Countless years ago while lost in barren seas
There whispered murmurs of a bloody mutiny
We took up arms and slain the officers of rank
And with swords drawn made the captain walk the plank

And as he fell down to the depths
He swore a deadly curse
"As sure as hell's my final fate
You'll all soon die, or worse"
Now as we stand before the gallows
Waiting for the end
I'll say these final words my friend

At sunrise we'll all dance the hempen jig
So raise up your pint of rum and take another swig
The curse of Captain Morgan has led us to this fate
So have no fear, and don't look back, the afterlife awaits

We returned to port with sorrow in our chests
An evil shadow followed us on every quest
Never to feel joy again was our fate
Only misery and death, fear and burning hate

We broke the law, betrayed the code
Now time is running out
An unforgivable offence
Of that there is no doubt
Now as we stand before the gallows
Waiting for the end
I'll say these final words my friend

At sunrise we'll all dance the hempen jig
So raise up your pint of rum and take another swig
The curse of Captain Morgan has led us to this fate
So have no fear, and don't look back, the afterlife awaits

Many years have passed now
Yet the curse still lives on
And now we rot in a black prison cell
Waiting for our true calling in hell
But for the lives we leave behind
Don't shed a tear, don't cry
The only way to break this curse
Is for us all to die
Now as we stand before the gallows
Waiting for the end
I'll say these final words my friend

At sunrise we'll all dance the hempen jig
So raise up your pint of rum and take another swig
The curse of Captain Morgan has led us to this fate
So have no fear, and don't look back, the afterlife awaits

Skipper's in the wardroom drinking gin
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
I don't mind knocking but I ain't going in
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Jimmy's laughing like a drain
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Been looking at comic cuts again
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Hey, chicken on a raft on a Monday morning
Oh what a terrible sight to see
The dabtoes forward and the dustmen aft
Sitting there picking at a chicken on a raft
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Oy-oh, chicken on a raft
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Oy-oh, chicken on a raft
They gave me the middle and the forenoon too
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Now I'm pulling in the whaler's crew
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Seagull wheeling overhead
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
I ought to be flogging in a feather bed
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Hey, chicken on a raft on a Monday morning
Oh what a terrible sight to see
The dabtoes forward and the dustmen aft
Sitting there picking at a chicken on a raft
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Oy-oh, chicken on a raft
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Oy-oh, chicken on a raft
We kissed goodbye on the midnight bus
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
She didn't cry, she didn't fuss
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Am I the man that she loves best?
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Or am I just a cuckoo in another man's nest?
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Hey, chicken on a raft on a Monday morning
Oh what a terrible sight to see
The dabtoes forward and the dustmen aft
Sitting there picking at a chicken on a raft
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Oy-oh, chicken on a raft
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Oy-oh, chicken on a raft
An Amazon girl lives in Dumfries
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
She only has kids in twos and threes
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Her sister lives in Maryhill
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
She says she won't but I think she will
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Hey, chicken on a raft on a Monday morning
Oh what a terrible sight to see
The dabtoes forward and the dustmen aft
Sitting there picking at a chicken on a raft
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Oy-oh, chicken on a raft
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Oy-oh, chicken on a raft
Well I had a little girl in Donny B
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
And did she make a fool of me
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Her heart was like a Pusser's shower
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
From hot to cold in a quarter of an hour
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Hey, chicken on a raft on a Monday morning
Oh what a terrible sight to see
The dabtoes forward and the dustmen aft
Sitting there picking at a chicken on a raft
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Oy-oh, chicken on a raft
Hey-oh, chicken on a raft
Oy-oh, chicken on a raft

Chomp chomp!
Chomp chomp!
Sailing out of Mexico heading up to New Orleans
Heard about the biggest treasure horde outside the Caribbean
One stormy night in Caillou Bay we smashed into the reef
A flash of claws, a crash of jaws, a load of big white teeth
If you see an alligator
In your refrigerator
You better say, "See ya later"
Or you might end up dead
They say you should never smile
Right at a crocodile
He'll drag you down into the deep
And eat your fucking head
Yo!
Chomp chomp!
Chomp chomp!
Chomp chomp chomp!
Our captain was the first to go, he got ripped into shreds
Still screaming as the alligator swallowed down his legs
One by one the crew all died in several nasty ways
The vision of that massacre still haunts me to this day
If you find a giant cayman
You're gonna have a really bad day, man
There's nothing more to say than
"I won't see you in a while"
Not even Russell Crowe
With a giant crossbow
Ain't got a snowballs chance in hell
To save you from that crocodile
Yeah!
Chomp chomp!
Chomp chomp!
Why oh why, did I jump into that swamp?
Mauled to death by alligators, all singing, "Chomp, chomp, chomp"
Time to die, on a sub-aquatic romp
Mauled to death by alligators, all singing, "Chomp, chomp, chomp"
Yeah!
Chomp chomp!
Chomp chomp!
Chomp chomp!

When I come back from a mighty quest.
I have no need for sleep or rest,
I head to a tavern for a drink,
And get so drunk I cannot think.
A wench by my side and a jug of mead,
These are the things that I most need.
So I sit back and sing this song,
And drink and party all night long.
HEI! HEI!
I want more wenches.
HEI! HEI!
More wenches and mead.
HEI! HEI!
I want more wenches.
Lots of wenches is what I need!

“I am a crazy lizard queen of no land!”
— Oona

"Being dead sure is great. All the wenches and mead a pirate could ask for!"

Woah-oh, come take a trip with me
I'll tell you of the greatest man who ever sailed the sea
Woah-oh, Fae Scotland's bonnie shores
He pillaged 'cross the ocean in search of rum galore
Woah-oh, aboard the good ship Scum
He'd fire a mighty blast from the 16 pounder gun
Woah-oh, his legendary crew
Could sail that ship to Hell and back, there's nothing they can't do

He killed the mighty Terrorsquid
The greatest man who ever lived
He beat the Vikings in a bloody war
Meet yer dad and smell yer maw

Fannybaws, he's a fearsome pirate
Fannybaws, he's the scourge of the seas
Fannybaws, with the black flag flying
Plundering, pillaging, spreading disease
Fannybaws, he's a fearsome pirate
Fannybaws, he's the scourge of the seas
Fannybaws, with the black flag flying
Bringing his foes to their knees
Fannybaws

Woah-oah, in Oban he was raised
He drank a bucket full of rum every single day
Woah-oh, his beard of flaming red
Would terrorize his enemies and make them wish they're dead
Woah-oh, four pistols on his belt
He went to battle naked, wearing just a tiger's pelt
Woah-oh, his name was Fannybaws
Now haud yer wheesht ya glaikit cunt or else he'll pump your maw

Fannybaws, he's a fearsome pirate
Fannybaws, he's the scourge of the seas
Fannybaws, with the black flag flying
Plundering, pillaging, spreading disease
Fannybaws, he's a fearsome pirate
Fannybaws, he's the scourge of the seas
Fannybaws, with the black flag flying
Bringing his foes to their knees
Fannybaws

Who killed the mighty Terrorsquid?
Fannybaws
The greatest man who ever lived?
Fannybaws
Who beat the vikings in a war?
Fannybaws
Meet yer dad and smell yer maw, oh
Who drinks his whiskey neat and strong?
Fannybaws
Who's got a boaby two feet long?
Fannybaws
Who's gonna take nae shite from you?
Fannybaws
So what the fuck you gonna do?

He drinks his whiskey neat and strong
He's got a boaby two feet long
He's gonna take nae shite from the likes of you
So what the fuck you gonna do?
Woohoo!

Fannybaws, he's a fearsome pirate
Fannybaws, he's the scourge of the seas
Fannybaws, with the black flag flying
Plundering, pillaging, spreading disease
Fannybaws, he's a fearsome pirate
Fannybaws, he's the scourge of the seas
Fannybaws, with the black flag flying
Bringing his foes to their knees
Fannybaws

Arr, when I was a young lad, my father said to me
"Arr, lend an ear and learn some pirate history
Once a fearsome pirate ruled the seven seas
He was your great-great-great-grand-pappy, Quint Skurvy"
He told me tall tales of his ill-begotten gains
But the greatest treasure of them all
Still haunts me to this day
I'll make you swab the deck
And then I'll throw you in the brig
I swear I'll make you walk the plank
To right the wrong you did
The day you mess with Skurvy, arr
You'll wish you were never born
When the coconut is mine
Then you'll feel this pirate's scorn
He hid it in an idol where it stayed for many years
But the eye of Inka Dinka Doo did shed the crystal tear
It laid upon the ground until, much to my surprise
A stupid ape just wandered by and snatched my treasured prize
He discovered it possessed extraordinary power
And stealing it from Skurvy would be his darkest hour
I'll make you swab the deck
And then I'll throw you in the brig
I swear I'll make you walk the plank
To right the wrong you did
The day you mess with Skurvy, arr
You'll wish you were never born
When the coconut is mine
Then you'll feel this pirate's scorn
Alright then crew
Let's show these filthy landlubbers what we're made of
Are ya ready? Let 'er rip!
I'll make you swab the deck
And then I'll throw you in the brig
I swear I'll make you walk the plank
To right the wrong you did
The day you mess with Skurvy, arr
You'll wish you were never born
When the coconut is mine
Then you'll feel this pirate's scorn
When the coconut is mine
Then you'll feel this pirate's scorn

In a time when men knew the meaning of fear
And the tyrants of hell ruled the land and the seas
There lived one man who was true
Guardian of secrets that only he knew
Condemned for a crime that he did not commit
Sentenced to die in the depths of the pit
He swore he would take his revenge
Every laster traitor, their lives he would end

With the power of ale - He could not fail

Sail into battle, glory and metal

Hail! - Huntmaster
Ride! - Huntmaster
Fight! - Huntmaster
Die! - Huntmaster

Up from the bowels of hell he sailed
Wielding a tankard of freshly brewed ale
Slaying all those in his path
Those who might hinder his god-given task
To bring back beer to the lands of the free
This is his quest, his true destiny
Legends shall speak of his name
Hail the Huntmaster, with honour and fame

With the power of ale - He could not fail

Sail into battle, glory and metal

Hail! - Huntmaster
Ride! - Huntmaster
Fight! - Huntmaster
Die! - Huntmaster

This is the hunter's badge of glory
That he protects and tends his quarry
Hunts with honor, as is due
And through the beast to the Gods is true

Do what you want, 'cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!

Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is all right with me,
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
Yo Ho, ahoy and avast,
Being a pirate is really badass!
Hang the black flag at the end of the mast!
You are a pirate!

You are a pirate! - Yay!

We've got us a map, (a map!)
To lead us to a hidden box,
That's all locked up with locks! (with locks!)
And buried deep away!

We'll dig up the box, (the box!)
We know it's full of precious booty!
Burst open the locks!
And then we'll say hooray!

Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is all right with me!
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
Yo Ho, ahoy and avast,
Being a Pirate is really badass!
Hang the black flag
At the end of the mast!
You are a pirate!

Hahaha!

We're sailing away (set sail!),
Adventure awaits on every shore!
We set sail and explore (ya-har!)
And run and jump all day (Yay!)
We float on our boat (the boat!)
Until it's time to drop the anchor,
Then hang up our coats (aye-aye!)
Until we sail again!

Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is all right with me!
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!

Yar har, wind at your back, lads,
Wherever you go!

Blue sky above and blue ocean below,
You are a pirate!
You are a pirate!

Who's that short man what does he do?
He killed that monkey with his shoe!
Why that monkey? Why his boot?
'Cause he had a belly full of loot!

The monkey needs his damn revenge!
That poor creature we'll avenge!

Midget Saw, a deadly fate
Chopped up limbs become shark bait
Midget Saw, the pirate's code
It says that both your legs must go
Chopped to pieces
Ripped to shreds
You're gonna wish that you were dead!

Grab him by his manky hair
And strap him to that table there
This pirate's not gonna walk again
He's in for a world of nasty pain!

Slap that midget with an oar
Remove his legs with a saw!

Midget Saw, a deadly fate
Chopped up limbs become shark bait
Midget Saw, the pirate's code
It says that both your legs must go
Chopped to pieces
Ripped to shreds
You're gonna wish that you were dead!

Midget Saw, a deadly fate
Chopped up limbs become shark bait
Midget Saw, the pirate's code
It says that both your legs must go
Chopped to pieces
Ripped to shreds
You're gonna wish that you were dead!