A sad time indeed for The Wollongong Warriors as one of their best and brightest Chris 'Tank' Thomas was cut down in his youth. The effect on a number of players was visible, so in his infinite wisdom the manager threw a massive wake for the guy....everyone was invited.

The majority of the team arrived drunk/high/soiled or a combination of the latter to the event, with the hallmark sounds of 'The Cuban Brothers' pervaded the air with their energetic rhythm.
"HELLO MY FRIENDS" the lead singer announced,
"First I'd like to say thank you to you for coming and mostly thank you (points to manager off to the side of the stage) for inviting everybody here...even my little bastard of a brother pepe` was invited. Say hello pepe`". He gestures to his brother in a bright pink suit on the other side of the stage. Pepe` waves to the crowd and bones his brother at the same time.
"The real reason we are all here today is a very sad one yes. My personal good friend Maurice some of you may know of him as Chris, died earlier this week. Many of you people know the man as a bit of a rogue, a damn fine athlete and generally likeable, but this...she is not the whole story, no".
"I would like to say adios to a great man!, a man who by his own loins has already sired over 26 bastards! Yes yes, I see several of you people shaking your heads, but it is true. Some of you people here may have seen him in action in some quality home cinema. Hahahaahaaa, see you know what I'm talkin about."
Yeah yeah, and we all know why he was called 'Tank" don't we people?" He nods then shakes then circles his head.
"Ok OK, I tell you anyway. He got his name tank cos he was soo slow to get there, but he could blow the fillings out of a starlets mouth!"
"Anyway, to get this thing started, I'd like to dedicate this song to our friend, and also to send a message to all you silly young people out there, full of lust and love.... its called "I'd rather die of syphilis than in a car fire".
(sings)
"Anda 1, 2, 3, 4.....You haven't been out in a while, she can tell you're keen.........bah buhh buuhmm."
"but before you do it make sure that the taco is clean....."