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Haunted All-Sorts
P [L] Human
Haunted All-Sorts

Sponsored By: Underworld Armour
Unknown: If your going through hell, keep going.

New Season Has Started

The new season has started strong for the All-Sorts. They managed a draw against the Windy City Brunch Squad and even managed to beat Vermintidе.

Is this the season they make it into Prems? Will their luck continue? We will have to wait and see.

New Season Has Started

The news man is back on site so we should see weekly updates again as to how the team is preforming.

The All-Sorts are half way through the season and have only managed their first win. They were recently mourning the loss of Ruler. Hank has taken up the mantle and managed to get himself an AG increase after his second game.

They will need to win the last three games of the season to have a chance to make it into the Conference next season.

News Man On Strike

The newsman was on strike this season so there were no updates...

The New Season

With very few changes to the team in the new season, the All-Sorts hoped to start off on a good foot.

However, they were put up against the Blue Mountain Giants. Suffering a loss and heavy casualties the team was unable to pull it together for their second game.

The All-Sorts have high hopes for their 3rd match and hope to start a win streak to stay away from being demoted.

The Final Hurdle

The All-Sorts had a chance to get into Prem for next season.. Unfortunately they faltered at the last hurdle against Immortalis Inquietus

Without any stand out performers the team was unable to obtain any Twahnlows this season. However we still have the lovely team awards to announce.

SWL LXXVI Team awards:

The Shield is awarded to Geoff for most touchdowns.

(4 TD)

The hammer is awarded to Jake for most casualties.

(7 CAS)

The coveted Mug is awarded to the season MVP. This season it goes to Teddy.

(18 SPP)

Death Of A Star

Early into the season the All-Sorts saw the death of their star player Hundie (c)

With it just coming up to the season halfway mark, the All-Sorts are sitting at 3rd on the table with a 2/0/2 record. They now need a string of wins to think about making it into the Prems.

New Season Kick Off

With the promotion into the Conference the Haunted All-Sorts were able to keep most of their players from SWL LXXVI and only one player was cut due to budget reasons.

The season has now started and the All-Sorts have managed to get their first win. A great performance from Hundie and Teddy saw the All-Sorts take control of the game and not let Chrimean Chimera any breathing room.

Done It Again

The Haunted All-Sorts have made it out of regional and into Conference for season LXXVII. Only time will tell if they are able to stand up to the preasure and keep their position at the end of the season.

This season the All-Sorts come home with a few Twahnlows, all thanks to Ruller.

SWL LXXVI Twahnlows:

The Bronze Ball was awarded Ruller. This is for the most touch downs in the Regional.

(11 TDs)

The Bronze Slipper was awarded Ruller. This is for the most rushing yards in the Regional.

(139 Rushing Yards)

The Bronze Strongarm was awarded Teddy. This is for the most yards per completions in the Regional.

(3.2 Pass/cp)

The coveted Twahnlow was awarded Ruller. This is for the most SPP in the Regional.

(33 SPP)

SWL LXXVI Team awards:

The Shield is awarded to Ruler for most touchdowns.

(11 TD)

Throughout the season the All-Sorts were only able to injure a single player...
The hammer is awarded to Billy for most casualties.

(1 CAS)

The coveted Mug is awarded to the season MVP. This season it goes to Ruler.

(33 SPP)


After Ruller pulled out another star performance the All-Sorts have secured second place for the season. This means they will be moved back into the Conference to redeem themsleves.

The coaching staff have high hopes for next season. The team just has to make it through the last game without any injuries.

Big Win

The All-Sorts have found themselves sitting in second place after a solid 4-0 win over the Scoundrels.

They are hoping to keep up the momentum coming into the last two matches of the season. Unlikely to overtake Secret Wasteland Love for the first place spot. A second place finish will mean they get promoted into one of the conferences.

Middle Of The Road

Four games into the season and it is already looking rough for the All-Sorts. Having ended up 1/2/1 the chances for promotion are going downhill. They will need to secure wins through the last three to improve the chance of promotion.

In the last game Ruller hit a first for the team. He has managed to hit the 10 touchdown mark, currently the highest scorer for the team.

Season Underway

With the new season now underway the Haunted All-Sorts find themselves off to a good start. Despite taking a beating in their first game they managed to come away with a convincing win in the second game.

Sitting on a win and a draw the team have high hopes for the rest of the season.

Horrendous End

The Haunted All-Sorts find themselves in line for relegation as they end the season 1/0/6... Only managing to pick up a single win. The team is waiting with baited breath to see what the end of season budget will entail.

Edit: The end of season budget has been released. There have been plenty of shake-ups within the team, most notably the departure of Atilla.

With the end of the season comes the awards. The All-Sorts managed to come away with a single Twahnlow this season despite their sub-par performance.

SWL LXXV Twahnlows:

This season the Silver fist was awarded to Jimmy. This is for least blocks per casualty.

(3.6 block/cas)

SWL LXXV Team awards:

The Shield is awarded to Ruler for most touchdowns.

(4 TD)

The hammer is awarded to Jimmy for most casualties.

(5 CAS)

The coveted Mug is awarded to the season MVP. This season it goes to Ruler.

(17 SPP)

Struggling Season

Having only won a single game this season the All-Sorts are struggling to stay afloat. They must win there last game of the season to give them a chance to stay away from relegation.

This season also brings great loss as the All-Sorts have lost 2 players due to injury and 2 players have been killed on the pitch.

The team have high hopes for what they might be able to accomplish next season.

Big Loss

It is with great sadness that we must announce the untimely death of Nebula.

He was a star player that lead the team through their first season and secured their promotion into the Conference bracket. He made a name for himself as a strong arm thrower who could pass as well as the elves.

Rest in Piece Nebula, you will be sorely missed

Slow Start

The All-Sorts have found themselves at the bottom of the table. They had a horrible first two matches where they lost 0-1. It all came down to the wire where they were unable to perform in the final moments.

To top it off the All-Sorts have had to release Ambition early. He suffered a broken neck against the Blue Mountain Giants and is unable to return to the field. This does mean Khan does get to step onto the field for the next match against Styx and Warpstone.

Season LXXV Budget

The budget for Season LXXV have been released. The Haunted All-Sorts have plenty to celebrate, they have made it out of the Regionals and into the Conference's. This means they have finally been able to obtain a sponsor, Blunder Armour, and received an extra $50k funding to start the season.

There was very little shake up with the team. The only member to leave was Virtuous, with having started a family he decided the risk of Bloodbowl was to much for him. However with his departure a few funds were made available to convince Jimmy the Ogre (not be be confused with Jimmi the Blitzer) to join the team.

End Of Season LXXIV

A win for the final game of the season sees the All-Sorts end in the middle of the table, out of reach to make it into a conference next season.

With the season coming to an end the All-Sorts wait for the news on their budget for the next season. They are quietly hopeful that they will be able to afford to keep all players, and bring on Jimmy the Ogre for some much needed muscle. The All-Sorts hope to find a sponsor in the off season in the hopes it will inject some much needed funds into the organisation.

This season the Haunted All-Sorts managed to come away with a few Twahnlows. They also have announced their own team awards.

SWL LXXIV Twahnlows:

The Bronze Arrow was awarded Nebula. This is for the most passing yards in the Regional.

(34 Yards)

This season the Bronze fist was awarded to Hundie. This award is for the lowest blocks per casualties in the Regional.

(5.88 block/cas)

Last but not least, the Bronze Strongarm was awarded to Nebula. This award is for the most yards per completions in the Regional.

(5.67 yards/cp)

SWL LXXIV Team awards:

The shield is awarded for the most touchdowns for the team. This season it is a 3 way tie between Nebula (2 TD), Atilla (2 TD) and Ashes (2 TD)

The player with the most casualties in the season is awarded the Hammer. Hundie (8 CAS) comes away with the honor.

The coveted Mug is awarded to the season MVP. This seasons winner is Hundie for a wopping 24 SPP.

Slipping Away

With the win over Singed Poor Scoundrels the All-Sorts felt they were in with a good chance to make promotion to Conference. However there dreams were dashed with the most recent loss to Styx and Warpstone dropping them to 5th on the table.

There is still a chance if everything falls into place and they win there next match against the Denizens of the Dreamlands. There will be tons of pressure on Nebula and Hundie to bring the team forward to victory.

Early Retirement for Phish

Due to a smashed ankle we regret to announce the early retirement of Phish from The Haunted All-Sorts. With the departure of Phish the team would like to welcome Ronan into the Blitzer position. We wish him all the best for the rest of the season.

The All-Sorts suffered a crushing defeat at the hands of The Blue Mountain Giants. They were left with 4 players on the pitch at the end of the second half. However, the team managed to avoid serious injuries as most of the team return to the field to face off against Singed Poor Scoundrels.

All-Sorts Fined

The All-Sorts were accused of trashing the Nocturnal Rose pub, after their first win against the Yeast Lords. The All-Sorts have been fined 30k for damage to property. This has delayed the hiring of Bob the Ogre by a game or two.

With a win under their belts the all-Sorts have high hopes against the Blue Mountain Giants. The Giants have been on a hot streak and are currently in the running for an unbeaten season. The game is scheduled to be played at Blue Mountain Stadium 8pm Sunday 24th.

Will the All-Sorts be able to come out on top, or will the Giants prevail and keep their streak alive?

Slow Start

With a second game under there belt, the All-Sorts find themselves 0/2/0 for the season. Not quite the explosive start they were expecting.
The All-Sorts are looking forward to there next match against the Elves and hope to cause some casualties.


Having secured a draw against the North Cape Crays, the All-Sorts decided to celebrate and finally get there team logo sorted. Nebula commissioned the talented Ashes to put something together for them. The resulting logo was better then expected.

The next step for the fledgling team is to try and find a sponsor.

Southern Wastes League LXXIV Kicks Off

SWL LXXIV is finally here!! The Regional draw has been released. The Haunted All-Sorts released a statement stating 'they are happy with the schedule' and believe they will make it through alive.

The first game against the North Cape Crays has been scheduled for 20:00 Tuesday 23rd at the Crays home ground the Clifftop Stadium.

Trial Of Blood

The trial of blood has been completed with minimal casualties. The only victim of this pre-season was Phish, having suffered a broken neck.

Starting out in the Orc's Bay, Deserted Isles, Nebula decided to venture to the Southern Wastes in the search of fame and fortune. He managed to cobble together a ragged team of locals and joined SWL LXXIV for their rookie season.

Location: Orcs Bay, Deserted Isles
Stadium: The Hive
Surface: Dirt
Nickname: All-Sorts
Colours: Dark Purple
Sponsors: Underworld Armour

Season LXXXI Starting 12:

After manageing to make in into the our of Regionals, the team has a few new faces starting to show their skills.

Season LXXX Starting 11:

Still stuck in the Regionals the team has had to make some cuts and hope for a few stand out rokkies to take them through.

Season LXXIX Starting 11:

Being put down into Regionals the team is trying to rebuild

Season LXXVIII Starting 11:

With almost making it into Prem, Ashes has asked for more money but Ruller has decided to keep going with the hopes to get there this season.

Season LXXVII Starting 13:

With a performance for the record books by Ruller, the All-sorts have made their way back into Conference for this season. With this promotion comes a health cash injection, allowing the team to retain most of their players.

Season LXXVI Starting 11:

A poor performance in season LXXV saw the All-Sorts demoted down a bracket. To make up for this the team had to drop a few players and bring in a number of rookies.

Season LXXV Starting 12:

After a mid table finish the All-Sorts find themselves promoted into the Conference bracket for this season. With this they finally obtained a sponsor and hired the much needed muscle of Jimmy the Ogre.

Season LXXIV Starting 12:

This team of misfits hope to make a name for themselves as they battle through the Trial of Blood and the Regional qualifiers.

Those poor souls who have suffered at the hands of the Haunted All-Sorts.

Casualty TypesPlayers
Minus Strength
Minus Movement
Minus Agility
Minus Armor

Niggling Injury

In honor of the brave men who have been forced into retirement, or can no longer play the game they loved.

Portrait # Player Position SPPs Notes

Portrait # Player Position SPPs Notes
10 Ruler Catcher 107 Best catcher the team has ever seen!!
13 Brad Blitzer 12
12 Chase Blitzer 14
3 Lehends Lineman 0

Portrait # Player Position SPPs Notes
16 Vlad Ogre 10
14 Sword Blitzer 17
13 Chovy Blitzer 3
12 Broxa Blitzer 17
9 Clid Catcher 0
1 Frank Lineman 0

Portrait # Player Position SPPs Notes
16 Boris Ogre 18
14 Jake Blitzer 35
13 Hamper Blitzer 12
12 Ashes Blitzer 33
9 Geoff Catcher 25
3 Brennan Lineman 18
2 Monty Lineman 0
1 Frank Lineman 0
Portrait # Player Position SPPs Notes
#13 Hundie (c) Blitzer 54 One of the origonal members. Hundie was a star blitzer who died on the pitch, and the Apo was unable to attend to the wounds.
#7 Patrick Catcher 0 Forced into retirement after a sub par first season.
#4 lancelot Lineman 0 Sent into retirement early to free up funds to pay for Ashhes to stick around.
Portrait # Player Position SPPs Notes
#3 Billy Lineman 7 The only player in season LXXVI to injure anyone and the only player axed for budget reasons
#2 Joel Lineman 0 A standard lineman with a not so standard performance. He suffered an head injury and was never the same.
#16 Jimmy Ogre 12 The teams first Ogre. He suffered a leg injury in season LXXVI so was sent into retirement in the pre season.
Portrait # Player Position SPPs Notes
#1 Ambition Lineman 0 One of the original 12, he held the front line and proved a good blocker. Left early into his second season due to injury.
#15 Nebula Thrower 27 The first Captain for the All-Sort. In an outstanding player who, in the first season, won himself the bronze strongarm and bronze arrow.
#14 Ronan Blitzer 14 Phish's replacement. He managed to cause a ruckus on the field, but had not managed to make a name for himself
#2 Faker Lineman 7 One of the original 12, he retired at the end of season LXXV after suffering a few injuries
#3 Bags Lineman 8 One of the original 12, he was forced into retrement at the end of seson LXXV due to budget cuts
#4 J Lineman 6 One of the original 12. Proved to be an asset on the front line with 3 confirmed casualties to his name. Retired at the end of season LXXV
#9 Atilla Catcher 19 One of the original 12. After a stand out rookie season, he struggled to perform in season LXXV, resulting in him retiring at the end of the season
#1 Kahn Lineman 0 A brave lineman who suffered a carrier ending injury during the season.
Portrait # Player Position SPPs Notes
#14 Phish Blitzer 2 One of the original 12. An early injury in the Trial of Blood and a Smashed ankle near the end of the season forced an early retirement
#5 Virtuous Lineman 0 A not so special first season saw Virtuous go into early retirement. He was one of the original 12

Top performing players in the Haunted All-Sorts history


Catcher Rushing Yards:
Touch Downs:
Jimmi Casualties:
Blitzer Rushing Yards:
Touch Downs:
Hundie Casualties:
Blitzer Rushing Yards:
Touch Downs:
Teddy Completions:
Thrower Passing Yards:
Rushing Yards:

Career Record
14 / 9 / 29

Trial Of Blood
0 / 0 / 2

Game 1: Loss 1-2
Trial o Puppies n Fluffy Candy

A nasty first game where Phish got himself injured.

Game 2: Loss 0-2

Started off a close game but the Khemri managed to regenerate all injuries to keep the numbers advantage.

Huge Axeman Regional LXXIV
3 / 2 / 2

Game 1: Draw 1-1
North Cape Crays

A game like no other. First turn after Nebula managed to pick up the ball, Forest Bark blitzed into the cage to knock him down.
The Crays managed to score early but dropped the hand off for the winning second touchdown. A heroic play was made by Bags, securing the ball from under a tree and passing it off to Nebula to score for the draw.

Game 2: Draw 1-1

Your typical Kehmri grind in the first half ending in a touchdown. The All-Sorts were unable to break the cage or stop the drive.
With the All-Sorts receiving the second half proved a bit more mobile as they managed to run around Didgeridead. Nebula did manage to get hit and spill the ball, only to recover and throw a touchdown pass. Didgeridead almost scored a winning touchdown on the last turn, but fumbled the hand off.

Game 3: Win 3-2
Yeast Lords

The Elves had it in the first half with star performance and going up 0-2. However the half time drinks motivated Nebula and his team to pull off 3 defensive touch downs to come away with the win.
A stand out performance by Neb as he threw the three touchdown passes.

Game 4: Loss 1-2
Blue Mountain Giants

A rough game for the team as the Dwarfs managed to remove most of the All-Sorts from the field. Phish received an smashed ankle and was forced into an early retirement. Luckily there were no further permanent injuries for the team.

Game 5: Win 1-0
Singed Poor Scoundrels

A star performance by Hundie after he managed to kill poor Lonely Nigel who had been with the Scoundrels since the beginning.

Game 6: Loss 1-2
Styyxs and Warpstone

A rough game for the All-Sorts, having most of there team taken off the pitch by star blitzer Salamoneus. A late touchdown by Ashes was answered quickly with Aegina returning the favour.
The second half was a slow grind by Styx and Warpstone meaning they came out on top with a 1-2 lead. There was nothing the All-Sorts could do to make a comeback. With this loss there hopes of promoting to Conference slips further away.

Game 7: Win 1-0
Denizens of the Dreamland

A brutal game for the Denizens of the Dreamland suffering two dead journeyman and a fractured skull. Still managing to hold off the All-Sorts offensive drive in the first half Dreamland looked to score in the second. Their plans unfolded as Hundie ripped through there team. With the ball forced lose the All-Sorts capitalised on the mistake to score the winning touch down.

BBQers Rise Again Conference LXXV
1 / 0 / 6

Game 1: Loss 0-1
Blue Mountain Giants

The expected result from the first game of the season. Losing players early on hindered the All-Sorts defence and offensive drives.

Game 2: Loss 0-1
Loec's Loggers

Close game that came down to Hundie failing a single dodge that allowed Loec's loggers to score.

Game 3: Loss 0-3
Styyxs and Warpstone

A game to forget where the Underworld performed beautifully. This game also marks the loss of Nebula.

Game 4: Win 2-1
Cryptic Cryptids

A resounding 2-1 win from the All-Sorts. The Cryptic Cupids managed to score with their Kroxigor after he caught a bouncing ball.

Game 5: Loss 1-4
Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters

A convincing loss where the elves did more damage then the Humans and handled the ball beautifully.

Game 6: Loss 0-3
Redgum's Rationalists

The game just fell apart as the All-sorts started to lose players. RIP Ronan

Game 7: Loss 1-2

A close game for the end of the season. Unable to pull out the much needed win though.

Gangrenous Gabriel Regional LXXVI
3 / 2 / 1

Game 1: Draw 1-1
Nuffl's Decaydence

A tough game that came down to the wire. The All-Sorts managed to force it to a draw.

Game 2: Win 3-0
Port Royal Poachers

The Elves could not elf this match and the All-Sorts were able to make the most of it.

Game 3: Loss 1-2
Secret Wasteland Love

Another game against Elves. After a very close game the Secret Wasteland Love managed to pull ahead and get the victory.

Game 4: Draw 2-2
Salzenmund Salamanders

A game the All-Sorts had in hand but they gave the Salamanders 2 turns to come back for the draw.

Game 5: Win 4-0
Singed Poor Scoundrels

The Scoundrels could not keep up to pace with the All-Sorts. Speedster Ruller scored himeself 4 touchdowns.

Game 6: Win 1-0
In De Nile

A tough game were the All-Sorts suffered a few KO's and injuries (luckily nothing serious) but Ruller pulled out a star performance to score the only TD.

Game 7: Win - Forfeit
Cocoa Speed

A disapointing way to end the season with a forfeit going the way of the Haunted All-Sorts.

Fraud Squad Conference LXXVII
3 / 1 / 3

Game 1: Win 2-1
Chrimean Chimera

Everything just went well for the All-Sorts. Hundie and Teddy found an opening near the end of the frist half to turn the ball over and score the first touchdown.
The second half started with Teddy scoring a second and the Chimeab Chimera working their way to a consolation touchdown on turn 16.

Game 2: Loss 0-1
Skye Hoppers!

A tough game for both sides with the All-Sorts making a few big mistakes allowing the Skye Hoppers to take the win.

Game 3: Loss 1-2

Bravado managed to pull the win out of the bag on the last turn of the match. Hundie was unceremoniously killed on the field and the Apo was no help.

Game 4: Win 2-1
Secret Wasteland Love

A tough game where the All-Sorts managed to take control of the game in the second half. They also managed to give the Elves their first loss.

Game 5: Win 2-1

The All-Sorts managed to pull out a win after a miraculous second half

Game 6: Draw 3-3
Port Royal Poachers

A very high scoring game, that both teams could have won, but couldn't lock it down.

Game 7: Loss 1-2
Immortalis Inquietus

A very important game that the All-Sorts managed to lose spectacularly.

Public Service Announcement Conference LXXVIII
0 / 1 / 6

Game 1: Loss 0-2
Blue Mountain Giants

A game against dwarfs where they did there thing and hit hard. The All-Sorts were unable to holde them back.

Game 2: Loss 0-1
Malice Renegades!

A close game where the Malice managed to score on the very last turn with a few lucky rolls.

Game 3: Loss 1-2
Styx and Warpstone

Game 4: Loss 0-4
Secret Runners of Sydney

Game 5: Loss 1-3
Bronzed Raiders

Game 6: Draw 2-2
Trondheim Hammers

Game 7: Loss 1-2
Chrimean Chimera

Woodistan State Dance Squad Conference LXXXI
1 / 1 / 0

Game 1: Draw 2-2
Windy City Brunch Squad

The All-Sorts somehow managed to get a draw against this naasty team.

Game 2: Win 4-2

The All-Sorts were on fire and managed to tear appart the poor Rats.

Game 3:
Big Boys Don't Block

Game 4:
Blood Crag Stripes

Game 5:
Wattlebay Warblers

Game 6:

Game 7:
More Food for Thawt

The Hall of Fame

The Originals

The starting 12 that kicked off the Haunted All-Sorts brand. They debuted in SWL LXXIV with a solid performance in the Regionals. They managed to finish in the middle of the table in their first season, and undeservedly earned a spot in the Conference bracket. Only to fall back into the Regional bracket for the next season. This saw heavy budget cuts and a few retirements/deaths. Only the stand out players remained, Ruller, Jimmy, Ashes and Hundie have continued with the team. Making it through to their 4th season, where they have found themselves back in the Conference bracket.


The Twahnlows were originally installed by the SWL Commissioner, Twahn, as a way of awarding those players who displayed their individual talents on the pitch. These are those players in the All-Sorts who have managed to obtain one of these coveted awards.


(34 Yards)

(5.67 yards/cp)

(5.88 block/cas)

(3.6 block/cas)

(11 TDs)

(139 Rushing Yards)

(33 SPP)

(3.2 Pass/cp)

View Log | Show matches | Show stats | Show Development | Show past players | Yearbook | Team Options | Refresh
# Name Position Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs vp Sp Cost  
1ZayBlitzer7338Block 300001590k (90+0k) 
2ParkerLineman6338  710000150k (50+0k) 
3HemeLineman6338  600000050k (50+0k) 
5Elliot MaachalLineman6338  300000050k (50+0k) 
7CarsonCatcher9237Catch, Dodge, +MA, Jump Up 5030111660k (60+50k) 
8 TeddyThrower6448Sure Hands, Pass, Accurate, Block, Fend, +AG, +ST 495370239370k (70+150k) 
9AlphonsoCatcher8237Catch, Dodge, Block 701001860k (60+20k) 
10RandyCatcher8237Catch, Dodge, Block, Dauntless 7040011760k (60+40k) 
12FrankBlitzer7338Block, Guard, Tackle 13100232090k (90+40k) 
13NormanBlitzer7338Block, Guard 1000021990k (90+20k) 
14LeviBlitzer7338Block, Dodge, +AG-ag20211422590k (90+70k) 
16SamOgre5529Loner, Bone-head, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Throw Team-Mate, Block, Guard 210005220140k (140+50k) 
12 players  
Coach: Nebula753 Re-Rolls (100k): 3  
Race: Human Fan Factor: 5  
Team Value: 1590k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 1100000 Cheerleaders: 0  
Tournament Weight: 1590k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:64 (15/12/37) |TD Diff:-32 (73 - 105) |Cas Diff:-51 (63/25/10 - 87/46/16)
Last Opponent: We'reWho!