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Scribbl 13 Nun
Agony Aunt Column
With Nun the Wiser
With Nun the Wiser
Can’t score on or off the pitch?
Is the wife turned off by your latest mutation?
Are you being picked on for supporting that team... who were they?
If you are a player, coach or fan with problems like these, or anything else, then write in to Nun the Wiser at this address for honest, wholesome advice.
Is the wife turned off by your latest mutation?
Are you being picked on for supporting that team... who were they?
If you are a player, coach or fan with problems like these, or anything else, then write in to Nun the Wiser at this address for honest, wholesome advice.
Nun the Wiser says:
"Block-block-be-do-wop!"
"Block-block-be-do-wop!"
Dear Nun the Wiser,
I am a top, top coach of a top, top team called the Dragon Ogre Dwarf Pixies. We keep getting burned by the CIBBL administration who won’t let us into the league. We get the BURN A LOT and, quite FrANKlY, I’ve had enough!
This new league magazine thing, for example - we’ve not even had a mention! It all feels like propaganDA TO Me!
Of a certainty we would have won every league, every season if the system weren’t so rigged against us!
The whole thing is farciCAL, THORoughly farcical!
I’m not one to name names but the worst one is that dastardly JD character!
Listen - what are you going to do about it?!
- Raging against the World
Dear Raging,
My, my, it does rather sound like you have got your knickers in a twist! From what I understand, CIBBL is the most well run, efficient, fair and equitable (Anglers notwithstanding) league in all of the world and those league admins all do a wonderful job in their various ways.
And some of them are just to die for, aren’t they! I heard that the league commissioner is some sort of elf with blue hair - ooo, so exotic!
In fact, Bilfrindral tells me that he has just been on holiday with one of the league admins in something called a Karry-van?
... mmm ... come to think of it, I wonder if that is why he always seems to know so much about results that haven’t even happened yet ...
Anyway - if your team is not in CIBBL then it sucks.
- Nun the Wiser
I am a top, top coach of a top, top team called the Dragon Ogre Dwarf Pixies. We keep getting burned by the CIBBL administration who won’t let us into the league. We get the BURN A LOT and, quite FrANKlY, I’ve had enough!
This new league magazine thing, for example - we’ve not even had a mention! It all feels like propaganDA TO Me!
Of a certainty we would have won every league, every season if the system weren’t so rigged against us!
The whole thing is farciCAL, THORoughly farcical!
I’m not one to name names but the worst one is that dastardly JD character!
Listen - what are you going to do about it?!
- Raging against the World
Dear Raging,
My, my, it does rather sound like you have got your knickers in a twist! From what I understand, CIBBL is the most well run, efficient, fair and equitable (Anglers notwithstanding) league in all of the world and those league admins all do a wonderful job in their various ways.
And some of them are just to die for, aren’t they! I heard that the league commissioner is some sort of elf with blue hair - ooo, so exotic!
In fact, Bilfrindral tells me that he has just been on holiday with one of the league admins in something called a Karry-van?
... mmm ... come to think of it, I wonder if that is why he always seems to know so much about results that haven’t even happened yet ...
Anyway - if your team is not in CIBBL then it sucks.
- Nun the Wiser
The SCRIBBL magazine wishes to apologise for the late reply to the following letter. This delay was caused by the letter becoming stuck to Greasus’ butt for a number of weeks after he stood in for the advice column.
Dear Nun da Wyza,
Itz me agin, not-Grakk who don’t play for der Stealers.
Fankz for der advice before - I told der Coach ‘e woz a Wazuk an’ I haz bin playing every game since!
It ‘az bin real gud, only now I ‘az got anuva problem - there is anuva Grakk!
Whenever da coach shouts ‘Grakk, come ‘ere ya stinkin’ snotbag!’ this uva geeza runs over to ‘im as well. ‘An I am no gud at reedin’ but I saw the teem sheet from der last game ‘an there woz 2 scribbls on it that look exactly da same.
‘Ere it iz - I swiped it so I could send it to youz. Wot iz der coach playing at now?
- Not Grakk again who don’t play for Der Peaksblight Stealers
Dear Not-Grakk,
Awesome. I mean, we all know that goblin teams cheat, but this really is some top, top cheating! Der Great Gobbo has taken cheating to the next level here as this is such a brazen flouting of the rules; just listing the same player twice, so simple - and right next to each other on the team sheet too - showing a total disregard for the intelligence of the league admins! And it seems like he is getting away with it too, making it all the more scheming! He’s probably even got this other Grakk playing for free!
For your part, I suggest you roll with it. Look at this way; would you rather two Grakks or no Grakks?
- Nun the Wiser
Dear Nun da Wyza,
Itz me agin, not-Grakk who don’t play for der Stealers.
Fankz for der advice before - I told der Coach ‘e woz a Wazuk an’ I haz bin playing every game since!
It ‘az bin real gud, only now I ‘az got anuva problem - there is anuva Grakk!
Whenever da coach shouts ‘Grakk, come ‘ere ya stinkin’ snotbag!’ this uva geeza runs over to ‘im as well. ‘An I am no gud at reedin’ but I saw the teem sheet from der last game ‘an there woz 2 scribbls on it that look exactly da same.
‘Ere it iz - I swiped it so I could send it to youz. Wot iz der coach playing at now?
- Not Grakk again who don’t play for Der Peaksblight Stealers
Dear Not-Grakk,
Awesome. I mean, we all know that goblin teams cheat, but this really is some top, top cheating! Der Great Gobbo has taken cheating to the next level here as this is such a brazen flouting of the rules; just listing the same player twice, so simple - and right next to each other on the team sheet too - showing a total disregard for the intelligence of the league admins! And it seems like he is getting away with it too, making it all the more scheming! He’s probably even got this other Grakk playing for free!
For your part, I suggest you roll with it. Look at this way; would you rather two Grakks or no Grakks?
- Nun the Wiser