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☆☆☆ WORLD SPORTS ☆☆☆ XXXL SPECIAL 3 ☆☆☆ Mad Moon Mischief
Mad Moon Mischiefs OWNER: Gnoblar SEASON 0 RECORD: 4-1-1 SPONSOR: Konverze Allstarz HONOURS: None really spring to mind, something about a Headz Division, which lets face it would have been pretty easy, and some sort of XXXL cup which I've never heard of to be honest. HAPPY_AMATEUR PREDICTS: There's a lot of talk about the returning Mad Moon Mischiefs and of course all of it is fueled by impotent rage, jealousy and an intense dislike of the many detestable characters associated with the club. That's not to say that there is positive stuff being thrown around about Gnoblar and his band of misfits. Many people are asking whether he can repeat the success of his first season. Many are asking whether he will once again get an easy run to the final. Some are wondering whether Nuffle will realise he is not in charge and take away his Admin dice. A few wonder whether he will be able to retain or even break some of the records he has posted last season, and it is that point that I will be focusing my predictions on. We all know that before the XXXL was enacted, that little baby Gobbos were all fat little Gitz that got no exercise and waddled around like inflated Snotlings, avoiding sharp objects like the plague. We all know that they got that big on a steady diet of those delicious and forbidden WOTZDISFINGS, the cheesy corn puffs that turned all their little green fingers bright orange as they shoved them down their throats by the handful. (*WOTZDISFINGS Delicious Corn Puffs are currently seeking to enter the sponsorship market of the XXXL - ed.* ) Many of the ultra fit, nutritionally managed players of the XXXL retain fond memories of gorging themselves on the little puffs of cheesy goodness. BUT those memories were sulled last season by the sickening news that Mischiefs owner Gnoblar, had given up on puzzle pieces, and had inserted no fewer than 143 WOTZDISFINGS into his anal cavity. What's more, the 59(*check age -ed.*) year old dimwit boasted of his dubious feat on social media, and claimed his own players had encouraged the stunt. Gnoblar, probably of Slough or Dagenham or some really shit place, posted on Twatter: "Just put 143 WOTZDISFINGS up my bum #likedaboyztoldmetoo #mischiefs #XXXL #ithurtsbutilikeit. Explaining his behaviour in an emergency press conference, unwed and lonely Gnoblar said "I waz tellin da boyz abowt how I went to da garden centa to chek owt sum luvly green turf for da stadium an how I'd bourt da grownskeeper a shinee new shovel an how it waz nice and shinee and all dat, and den wun ov dem sayz to me 'Oh just f*** off Gnoblar an shuv some WOTZDISFINGS up your arse, or whateva it iz yu always do...' and well, I like ta do what da boyz wan so I sent me assistint coach down da shops to by a bunch of WOTZDISFINGS den took dem into me office to put up me arse. It waznt eesy cause da first wuns jus sort of crumbled on my fingas but wunce i maniged to get da hang of it f*** me... I had ta send me assistint back duwn da shops to by more of dem. Only problim iz now it stings wen I poo." This morning a Club Spokeman for the Mad Moon Mischiefs commented "What's he been up to now? The daft c***!" PLAYER TO WATCH: Looking at the team, they are all pretty average really. I guess Spud maybe.... if he survives the season long enough to get block. But that's a big if.... maybe the pogo.... but then if I get a chance I'm gonna stomp him to death personally in the weird 'Fling competition we're playing preseason so.... yeah definitely not the pogo. |