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Bigwood Tree Shmashaz
Roster [L] Savage Orc (CIBBL)


Head Coach:

Savage Jungle Orcs

Team Colours:

Bigwood Tree Shmashaz
"You wanna walk a path, you gotta make it."

From the ever sprawling jungle of the steaming Southlands come the Bigwood Tree Shmashaz. Every member of the tribe learns to trim the trees from a young age not only to not be cut off from the others by the vast vegetation, but also to honor the tribe's essential tradition: the pitchclear. Whenever the Shmashaz want to put up camp they clear enough of the surrounding jungle for a proper game of Blood Bowl. Shaman Tritob says maybe bowl is just played to get lazy orcs to do their woodkeeping, but he knows full well his greens would go mad left without something to shmash for too long, so best to get it out of the system.

"Of course I play Blood Bowl, what am I? Civilized?" -- Tardiproth Twikbreka

Year 2 W D L TD +TD -TD *CAS +CAS -CAS *PrestigeAchievements
Spring 1 1 1 3 3 0 6 7 -1 5 0
Summer 1 1 3 3 6 -3 13 14 -1 4 2
Autumn 5 1 0 10 3 7 19 17 2 21 1
Winter 0 0 1 0 2 -2 3 4 -1 - -2

Year 3 W D L TD +TD -TD *CAS +CAS -CAS *PrestigeAchievements
Spring 2 0 2 5 5 0 10 10 0 7 1
Summer 3 1 1 6 4 2 11 16 -5 14 1
Autumn 3 1 3 9 9 0 17 21 -4 11 1
Winter 1 2 1 1 2 2 0 -

Year 4 W D L TD +TD -TD *CAS +CAS -CAS *PrestigeAchievements

In this weeks Disgruntling Debutants we take a look at a team from the hostile south where every ray of light has to be wrung from the jungle: the Bigwood Tree Shmashaz!

Blood Bowl being a long tradition of the Bigwood tribe and the only way to get the orcs to clean enough jungle for a proper campsite it was only a matter of time before they wanted to take it out on some moving targets. And oh boy do they have some fury in their mitts. After a steal-away win against Eternal Ecstasy - look in the match report for the exact moment the orcs lost their fear of the ball - the Shmashaz now stand at an early lead in the Iron Division, but all is up for grabs with the first results just coming in and the Khorne portal yet to be opened.

As many a team in our beloved league the Shmashaz began their road to gore in their home region, starting in this case with a 2-1 win against the Sport Spawning Zlatan. In their second game the orcs, although troubling to get their hands on the spinning dervishes, managed to hold a 1-1 tie against the later region's champ Nejaz Djinn. This was also the last game for shaman Tritop to serve as the teams apothecary, as the tribe's witch doctor who goes by the name Leaf Mialohn, but does not want to be called - at all - finally ran out of excuses to do his job. As of now, Tritop has reverted to watching the games from high above and instructing the players on their mistakes after the game. So far this has yet to pay off.

Shining star of the team is Tardiproth Twikbreka, staking out 3 Triple-X awards in his last 3 games - what a beast! His first time in the light was a regional game against the Southland Scuttlers: With their fellow players lying prone due to some tribal rivalry that - albeit with the proper proceedings - was handled a little too close to the game, three blitzers made a concentrated attack on the ball-handling spider rider. After emerging the brawl with the ball Tardi was cut short just before scoring. Entangled in a spider's legs he couldn't make the final yard and after a quick relay deep into the Shmashaz' half the Scuttlers scored the deciding touchdown. Erclia Limblumb, one of the teams more positional blitzers, would later find herself in a similar situation. Deep in the second half with the Scuttlers' numbers fairly diminished she went for the score but nothing in her training could have prepared her for getting stuck in a spider's left-behind net! She felt the end zone with her face and lobbed the ball over to the crowd. With this loss the tribe finished second in the Southlands.

In the Conjoined Blue Eagle tournament the Shmashaz formed the superteam The Green Menace with the zoats Talsyn Tramplers. Only contributing one win to the Menace's scoresheet the orcs were left out of glory almost completely if not for Tardiproth's peak pummeling performance, which won him the Blue Eagle Ascending (casualty category). The trog Buce'ador joined the team from the fan ranks after a particularly brutal game against the Way of the Dragon. And when I say from the ranks I mean from the ranks: When the other fans finally realized the cause of the blocks massive bug infestation they threw him right in the Shmashaz dugout. Although his subsequent cheering from pole position failed to bring his team victory, with a history of bare knuckle tunneling he'll fit in right and tight with the tribe. The last we have seen from him was a situation after last game's ending ritual: Trying to impress Prattlehead - the talking lizardmen blitzer skull of Nomgulg - with his trophy the cave dweller approached him, when the unthinkable happened: Prattle actually shut up for once! Was Buce'ador's "ZLATLAN SHMASH!" scream when given the MVP for doing nothing just too much for him? Did this dirty cave dweller just claim to spring from the once so great temple-city or does he have some unfinished business there?

Tune in when the big guns meet the little fellas in their next game against the Goblin Revolushunary Kommittee to find out how long the greens can continue their spree! Will the combination of their increased wages - the Komittee seems to just subside on less - and the time-out of their prime blitzer be enough to take them down?

"Live's a circle, you know." Shaman Tritop shared with the assorted bunch of savages that had traveled with him to this bleak place. "You shmash, then you get shmashed. You take down a tree, some brushwood is gonna spring. Pluck some bushes, trees grow bigger. But this? Eternal stagnation? These lands embody the antithesis of everything we stand for. In the Bigwood, life springs forevermore. But here, it just stays."

The orcs all knew what he meant, felt it even, albeit the big words did not always find resonance in their thick skulls. The blitzers Brawl, Chankiri and Nomgulg still remembered their walkabout. Being tossed into the jungle -- or in Numgulg's case just being left behind one day -- to find their blitzer skull, to take it from someone, something bigger than them. To face the thought of getting shmashed. But the dangers of the jungle were a whole different animal to the dark, desolate plains they had to traverse to get to the stadium of the Malignant Curators somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

"You will be reminded of things you know, things you've seen. There are remnants of Dervishes, trotten out followers of that one Chaos god who took Deramuz from us, they even have a rat. But did we not win against the Djinn this spring? Did we not Fetter the Fury of those daemons? And did we ever lose to a rat?"

"But we DID lose to the skinks this year!" Radix Radex interrupted.

"Ohyes, don't think I forgot your tardiness. But the Zlatlans have forged their path through the jungle as have we." Tritop returned. "They have been beat and beat and beat upon until all that aren't splotch by now know to best get out of the way. Whom do the followers of this demised Malal tone their skills against? Do you see anybody, anything?"

The orcs did not. The bleak land around them was void of colour. No trees to climb or topple to find some light, just dust, rock and ghastly pools accompanied the nagging fear of never leaving these unhallowed grounds. It felt like they were here forever already.

"All they can do is simmer in their hate. Besides, remember our first ever game? When we came out from the jungle, palm trees bursting, monkeys screeching and showed the Zlatlans what's what? I want to see that yeasty force in your eyes again today. We are not many. We left the tribe where it's warm and there's food you don't have to carry everywhere."

A collective sigh roamed through the Shmashaz, they hated having to bring all those supplies and not being able to just share the fruits of some downed tree. Especially the two hastily added auxiliaries missed the comfort and community of the tribe.

"But even if our last season was not what we wanted it to be. Even if only Nomgulg and his annoying Prattlehead got any recognition for his endeavours. We are still the Bigwood Tree Shmashaz. So tonight, let us show them the jungle way. Let us show them that fury will prevail over hate as long as there is a loving soul among us. Let us colour their drab caverns with their very own blood. LET! US! SHMASH!"


Eternal Shmashing Grounds



NSL template by Balle2000.

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Progression: Standard
# Name Position Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs vp Sp Cost  
1Porlak Azath-KoTroglodyte5519Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Disturbing Presence, Prehensile Tail, Bone-head, Loner, Guard 70002214150k (150+20k) 
2Brawl PunyaSavage Blitzer7338Block, Frenzy, Thick Skull, Mighty Blow, +AV 16011622790k (90+50k) 
3Chankiri CrighacSavage Blitzer7437Block, Frenzy, Thick Skull, +ST, Mighty Blow 16110322090k (90+70k) 
4Komuna KijidomaSavage Blitzer7347Block, Frenzy, Thick Skull, Dodge, +AG, Sure Hands 14370113190k (90+90k) 
5 Nomgulg PrattleheadSavage Blitzer7347Block, Frenzy, Thick Skull, Guard, +AG, Sure Hands, Stand Firm 309170707490k (90+100k) 
6 Persqka Boughclip Savage Blocker4427Frenzy, Thick Skull, Dodge, Diving Tackle, Block-ma300001033580k (80+80k) 
7 T?ne MahutaSavage Blocker5427Frenzy, Thick Skull, Block, Guard, Mighty Blow 230101524380k (80+60k) 
8 Arprehdy TaenaeraeSavage Blocker5427Frenzy, Thick Skull, Block, Guard 24000231980k (80+40k) 
9Bun di RiddimSavage Blocker4427Frenzy, Thick Skull, Block, Guard-ma11010321980k (80+40k) 
10Gawkeye StranglerSavage Lineman6337Frenzy, Thick Skull 300000050k (50+0k) 
11 Adgar ScatterhandsSavage Lineman6337Frenzy, Thick Skull 1000001550k (50+0k) 
12Virola MyristicaSavage Lineman6327Frenzy, Thick Skull-ag401000350k (50+0k) 
13Wurmha BirchknockSavage Lineman6337Frenzy, Thick Skull, Block 600011750k (50+20k) 
14Onubub PalmflegSavage Lineman6437Frenzy, Thick Skull, +ST 6210111250k (50+50k) 
15Banta BrushripSavage Lineman6337Frenzy, Thick Skull 100000050k (50+0k) 
15 players  
Coach:Teppich Re-Rolls (120k):3  
Race:Savage Orc (CIBBL) Fan Factor:10  
Team Value:2080k Assistant Coaches:0  
Treasury:180000 Cheerleaders:0  
Tournament Weight:2080k Apothecary:Yes  

Games Played:33 (16/5/12) |TD Diff:5 (40 - 35) |Cas Diff:-2 (54/32/6 - 48/36/10)
Last Opponent: Nejaz Djinn