Ralph Heid of Switzerland was a world-reknowned xylophonist, a lightening-fast musician who has been clocked at 1,000 strokes per minute. Born in 1946, the son of a band leader and an opera singer, he started playing the xylophone at age three, and a year later had a professional contract with a theatre in Basel, Switzerland. Somewhere in his career he died and was recruited for Xylophone Fun.

A ruffian wood elf broke poor Ralph's jaw! Those backward wood elves are so uncultured with their living in the woods and pooping down tree trunks that don't know culture and they hit it in the face!