Scribbl 13 PressConf Malefic Mimes

In the Union District of Gleehaven stands a Blood Bowl stadium recently christened the Fortress of Quietude. It is an older venue that has been repurposed and redecorated to house the newest CIBBL team in the Ulthuan and Naggaroth Region, the Malefic Mimes. The Northern half of the stadium has been painted skull white while the Southern half is as black as tar. Inside the stadium, the Eastern half of the field is likewise white while the Western side of mid field is black. The only color allowed in the arena can be found in the bleacher dedicated to the visiting team, or on the field when blood is spilt.
When a game is not in session, the only sound to be heard within the stadium is that of the head coach of the Malefic Mimes. However, on this occasion, he was silent as he sat in a luxurious box seat he had renovated to serve as his office. He thoughtfully scribbled a message to his bookie (and your noble reporter intercepted a copy).
To Maximillian Tanner
Owner of The Scarlet Coin and Crimson Boot
Please accept this analysis as payment for the gold I owe as result of Malefic Mime results last tournament. Unfortunately, the elves performed better than expected.
Before looking at the competition, consider first the Malefic Mimes. As with last season, I recommend that you never, ever bet on the Mimes. They will be the underdog in every game they play this season. Even hiring muscle and extra healers should not be enough to protect them from the competition in this region. However, certain players may be worth watching for speculative wagers. Sabine is likely to foul regularly, and Roesia will throw as often as possible. She already holds the CIBBL record for most completions in a match.
Max, you know how much I hate elves so this analysis truly sickens me, but let’s look at the competition. The two powerhouses in the region are the Dark Elves and the team from Avelorn. Last season the teams split their encounter with the Doom Glade Deamons winning the regional tournament, while Eye and Arrow hoisted the Gold Tournament Cup. Those two teams hate each other just as you would expect in any Elf and Dark Elf rivalry. If I were a betting man, I would have to bet on Eye and Arrow to take home the regional trophy this year. The Demons may have the more expensive team but the Eye and Arrow has a swagger and confidence after their latest wins. (By the way, put me down for 50 sapphires on Eye and Arrow to win).
Next, let’s look at those crazy witches. The Black Widows could be a good dark horse bet this season. They will be bringing five witches to the games and that is a bucket full of frenzy. The only reason I don’t like them to win it all is the lack of muscle. They have trained to guard one another rather than hurt the opposition. Also, being so lightly armored means that they will probably be short handed rather often. Still, the team has skills so take that into account when looking at the spread.
The Dukes of Earthquake Valley are an enigma to me. I simply cannot see where management has put nearly two million gold pieces. Their fortunes lie in the passing game. They have the best thrower in the region and a pair of quality catchers. Unfortunately for them, the catchers are a bit niggled up so you cannot rely on them to be on the field the entire match. Still when they do stay on the field they are almost impossible to keep out of the endzone.
Finally you better not overlook the squad I love to hate most. The Spite Reach Corsairs provide serious matchup problems for teams in the region. The combination of blades and shadowing skills can be just devastating. Seriously! They bring eight blades to a match and the ref just closes his eyes. Then they follow you around with a poke, poke, poke, poke! It is a shock when anything not ensconced in full elf armor survives a match.
Now Max, I do have a favor to ask. Could you pass a message along to your contact within the Mercenary Triad? I have a couple of players I would pay to see retired one way or another. You can see my list below in order of priority.
1. Kraegaer the Unseen – Spite Reach Corsairs – The quick blade stabs multiple times.
2. Shinesa – Eye and Arrow – The Handmaiden is the quickest on the team and a scoring menace.
3. Malaguth Blackmoon – Doom Glade Deamon – The niggled blitzer hits hard and is a sure tackler.
4. Rageshadow – Black Widow – No ball is secure when this witch is about.
5. Heni Hethruin – Dukes of Earthquake Valley – The best passer in the region and a serious annoyance.
6. Sabine - Malefic Mimes - I think she is following me, and she give me the creeps.
Thank you for your understanding regarding the late payment on my bill. I hope this analysis proves lucrative for both of us.
Regards,
Kondor
Head Coach of the Malefic Mimes