Somebody once told him the world was gonna roll him
That he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb
With her finger and her thumb
in the shape of an "L" on her forehead

But they years started coming and they didn't stop coming
He was back to the pitch and he hit the ground runn'n
It didn't make sense not to smash for fun
His plays got smart but his rolls got dumb
So much to see so much to foul so what wrong with making a gob toss?
You'll never cuck if you don't go
You'll never bomb if you don't blow

Hey now your a big guy (4u), get your game on, don't dumb
Hey now your a meme star, toss a goblin, don't eat
And all that Glitters is memes,
only cuckholds make winning teams.

Fully capable of spinning your nat 1s into nat 1-reroll-nat 1s
Many wonder if he's dumb because he's so hungry or hungry because he is so dumb. Its a real mystery, especially when he refuses to throw the goblin because he wants a snack, and then forgets he needs to bite into the goblin to eat him.

Notable Meals on the Pitch:
-Roughgut Grom, A Chaos Ogre whos arms were surprisingly smooth for the trolls gut

A gallent, if mislead, (k)Night Goblin.

The result of a terrible warpstone fire, Tumblrina was for ever changed that day. "Xe" as they liked to be called took on a far more liberal view, and prides xeirselfs ability to kill "privilaged white gutter runners" like Paul Owen. However if xe is asked about why xe hasn't scored despite being the pogo, xe will say you are "stunty shaming" xir.

Xir is hated by the rest of the team and coach, and would have been sacked/killed/eaten some time a go were xir not so unsavory and not the only one with a po-go stick and none of the lads have been able to snatch it off xir or find a clever enough way to get them killed.

Can show you a whole new world of self explosions.

A youthful Gobbo who loves to get fouls "just right"

Another goblin in the warpstone fire incendent, but less of an absoulte cunt. Ebin-derella is something of an oddity and shunned by the lads, but is still the coaches favorite and often sports the glass cleats he gave her for fouling

This player doesn't like talking about how he got his team name

Born for leadership has joined to get in the house. Also related to a skilled shaman

I'd write his backstory but it would take too long and I'm not wearing a sweater