dat panache iz a style o fashul air grown abuv der top lip, but ow kud diz elp a zomby? I sent Nige onter der internetz an she diskovvered dat ee ent bin online in too monffz wich ee klaimz woz due ter der internetz. I fink ee woz reely workin on iz magikul fashul air, but ey oo life unfortunately went on.

SMASH! Grog diz time blokkz Normy Menzies VIII an badly urtz im. Nope dere ee iz in der dugout fully regenerated! Den wun o me ladz, Spitta Fire kikz dis zomby oo iz fakin injury on der floor an SNAP! Iz leg iz fractured an iz day iz dun. WRONG! Dere ee iz avvin a laff wiv Menzies in der dugout!! I triez ter tell der ref dat ee iz cheetin by wearin nekromantik fashul air on der pitch but ee tellz me ter zog off! Den, jus before alf time Grog's bruvva Skumble blitzes Cody Leung X an mekz a rite mess o im. Nope ee iz up an about sharin a alf time orange wiv iz matez.

I az ad enuf o dis so I tellz der ladz ter blokk dem zombyz in der face ter nokk dere magikul air off. Skumble goes afta Cody agen an WHAMMO! ter der mush an SMAKKO! ter der leg. Itz a fractured leg agen but diz time ee dunt regeneratez! Unfortunatly I spent so much time tryin ter keep dese barsterdz ded dat I furgot bout der ball an lozt 2-0.

So eedz me warnin, an if yew play akaRenton an iz Dirty Cranberries make sure ter blokk em in der mush an nokk dat nekromantik fashul air off, or spike iz drinkin water wiv Veet before der game!

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