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☆☆☆ WORLD SPORTS ☆☆☆ XXXL SPECIAL 3 ☆☆☆ XXXL Bad Apples
[XXXL] Bad Apples OWNER: Halfabrain SEASON 0 RECORD: 4-1-1 SPONSOR: Hard to tell really but I heard a rumour it was Grom's Troll Meat Co. (*- just waiting on confirmation for that - ed.*) HONOURS: They had the honour of playing the Night Goblin Nasties™ once. HAPPY_AMATEUR PREDICTS: A poor man's Gnoblar was one description being thrown around the XXXL Coaching Union, but I think this is really unfair on him, and shame on all of you who keep describing valiant Halfabrain like this. (*. Are you sure you want me to publish that bit, its basically every other coach in the league that says it Happy!? Do you really want to upset them all? -ed.*) He's certainly not a poor man's Gnoblar, more like a pale imitation. I mean... their record in the Headz Division was the same, they sound the same when they talk, and what's more is according to more than one secret source, (*. Changed Pana's name here to protect his identity -ed.*) they even look nearly identical. Far be it for me to judge Halfabrain for using his ability to pass for Gnoblar as a way to bed hundreds of Cheerleaders at the Incredibly Mindblowingly Stately Commissioners Stately Mansion Pool Parties™, I mean, who wouldn't do the same thing. And judging from the conversation I had with him after one of those nose candy fueled Pool Parties™ I am comfortable making a prediction that THIS SEASON Halfabrain will beat his OWN RECORD for the number of CHEERLEADERS HE HAS SLEPT WITH WHILE PRETENDING TO BE GNOB. Indeed, randy Halfabrain is no stranger when it comes to getting his bits wet at the Pool Parties™ because those up-for-it cheerleaders have never realised that we don't invite Gnoblar to any of them. Halfabrain, 48 - the same age as the current reigning Champion - told me that he reckons he's done over 500 willing cheerleaders who mistook him for Gnob last season. Halfabrain told me grinning: "It all started at one of dem Incredibly Amazingly Stately Commissioners Stately Mansion Pool Parties™ wiv all dem cheerleaders, when a cupple of dem came up to me and asked 'Are you dat Gnoblar dats winning da leeg currently?' And I'd had a few drinks so I said 'Aye, I am pet.' I mean, I can't talk Cornish or Summaset or whereva it iz dat da reel Gnob comes from, but dat didn't put dem cheerleaders off. She start'd sayin all dis sexy stuff like 'Wanna get in da deep end?' and 'Dat dirty pool needs cleaning.' and all sortz of erotix fings like dat. So I fort I'd play along and I asked her 'Are yu after a scuttle luv?' And that waz da start of it. I've neva looked back to be 'onest. I mean, if dey mistake me for Gnob, dat's dere mistake.'" A Club Spokesman for The Bad Apples didn't really give a reply, rather, he just put the mouthpiece to his chest and shouted "He's at it again! Call the lawyers! Call them now!" at who I could only assume was a secretary. PLAYER TO WATCH: Big, bad, block Troll, Shouting then silent would definitely be a player to keep an eye on, but rumour has it he'll be leaving the club for around a 280k transfer fee (*. Are you sure you want him to know we all talk about how much we are offering behind his back? I recommend taking this out Happy - ed.*) so I'll probably remain silent on the matter. |