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Past Players of Uppa Drainpipe
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 14 | Gumby | Lineman | 1 | 0 | m | |
| 3 | Mrs Twolumps | Gutter Runner | 1 | 0 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger | n |
| 14 | Lumberjack | Lineman | 5 | 0 | d | |
| 8 | Roger The Shrubber | Lineman | 8 | 0 | m | |
| 7 | Mr Barnard | Thrower | 15 | 1 | Sure Hands, Pass | d |
| 3 | Sir Not Appearing In This Film | Gutter Runner | 6 | 12 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger, Block | d |
| 12 | Luigi Vercotti | Lineman | 18 | 0 | m, m | |
| 8 | Bruce | Lineman | 6 | 0 | d | |
| 12 | Vivian Smith Smythe Smith | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 11 | Nigel Incubator Jones | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 7 | Mrs Twolumps | Thrower | 5 | 4 | Sure Hands, Pass | -av |
| 4 | Mr Creosote | Gutter Runner | 20 | 6 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger, Block | m, d |
| 3 | Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson | Gutter Runner | 6 | 9 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger, +ST | d |