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Scribbl 06 Finished
Issue 6, Autumn 2603
From the Journal of Grot Snotly
His room seemed normal - small, dusty, full of journalism and blood bowl memories. There was his signed jersey of the '66 New Sun Sentinels; his framed first article for his local rag "Da Read Dis"; piles of unsold Scribbls he was saving to sell in the future "when we've made it big". He sighed. It all seemed so pointless.
He got up. That didn't work so he sat back down again, looking around for something, direction or inspiration. He opened the window, revealing the building next door, pressed up against his window so close there wasn't space to squeeze a snotling.
He knew he had to get control of the Scribbl again. That much was certain. But how? The consequences were too severe if he didn't. It meant the end of blood bowl; no more /cheers or /boos lifting the multitude of fans from their everyday lives. He couldn't think. He thunk. He did what he did when he couldn't think - he turned on CabalVision.
'CabalVision's Funniest Videos' was on. He nearly turned it off, this show was either clips from decades ago or staged troll matches from the badlands just to generate views and 'clicks'. He couldn't remember if he was sitting or standing so he did.
The CabalVision glow became his world. He leaned closer and wept.
"And that's the penultimate entry on our list of most embrassing plays, the troll confusion of the Morgheim Gitz. I've never seen trolls unresponsive for the entire game before, not responding to any stimulus. Reminds me of my marriage. Anyway, moving onto number one on our list, check this out sports fans. The fixture is the Kul Brokenhoofs versus the Tor Elyr Pegasi."
(Grot twitched at the mention of elves, his fugue deepened).
The announcer continued: "the match took place in 2587 at the Pegasi home ground. The Brokenhoofs are kicking and have deployed a strong line of scrimmage, led by the infamous minotaur captain, Blacktoof"
The minotaur appeared to look directly into CabalVision at the mention of his name across the years, a look of pure evil on his face He licked his lips and smiled, revealing the black hole of his mouth.
"And here come the noble High Elves to set up thier offence. Now, watch number 4, Frederick Starsynne. This is his first match for the Pegasi, having been traded to them in the off season after some superb demonstratons of speed.
(Grot could barely keep his eyes open but he knew if he closed them they may not open again. He was deep and going deeper).
"A short kick from the Brokenhoofs, oh and as luck would have it it's caught by Starsynne, now watch this. Starsynne takes one look at the ugly face of Blacktoof and turns tail and runs, carrying the ball, directly over his own goal line. Some say he's still running to this day. Look, you can see his coach chasing after him, the spectators passing to let them through like, well, elves before a rampaging minotaur. Fortunatly a camera man was on hand to snap a few pictures of the fleeing Starsynne. Look at these..."
And the pictures flashed up on the screen, a distored elven face, fear wracked and running on instinct. Grot raised a chuckle, then an eyebrow, then his whole head.
"That face," he said aloud.
"What's that?" shouted his neighbour.
"Piss off Nigel, go back to watching your Anglers replays. That face, it can't be, can it?"
The commentator continued "and that's the last we'll ever see of young master Starsynne."
Grot smiled, "this is my ticket back boys. Hold onto your codpieces, Grot's coming home!"
Contributors: jdmickleburgh, Datom, Rbthma, Nabster, Neubau, Sweep1212, Calthor, Teppich
Cabalvision CrunchZone
A new feature for Scribbl as we were... lucky? to obtain a transcript of the Cabalvision CrunchZone Commentary for the Coven of the Mirrored Hall vs Lords of the Silent Death match. Load up your Cabalvision rewind and sync the commentary and take a trip to the dark side of the rainbow at the Infinity Pit of Clan Eshin.
Introducing your commentary team:
Joining the CabalVision Commentary crew comes a full belly from Pfungzig, Mootland: The halfling Quingin Tonec, former scout of the imperial army. After retiring with questionable honors as his infiltration tactics of enemy public houses weren't welcome with his superiors he's now out and about to talk smash, dash and potato mash!
Khor is an unaligned centuries-old chaos warrior, retired from Blood Bowl many years ago due to injury, now living a lewd life of fame and debauchery. At the peak of his career he was a super star draw, known for a combination of agile and brutal play. These days Khor just likes to live 'the good life', although his passion for the sport remains as unwavering as ever.
Introducing your commentary team:
Quingin Tonec
Joining the CabalVision Commentary crew comes a full belly from Pfungzig, Mootland: The halfling Quingin Tonec, former scout of the imperial army. After retiring with questionable honors as his infiltration tactics of enemy public houses weren't welcome with his superiors he's now out and about to talk smash, dash and potato mash!
Khor
Khor is an unaligned centuries-old chaos warrior, retired from Blood Bowl many years ago due to injury, now living a lewd life of fame and debauchery. At the peak of his career he was a super star draw, known for a combination of agile and brutal play. These days Khor just likes to live 'the good life', although his passion for the sport remains as unwavering as ever.
Quingin Tonec: "Welcome sportsfriends and blood lickers to CabalVision , this is your commentator Quingin Tonec from the impressive Infinity Pit! Today The Lords of the Silent Death welcome the Coven of the Mirrored Hall in their tunnel system. Although their tunnels are more of the huge cavern variety. The Mirrored Hall has taken temporary residency in one of the more spacious caverns but every rat I asked was that only an Ogre on warpstone would think that big mirror cabinet could actually fit in there."
"The Lords of the Silent Death sustained some heavy bruises in their last game against the Bigwood Tree Shmashaz. They are missing an assassin and gutter runner in Nightlord Nurgrin and Nightmaster Vasquee respectively. Also they are short their kicker with Grisnagar the Brave recovering from a pinched nerve."
Khor: "Why is it so atmospherically humid here in these tunnels? It is dripping and stinking."
"Yes, Khor here, too, but I'm not getting paid enough for jobs like these, where we have to get into these nasty places. This place is normally quite dry, but when I visit, they have to put the sprinklers on..."
Quingin Tonec: "Indeed Khor, from the marvelous sparkling ceiling - that isn't warpstone, I think - a constant dribble fills the pitch. I just hope those aren't the lavatories."
"But with three arms that doesn't keep the Tzaangor Gahr-Gahr from catching the kick right from the air."
"Do Galaad, the Herald gives Nightmaster Crittskik a ringing head and thus an outtime. The Coven solidifies their position centre pitch"
Khor: "Indeed, a tight and solid start for the Coven. But the stars have come out today for LSD. See that big Ogre there, that's Borg'th - and Skreet on the other side. Sure, they've both been slapped silly already and are on their backs, but they could be difference makers."
"The Coven move forward and to the side, not willing to waste any time!"
Quingin Tonec: "Might be they also want to get away from the rats on the lower end. Running rats don't bite!"
Khor: "Strategic repositioning by Gnawnagar, running to the back. With his tail between his legs, I think."
Quingin Tonec: "The LSD are giving them the upper flank and are awaiting their moment to strike. But without obstructing players I don't see how they can stop the Coven from scoring."
"Oh come on now! Ref, this is a bloody sport, don't be such a wuss. After one little boot to a ratstail Bokrug is sent to the bench."
Khor: "Well, I do spot a skaven seer there on the sidelines, perhaps - with that white muzzle? Oh, indeed, that's a lightning bolt!"
Quingin Tonec: "And now we know what that dripple was for! The Nighlords and masters knew their seer would be far more effective in a humid cave!"
Khor: "And with calculated precision, the Eshin masters strike, and look, just in the blink of an eye, they've got that ball in hands. The Coven will need to react to this very quickly, or LSD will run away with it as we have seen them do countless times!"
Quingin Tonec: "A lonely familiar isn't going to stop them in their tracks."
"But before the LSD can even move the ball into the opponent's half Nightlord Azhiskikk gets swarmed by players from the Coven."
"The big Changeling, today a bit out of its with, stands looming next to him."
Khor: "Perhaps the tentacles of Do Galaad would be helpful here, but no! They are pushed away from reach, and there the Coven coach is swearing on the sidelines."
Quingin Tonec: "Grishnar the Brave goes hard on the Tzaangor Neron. He's on the brink of change for a second but the Coven's Apothecary has a good day."
Khor: "Revenge comes quickly, mind you, as Grishnar the Brave gets 'forgiven'."
Quingin Tonec: "That fractured leg is certainly a lesson earned."
"The second quarter of the game is dominated by wearing down the other team with blunt force."
"Here comes Vol'arath though wriggling through the LSD's splayed players and putting some pressure on the ball."
Khor: "Too late. LSD decides to run it in, and the squeeks here in the stadium are deafening. I guess they like what they are seeing?"
Quingin Tonec: "I've heard rumours of decreasing numbers of assassinations directly following LSD wins, so it might just be the rats feel safe again."
Khor: 'I thought it was an increase after wins, citing the very same reason of safety?"
Quingin Tonec: "Well, to be precise, it was a decrease of unlicensed assassinations, not the grand total."
"There are still two turns of the clock to be played of the first half. The ball is kicked short, this might give the Lords an edge. Best secure it quick else it's gonna be rat claws all over that ball in a split second."
"Neron rushes up the lower half. The only receiver in range almost stumbles reaching for that extra yard but holds out barely."
Khor: "Secure? Hah, security is an illusion when you're dealing with those pests! But this seems solid... for the moment."
Quingin Tonec: "This dream is quickly cut short by a blitz from Sneekis the Dragon. Neron goes to the floor."
"And gets the boot from Edward Clumsysnake! Not so sleek though, the ref constitutes another example for his lame decision making."
Khor: "But this ref is a rat, so, you know, no consequences here..."
Quingin Tonec: "Off the whistle goes again!"
Khor: "Nasty injury to Skreet, his personal medic will have to take care of that one!"
Quingin Tonec: "That amounts to six players out for the Lords now. They are going to get outnumbered in the second half as well."
Khor: "But what does it matter, when you can do things like that? Explain our listeners what happened there, because I can scarcely believe it..."
Quingin Tonec: "But it might not matter! Even with so many rats down they manage to get a hold of the ball, toss it to Nightmaster Skirshakk and off he goes for the TOUCHDOOOOWN! 0-2 Lords!"
"I've got to admit I couldn't quite make out what happened in the LSD half of the pitch there, I just saw slippery rats whooshing about and then coming out with the ball!"
Khor: "Half-time. Look at that, the Silent Orchestra is playing over there in the corner to the fans!"
Quingin Tonec: "Always nice to, ehm, hear them."
Khor: "I believe the rats can hear them. Higher pitch, or something. I'm sure it's nice to hear. I guess."
Quingin Tonec: "It would be much nicer if the fans would squeek silently too."
Khor: "Looks like the sprinklers are off now. They served their purpose, after all... It will be dry now soon!"
Quingin Tonec: "The Tzeentch team kicks the ball and the rats are off to the races again. It lands rather far in rat territory and thus will be kept out of reach of those many arms reaching for it for a while. The LSD are contending for some ground on the upper flank but where the play is gonna go next is everybody's guess."
Khor: "Well, they only need a tiny hole to squeeze through, especially those Nightmasters."
Quingin Tonec: "They go for the score, the ball is brought up, a quick pass and off goes Skirshakk."
Khor: "Case in point, Nightmaster Skirshakk, he runs right through! But, what happens there, is that a trip wire?"
"Ah, Tzeentch, well played..."
Quingin Tonec: "Skirshakk leaves the pitch, as does Azhiskikk a little while later. They might not look like much but those familiars pack a punch once you're on eyelevel with them."
Khor: "Do Galaad looking to keep Gnawnagar in range of his tentacles, wise move."
Quingin Tonec: "Now it's Tzeentch moving the ball for a change. A handoff to Nyeradh by Vol'arth followed by a pass to the familiar Hagar-Ryon. The little lotleg is off and out of reach of even the fastest rat."
Khor: "Perhaps there is still hope for a comeback!"
Quingin Tonec: "Maybe this is where the dwindling numbers of the Lords come to hurt them after all."
Khor: "The familiar looks around for a moment with that eye-stalk, and then gently runs it in. Well done, little... thingy...!"
Quingin Tonec: "Wary of quick scoring attempts the Coven of the Mirrored Hall hang back their defense a couple of yards. This will make it hard for them to turn the game into a tie though."
Khor: "Could be too defensive, considering the situation. The rats sense weakness, and there's blood on the pitch!"
Quingin Tonec: "The last quarter on the clock has begun as Gahr-Gahr the Tzangoor goes out with broken ribs. Let's all hope for him they won't grow back the way they were."
Khor: "Do Galaad feels inspired and returns the rib favour to a rat."
Quingin Tonec: "That was Thanaz the Darkflame beneath his fist if I recall that squeek correctly."
"The little familar Hagar-Ryon is back at it again!"
Khor: "Indeed - what a marvelous flight arc that was!"
"Gnawnagar wants nothing of it, and puts the familiar down for a little rest."
Quingin Tonec: "With Nightmaster Gnawnagar it seems to have met its match indeed."
"The Coven don't have much time left to score and the fast Nightmaster is one of the hardest players to pin down playing in the league right now."
Khor: "All he needs to do, is keep the ball away from the hands of the Coven, and with the clock winding down, he doesn't even need to do it for very long... Although he's practically on his own at this point!"
Quingin Tonec: "A daring play! Gnawnagar sprints to the middle line and punts the ball downfield out of reach of nearlt all the Coven's players but the Changeling Bael, the Harbinger, who doesn't appear to be in a passing mood today."
"If the menace from the Mirrored Hall want to tie this match their best option is a long bomb by Nyeradh."
"But even then a Gnawnagar could intercept. It doesn't come this far though, Nyerahd flunks the pickup."
Khor: "There's still time. Not a lot, but there's time."
Quingin Tonec: "Gnawnagar wants to interfere with the ballhandling but goes down. Nyerahd rushes forward picking up the ball running in these last few seconds of the game. He comes to a halt transfering the speed into the throw ... but too much! He overshoots the intended receiver, the ball scatters to the ground and GAME, the ref whistles twice. It remains at a 1-2 for the Lords of the Silent Death here in their home stadium the Infinity pit."
Khor: "Indeed, the rats do what the rats do best, and scurry away laughing and squeeking."
Quingin Tonec: "This win will do wonders for the Eshin economy."
Khor: "Now time to get out of here, the Silent Chorus is beginning again..."
Quingin Tonec: "With you on that one Khor. Let's see if we can find an afterparty less murderous than last time."
Khor: "Well, have you ever seen a Khalite belly-dancing for you..?"
Quingin Tonec: "Matter of fact, I have not. I'm game as long as there are no knives around."
Khor: "Let me take you to a place called the Bhubaneswar Belly Palace, my friend..."
Quingin Tonec: "Sounds right up my alley. Now that that's sorted let's close down this stream. We don't get payed for people watching us get smashfaced, yet. My name's Quingin Tonec, I like big bellies and I can not fly. This was CabalVision CrunchZone from the Infinity Pit of Clan Eshin, watch your throats and purses."
"The Lords of the Silent Death sustained some heavy bruises in their last game against the Bigwood Tree Shmashaz. They are missing an assassin and gutter runner in Nightlord Nurgrin and Nightmaster Vasquee respectively. Also they are short their kicker with Grisnagar the Brave recovering from a pinched nerve."
Khor: "Why is it so atmospherically humid here in these tunnels? It is dripping and stinking."
"Yes, Khor here, too, but I'm not getting paid enough for jobs like these, where we have to get into these nasty places. This place is normally quite dry, but when I visit, they have to put the sprinklers on..."
Quingin Tonec: "Indeed Khor, from the marvelous sparkling ceiling - that isn't warpstone, I think - a constant dribble fills the pitch. I just hope those aren't the lavatories."
"But with three arms that doesn't keep the Tzaangor Gahr-Gahr from catching the kick right from the air."
"Do Galaad, the Herald gives Nightmaster Crittskik a ringing head and thus an outtime. The Coven solidifies their position centre pitch"
Khor: "Indeed, a tight and solid start for the Coven. But the stars have come out today for LSD. See that big Ogre there, that's Borg'th - and Skreet on the other side. Sure, they've both been slapped silly already and are on their backs, but they could be difference makers."
"The Coven move forward and to the side, not willing to waste any time!"
Quingin Tonec: "Might be they also want to get away from the rats on the lower end. Running rats don't bite!"
Khor: "Strategic repositioning by Gnawnagar, running to the back. With his tail between his legs, I think."
Quingin Tonec: "The LSD are giving them the upper flank and are awaiting their moment to strike. But without obstructing players I don't see how they can stop the Coven from scoring."
"Oh come on now! Ref, this is a bloody sport, don't be such a wuss. After one little boot to a ratstail Bokrug is sent to the bench."
Khor: "Well, I do spot a skaven seer there on the sidelines, perhaps - with that white muzzle? Oh, indeed, that's a lightning bolt!"
Quingin Tonec: "And now we know what that dripple was for! The Nighlords and masters knew their seer would be far more effective in a humid cave!"
Khor: "And with calculated precision, the Eshin masters strike, and look, just in the blink of an eye, they've got that ball in hands. The Coven will need to react to this very quickly, or LSD will run away with it as we have seen them do countless times!"
Quingin Tonec: "A lonely familiar isn't going to stop them in their tracks."
"But before the LSD can even move the ball into the opponent's half Nightlord Azhiskikk gets swarmed by players from the Coven."
"The big Changeling, today a bit out of its with, stands looming next to him."
Khor: "Perhaps the tentacles of Do Galaad would be helpful here, but no! They are pushed away from reach, and there the Coven coach is swearing on the sidelines."
Quingin Tonec: "Grishnar the Brave goes hard on the Tzaangor Neron. He's on the brink of change for a second but the Coven's Apothecary has a good day."
Khor: "Revenge comes quickly, mind you, as Grishnar the Brave gets 'forgiven'."
Quingin Tonec: "That fractured leg is certainly a lesson earned."
"The second quarter of the game is dominated by wearing down the other team with blunt force."
"Here comes Vol'arath though wriggling through the LSD's splayed players and putting some pressure on the ball."
Khor: "Too late. LSD decides to run it in, and the squeeks here in the stadium are deafening. I guess they like what they are seeing?"
Quingin Tonec: "I've heard rumours of decreasing numbers of assassinations directly following LSD wins, so it might just be the rats feel safe again."
Khor: 'I thought it was an increase after wins, citing the very same reason of safety?"
Quingin Tonec: "Well, to be precise, it was a decrease of unlicensed assassinations, not the grand total."
"There are still two turns of the clock to be played of the first half. The ball is kicked short, this might give the Lords an edge. Best secure it quick else it's gonna be rat claws all over that ball in a split second."
"Neron rushes up the lower half. The only receiver in range almost stumbles reaching for that extra yard but holds out barely."
Khor: "Secure? Hah, security is an illusion when you're dealing with those pests! But this seems solid... for the moment."
Quingin Tonec: "This dream is quickly cut short by a blitz from Sneekis the Dragon. Neron goes to the floor."
"And gets the boot from Edward Clumsysnake! Not so sleek though, the ref constitutes another example for his lame decision making."
Khor: "But this ref is a rat, so, you know, no consequences here..."
Quingin Tonec: "Off the whistle goes again!"
Khor: "Nasty injury to Skreet, his personal medic will have to take care of that one!"
Quingin Tonec: "That amounts to six players out for the Lords now. They are going to get outnumbered in the second half as well."
Khor: "But what does it matter, when you can do things like that? Explain our listeners what happened there, because I can scarcely believe it..."
Quingin Tonec: "But it might not matter! Even with so many rats down they manage to get a hold of the ball, toss it to Nightmaster Skirshakk and off he goes for the TOUCHDOOOOWN! 0-2 Lords!"
"I've got to admit I couldn't quite make out what happened in the LSD half of the pitch there, I just saw slippery rats whooshing about and then coming out with the ball!"
Khor: "Half-time. Look at that, the Silent Orchestra is playing over there in the corner to the fans!"
Quingin Tonec: "Always nice to, ehm, hear them."
Khor: "I believe the rats can hear them. Higher pitch, or something. I'm sure it's nice to hear. I guess."
Quingin Tonec: "It would be much nicer if the fans would squeek silently too."
Khor: "Looks like the sprinklers are off now. They served their purpose, after all... It will be dry now soon!"
Quingin Tonec: "The Tzeentch team kicks the ball and the rats are off to the races again. It lands rather far in rat territory and thus will be kept out of reach of those many arms reaching for it for a while. The LSD are contending for some ground on the upper flank but where the play is gonna go next is everybody's guess."
Khor: "Well, they only need a tiny hole to squeeze through, especially those Nightmasters."
Quingin Tonec: "They go for the score, the ball is brought up, a quick pass and off goes Skirshakk."
Khor: "Case in point, Nightmaster Skirshakk, he runs right through! But, what happens there, is that a trip wire?"
"Ah, Tzeentch, well played..."
Quingin Tonec: "Skirshakk leaves the pitch, as does Azhiskikk a little while later. They might not look like much but those familiars pack a punch once you're on eyelevel with them."
Khor: "Do Galaad looking to keep Gnawnagar in range of his tentacles, wise move."
Quingin Tonec: "Now it's Tzeentch moving the ball for a change. A handoff to Nyeradh by Vol'arth followed by a pass to the familiar Hagar-Ryon. The little lotleg is off and out of reach of even the fastest rat."
Khor: "Perhaps there is still hope for a comeback!"
Quingin Tonec: "Maybe this is where the dwindling numbers of the Lords come to hurt them after all."
Khor: "The familiar looks around for a moment with that eye-stalk, and then gently runs it in. Well done, little... thingy...!"
Quingin Tonec: "Wary of quick scoring attempts the Coven of the Mirrored Hall hang back their defense a couple of yards. This will make it hard for them to turn the game into a tie though."
Khor: "Could be too defensive, considering the situation. The rats sense weakness, and there's blood on the pitch!"
Quingin Tonec: "The last quarter on the clock has begun as Gahr-Gahr the Tzangoor goes out with broken ribs. Let's all hope for him they won't grow back the way they were."
Khor: "Do Galaad feels inspired and returns the rib favour to a rat."
Quingin Tonec: "That was Thanaz the Darkflame beneath his fist if I recall that squeek correctly."
"The little familar Hagar-Ryon is back at it again!"
Khor: "Indeed - what a marvelous flight arc that was!"
"Gnawnagar wants nothing of it, and puts the familiar down for a little rest."
Quingin Tonec: "With Nightmaster Gnawnagar it seems to have met its match indeed."
"The Coven don't have much time left to score and the fast Nightmaster is one of the hardest players to pin down playing in the league right now."
Khor: "All he needs to do, is keep the ball away from the hands of the Coven, and with the clock winding down, he doesn't even need to do it for very long... Although he's practically on his own at this point!"
Quingin Tonec: "A daring play! Gnawnagar sprints to the middle line and punts the ball downfield out of reach of nearlt all the Coven's players but the Changeling Bael, the Harbinger, who doesn't appear to be in a passing mood today."
"If the menace from the Mirrored Hall want to tie this match their best option is a long bomb by Nyeradh."
"But even then a Gnawnagar could intercept. It doesn't come this far though, Nyerahd flunks the pickup."
Khor: "There's still time. Not a lot, but there's time."
Quingin Tonec: "Gnawnagar wants to interfere with the ballhandling but goes down. Nyerahd rushes forward picking up the ball running in these last few seconds of the game. He comes to a halt transfering the speed into the throw ... but too much! He overshoots the intended receiver, the ball scatters to the ground and GAME, the ref whistles twice. It remains at a 1-2 for the Lords of the Silent Death here in their home stadium the Infinity pit."
Khor: "Indeed, the rats do what the rats do best, and scurry away laughing and squeeking."
Quingin Tonec: "This win will do wonders for the Eshin economy."
Khor: "Now time to get out of here, the Silent Chorus is beginning again..."
Quingin Tonec: "With you on that one Khor. Let's see if we can find an afterparty less murderous than last time."
Khor: "Well, have you ever seen a Khalite belly-dancing for you..?"
Quingin Tonec: "Matter of fact, I have not. I'm game as long as there are no knives around."
Khor: "Let me take you to a place called the Bhubaneswar Belly Palace, my friend..."
Quingin Tonec: "Sounds right up my alley. Now that that's sorted let's close down this stream. We don't get payed for people watching us get smashfaced, yet. My name's Quingin Tonec, I like big bellies and I can not fly. This was CabalVision CrunchZone from the Infinity Pit of Clan Eshin, watch your throats and purses."
Shooting Star Watch
I can’t believe it’s not Troll’s Trousers!™, this is the Shooting Star Watch!
Sometimes when you choose to engage in a subject matter you find interesting, you get all the ups and downs that come with it intrinsically. On the one hand you might have a passion for marathon running, on the other you might sprain a muscle if you aren’t careful, or you might love gardening but may have to deal with dirty hands, uncooperative weather, and occasional Dryad problems.
On the one hand I really like engaging in giving you to straight to the point, accurate to the times on the latest and greatest stars to rise to prominence in the league. On the other that means that when a deadline for the first Autumn issue comes in a little later than normal and many, many stars appear over the course of the last 2 to 3 rounds it means I have a lot of writing to do that I have brought upon myself. Hurrah!
As from the last issue we like to jam in a vague connection theme as we go into to discuss a lot of these stars, and this issue the theme is ‘Ball versus Brawl’
[ed's note: normal text = abilities the player joined the team with; italic text = abilities learned in training camps; underlined text = uncommon abilities for that player position/increases in core fundamentals; bold text = the new ability that qualified them for this column]
Sometimes when you choose to engage in a subject matter you find interesting, you get all the ups and downs that come with it intrinsically. On the one hand you might have a passion for marathon running, on the other you might sprain a muscle if you aren’t careful, or you might love gardening but may have to deal with dirty hands, uncooperative weather, and occasional Dryad problems.
On the one hand I really like engaging in giving you to straight to the point, accurate to the times on the latest and greatest stars to rise to prominence in the league. On the other that means that when a deadline for the first Autumn issue comes in a little later than normal and many, many stars appear over the course of the last 2 to 3 rounds it means I have a lot of writing to do that I have brought upon myself. Hurrah!
As from the last issue we like to jam in a vague connection theme as we go into to discuss a lot of these stars, and this issue the theme is ‘Ball versus Brawl’
[ed's note: normal text = abilities the player joined the team with; italic text = abilities learned in training camps; underlined text = uncommon abilities for that player position/increases in core fundamentals; bold text = the new ability that qualified them for this column]
Emerging Star to Star
Darkvenom, Witch Elf, Clar Karond Black Widows
7347 - Frenzy, Dodge, Jump Up, Mighty Blow, Block, Side Step, Tackle
Amongst the assorted alumni of the meanest and the leanest that Naggarond and its surrounding territories have to offer, there is no player that will put the Raw into Brawl quite like a well honed Witch Elf killing machine. 37 Casualties amongst all players living and dead on the Clar Karond Black Widows side, and Darkvenom makes up 14 of those casualties by herself. This is the power of giving Mighty Blow on a Frenzied player in a regional division full of squishy, low armour targets. If the blocks don’t fly her way this rampage will not stop.
7347 - Frenzy, Dodge, Jump Up, Mighty Blow, Block, Side Step, Tackle
Amongst the assorted alumni of the meanest and the leanest that Naggarond and its surrounding territories have to offer, there is no player that will put the Raw into Brawl quite like a well honed Witch Elf killing machine. 37 Casualties amongst all players living and dead on the Clar Karond Black Widows side, and Darkvenom makes up 14 of those casualties by herself. This is the power of giving Mighty Blow on a Frenzied player in a regional division full of squishy, low armour targets. If the blocks don’t fly her way this rampage will not stop.
Shinesa, Handmaiden, Eye and Arrow
9348 - Block, Stand Firm, u]+MA, Dodge, Side Step, Diving Tackle
Elpida, Sister, Eye and Arrow
7347 - Pass, Catch, Wrestle, Tackle, Juggernaut, Dodge
And to follow on with the theme we have set, we have seen Raw in Brawl, Shinesa and Elpida on the other hand put their All into Ball. Out of all the other teams in the entire league, Eye and Arrow has been on the administrating end of more 4-0 games than any other team in the league at large. Shinesa and Elpida are the players that have been instrumental in this feat, as amongst the current members of the Eye and Arrow Shinesa has more TDs than every single living player combined in one speedy body, and Elpida is 2nd for the most completions thrown amongst a few other notches for TDs and Casualties under her belt.
9348 - Block, Stand Firm, u]+MA, Dodge, Side Step, Diving Tackle
Elpida, Sister, Eye and Arrow
7347 - Pass, Catch, Wrestle, Tackle, Juggernaut, Dodge
And to follow on with the theme we have set, we have seen Raw in Brawl, Shinesa and Elpida on the other hand put their All into Ball. Out of all the other teams in the entire league, Eye and Arrow has been on the administrating end of more 4-0 games than any other team in the league at large. Shinesa and Elpida are the players that have been instrumental in this feat, as amongst the current members of the Eye and Arrow Shinesa has more TDs than every single living player combined in one speedy body, and Elpida is 2nd for the most completions thrown amongst a few other notches for TDs and Casualties under her belt.
Ka Viku, Dervish, Ali’s Anarchists
7348 - Frenzy, Side Step, Block, +AG, Mighty Blow, Tackle
If you could make a wishlist of what sort of things a player of a human, or human equivalent team would want more than anything right at the top of that list would be “+ST on my Blitzer”, and right below that list might be “+AG on my Catcher/Thrower”. As it stands for Ka Viku the first Star Player of the Ali’s Anarchists, +AG on a Blitzer is a very acceptable compromise in the face of his performance as the team’s designated scorer. And he still has all the bits that make him a dangerous Blitzer the rest of the time that he isn’t holding the ball.
7348 - Frenzy, Side Step, Block, +AG, Mighty Blow, Tackle
If you could make a wishlist of what sort of things a player of a human, or human equivalent team would want more than anything right at the top of that list would be “+ST on my Blitzer”, and right below that list might be “+AG on my Catcher/Thrower”. As it stands for Ka Viku the first Star Player of the Ali’s Anarchists, +AG on a Blitzer is a very acceptable compromise in the face of his performance as the team’s designated scorer. And he still has all the bits that make him a dangerous Blitzer the rest of the time that he isn’t holding the ball.
Muk, Throw-Ra Slave, Everlasting Vulture’s of Settra
5327 - Sure Hands, Jump Up, Pass, Regeneration, Dodge, Block, Leader, Tackle
Normally a player that has the most TDs on the team is the one who will ascend to Stardom for that reason, after all that is one of the most common ways a player can attain SPP. Muk is not the player with the most TDs on the Vultures, the fact that he is -MA means that he wasn’t the best player for directly running the ball a lot of the time. However the player that was the player with the most TDs had a shocking accident, and so now Muk the MA5 Throw-Ra is the best scorer on the Vulture’s team by dint being the only one with a lot of TDs left alive.Good on ya Muk.
5327 - Sure Hands, Jump Up, Pass, Regeneration, Dodge, Block, Leader, Tackle
Normally a player that has the most TDs on the team is the one who will ascend to Stardom for that reason, after all that is one of the most common ways a player can attain SPP. Muk is not the player with the most TDs on the Vultures, the fact that he is -MA means that he wasn’t the best player for directly running the ball a lot of the time. However the player that was the player with the most TDs had a shocking accident, and so now Muk the MA5 Throw-Ra is the best scorer on the Vulture’s team by dint being the only one with a lot of TDs left alive.Good on ya Muk.
Sneekis the Dragon, Clan Rat, Lords of The Silent Death
5437 - +ST, Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow
It has often been said on many occasions, “What does it take to turn an expendable player, into an important centerpiece?” The answer a lot of the time is “+ST”. Here is a double -MA Linerat, a MA5 linerat on a team with MA7 and higher on average which in any other circumstances would have resulted in him being fired, or getting stuck on Line of Scrimmage duty until he dies. And then add the fact that not only is he the strongest player on the team, he’s the only one with any Mighty Blow whatsoever, on a team with a distinct lack of any normal S access and suddenly you don’t have a meatbag anymore, you have a player!
5437 - +ST, Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow
It has often been said on many occasions, “What does it take to turn an expendable player, into an important centerpiece?” The answer a lot of the time is “+ST”. Here is a double -MA Linerat, a MA5 linerat on a team with MA7 and higher on average which in any other circumstances would have resulted in him being fired, or getting stuck on Line of Scrimmage duty until he dies. And then add the fact that not only is he the strongest player on the team, he’s the only one with any Mighty Blow whatsoever, on a team with a distinct lack of any normal S access and suddenly you don’t have a meatbag anymore, you have a player!
Font Eriden, Renegade, Malignant Curators
6338 - Block, Tackle, Kick, Dauntless
When I first got to Font Eriden, my initial reaction was ‘what exactly am I supposed to say about this guy? He doesn’t have any special skills or stat ups, he doesn’t have the highest number of Casualties inflicted or Touchdowns scored on the team. His only accomplishment is that, he’s there and he keeps being there. And then that was it, he’s been there, he’s been there since the team was founded 32 games ago, and he has been there for every single game of the team’s bloody career so far. And when you have enough MVP awards land on you, it’s only a matter of time.
6338 - Block, Tackle, Kick, Dauntless
When I first got to Font Eriden, my initial reaction was ‘what exactly am I supposed to say about this guy? He doesn’t have any special skills or stat ups, he doesn’t have the highest number of Casualties inflicted or Touchdowns scored on the team. His only accomplishment is that, he’s there and he keeps being there. And then that was it, he’s been there, he’s been there since the team was founded 32 games ago, and he has been there for every single game of the team’s bloody career so far. And when you have enough MVP awards land on you, it’s only a matter of time.
Dro'ka'khanxlot, Kroxigor, Sport Spawning Zlatlan
6519 - Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Prehensile Tail, Bone-head, Juggernaut, Tackle, Break Tackle, Guard
Some players might become stars through amazing feats, but some just have to be good at their job enough times to get some notice. Drok’ka here has the most MVP awards on his team, at 7 SPP awards that accounts for his first three levels by themselves. And after that point the rest is a history of line work, occasional bone heads, and one very unlikely touchdown, the only one scored by a non-Skink player on the entire team.
6519 - Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Prehensile Tail, Bone-head, Juggernaut, Tackle, Break Tackle, Guard
Some players might become stars through amazing feats, but some just have to be good at their job enough times to get some notice. Drok’ka here has the most MVP awards on his team, at 7 SPP awards that accounts for his first three levels by themselves. And after that point the rest is a history of line work, occasional bone heads, and one very unlikely touchdown, the only one scored by a non-Skink player on the entire team.
Moving Shadows, Spider Rider, Shroomwood Attercorps
7438 - Shadowing, Tentacles, Dodge, Side Step, Guard, Juggernaut
At 13 games before hitting Stardom, Moving Shadows is quite easily one of the fastest ascending players in the entire league. A healthy diet of TDs at 11, the majority on it’s entire team, and a few sprinklings of MVP and Casualties plus one singular completed pass gives you a very problematic player for any speedy or bashy team to go up against.
7438 - Shadowing, Tentacles, Dodge, Side Step, Guard, Juggernaut
At 13 games before hitting Stardom, Moving Shadows is quite easily one of the fastest ascending players in the entire league. A healthy diet of TDs at 11, the majority on it’s entire team, and a few sprinklings of MVP and Casualties plus one singular completed pass gives you a very problematic player for any speedy or bashy team to go up against.
Ba'el, The Naked Slayer, Bloodletter, Unfettered Fury
6538 - Frenzy, Claw, Blood Lust, No Hands, Regeneration, +ST, Block, Mighty Blow, Pro
Generally if you took a look at the overall performance of both Daemons of Khorne teams in the modern day CIBBL and BIBBL leagues, there are two things that are apparent. One, they have trouble winning their games and two, they cleave through the enemy team like a chainsaw through a halfling. The first one is because the only players that can hold the ball are the only ones without Regen. The second is because the team fields freak beasts like Ba’el and his fellow Bloodletters, who make a continued mess of the other team when they hit the pitch.
6538 - Frenzy, Claw, Blood Lust, No Hands, Regeneration, +ST, Block, Mighty Blow, Pro
Generally if you took a look at the overall performance of both Daemons of Khorne teams in the modern day CIBBL and BIBBL leagues, there are two things that are apparent. One, they have trouble winning their games and two, they cleave through the enemy team like a chainsaw through a halfling. The first one is because the only players that can hold the ball are the only ones without Regen. The second is because the team fields freak beasts like Ba’el and his fellow Bloodletters, who make a continued mess of the other team when they hit the pitch.
Misstress of Pain, Slaanesh Warrior, Pleasure Strings
6438 - Claw, Very Long Legs, Block, Dodge, Side Step, Tackle
It’s been a long time coming for many players within the league, you play enough games and you’ll most likely get those MVPs falling on you eventually. Misstress of Pain is no different, many games of stalwart service coupled with not dying has put her onto the roster as an important, if not overly exciting player. Incidentally Tackle is the skill that has been taken the most by new stars on this list.
6438 - Claw, Very Long Legs, Block, Dodge, Side Step, Tackle
It’s been a long time coming for many players within the league, you play enough games and you’ll most likely get those MVPs falling on you eventually. Misstress of Pain is no different, many games of stalwart service coupled with not dying has put her onto the roster as an important, if not overly exciting player. Incidentally Tackle is the skill that has been taken the most by new stars on this list.
Rosetta “Rose Thorn”, Augur, Congregation of the Holy Touchdown
7347 - Sure Hands, Nerves Of Steel, Pro, Block, Dodge, Side Step, +AG
Remember that earlier statement I made about mostly ST3 AG3 teams really keen on getting stats on specific positionals to make them even stronger? Here is the team’s designated ball carrier of many a frequent engagements who has now been given the one stat she needed to make her job even /easier/. With an inbuilt reroll for most things she’ll need to do and the vaunted BlodgeSS combo, there is very little this worthy Sister of Sigmar cannot now accomplish. Except winning against Norse.
7347 - Sure Hands, Nerves Of Steel, Pro, Block, Dodge, Side Step, +AG
Remember that earlier statement I made about mostly ST3 AG3 teams really keen on getting stats on specific positionals to make them even stronger? Here is the team’s designated ball carrier of many a frequent engagements who has now been given the one stat she needed to make her job even /easier/. With an inbuilt reroll for most things she’ll need to do and the vaunted BlodgeSS combo, there is very little this worthy Sister of Sigmar cannot now accomplish. Except winning against Norse.
Zinzul the Plaguereaper, Plaguebearer, Nurgle Plaguebearers
Thick Skull, Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearance, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration, Block, Mighty Blow, +MA, Frenzy
Erdrund the Leproushand, Plaguebearer, Nurgle’s Plaguebearers
5529 - Thick Skull, Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearance, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration, +ST, Block, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm
What’s this a two for one deal? Why yes it is! Behold the two players with the highest number of casualties on a team that despite all the things that it has going against it, in terms of an incredibly slow, mostly MA5, mostly AG2, and mostly ST2 Linemen, is winning more of their games than losing them by a reasonable amount, (12/3/7 at the time of writing). So what’s the secret, one half of this is perhaps the coach at the helm who is incredibly good at his job. The other half is the selection of ST4 Plaguebearer’s it brings to bear against their opponents, and woe betide anyone who can’t evade them.
Thick Skull, Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearance, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration, Block, Mighty Blow, +MA, Frenzy
Erdrund the Leproushand, Plaguebearer, Nurgle’s Plaguebearers
5529 - Thick Skull, Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearance, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration, +ST, Block, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm
What’s this a two for one deal? Why yes it is! Behold the two players with the highest number of casualties on a team that despite all the things that it has going against it, in terms of an incredibly slow, mostly MA5, mostly AG2, and mostly ST2 Linemen, is winning more of their games than losing them by a reasonable amount, (12/3/7 at the time of writing). So what’s the secret, one half of this is perhaps the coach at the helm who is incredibly good at his job. The other half is the selection of ST4 Plaguebearer’s it brings to bear against their opponents, and woe betide anyone who can’t evade them.
Lirrikeet Sharpblade, Skaven Blitzer, Gobskrav Alliance
7338 - Animosity, Block, Mighty Blow, Claw, Horns, Tackle
Finally! It only took several games worth of being variously injured, knocked out, stepped on and generally not being allowed to stay on the pitch before Lirrikeet finally got that one last point he needed to cross the finish line into Stardom. How does he intend to celebrate? Why by continuing to play Blood Bowl of course, but he isn’t out of the woods yet he has already had a very close brush with death in his last match versus Rotfall Ironworks Rocketeers. Keep on keeping on Ratman.
7338 - Animosity, Block, Mighty Blow, Claw, Horns, Tackle
Finally! It only took several games worth of being variously injured, knocked out, stepped on and generally not being allowed to stay on the pitch before Lirrikeet finally got that one last point he needed to cross the finish line into Stardom. How does he intend to celebrate? Why by continuing to play Blood Bowl of course, but he isn’t out of the woods yet he has already had a very close brush with death in his last match versus Rotfall Ironworks Rocketeers. Keep on keeping on Ratman.
“Featherweight” Gunnar, Norse Runner, Vostok Iron Head
7337 - Block, Dauntless, Dodge, Side Step, Diving Tackle, Guard
Now I’m not one for blowing my own trumpet by any stretch of the imagination, but this player right here is a Star player. Ever since the first game of the team’s founding, and for every game onwards Gunnar has been the backline anchor and designated scorer for many a games, even with the newly arrived Xander taking up the helm. And on top of everything else he now has the most important and vital available to any Norse team that starts scraping at the High TV rankings, godspeed my man, may the Apothecary rolls be ever in your favour.
7337 - Block, Dauntless, Dodge, Side Step, Diving Tackle, Guard
Now I’m not one for blowing my own trumpet by any stretch of the imagination, but this player right here is a Star player. Ever since the first game of the team’s founding, and for every game onwards Gunnar has been the backline anchor and designated scorer for many a games, even with the newly arrived Xander taking up the helm. And on top of everything else he now has the most important and vital available to any Norse team that starts scraping at the High TV rankings, godspeed my man, may the Apothecary rolls be ever in your favour.
Sinthoras Bloodflame, Blitzer, Doom Glade Demons
7358 - Block, Mighty Blow, Dodge, Tackle, +AG
Whoda thunk it? The players that as of the writing of this article have the highest SPP of the Dark Elves of the Doom Glade, are all players with plus stats attached to them. I mean sure Sinthoras didn’t become an AG5 freak beast until after he leveled up, and sure the fact that he rolled Mighty Blow on a team without a lot of native strength skills access probably helped more than the stat he didn’t have yet (In fact there is a not inconsiderable amount of double skills and stats on this team as a whole). But the fact remains that this player at the very least in the first positional Star Player on the Doom Glade Demons, since the first actual star is one of the only Linemen Stars in the entire league. It’s hard to top ST4 AG5 but Sinthoras is going to make the attempt.
7358 - Block, Mighty Blow, Dodge, Tackle, +AG
Whoda thunk it? The players that as of the writing of this article have the highest SPP of the Dark Elves of the Doom Glade, are all players with plus stats attached to them. I mean sure Sinthoras didn’t become an AG5 freak beast until after he leveled up, and sure the fact that he rolled Mighty Blow on a team without a lot of native strength skills access probably helped more than the stat he didn’t have yet (In fact there is a not inconsiderable amount of double skills and stats on this team as a whole). But the fact remains that this player at the very least in the first positional Star Player on the Doom Glade Demons, since the first actual star is one of the only Linemen Stars in the entire league. It’s hard to top ST4 AG5 but Sinthoras is going to make the attempt.
Nolmgulg Prattlehead, Savage Blitzer, Bigwood Tree Shmashaz
7347 - Block, Frenzy, Thick Skull, Guard, +AG, Sure Hands, Stand Firm
A moment of applause for Nolmgulg Prattlehead, first ever Star Player of a team, that is almost notorious for its ability to implode violently on contact with other bashing teams. There is an entire teams worth of dead players in the Shmashaz grave pit, almost every single positional on the side has been replaced at least once. Nolmgulg and Persqka are the only two original players who have survived from the team’s founding, so if he wasn’t being celebrated here for breaking the big 51 barrier, then he would be here for that accomplishment by itself.
7347 - Block, Frenzy, Thick Skull, Guard, +AG, Sure Hands, Stand Firm
A moment of applause for Nolmgulg Prattlehead, first ever Star Player of a team, that is almost notorious for its ability to implode violently on contact with other bashing teams. There is an entire teams worth of dead players in the Shmashaz grave pit, almost every single positional on the side has been replaced at least once. Nolmgulg and Persqka are the only two original players who have survived from the team’s founding, so if he wasn’t being celebrated here for breaking the big 51 barrier, then he would be here for that accomplishment by itself.
Due to space restrictions, any players making the Star to Super Star transition are being saved for next issue. If you value our writer's sanity then deal with them before then.
Fallen Stars
Bloodbowl is an extremely hazardous sport with an incredibly high turnover rate of players, even amongst of the best of the best. Here is the short list of the stars that fell too early in the height of their prime so far.
Bloodbowl is an extremely hazardous sport with an incredibly high turnover rate of players, even amongst of the best of the best. Here is the short list of the stars that fell too early in the height of their prime so far.
Sethar, Catch-Ra, Everlasting Vultures of Settra
8237 - Catch, Dodge, Nerves Of Steel, Regeneration, Block, Dauntless, Tackle, +MA
60 SPP - Killed by a Lightning Bolt versus the Talsyn Tramplers, during Round 2 of the Gold Division Autumn 2603
8237 - Catch, Dodge, Nerves Of Steel, Regeneration, Block, Dauntless, Tackle, +MA
60 SPP - Killed by a Lightning Bolt versus the Talsyn Tramplers, during Round 2 of the Gold Division Autumn 2603
Defensive Setups
With Lulla
With Lulla
Dear readers of Scribbl,
my name is Luís Alonso Pérez, but everyone, and I say everyone knows me as Lulla, the greatest coach Estalia and the Old World has ever seen. I've been granted a long life and most of my achievements with the Santoyo Sanguebole Clube are far in the past, but I tell you my team would crush the teams you young people adore so much right now, like these obnoxious Anglers with their, in my eyes actually quite mediocre coach. My Santoyoásticos (fans back in the day were as imaginative as today) revolutionized Sanguebole and I will tell you about the Jogo Bonito we played from 2557 until 2569. From this issue on I will present you tactics, tricks and trivia. We start with one of the most important tactical decisions: the defensive setup.
Santoyo Regla de Cinco:
You see this setup a lot on the field nowadays and with good reason. Teams can protect their five best players and the middle is very solid. What most people don't know is that I actually invented it. The "Regla de Cinco" was utilized in most our matches to protect our "Balé Blanco", the five magicians with the ball: Gylmarian, a half elf with incredible agility, who intercepted every pass near him; Morko, an estalian boy raised by orcs that could throw the ball farther than anyone; Cultinho,a lightning fast diestro who could hit like a steam tank; Peppe, the strongest receptor the world has ever seen; and of course Pelle (who was as strong as an ogre and more agile than any elf). With players like these you dont want them to be blitzed in the first turn of your defense, so a setup that limits who can be hit is very valuable. It's best used when the oposing team has strong hitters and the defending team doesn't care about giving up deep positioning in their own half.
Santoyo Hondo:
The Hondo is a deep setup that prevents the opponents establishing themselves in your half. I remember this one game very well, it was the 2563 semi final against the Cythral Stags. The first half ended 1-1, we managed to score the touchdown for the lead late in the second half, however the wood elves still had three turns to score. They blitzed the deeper diestro, failed to knock him down and got surfed in return. Oh, the good old times. Anyway, this setup prevents a cage to be formed deep inside your half and can force risky maneuvers. But be careful, six of your deep players are exposed to a blitzing attacker and after the opponent decides for a side the defenders on the other side of the pitch have a long way back.
Santoyo Galones:
Ahh, 2557, the first year we won the grand championship. That was of course before CIBBL, Bloodweiser and all the other modern stuff you kids know nowadays. Heck, CabalVision was still in black and white, can you imagine? We had to be on a ship for three weeks until we reached Barak Varr, home of the Barak Varr Mariners and the location of the final game. The Mariners played well, but they didn't have a halfling's chance in a slaaneshi dungeon against us. The Galones setup is very useful against slow teams that need to score quickly. The sides are very well protected and while the middle seems open, it is actually very hard to get players through there. With Santoyo leading 2-0 in the second half the dwarfs were desperate to score quickly and set up on the far right side of the pitch to get numbers on the sideline. A short kick to the left, a "Blitz" by Cultinho and a run by Peppe lead to a quick 3-0. We won that final 4-0 in the end and established ourselves as the premier Sanguebole club in the Old World that day.
Santoyo Ultima Jugada:
Rats. You hate them now, we hated them back in the day. You can play your best game against them and they still somehow get a result against you. It was such a day in 2566 against the Mordheim Blitz in a simple qualification game. My team was quite old by then and the injuries over the years had reduced our quickness and durability somewhat, but we still managed to score the 3-2 in our last turn on offense. The rats had the ball and one turn to score. I hate rats. Most teams would set up a very deep line close to the touchline, but i wanted to be proactive and make the necessary pushes as hard as possible. My bloqueadors and the middle Guardavía had of course Guard, so the initial push was much harder, but it still worked out. All the others did too and that damn sidestepping rat pivoted and dodged over the sideline. We still won on overtime of course, but if we hadn't received the ball there ...
There are unlimited more possibilites to setup and these are just a few examples of what Santoyo's defensive setups looked like. Of course it depends on the players and skills a team has at their disposal, the situation of the game, and the opponent. I hope this tactical insight helps our readers to read the game better and to understand what happens on the pitch.
Until next time,
Lulla.
my name is Luís Alonso Pérez, but everyone, and I say everyone knows me as Lulla, the greatest coach Estalia and the Old World has ever seen. I've been granted a long life and most of my achievements with the Santoyo Sanguebole Clube are far in the past, but I tell you my team would crush the teams you young people adore so much right now, like these obnoxious Anglers with their, in my eyes actually quite mediocre coach. My Santoyoásticos (fans back in the day were as imaginative as today) revolutionized Sanguebole and I will tell you about the Jogo Bonito we played from 2557 until 2569. From this issue on I will present you tactics, tricks and trivia. We start with one of the most important tactical decisions: the defensive setup.
You see this setup a lot on the field nowadays and with good reason. Teams can protect their five best players and the middle is very solid. What most people don't know is that I actually invented it. The "Regla de Cinco" was utilized in most our matches to protect our "Balé Blanco", the five magicians with the ball: Gylmarian, a half elf with incredible agility, who intercepted every pass near him; Morko, an estalian boy raised by orcs that could throw the ball farther than anyone; Cultinho,a lightning fast diestro who could hit like a steam tank; Peppe, the strongest receptor the world has ever seen; and of course Pelle (who was as strong as an ogre and more agile than any elf). With players like these you dont want them to be blitzed in the first turn of your defense, so a setup that limits who can be hit is very valuable. It's best used when the oposing team has strong hitters and the defending team doesn't care about giving up deep positioning in their own half.
The Hondo is a deep setup that prevents the opponents establishing themselves in your half. I remember this one game very well, it was the 2563 semi final against the Cythral Stags. The first half ended 1-1, we managed to score the touchdown for the lead late in the second half, however the wood elves still had three turns to score. They blitzed the deeper diestro, failed to knock him down and got surfed in return. Oh, the good old times. Anyway, this setup prevents a cage to be formed deep inside your half and can force risky maneuvers. But be careful, six of your deep players are exposed to a blitzing attacker and after the opponent decides for a side the defenders on the other side of the pitch have a long way back.
Ahh, 2557, the first year we won the grand championship. That was of course before CIBBL, Bloodweiser and all the other modern stuff you kids know nowadays. Heck, CabalVision was still in black and white, can you imagine? We had to be on a ship for three weeks until we reached Barak Varr, home of the Barak Varr Mariners and the location of the final game. The Mariners played well, but they didn't have a halfling's chance in a slaaneshi dungeon against us. The Galones setup is very useful against slow teams that need to score quickly. The sides are very well protected and while the middle seems open, it is actually very hard to get players through there. With Santoyo leading 2-0 in the second half the dwarfs were desperate to score quickly and set up on the far right side of the pitch to get numbers on the sideline. A short kick to the left, a "Blitz" by Cultinho and a run by Peppe lead to a quick 3-0. We won that final 4-0 in the end and established ourselves as the premier Sanguebole club in the Old World that day.
Rats. You hate them now, we hated them back in the day. You can play your best game against them and they still somehow get a result against you. It was such a day in 2566 against the Mordheim Blitz in a simple qualification game. My team was quite old by then and the injuries over the years had reduced our quickness and durability somewhat, but we still managed to score the 3-2 in our last turn on offense. The rats had the ball and one turn to score. I hate rats. Most teams would set up a very deep line close to the touchline, but i wanted to be proactive and make the necessary pushes as hard as possible. My bloqueadors and the middle Guardavía had of course Guard, so the initial push was much harder, but it still worked out. All the others did too and that damn sidestepping rat pivoted and dodged over the sideline. We still won on overtime of course, but if we hadn't received the ball there ...
There are unlimited more possibilites to setup and these are just a few examples of what Santoyo's defensive setups looked like. Of course it depends on the players and skills a team has at their disposal, the situation of the game, and the opponent. I hope this tactical insight helps our readers to read the game better and to understand what happens on the pitch.
Until next time,
Lulla.
Agony Aunt Column
With Nun the Wiser
With Nun the Wiser
Nun the Wiser says:
"Forgive us our blocks as we forgive those who block against us."
"Forgive us our blocks as we forgive those who block against us."
Can’t score on or off the pitch?
Is the wife turned off by your latest mutation?
Are you being picked on for supporting the Anglers?
If you are a player, coach or fan with problems like these, or anything else, then write in to Nun the Wiser at this address for honest, wholesome advice.
Is the wife turned off by your latest mutation?
Are you being picked on for supporting the Anglers?
If you are a player, coach or fan with problems like these, or anything else, then write in to Nun the Wiser at this address for honest, wholesome advice.
Dear Nun the Wiser,
I went down the boozer the other night and after a few bevies I got this tin helmet off some geezer who was selling stuff. He says it is a magic tin helmet made out of a special tin called ‘foyal’ and that it makes anyone who wears it tackle better on the pitch. It makes me look really tough and I believe him that its magic cos it cost me loads of money and if it cost me loads then it’s gotta be good, right? Anyways, I really like it and I wear it all the time round me hut but I dunno if I can wear it when I play - is wearing a magic tin-foyal hat cheating?
- Tin-man, somewhere in the Empire
Dear Tin-man,
Take heart from my words! On the Blood Bowl pitch tackling is just as good as delivering a good old fashioned Pow! to your opponent, and sometimes, like when they are elves, it is even better! As for cheating, what I would say to you is don’t wear your new hat and the next time you get knocked down and subsequently take a boot to the face think about who is cheating then! Wear your tin foyal hat onto the pitch with pride and tackle! Tackle, tackle, tackle until you can tackle no more!
- Nun the Wiser
I went down the boozer the other night and after a few bevies I got this tin helmet off some geezer who was selling stuff. He says it is a magic tin helmet made out of a special tin called ‘foyal’ and that it makes anyone who wears it tackle better on the pitch. It makes me look really tough and I believe him that its magic cos it cost me loads of money and if it cost me loads then it’s gotta be good, right? Anyways, I really like it and I wear it all the time round me hut but I dunno if I can wear it when I play - is wearing a magic tin-foyal hat cheating?
- Tin-man, somewhere in the Empire
Dear Tin-man,
Take heart from my words! On the Blood Bowl pitch tackling is just as good as delivering a good old fashioned Pow! to your opponent, and sometimes, like when they are elves, it is even better! As for cheating, what I would say to you is don’t wear your new hat and the next time you get knocked down and subsequently take a boot to the face think about who is cheating then! Wear your tin foyal hat onto the pitch with pride and tackle! Tackle, tackle, tackle until you can tackle no more!
- Nun the Wiser
Dear Nun the Wiser,
It just occurred to me that Nuffle spelled backwards is Elffun...Elf-fun! Are Elves the spawn of Nuffle and is that a bad thing?
- Jorun Jr. from the bog
Dear Jorun Jr.,
What? What is this!? What a ridiculous thing to write in about!! Other people are suffering out there and you waste my time with such nonsense!
Tzeentch spelled backwards is Hctneezt. Sounds a bit like a sneeze doesn’t it? - but you don’t see me writing in for advice about it, do you!?
Honestly, if I weren’t so devout I’d wish plagues of wasps, locusts and spiders upon your house! However, due to my devoutness, I shall wish only for the locusts...
- Nun the Wiser
It just occurred to me that Nuffle spelled backwards is Elffun...Elf-fun! Are Elves the spawn of Nuffle and is that a bad thing?
- Jorun Jr. from the bog
Dear Jorun Jr.,
What? What is this!? What a ridiculous thing to write in about!! Other people are suffering out there and you waste my time with such nonsense!
Tzeentch spelled backwards is Hctneezt. Sounds a bit like a sneeze doesn’t it? - but you don’t see me writing in for advice about it, do you!?
Honestly, if I weren’t so devout I’d wish plagues of wasps, locusts and spiders upon your house! However, due to my devoutness, I shall wish only for the locusts...
- Nun the Wiser
"But fresh lilaced bloodbowl fields, cannot hide the stolid stench of death"
Mahrak Musings
As a completely new team, stepping straight into the summer games with no opportunity for any pre-season friendlies we certainly expected a challenge ahead of us, and to top it off we joined the season late, so these teams had already been battling it out before we even had a chance to warm up the old bandages. This became very apparent in our debut match where even though we only lost 1-0 we took severe casualties, with three needing to sit it out for a game, one sustaining a career-ending disability and another being made so dead even the great Nagash himself couldn't have got him back onto the pitch.
With our coughers completely empty and a starting lineup that was more suited to a Sevens match, we had to get some outside help from some mercenary players. This actually worked out surprisingly well for us, we got a win versus the Library of Indra, and Thoughts of Thoth, both times sustaining no injuries and even making a bit of bank. Our next game wasn't quite such a success, we didn't lose, however, finishing 1-1 at full time against the region's favourites Offa's Hearthweru, one of our skeletal linemen did die during the match, but (and don't show this to any potential new recruits) that is what they are for, protecting our stars!
So at the end of our summer season, we actually placed third, despite our losses and late start, which is significantly better than expected, and really encouraged the players into training hard for Autumn.
The interconference draw for Autumn saw us placed in the Granite division comprising of teams from all across the world, We are currently two games into it, and have been pretty lucky so far, getting a first round win against an Etheral team the Revenge Street Reapers and then another victory against a Skaven team the Fangsnapper's Clawpack, I dont expect us to have this luck for the rest of the season, we have some pretty tough matches including a team of highly trained Vampires, and the fan favourite team of Snakemen K'r'shh Sl'ppr'ss.
I have confidence that the boys are going to give it their best shot, and even if we don't get any more wins this season I believe we will have learned a lot from playing this variety of different races. Our tactics have remained largely the same after our initial mistakes: Pick up the ball, and take it to their side of the pitch! I think even our rookie skeletons can remember that play without too much difficulty.
Stars In Your Eyes
Edmund Highnose stands a safe distance from The Wicker Man
Edmund Highnose stands a safe distance from The Wicker Man
EH: Wicker Man, tell us about yourself?
WM: I grew up on a little island, just north of the Albion mainland. It was a close-knit community, looked after our own, but were very welcoming to tourists. Indeed, it was an outsider from the Empire who first brought bloodbowl to us. We rewarded him with a special prize reserved for our most famous guests - indeed, one could say he's sharing in my success right now.
EH:Tell us about your origins - do you get your flamyness from your mum and dad, Wicker Man?
WM: Well, that's a little awkward. I'm a product of parthogenesis. That and too much jumping over bonfires. I put most of my development down to my unique schooling I recieved.
EH:You've been coming out to an unusual theme song in recent weeks/ What are the lyrics again?
WM: 'Grows the seed and blows the mead
and springs the wood anew'
EH:Your frenzied blocking has been compared to an angry swarm of bees. Any comment?
WM: I think you're thinking of a different Wicker Man.
Meet The Staff
Name: Grot Snotson
Position: Editor
Written by: jdmickleburgh
Position: Editor
Written by: jdmickleburgh
Name: Carlos Tuffjaw
Position: Digital Performance Analyst
Written by: jdmickleburgh
Position: Digital Performance Analyst
Written by: jdmickleburgh
Name: Edmund Highnose
Position: Celebrity Correspondent
Written by: datom
Position: Celebrity Correspondent
Written by: datom
Name: Bradrid Largegranite
Position: Chief Interviewer
Written by: jdmickleburgh
Position: Chief Interviewer
Written by: jdmickleburgh
Name: Greasus Legsnapper
Position: Chef
Written by: jdmickleburgh
Position: Chef
Written by: jdmickleburgh
Name: Bilfrindal
Position: Predictor
Written by: datom
Position: Predictor
Written by: datom
Name: Nigel Likely
Position: Journalist
Written by: Nabster
Position: Journalist
Written by: Nabster
Name: Fidgit Dipstik
Position: Illustrator
Written by: jdmickleburgh
Position: Illustrator
Written by: jdmickleburgh
Name: Khor
Position: Pundit
Written by: Calthor
Position: Pundit
Written by: Calthor
Name: Quingin Tonec
Position: Pundit
Written by: Teppich
Position: Pundit
Written by: Teppich
Name: Nun the Wiser
Position: Spiritual Advisor
Written by: Sweep12121
Position: Spiritual Advisor
Written by: Sweep12121
Name: Coach stowelly
Position: Head coach of the Mahrak Maulers
Written by: stowelly
Position: Head coach of the Mahrak Maulers
Written by: stowelly
Name: Lulla
Position: Tactician
Written by: neubau
Position: Tactician
Written by: neubau
Name: F. Phoenix
Position: Professional Shirker
Written by: Fanky
Position: Professional Shirker
Written by: Fanky
Name: Elchozius the Morbid
Position: Chronicler of la mort
Written by: Rbthma
Position: Chronicler of la mort
Written by: Rbthma
We Want You!!!
Do you have what it takes to write for The Scribbl? A new issue comes out every 10 days and we are always looking for new authors. If you have an idea for an article then contact the editor here. Do it now!!!
Next issue on sale: 5th May
Do you have what it takes to write for The Scribbl? A new issue comes out every 10 days and we are always looking for new authors. If you have an idea for an article then contact the editor here. Do it now!!!
Next issue on sale: 5th May