<H3>Memorable quotes from "Boston Legal"</H3>
<B>Denny Crane:</B> I have an erection. That's a good sign. I'm ready to go to trial. Lock and load.

<B>Denny Crane:</B> Because we're friends, I'm gonna tell you something nobody else knows. I'm homophobic.
<B>Alan Shore:</B> [deadpan] I'm stunned.

<B>Denny Crane:</B> You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."

<B>Denny Crane:</B> Did my client tell you that this drug is unapproved by the FDA?
<B>Mark Harrison:</B> Yes.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> Did he tell you that, ah, there could be side effects?
<B>Mark Harrison:</B> Yes.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> You were fully informed.
<B>Mark Harrison:</B> I was.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> You consented.
<B>Mark Harrison:</B> I did.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> Take it again?
<B>Mark Harrison:</B> Absolutely.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> Like the doctor?
<B>Mark Harrison:</B> Love him.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> How's your memory?
<B>Mark Harrison:</B> My memory's fine.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> What's my name?
<B>Mark Harrison:</B> Denny Crane.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> Like you mean it!
<B>Mark Harrison:</B> Denny Crane!
<B>Denny Crane:</B> What's my name?
<B>Mark Harrison:</B> [shouts] Denny Crane!
<B>Denny Crane:</B> No further questions.

<B>Denny Crane:</B> How can you ban red meat?
<B>Dominick Ryan:</B> Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians.
<B>Dominick Ryan:</B> [Shirley and Dominick stare at him] Is there anything we can do?
<B>Shirley Schmidt:</B> We'll get in the media TRO.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard.
<B>Shirley Schmidt:</B> The word is "muster", Denny, but you're right, the law lacks condiments.

<B>Alan Shore:</B> [addressing a Canadian court] Oh, yes, mindful that abroad people tend to expect shock and awe when Yankees arrive on the scene, we shall leave you with two small but lasting words.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> Denny Crane, eh?

<B>Alan Shore:</B> [referring to a book about parasites found on salmon] This book, "A Stain Upon The Sea" it's all about these sea lice.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> Interesting.
<B>Alan Shore:</B> They call them cling ons.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> Did you say Klingons?

<B>Denny Crane:</B> You left me, Shirley. Women don't leave Denny Crane. And for a secretary!
<B>Shirley Schmidt:</B> It was the Secretary of Defense.

<B>Denny Crane:</B> Massachusetts is a blue state. God has no place here.

<B>Denny Crane:</B> You're one of those environmental lawyers?
<B>Peter Barrett:</B> Is there something wrong with that?
<B>Denny Crane:</B> They're evildoers. Yesterday it's a tree, today it's a salmon, tomorrow it's, "Let's not dig up Alaska for oil because it's too pretty." Let me tell you something, I came out here to enjoy nature, don't talk to me about the environment.
<B>Alan Shore:</B> All reality, none of it scripted.