chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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 Posted:
Aug 01, 2004 - 16:54 |
 
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Well Joe, it looks like I was so keen on this report I posted it twice!
Irite Stuff here with another interview with Coach Chunknanimous.
IS: So Coach, tell us a bit about the gameplan going into this game.
Chunk: There bloody well wasn't one! We thought we were going to be playing some damnable Chaos Dwarfs who never showed, and then we were rushed into this matchup with the Orcs. It's a bloodt conspiracy I tells you!
As to the match, we were damned lucky those Orcs seemed to want to smack our players heads in a bit much, not that you can blame them. Fortunately for us, they weren't particularly successful, and their obsession gave us a few openings we really didn't deserve after one of our typically soft performances. |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Aug 13, 2004 - 17:39 |
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<Theme song and opening credits for Channel BB!'s long running prize winning BloodBowl reporting show Talking BloodBowl!>
HI! This is Bob Borc here,your first and favourite Channel BB! reporter, winner of the coveted Bloodied Knuckles Journalism Award two years running. We have a great show tonight for you all.
After much discussion in the highest offices of SWL House the draw for the new season, Season 6 is beginning to emerge with the new Regional Divisions and the junior development league The Little League both getting off to a strong start. The final rounds of The Gentlemens Picnic are coming up and we will preview these crucial games tonight on Talking BloodBowl!
<ad break, then return to the studio and Bob Borc's seamless, unwrinkled smiling face, you gotta love Botox huh?>
Well its the Semi Finals of the picnic and its been a long hard lunch time for these four remaining teams. They have put in and played 'ard
First up we look at the Southside Stone Smashers v's Prince Reagents Semi Final.
The Smashers have had their usual solid performances to get them to this point in the Picnic. These 13 stout dwarves have stared down and beaten some tough opponents with good solid performances. They go into the semi with not a single member of their lineup carrying an injury and look to have a hitting game that few other teams can match. But this is BloodBowl and whilst the Fans love to see sprays of it flying everywhere and these lads have delivered in the past in vast quantites it scoring that wins the trophies and the Smashers may be a little too dour and stocky for their opponents the....
Prince Reagents have had a marvellous run throught the picnic with strong and convincing wins at all stages, whilst only 12 men strong they have shown a remarkable propensity to avoid hurt on a large scale. They are carrying a couple of worrying injuries , I expoect though that they will try to use their superior mobility to stay out of the dwarves clutches as much as possible and try to get as much time with the inflated pigs bladder as they can.
If the Reagents can play a good game of keepings off they should walk away with a win, if they fail to avoid matchups with the dwarves of the smashers that will let them lay in and maybe, Nuffle forbid, avoid having to use the services of their team surgeon for at least the first half they should see themselves well informed of this. I am going to put the Reagents as up by one at full time and thereby give em the Borc's Kiss of Death!
After this break for some affilaite news and local channel announcement's we will preview the 2nd Semi Final...
< fade to graphic, then ad's, then bring the studio up and once again gaze on the youthful face of Bob Borc>
Hi Folks if you have joined us this is our picnic semi finals, coming up in the next few days, and let us move on to the 2nd match up ...
Black Crowes V's I-House Semi Final sees these two teams pitted against each other for the fourth time in their careers, witha record between them of 1/1/1 we are expecting a tight and fierce game out of this semi final.
The Black Crowes have had a good run through the picnic getting the score on the board but they go into the I House game carrying several injuries and missing two solid players. They have shown they can bash, ball and take it on home. With a full and experienced roster the Crowes will still have a lot of depth going into this game...
I-House have had a long tough and hard slog through the preliminaries facing and defeating some tough sides. All of this has had a tough toll on the team but they appear to be in good spirits and have trained well this week and are firing and ready to go. I like I -House style and never say never attitude.
With both sides recently being able to hold there own in the blocking and grinding stakes this ones going to come downs to how well they move the Ball around, but i think that I-House will win this one and head to the finals by a single Touch Down.
Both games promise to be right crackers and well worth the watch so buy your tickets now!
Our Magazine Cover Story for tonight is the reaction to this seasons draw and we will cross now to our panel discussion....
<Fade from Studio> |
_________________
"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Aug 15, 2004 - 13:01 |
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Regionals B(est not to be bashy?) has kicked off with quite a bit of drama that wasn't expected in just the second match of the round between Snorri's Krasherz and JoeKano's Beasts of Bowl. Down to the line with the Beast's favourite journo Bob Borc (no self-respecting orc has yet stepped forward to do some journo'ing for the misnomered Krasherz!) for more details!
Bob: Well today it looks as if we're going to hear from the Krasherz' mighty little goober Kami - he doesn't seem too keen on letting anyone else jump in, let alone queue up behind him!
Kami:Flamin' softie blobs of protoplasm! Nary a single scary mofo on that field - apart from yours truly of course! What an embarrassing disgrace. That game was softer than the extra padding the donuts boyz seem to be carrying around!
Bob: But it was a good win, no?
Kami: Ya call that a win? Not a single hurt in the entire game! Nill all - zip. Cept for the one the fans caused. Congratz to da fanz on a good win! But da most depressing thing is the boyz game seems to be infecting the other ladz in the region. Even the Beasts' ogre when not bein a bonehead could only manage to sit down da back making passes to his pet cows.
Bob: So where to from now?
Kami: I dunno. I thought the ladz were catching on after that whoppa of a game against the Duke's boyz. Now - how do I convince da fanz we're truly green! Might have to whack some sense into da coach. |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Aug 16, 2004 - 10:26 |
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Irite Stuff here as the celebrations following I-House's dramatic ascension to Picnic winners are in full swing!
In an outstanding double-header here at Boutin Stadium, I-House knocked off it's old rivals the Black Crowes and the Southside Stone Smashers to lay claim to the title!
In the first match, the heated rivalry between the Crowes and I-House continued, but it seemed something was missing. Despite a dominating first half, the Crowes were unable to do any significant damage on I-House, and I-House likewise failed to administer any fatal kickings. It seemed the mad scrambling pace of the match had meant the passion of the players was expressed in desperate last ditch efforts rather than powerful blitzes. I-House returned fire in the second half, some timely KO's paving the way for a TD halfway through the second half. It would all come down to the last drive it seemed, would either team manage to take advantage and win, or would I-House see their stamina tested in yet another overtime game. A crucial handling error by the Crowes gave I-House the crack of light they needed, and I-House promptly burst through to secure the victory, but were sobered by the news that they would be facing their nemesis, the Southside Stone Smashers, the only team to have beaten I-House on multiple occasions.
After resting and recuperating, I-House were nervous but confident in the rareified air of the Picnic Final. In one of the stories that will be recounted while ever SWL exists, I-House finally lived up to their own press clippings. The Smashers had defeated I-House on both of their two previous meetings, playing almost flawless, mistake free Blood Bowl. Under the bright lights of the Picnic final however, they finally lost their composure, and a series of handling errors allowed I-House, buoyed by their string of strong victories in a slew of blockbuster matches, finally held their nerve to take the title.
I am informed I have once again secured an interview with Coach Chunknanimous folks.
IS: Coach, after all you have been through with this team, how does it feel to finally see them live up to the potential many have been predicting for so long.
Chunk: I really am lost for words. Did you see that final game? Finally, it's like all the beatings and sledging I've indulged in with this team has paid off. They finally stuck around to mix it up with those Dwarfs, you could see they wanted it out there today, they were dropping like flies and still they kept getting stuck here. Even Axe got in there this time, he was glorious, smacked two off those Dwarfs so hard they won't even know what happened till next week. Of course that's only made him more popular, and he's had it put in his contract that he can miss one game every 6 now, but he finally showed us something on the pitch rather than off it. It's amaxing, it's just...... <breaks into tears>..... I'm sorry Irite, but I just...this... <Coach Chunknamnimous heads off towards the bar, trying to hide his crying>
Well folks a very emotional Coach Chunknanimous there, quite understandable considering the history of this team however. We know now go to MVP of the Picnic Final Camo II, for an update on the future of this team.
IS: Well Camo, how do you think this victory bodes for the future of this team? I hear you've got the play the Dastardly Dwarfs later this week.
Camo: Wooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! Who cares Urite Stuff it up yer bum or whatever your name is, we just won the bloody picnic! I don't give a toss who we've got later on in the week, or what happens in the Conference League, this is what we all play Blood Bowl for, and it seems silly to me to not enjoy it and party like a madman when it happens! Stuff the Dastardly Dwarfs, stuff with spatulas and donkeys and whipped cream for all I care! We are the champs! <Walks off toward the cheerleaders with a lascivious grin on his face>
Irite Stuff: Well there you have it viewers, it certainly seems as though there taking those Dwarfs far too casually at the moment, it's sure to be an interesting match! |
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chunky - you are eloquence on legs |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Aug 16, 2004 - 11:41 |
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<b>Southern Waste League VI – Premier Division Preview</b>
<i>as told by Mr Whippy, Chairman of Mr Whippy’s Donut Boys and Official League Hanger-on-erer</i>
Well, here we are… the league has gone through a massive realignment and expansion and we are now set for the largest season ever!
137 teams of all races, creeds and colour line up to participate in the Southern Wastes League! Unbelievable!
Six seasons ago, 13 teams lined up and now we have 10 fold that number and we culminate in the biggest extravaganza of Blood Bowl that the Southern Wastes are unlikely to see again.
With that many teams, it is impossible to review each teams chances. Some teams we just don’t care about much, others the public waits with baited breath to find out the latest gossip.
For example, the <b>Premier Division</b>, the one that truly counts, appears to be a very tight race. Last year, the Blue Mountain Dragons stormed to the title but this year, the Zen Adepts will be screaming to reclaim what the believe is rightfully theirs. Overall the division is an attractive one with the addition of two Lizard teams and the old stayers of the passing game the Maniac Mammallians II and the relative new, but equally adept Prince Reagents and the Lords of War.
The big news of course this week is that Carlton United have been rocked by the injury to team captain Duke Snakefield is has a sore groin (*snigger*) and will miss the opening day of the season!
Overall, I believe the title will come from one of either the Blue Mountain Dragons or the Zen Adepts with pressure from the two Lizard representatives the Slumbering Skink and the Warlizards.
Good luck to all teams! All 137 of you! |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Aug 16, 2004 - 18:25 |
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Hi! Bob Borc reporting again for Channel BB!
Well the qualifying pool is underway again with some of our old favourites once more putting in and some new faces entering the league.
The ever redoubtable rotundly reliable Mr Whippy's Donut Boyshave once again stepped forward in their league development role and commenced he season with a gruelling draw, aaah the smell of fresh donuts in the morning. it wouldn't be the qualifiers without em.
Two of the more interesting New teams to answer the call and take the first big step on the ladder to premier this season are the Picanic Munchers and the Counts of the Southern Wastes and lets all give em a hearty and rousing welcome.
This reporter will be watching closely the Snake Skins this season who kicked off in there qualifier debut with a solid 2-1 win and I will also be keeping an eye on Hells Gatekeepers who with a couple of stunning victories already look to be a team t watch.............
Never discount the quality of the games in the Pool ladies and gentlemen for these are where the stars of the future in the SWL will be coming from.............. |
_________________
"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Aug 17, 2004 - 01:03 |
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An Announcement from Mr Whippy, Chairman of Mr Whippy's Donut Boys.
It is with great sadness that team management have to break the news that star halfling Isumbras Underhill has announced his plans to retire.
Regrettfully, salary cap pressures plus a string of niggling injuries have resulted in the sad fact that Isumbras will be retiring after the Donut Boy's next match.
Isumbras has been a champion for the cause and he will be greatly missed. I encourage all Donut fans to attend our next match in to say farewell to this great champion of the game.
Regards,
Mr Whippy
Career Stats: Isumbras Underhill. Games: 31*, Touchdowns 27, Casualties 2, MVP's 1, SPP's: 90.
<b>Records</b>
#1 SPP Earner in Tournament Play for Halflings (Div [U])
#1 TD Scorer in Tournament Play for Halflings (Div [U])
#5 Highest Scoring Halfling of All Time (all divisions)! |
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andycapp
Joined: May 26, 2004
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 Posted:
Aug 17, 2004 - 01:48 |
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| ClayInfinity wrote: | | It is with great sadness that team management have to break the news that star halfling Isumbras Underhill has announced his plans to retire. |
Well, even the 'ard Orcs of Wanna Beatin may even be sorry to see this true champion leave the field.
We played the Donut Boys in our very first game, and Isumbras even scored their team's TD AND avoided the carnage  .
I am paying credit where credit is due - this guy forms part of a team that is an icon in the SWL QPool arenas.
May he continue to hold the Halfling records until a worthy member of the Donut Boys takes his place! |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Aug 17, 2004 - 07:48 |
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...flash to a quick news erm flash...
A handcrafted pattern for Sandune's special squad of Vampy's to paint on their pitches has just come in!
Special courtesy of the gorgeous green momma of Karaz Krasherz' favourite twins, Kami and Kazi.
<img src="http://members.optusnet.com.au/stonierd/violin.jpg"/>
A flurry of irrepressibly naked green streaks across the screen, and makes off with the pattern!
Bob Borc: Well folks, I suspect you have gotten your first close up...too close...of the little goober Kami! Though it was hard to tell - have to suspect he's made off with it to stir up his boyz! |
Last edited by Snorri on %b %17, %2004 - %16:%Aug; edited 1 time in total |
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Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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Aug 17, 2004 - 16:14 |
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Bone Breaking News!
The iron men of last seasons qualifying pool have made a return to the pool to help induct some of the new coaches to the toughest league around,The southern Wastes League.
That's right bowl fans,the Angry Asgardians are once more smashing everything in their path in their quest to make the regional divisions.
With star blitzer Lars Nielson retiring after playing his last game in the Gentlemen's Picnic,Coach Toonie was not sure how the boys would go in there first outing for the new season.
They matched themselves up against Jacks Boozers,a dorf team coached by one of the new coaches Annachie.
The Asgardians lost the toss and kicked off.But their fans overjoyed to see their heroes take the pitch again invaded the pitch stunning 2 dorfs,ko'ing 2 and seriously injuring another,which had the Boozers Apothacery repairing the damage.The dorfs shocked by what had happened didn't do much except gather up the ball.taking advantage of their crowds handiwork,the Asgardians swarmed on the remaining dorfs knocking down whoever was in the road to get to the ball.Kirk Ulrich,a sturdy lineman smashed Axebreaker Smith so hard that the dorf was stretchered off the field with a eye dangling out of his socket.
Mighty Tauros,the Asgardian's minotaurlooking for something to crush,saw the ball lying on the ground,picked it up in his mighty hand,saw the line and ran in the first touch down of the match.
With 3 of the dwarfs still in the ko box fearing to get back on the pitch,the Boozers were outnumbered greatly for the next kickoff.They failed to do much but push a couple of the norse around and gather the ball.The Asgardians dropped the dwarfs on the line and Hans Mordenson got to the ballcarrier Bugman the skuller and hurt him badly with a well executed block.Sigurd Nielson followed up by gathering up the crumbs from Han's work and ran in the second td.
With the half nearly over there wasn't a chance the dwarfs could score from the next kickoff,but the norse did not ease up.Surrounding the Boozers and making sure all their men were covered.The only surviving dwarf runner on the pitch Hrak Brak paniced and tried to dodge through a couple of the norse defenders,tripped and broke his jaw when he landed on his face.The whistle to end the first half must of been a welcome sound to the dwarves.
The Asgardians started dropping the dwarfs on the line from the kickoff in the second half,Giving catcher,Horst Gutomir time to gather the ball.But Horst fumbling the ball gave the dwarfs time to make progress up the middle and put pressure on him.During this time Orcas the brave managed to hurt Ulthor Larrson reducing the Asgardians to 10 men for the remainder of the match.Reacting quickly to the pressure put on by the Boozers,Kirk Ulrich and blitzer Boromir Fhenrir stopped the advancing dorfs,letting Horst gather the ball and start his way upfield with it.A troll slayer from the Boozers tried to get to Horst but was stopped by a gutsy diving tackle from Hans Mordenson allowing Horst to run in the Asgardians third td.
From the next kickoff troll slayer Gibak troll cutter tried to make a break down the sideline with the ball,but blitzer Boromir forced him to the sideline where Siegfried Sorenson knocked him into the crowd resulting in the troll slayer being torn to pieces by the frenzied Asgardian fans.The norse pinned the dwarfs in to the centre of the field but there was not enough time left for either team to score.
So when the final siren went the score was 3-0 in the Asgardian's favor.A wonderful performance in their comeback match and a taste of what the SWL is all about to the Boozers.
So all you coaches out there better watch out for the iron men of the qualifying pool. |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Aug 18, 2004 - 01:06 |
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<b>Mr Whippy's Donut Boys</b> have played another match and recorded a fine victory against <b>Sewer Pipe Dream</b> to send star fling Isumbras Underhill off to the retirement village...
Read all about it here |
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SonofSharkboy
Joined: Feb 04, 2004
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Aug 20, 2004 - 09:04 |
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Jack Blood here for Inside Bloodbowl with another great rivalry meeting head to head for the third time. Despite the Western Sydney Wonders' best efforts, they seem to start every season in the company of Skonos' Iridine Gladiators. We managed a quick word with MVP for the game, Crush!
[Jack] So tell us Crush, this is a huge rivalry! How'd the Wonders manage to pull a win off this time?
[Crush] Well Jack, to be honest, it looked like almost a third of their team was missing from the previous match where a tough orc team managed to bang them up good! Also, one of their better beastmen had an old footy injury act up and so couldn't take to the pitch.
[Jack] Did the team come out with a strategy in mind to win?
[Crush] Frankly the Gladiators made a bold move deciding to kick to us. If they'd been at full strength it just may have worked well! As it was, they almost kept our catchers out of the endzone. I think our guys got a little cocky and forgot it wasn't gobbos we were facing but a strong Rotter squad!
[Jack] Tell our viewers about your key roll earning you the MVP for this match?
[Crush] I did what I do best Jack, heh. Went out on the line and stood before their big guys and just let 'em rip into me. I'd say five or six times they kicked the snot out of me, once I seem to recall waking up in the dugout! I swore just a second before I was staring up at one of those large rotters. In the end it was my ability to stand up, and my guts to just stand there and keep our key position guys safe that really helped out the team. *high-fives passing teammate*
[Jack] Ahh yes *cough* right, well thanks again for your time and enjoy the rest of your season *bites knuckle and slowly turns back to the camera wincing*
Well there you have it folks! This first round win puts the Western Sydney Wonders temporarily at the top in the SouthWest Conference. But with only two games played, weeeeeeeeeee're just gettin started!!!!!! I'm Jack Blood, and that's just where the pain starts!! Back to you Bob ... |
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SonofSharkboy
Joined: Feb 04, 2004
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Aug 20, 2004 - 10:37 |
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oooh! Post number 100! ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ (up there)
*static flies across your screen for a second* |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Aug 21, 2004 - 07:40 |
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Picanic Munchers Forget To Bring The Donuts!
In a SWL QPool boilover, Mr Whippy's Donut Boys ran rings around the hulking Picanic Munchers in a 7 to 1 thumping
Amazing stuff as the Donuts displayed poise, grace, and big pot bellys in "icing" the hungry Munchers...
Chairman Whippy was most impressed by the team effort. "We shared the scores around and we shared the win and now we're sharing the Donuts! Care for a choc-ice?" |
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XZCion
Joined: Jul 05, 2004
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Aug 22, 2004 - 15:55 |
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Other Small Green Ones take the Lead in Div 2 of Lil Leeg!!!
Smokey McPot here from the sidelines of the just completed Ze Gnomes of Zurich, OSGO game! In a very soggy and wet game, the skinks have managed to do enough damage to their opponents to take a one point lead over their Division rivals, the Halflings of Darksun heading into the final matches of the season!
The flings and the skinks will be swapping opponents for this last round, with the Darksun going up against the Tinkerers, and OSGO lining up against Da Cheet, who conceeded their match to the Darksun.
Will the flings from Darksun be able to secure a stunning victory, and the Division title? Will OSGO maintain their narrow lead? Can the pygmies from the Wee Tang Clan storm home with two games to play and steal the Division from the two undefeated teams?
The answers when the games are played folks! |
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