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Past Players of Melancholy Optimists
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 11 | Charismatic Void | Catcher | 6 | 4 | Diving Catch, Leap, Very Long Legs | -ma |
| 9 | Realist Rayne | Lineman | 7 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | d |
| 15 | Katelyn Hard | Lineman | 2 | 2 | Leap, Very Long Legs | d |
| 14 | Minimum Maxwell | Catcher | 15 | 35 | Diving Catch, Leap, Very Long Legs, Wrestle, Strip Ball, Dauntless | d |
| 17 | Osmond Whiteeagle | Lineman | 1 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | d |
| 14 | Celibate Sydney | Lineman | 4 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | -ag |
| 12 | Tame Taylor | Lineman | 1 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | d |
| 11 | Little Dakota | Lineman | 13 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | -av, m |
| 9 | Oily Oliver | Lineman | 11 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | d |
| 2 | Sad Tim | Blitzer | 21 | 16 | Diving Tackle, Jump Up, Leap, Very Long Legs, Wrestle, Dodge | d |