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☆☆☆ WORLD SPORTS ☆☆☆ XXXL SPECIAL 3 ☆☆☆ Possibly the most knives
Possibly the most knives OWNER: Xandyreoch SEASON 0 RECORD: 2-1-3 SPONSOR: Apparently they've been abandoned by their sponsors and have yet to reach an agreement with a new corporation. HONOURS: They starred in the first ever XXXL Classic Match Replay! What more could you want? HAPPY_AMATEUR PREDICTS: Unfortunately for fans of Possibly the most knives, there have been several dodgy financial hiccups in the off season. I myself was having a few quiet drinks in the ball room at the Enormously Extravagent Stately Commissioners Stately Mansion, when I first heard about it. Knocking back a couple of cold ones in the gorgeously decorated and not at all garish and ostentacious ball room, I found that I suddenly had an urgent need to make water. Not many readers will know the ins and outs of the layout of the premises, but needless to say, from the ball room to any conveniences is quite some distance. I am unsure as to how I went from fine to urgent so quickly, but I must admit that having left the ball room and turned right through the conservatory, I decided to cut a sizeable distance off of my trip, and just to make water in the potted plants right there in the conservatory. I mean, its nearly a forest anyway, noone would notice.... and there were several vulnerable cheerleaders back in the ball room that needed consoling after what had happened to them the night before. (*- for legal reasons I have taken any mention of Halfabrain and MrCushtie out of this copy. -ed.*) Imagine my surprise as, when reaching peak flow, I thought that I heard the bushes sobbing. Putting myself away, a process which takes some time indeed, I parted the leafy ferns only to come face to face with a miserable creature. Xandyreoch, curled in the fetal position amongst the vast vegetation of the conservatory. 'What is wrong?' I asked him tenderly, knowing full well this young Git was under an immense deal of pressure, what with coaching in THE GREATEST GOBLIN LEEG EVER! "I'm ruined!" he wept, burying his face deeper into the rich conservatory soil. "I've only gone and stuffed up!" He wailed again. Unable to bring myself to pat him, I took a seat on the grass next to him. 'Tell me what you've done... it can't be that bad compared to some of the vile shit going on around here.' I said in an incredibly comforting manner. "Well, you know how for the financial security of the Club how, sometimes, the board or owner makes an investment in something other than the actual squad, as a bit of insurance really?" Of course I knew all about this practice of insurance, placing dodgy bets on the outcome of games, and other less than legal avenues of revenue that were available to the more base members of the Blood Bowling community. I nodded in the affirmative. "Well, when the board decided that we needed to diversify our investment portfolio, I had a hell of an idea. I thought... well... I'd pick a real favourite player on my team, someone that the fans really love, and I'd release a calender of them... you know... with sexy pictures every month, but with a bit of humour and entirely tasteful.... that sort of thing." I'd seen these type of calenders before and started to get a feeling of rising dread at this naive poor young Git, terrified of what he might reveal to me next. I nodded again. Clearing my throat I added, 'I'm sure it was very tasteful.'. "Well I only went and made a calender with Loopy Sue...... AND SHE'S DEAD!" he began to sob uncontrollably. I must admit to an overwhelming sense of relief when this was all that was revealed. 'That's alright son.' I consoled him. 'Just make it a commemorative calender. At worst you'll only have to reprint the first page.' "Really?" he managed to get out between wracking sobs. "Do you think that would work?" 'Of course it will work.' I told him and I began to see the gears grinding in his brain, tears almost immediately dried up. 'And now if you'll excuse me, I have a party to get back to.' As such MY PREDICTION for Possibly the most knives in their second season in the XXXL is that.... not one single Loopy Sue commemorative calender will either be sold, nor seen on the wall of coaching boxes ANYWHERE. PLAYER TO WATCH: Savannah Siguruk may be Xandy's third troll, but he's certainly no spare wheel. +ST and guard he should be golden for the upcoming season, considering opposition teams will have to deal with two other trolls beside him. I suspect he won't get knocked over if he does. And what does he care if he does got knocked down. Sean Mage is on his team so he's perfectly safe. |