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Past Players of South Paw Stormers
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 17 | Ian Clumsyfire | Squig Herders | 1 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 11 | Ruth Bader Ginsburg | Squig Herders | 6 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 7 | Robert Redford | Squig Herders | 5 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | -ma |
| 1 | Herbert Hoover | Cave Squigs | 14 | 19 | Leap, Claw, Very Long Legs, No Hands, Really Stupid, Mighty Blow, Wrestle | n, n |
| 13 | Whoopi Goldberg | Squig Herders | 17 | 3 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | n, m, d |
| 10 | Sylvester Stallone | Squig Herders | 14 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | -st |
| 12 | John McEnroe | Squig Herders | 9 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, m, d |
| 11 | Paula Radcliffe | Squig Herders | 5 | 1 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | -av, -ma |
| 10 | Babe Ruth | Squig Herders | 2 | 3 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 9 | Greg Rusedski | Squig Herders | 2 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 7 | Diego Armando Maradona | Squig Herders | 7 | 1 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 6 | Wasim Akram | Squig Herders | 5 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, m |
| 2 | Drew Barrymore | Cave Squigs | 8 | 5 | Leap, Claw, Very Long Legs, No Hands, Really Stupid | d |
| 1 | Michelangelo Buonaroti | Cave Squigs | 7 | 4 | Leap, Claw, Very Long Legs, No Hands, Really Stupid | d |