Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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 Posted:
Jan 22, 2005 - 13:28 |
 
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We have a quick scribble here from Bob Borc, who's just thrown his gobbo sidekick and journo team mate all the way from the land of the Kim Chi Monster (Korea).
"Da Latest News! Da Twahnlow, Mr Lord Malice is ded! (slight gap in the message where Bob's obviously taken time out for a belly laugh at an elf's tragic misfortune - he hasn't worked out yet that you dont actually need to leave a gap when you've taken time out in writing a note) Oh and done in by an ignobble skelly on the line! Be intewesting to see who steps up for the award dis season."
| Quote: | | Did the ghost of Twahnlow whisper a curse into the shadows as he departed? |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Jan 25, 2005 - 12:43 |
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Assistant coach Kami caught in the act of yet another headbanging session...Stompa da troll would probably have a headache on the morrow if only his 'ead wasn't made of rock.
"Lads, lads, lads. When are ya ever going to learn about taktics? And I dont mean dodging out and running 'eadlong down the field like an elf, only to leave Kon da thrower to look after the ball while facing off half a dozen saurii! What tis it wif da elf loonacies? Yeah, we love elfs, we love *bashin* elves! Fullstop! And no more +AG's on a limbersome troll! Git your spelling right Stompa - it's lumbersome yer supposed to be, not limbersome!".
Rant finished, Kami went and found a relaxing bar room brawl to start. As far as rants went, that was a chilled out rant for Kami. No broken bones. Maybe he was gettin soft. But then again, maybe not - they did actually manage a pretty good game apart from that one play. Very exciting start to the premiers and a good warmup all in all!
Karaz Krashers 2 - 2 Warlizards |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Jan 28, 2005 - 14:29 |
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<SWL_Bob_Borc> Welcome Fans to Season 8 Round 2 of the Premier!! First game of the round, and the first of our late night special live called games for the season is Wicker Men vs Karaz Krasherz
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Joining me tonight is guest commentator DaemonicLazoth
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Hi DaemonicLazoth
<DaemonicLazoth> Thank you this should be an intresting match
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Two of the heavy weights of Premier facing off tonight
<SWL_Bob_Borc> the much fancied and powerful Karaz Krasherz
<DaemonicLazoth> oh and there has been a technical problem
<SWL_Bob_Borc> what problem would that be DaemonicLazoth?
<DaemonicLazoth> snorri hasnt updated to the current version of 8.2b
<SWL_Bob_Borc> aaah i see a disagreement over the current rulebook printing
<SWL_Bob_Borc> always controversial
<SWL_Bob_Borc> a trap there for an unwary coach.
<DaemonicLazoth> Coach Snorri doing a bit of quick reading to catch up
<SWL_Bob_Borc> well in the meantime how about we continue with a preview of these two sides.
<SWL_Bob_Borc> what are your thoughts on the Wickermens chances here Dae?
<DaemonicLazoth> the Krasherz looking pretty strong here with only a Black Orc Blocker missing the game after a nasty "accident" on the field last week
<SWL_Bob_Borc> aah i think we have the teams coming out on to the field now so we will switch to our live Cabalvision Feed...
<DaemonicLazoth> the wickermen having won the toss have elected to recieve
<SWL_Bob_Borc> I notice Bomba and Kazi II are out for the Krashers whilst the Wickermen have their full roster today, do you think the depth of the Wickermens roster is going to count today Dae?
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Heres the Kick!!!
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and the crowd have swarmed the field
<DaemonicLazoth> stunning a key Blocker
<SWL_Bob_Borc> looks like the crowd were looking to ensure a clean game and took down several rather nefariously reputationed players...
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and joining us today is as well is Karl_Christenson
<DaemonicLazoth> oh and the first foul gives us a fractued arm
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Bombastik off the field,
<DaemonicLazoth> Bombastik is out for the rest of the match and next weeks match
<SWL_Bob_Borc> he didn't look so good there Karl..
<Karl_Christenson> hi Bob and DaemonicLazoth
<Karl_Christenson> no he doesn't
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and Venetia Nola Fumbles the grab on the ball spilling it loose
<Karl_Christenson> one of the strengths of this Wickermen side is their mulitude of dirty players
<DaemonicLazoth> indeed
<DaemonicLazoth> Red Streek running down field
<Karl_Christenson> expect to see plenty of greenskins in the injury box today
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Red Streek goes deep looks like the Krashers are going to try one of their patented Elf inspired plays to clear the ball and send it down the field
<DaemonicLazoth> Bonza delivers a stunning hit to Airell
<Karl_Christenson> Rock'ead II with a useful blitz there taking Briana Ardrason away from the play
<Karl_Christenson> and Red Noggin showing some elf-like skills there gathering up the ball
<DaemonicLazoth> and his looking for a clear pass to Red Streek
<SWL_Bob_Borc> oooh
<SWL_Bob_Borc> he fumbles the ball
<SWL_Bob_Borc> grounding it in front of Tremayne and Nola of the Wickermen
<Karl_Christenson> better with his feet than his hands it seems
<SWL_Bob_Borc> And Bongo is grounded by Breandan and Tremayne sweeps Rock'ead away from the ball..
<DaemonicLazoth> and its cleaned up by Venetia Nola
<SWL_Bob_Borc> only just looked a little unsteady still there.. good recovery though
<Karl_Christenson> and Venetia has taken shelter behind Breasal
<DaemonicLazoth> and a nice hit by Gimp floors Briana Ardrason
<Karl_Christenson> and if the crafty ghoul get's a clear run to the line we'll see the Wickermen put the first points on the board
<Karl_Christenson> Queer comes to give Stompa a few words of advice
<Karl_Christenson> and he takes notice by knocking Catbad prone
<SWL_Bob_Borc> They will have to scramble to cover Nola, the way is still clear there for the wickermen to go up on the board
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Red Noggin covers Nola, Streek goes for the hit
<Karl_Christenson> Red Streek trips on the blitz
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and Stumbles at the last
<DaemonicLazoth> And finds a spare rib cage left by the wickermen
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Tremayne again clears a hole for Nola
<Karl_Christenson> well Bob, do you think the Krasherz have done enough to cover their opponents here?
<SWL_Bob_Borc> its still early in the Half Karl they are all still fresh for the most part and still scrambling
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and Ulason lays in the boot for little effect, the ref called him but Coach Covertfun has harangued the ref into reversing the decision
<DaemonicLazoth> Oh some hot words there after that foul
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and Nola goes down
<SWL_Bob_Borc> on the dodge spilling the ball free
<SWL_Bob_Borc> looks like that answers your question Karl
<DaemonicLazoth> and Queer fails to clean up the ball
<SWL_Bob_Borc> that could be a costly error ...
<Karl_Christenson> leaving the door still open for the Undead
<Karl_Christenson> Sven knocks out Gimp!
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and the Orc kicker gimp is taken from the field for a nice lie down
<Karl_Christenson> the numbers for the orcs are starting to dwindle here
<DaemonicLazoth> yes it appers as though they may have to pull something extraordinary here
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Nola Dodges, fades in grabs the ball..
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and trips
<Karl_Christenson> and again Nola falls on the dodge out
<DaemonicLazoth> tripped up by Queer
<DaemonicLazoth> Bongo gives Sven Christenson some revenge hitting and also a nice rest
<Karl_Christenson> Sven out for the rest of the drive
<SWL_Bob_Borc> looks like the Krasherz are digging deep now Karl
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Ulason is hurt on the blitz
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and fails to rejoin the team hes out for the game
<SWL_Bob_Borc> And again Queer drops the ball
<DaemonicLazoth> And an almight hit form Breasal Breandan floors Bonza for the game
<DaemonicLazoth> We have players falling left right and centre here folks
<Karl_Christenson> and don't the crowd love it
<DaemonicLazoth> they certainly do
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Bad ball handling is costing both these teams so far tonight
<Karl_Christenson> and now the Wickermen have changed tactics and are getting players in around the ball
<Karl_Christenson> trying to apply a little prssure on the orcs
<SWL_Bob_Borc> When a troll gets an idea in mind he just won't let it go
<DaemonicLazoth> Stompa winding up for the hit and gives Cathbad a thump on the head
<Karl_Christenson> seems to be getting personal between those 2
<DaemonicLazoth> stunning the zombie
<DaemonicLazoth> indeed but who will come off 2nd best
<DaemonicLazoth> Tanguy Tremayne saved by block skill.
<DaemonicLazoth> Redd'n Roll'n
<SWL_Bob_Borc> pulls off a risky double play
<DaemonicLazoth> Tanguy and Redd'n both clash heads and other then giving each other slight head aches nothing happens
<SWL_Bob_Borc> without upset
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and Queer makes the hit on tremayne
<DaemonicLazoth> sending him to kiss the dirt
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Rock'ead goes deep to receive
<Karl_Christenson> looks like Rock'ead is clearing out leaving Bongo to hold off the 2 mummies
<SWL_Bob_Borc> His team don't even have the ball yet
<DaemonicLazoth> Oh we have orcs falling down all over the place
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Some stunning play from Beeandan and Fenella
<SWL_Bob_Borc> allows Ardrason to sweep the ball and score!!
<DaemonicLazoth> Briana Ardrason puts the first point on the board for the wickermen
<Karl_Christenson> yes some nice work there by the wight
<DaemonicLazoth> Sven awakes for his nap ready to start the 2nd drive of the half
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Gimp musta got lucky and found the fluffy pillow
<Karl_Christenson> Leaving his team short handed
<SWL_Bob_Borc> The two team reset for the restart...
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Krasherz to receive...
<SWL_Bob_Borc> its a wobbly kick bu it stays in..
<Karl_Christenson> well that was different to the normal style played by the Wickermen
<DaemonicLazoth> Redd'n gives Moyna Gitta a uppercut that leaves him out like a light
<Karl_Christenson> not the usual stall and foul tactic that they have made their own
<DaemonicLazoth> Konondrum effortlessly scoops up the ball
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and it seems Konumdrum has steadier hands than limp wristed Queer.....
<SWL_Bob_Borc> And Breandan drops the Red Streek face first inna turf
<SWL_Bob_Borc> hes off for the game
<Karl_Christenson> this is quickly turning into a war of attrition with the Krasherz on the losing end
<SWL_Bob_Borc> not a place they are used to being...
<DaemonicLazoth> perhaps they are suffering for elven fragilty
<SWL_Bob_Borc> well the side effects of elven hormone abuse are well documented Dae, could we be seeing some of that here today?
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Queer goes to dodge clear!
<SWL_Bob_Borc> hes down
<SWL_Bob_Borc> wait
<SWL_Bob_Borc> hes not moving
<SWL_Bob_Borc> oh nuffle say it isn't so!!
<DaemonicLazoth> wait the medical staff are rushing to his side
<Karl_Christenson> oh that was a nasty fall there
<DaemonicLazoth> I dont think he survived that
<SWL_Bob_Borc> i don't think there much they can do Karl
<Karl_Christenson> Snorri has called them back
<SWL_Bob_Borc> well his head has come off the field but we will need to wait for a stretcher to clear the rest
<DaemonicLazoth> It is a sad day for the Krasherz here today with the passing of Queer
<Karl_Christenson> but they have hit back
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Its fired these lads up
<DaemonicLazoth> Rock'aed II scoring the equaliser
<Karl_Christenson> some nice blocking there opens the way for Rock'ead II to score
<SWL_Bob_Borc> off a superb konumdrum pass
<Karl_Christenson> and now the undead players are slumbering in the dugout
<SWL_Bob_Borc> well its almost half time so we will replace one of our callers here in the booth
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Welcome Xanatos
<SWL_Bob_Borc> bye bye DaemonicLazoth
<Karl_Christenson> and what an exciting match we have here
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Thank you
<Karl_Christenson> this has got me thinking Bob, do undead sleep?
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Apperntly so with 3 players still snoozing
<SWL_Bob_Borc> thats liking asking if Androids dream of electric sheep Karl, bit pointless and whats an Android anyway?
<Xanatos_Axhorn> I think its some fancy dwarven machine
<Karl_Christenson> can't say i ever heard of an android
<Karl_Christenson> never really hang out with dwarves
<Xanatos_Axhorn> The only time I meet them is on the field
<Xanatos_Axhorn> whether its the battle field or the pitch
<Xanatos_Axhorn> after some minor delays the Wickermen are coming out for the 2nd half
<Karl_Christenson> the only good dorf is a dead one
<Karl_Christenson> well we are just about to get the second half underway
<Karl_Christenson> and the Krasherz get the jump on their opponents with a quick snap
<Karl_Christenson> a lot of pushing happening on the los
<Xanatos_Axhorn> gimp moving to give stompa instructions
<Xanatos_Axhorn> but he doesnt listen
<Karl_Christenson> not a wise move by Stompa there
<Xanatos_Axhorn> a female troll in the crowd grabbing his attention
<Karl_Christenson> here comes the counterattack by the Wickermen
<Karl_Christenson> Ardrason brings down Buttsnot
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Landthar covering Rock'ead II
<Xanatos_Axhorn> well the wickermen have the orcs nicely tied up
<SWL_Bob_Borc> And Stompa is still watchin that female troll
<Karl_Christenson> yes things are getting messy on the los now
<SWL_Bob_Borc> he must be really taken
<Xanatos_Axhorn> He must really be intrested in her
<Karl_Christenson> Coach snorri doesn't seem impressed by the troll's antics
<Xanatos_Axhorn> She is wearing the latest fling fashion
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and considering the game breandan is having it could cost him mightily
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Breasal trips Gimp on his dodge out
<Karl_Christenson> and the failure by the orcs to ground their opposition cold end up being costly here
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Looks like Konumdrum could have his hands full in a moment and no one to dump off too
<Xanatos_Axhorn> and Donia delivers stunning blow to Bongo
<Karl_Christenson> he really has been left out in the cold by his team mates
<Xanatos_Axhorn> gave him a kick in the groin
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Nola Blitzes Konumdrum pushing him back towards his own TD line
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Nola driving konumdrum back
<Karl_Christenson> a brave move by the ghoul there
<SWL_Bob_Borc> a bit in your face but he's feeling cocky, hes had a good game so far..
<Xanatos_Axhorn> looks like stompa has gathered his wits back into the game now
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Rod Noggin flooring Sven
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Konumdrum dodges clear...
<SWL_Bob_Borc> but no pass
<Xanatos_Axhorn> and decides not to pass
<Karl_Christenson> surprising that
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Redd'n driving Cathbad back
<Karl_Christenson> he has Red Noggin in range to dump off to though
<Xanatos_Axhorn> and gimp just recieved a stunning suggestion from Donia
<SWL_Bob_Borc> lot of pushing and shoving ...
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Nola on the running hit..
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Nola going for the blitz
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and skulls out but the ball is thrown clear
<Karl_Christenson> the Wickermen are starting to play man to man defense now
<Xanatos_Axhorn> and leads head first into the orc brickwall
<Karl_Christenson> Stompa with another ineffective block there
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Konondrum going for the pass and neatly caught by buttsnot
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Konundrumsteps up recovers, passes..its good to ButtSnot
<Karl_Christenson> nice gather and pass by Konundrum to Buttssnott
<Xanatos_Axhorn> thats his 2nd completion this game
<Karl_Christenson> who races clear down the field
<Xanatos_Axhorn> fancy footwork by goon see him clear
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Goon moves to cover his run
<SWL_Bob_Borc> followed by Rock'ead
<Karl_Christenson> Cathbad getting some more attention from the orcs
<Xanatos_Axhorn> He must really love it
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Redd down, Fenella in position to put the boot in
<Xanatos_Axhorn> but will he?
<Xanatos_Axhorn> aside from the first 2 fouls we havent seen much fouling
<SWL_Bob_Borc> no he moves to cover the orc wall
<Xanatos_Axhorn> the coachs must be scared of the ref
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Ardrason dodges dodges goes for it and goes down with a ill timed block
<Xanatos_Axhorn> oh and briana hits the orc wall
<SWL_Bob_Borc> failing to take out the ball carrier
<Xanatos_Axhorn> buttsnot with a clear run in
<Karl_Christenson> worst looking blitz on a ballcarrier we've seen this game
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Run Lad Run!!
<Xanatos_Axhorn> yes things have started to fall apart for the Wickermen
<Xanatos_Axhorn> and Buttsnot waltz into the end zone
<Karl_Christenson> Buttsnott has broken the deadlock
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and Buttsnot scores to send the Krasherz 2-1 up
<Karl_Christenson> but did he score too early?
<Karl_Christenson> can 9 orcs hold off the undead?
<Xanatos_Axhorn> indeed that is the question
<Xanatos_Axhorn> the orcs are deploying deep to cover any outbreaks
<SWL_Bob_Borc> The Krasherz aren't exactly a brute strength side and have been noted for their ball handling, unusual for a orc side
<SWL_Bob_Borc> the teams line up again wickermen to receive...
<SWL_Bob_Borc> unorthodox formation there..
<SWL_Bob_Borc> heres the Kick!!
<Xanatos_Axhorn> and the crowd go wild
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and the fans are really revved tonight for the Krasherz
<SWL_Bob_Borc> they wanna see their favourite Greenskins win tonight
<Karl_Christenson> and the mummies lead off for the Wickermen bringing 2 orcs down
<SWL_Bob_Borc> coverage formation...
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Buttsnot receiving a nasty thump to the head
<Xanatos_Axhorn> making him see stars
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Nola fumbles the ball...
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Nola failing to pick up the ball
<SWL_Bob_Borc> shocking ball handling tonight
<SWL_Bob_Borc> far too many unforced errors from both these teams
<Xanatos_Axhorn> did someone cover the ball with grease tonight?
<Karl_Christenson> anyone would think they're playing in the rain here
<Xanatos_Axhorn> and Stompa starts drooling at that female troll in the stands
<Xanatos_Axhorn> again
<Karl_Christenson> he really is having a shocker tonight
<Xanatos_Axhorn> both teams are having a shocking game
<SWL_Bob_Borc> I think someone should look into who bought that young lady her ticket for tonights game, might have been something of an underhandedness there eh....
<Xanatos_Axhorn> truely or maybe its the Stompa Fan Club, membership: 1
<Karl_Christenson> and now Red noggin botches that block there,this game is going downhill fast
<Xanatos_Axhorn> a bit of hesitation with the block there
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Nola cleanly picks the ball off the ground
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and moves into deep coverage
<Xanatos_Axhorn> moving into the final stages can the Wickermen pull off a draw?
<SWL_Bob_Borc> with the young lady off to the concession stand Stompa returns to the game
<SWL_Bob_Borc> and covers Breanadan
<SWL_Bob_Borc> is gonna be tight here folks
<SWL_Bob_Borc> can the Wickermen pull offf a draw here
<SWL_Bob_Borc> they have the ball but thats not all...
<Karl_Christenson> the orcs are making a mad scramble to bring there defense together here
<Xanatos_Axhorn> but will it be enough to save them?
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Bongo is looking awfully lonely there surrounded by undead
<Xanatos_Axhorn> gimp scrambles to cover Nola
<Karl_Christenson> and get's into position next to the ghoul
<Xanatos_Axhorn> and a nice hit by Bongo brings Cathbad down
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Donia has Bongo at his mercy or rather the crowds
<SWL_Bob_Borc> no means certain..
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Breandan downs Stompa who gets carted off the field
<Karl_Christenson> Breandan is having a blinder
<SWL_Bob_Borc> mind you is that his lady friend in the dug out...
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Breasal KOs Stompa perhaps maybe that young lady could give specialist attention to him now
<Xanatos_Axhorn> oh and Donia skulls it
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Bongo avoids the grasping crowd
<Karl_Christenson> the tension is building here folks
<SWL_Bob_Borc> i don't like how Tremayne is loose up there in a scoring position...
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Konondrum gives Noland a stunning blow to the jaw
<Xanatos_Axhorn> He would have to scramble for that td
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Goon goes to cover him
<SWL_Bob_Borc> a Green wall of Orc flesh is holding on grimly here
<Karl_Christenson> looks like the only player in scoring range is Tanguy now
<Xanatos_Axhorn> and it maybe enuf to hold the undead away from the equaliser
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Redd'n and buttsnot give extrea coverage for Tanguy
<SWL_Bob_Borc> Breandan to block Gimp
<Karl_Christenson> looks like they'll try and push Nola into scoring range here
<SWL_Bob_Borc> but its still gonna be tight
<SWL_Bob_Borc> its one hell of a small hole
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Nola going for the break out
<SWL_Bob_Borc> he scores
<SWL_Bob_Borc> what a play
<Xanatos_Axhorn> AND SCORES THE EQUALISER
<Karl_Christenson> amazing stuff that!
<SWL_Bob_Borc> its a draw folks
<SWL_Bob_Borc> awesome play there
<Karl_Christenson> caught the orcs unaware
<SWL_Bob_Borc> well we go now to our sidelines reporter Rage Bloodcry for a check on the games injuries.........
<Xanatos_Axhorn> Ahhh Stompa will have a very plesant face to wake up to |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Jan 30, 2005 - 12:06 |
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Crisis In The Blue Mountains
exclusive by Mr Whippy, esquire.
Well Donut lovers, it seems that there is again trouble brewing (and I don't mean the local ale) up at Mt Victorious as the Blue Mountain Dragons have crashed to two heavy defeats in the opening rounds of SWL Season 8.
It appears that the injuries are mounting up and the cash flow is drying up as many norse folk are switching allegience to the new flavours in the Mountains such as the Fyord Frollikars.
Aging team captain of the Dragons, Vladim Oslobahn was asked for comment on the injury crisis and whether the Dragons were a spent force in the SWL.
"Ya vell, tis nicht the best at zee moment, but weev hast the very bezt of confidenze in our coach who vill lead us to glory at seezons end. But ya, the boyz are stretched and weev got zee Zen Adepts next. Zee fans haf too realise dat with just myzelf, Blax und Lapi left from zee Season 1, tis hardz to keeps on da pitch. But vee will try and vee vill see da season out"
But will the Dragons be in the SWL Conference League come Season 9? Will the great players such as Vladim, Blax and Lapi give it away and the team relegate to the QPool?
Only time will tell, but it seems as though the Dragons are well and truly past it folks!
Signing off with a Choc Ice,
Mr Whippy |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jan 31, 2005 - 04:22 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
Welcome to the second issue of the PREMIER EDITION
Holy Hollarin' Horns Herd fans!!! What a game 2 we had here this afternoon! No one on the team was quite sure how to handle the Warlizards...but NO ONE could have predicted THIS outcome. Lizards recieve and sweep with little resistence. In fact Struttin Blues was out (and wondering what happened to his ST) in the first salvo from the tanked up Saurussss. All we could do was roll back and hope. The cold bloods kept flowing forward and suddenly ball lizzie was tucked away safely in the opposite corner just waiting to score an easy TD. The kids did what they could to get over but there was too much space...then...(and I can't be sure of this dear readers) the GREAT UNSEEN must have finally re-joined the squad...for monster Saurus Michael decided to have a crack at Gone before the TD..and double skull/double skull!! It had all the hall marks of the UNSEEN for sure. Taller took his chance (and his Claw) and whacked the ball free and the lizzie from the field. HardToHandle swooped on the ball and returned it a monster 24 squares for TD! 1-0 halftime.
The Saurus must have had a hell of a pep talk as they opened up with a Blitz! Once again the herd were back peddeling. Some clever cover saw MorningSong with the ball..and he hightailed it under scant cover up the sideline. It was tooth and nail as the War machine had a few chances..but it just wasn't enough to stop us. 2-0! One for the record books folks. And BRUTAL to boot! 2 SI's against the kids (apoth the only one NOT doing his job today) but we responded with 5 SI's on them. Serious bizness this Premier div 
As if that wasn't painful enough we face the StoneSmashers next round...makes you want to shiver.
For now though readers we delight in a perfect start to our Premier campaign..until next round!
Black Crowes 2 vs 0 Warlizards |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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Satans_mechanic
Joined: Jul 17, 2004
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 Posted:
Jan 31, 2005 - 14:37 |
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Today coach Stan McKhanic of Southern Conference Stunners Forza Ferrari called a press conference to discuss the recent allegations of nefarious dealings following the mysterious dissappearences of rival teams The Gold Valley Tigers and The Horny Toads.
When questioned about rumours he had been seen in a back alley exchanging an undisclosed sum of Gold Coins with well known Druchii Slave Trader Snorri he had this to say:
"Looks use paper razzi's..... I's an honest man I is and I can't be bein eld accountable when dem woosy woos bag Yoomans n Lizzies see's me team of Dead 'Ard Sorts and flees de Continent now can I? Dat bein said me girls are so dead ard that I reckon we's gonna trounce dem panzy high falootin High Elves in da Lords o' Wart or whatever dey be called, an den, I is 'appy to announce, dat our teams Chief "Negotiata" is moments from securing da services of dat well fit sort Zara da Slaya for when we give them ol rotters Gumbeast United a damn good seeing to"
"Hey uh, off da record mate, ow much to av you shut up bought dis lil misunderstandin, er... wot, dat recorda fingy still rollin? Why I..... STOP IM!" |
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Smegish
Joined: Jul 13, 2004
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Jan 31, 2005 - 15:50 |
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Hi there sports fans, this is JaHosh Gawwad reporting for Channel BB, and I'm here today to talk of the surprise entry to conference this season, the Pro Losers II.
They have been put into the Western conference to replace the Peno Pancakes, who mesteriously haven't turned up to a match all season, I would have organised an Interview with their coach, but they cannot be found anywhere on the continent, so instead I asked what the Pro Losers Head coach and Captain, Paul "Fatty" Vautin had to say:
"Now look, I reckon we had a great showing in the Qualifying pool, and that was why we were chosen to replace the Peno Pancakes. Now I heard mutterings that we shouldn't have been put in because other teams would've been more competitive, but we'll show em that we can compete with the teams in our conference, and maybe next season work on advancing to the Premier League" |
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gumbi
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Feb 01, 2005 - 00:04 |
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Following some badmouthing in the press recently regarding its members Barbara Bandages from "The Southern Mothers Association" released the following press announcement:
We have been hearing popular players say that the khemri teams in the SWL are only in this game to cause damage to other teams. This is just not true, while we may have to discipline opposing teams, we are acting well within our rights as mothers to educate the young members of the SWL in proper behaviour. The true playing style of the khemri race is an elegant passing game, such as the lightfooted Gumbeast United demonstrated in their victory over the German Vermin, while several of the skaven players misbehaved and were sent to their rooms without dinner, the only serious injuries were caused by their continual running around. Star mother Anders Hansson was heard early in the game warning them that they would cause themselves grief if they keep running around like a headless chickens.
There has been some talk of teams employing the famous teen-princess Zara specifically to hurt the mothers of this prestigious league. The mothers association regrets that Zara has such a bad relationship with her mother after her parents messy divorce, and has turned this hatred to all mothers. While the role of a mother is to guide rather than instruct, we urge all teams not to invest in this troubled teen. The gold she obtains from her career is funnelled directly to a drugs and rock&roll lifestyle, she is a bad influence on the game, and a poor role model for young girls. We mothers have heard the rumour that she has been seen at a local clinic seeking advice regarding STDs, so boys please be careful, the Mothers Association doesn't want to see anything happen to you.
Recently several coaches of the SWL have become very nasty towards coach Gumbi and his distinguished Gumbeast United squad. He has been very upset by these hurtful statements, and after intensive councilling in the Mothers Associations country retreat he is ready to move on with his life. He hopes other coaches have the maturity to curb the suggestions he and his family are bloodthirsty and interested in only one thing. They have worked very hard to develop their game and hope you can admire their sporting approach towards the game.
Please ring your Mothers & look after yourselves.
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Last edited by gumbi on %b %01, %2005 - %01:%Feb; edited 1 time in total |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Feb 01, 2005 - 01:51 |
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Well! It's no secret that Stan McKhanic has lusted after the The Horny Toad's darling apothecary (he and half the other coaches in the swl!), so when Druchii Coach Snorri and his lads were challenged with the kidnapping of the feisty lass, how could they turn down such an audaciously daring mission? The fame and the press they would receive if they could pull such a stunt off would be spectacular!
And so the Vanguard of the Southern Ark stealthed into action. The plan was executed almost perfectly - unfortunately the care to make sure Gumbi and his team of Khemrian Porcelain Dolls would be framed for the stunt were foiled by an unexpected outburst from his mother (she's quite probably the only reason the Gumbeast Dolls are given any respect at all - it's quite distracting trying to pound one of the khemri into dust when her terrifying visage looms behind their bones like a wraithlike shadow).
So, with the darling apothecary chained deep in the Ark, her pet Lizards followed the trail bent on vengeance. Unfortunately, bound in a blinding and dim-witted fury, most of the lizards fell for every trap set for them - leaving them too bruised and mauled to continue in the SWL in the short term. Perhaps they'll have better luck seeking vengeance on Stan McKhanic (now that he has the darling apothecary stashed away somewhere) once they recover.
As for the The Gold Valley Tigers...well! With a miserable fan following, it's usual practice for such teams to be maneuvred by the swl into merging with other teams. Not that Coach Snorri would know anything about it, but with the number of extremely agile star players on the Tigers' roster - it wouldn't be surprising if many of the team had been merged into other teams in the swl already. Thus graciously saving the swl administration the costly hours of paperwork involved in forcing a typically unpopular "official" merge. |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Feb 01, 2005 - 01:59 |
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Some comments from the Krasherz' assistant supercoach Kami:
"I hear Zara's mum was kicked out of the Undead mother's association and subsequently Zara was left to be raised by the dwarves (see the old White Dwarf, or was it Blood Bowl? runic editions - its no wonder she has issues!). So....maybe the undead mother's association has it coming! Good luck to the bent out of shape lass I say!" |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Feb 01, 2005 - 06:21 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
Welcome readers to a special PREMIER PREVIEW of the round 3 BLOCKBUSTER between theBlack Crowes and the current title holders the Southside Stone Smashers
This has all the hallmarks of the Game of the Season..if not the game of the Year!!! On paper though it is hard to see how the mighty Herd are going to stop this SWL powerhouse. Over the Seasons these two team have met on the field of battle 3 times. Smashers currently hold the edge with 2 Wins and 1 Loss. All 3 games were decided with a scoreline of 1-0. Total CAS count is even at 5 a piece. 3/2/0 Crowes - 2/2/1 Smashers. Let's have a look at how these 2 teams shape up this time.
Southside Stone Smashers: Record 35-3-6 268/251 RR 6 FF 12
Smashers are as Smashers do..and this team has a NASTY habit of living up to their name. With a CAS rate that would make an ER Dr. call in sick, they are not to be taken lightly. With a massive average of 3.3 CAS a game..and a sickining 23 RIPs in their 44 games they are built to kill! A quick look at their team sheet shows why. 11 Guards makes a mockery of trying to man up on them. 6 players with Mighty Blow, a sprinkling of Frenzy and Pro to cause trouble and 2 Dirty Players who make lying down no fun either. Look for them to swarm the Beasts early and never let go. They even have a couple of Pass Blockers..one can only assume they ran out of skills to add
They are not short on offensive power either. 81 TDs at an average of 1.8 a game show these little fellas know what to do with the ball. Look for their star runners to do the damage here. Kahn Rockarm and Tharn Stoutlegs have 31 TDs between them and we can expect the ball to end up in their hands as soon as practical.
This team has everything folks..and with NO NIGGLES to speak of they are as healthy as a team can be. Stunning management at such a high level of the game and maybe the fiercest team ever seen in the SWL.
On the other side of the field we have of course our favourite, The Black and Fur, the Horns and Helmets, The Herd GIVE IT UP BEAST LOVERS
the Black Crowes: Record 19-2-19 262/229 RR 5 FF 12
The pride of the Shadow Void, and the personnel pet project of the GREAT UNSEEN, this rangey band of mis-fits has been a stayer in the SWL since their debut in Season 3. Their journey to the Premier Div has been a mighty story of hope (often dashed) and persistence. But after a stunning UNDEFEATED season 7..and a 2-0 start to the Premier Season 8 they are ready for this most awesome of rematches. The team is certainly weaker injury wise. 4 Niggles could be a concern..and a key Chaos Warrior won't be suiting up due to a run in with a Saurus last round. They slightly out Mighty Blow the Dwarves with 8 players weilding the hammer and Taller is the weilder of the Claw! Only 3 Guards on this team of individuals., and only 1 Dirty Player. But what they lack in ST is made up for in heart. You only have to watch the replay of their last match against the Warlizards to see how they never give up. If they have ANY advantage it will be in the Agility stakes. With 3 across the board.and Gone working his AG 4 magic in the backfield, if they can get to the ball they certainly know what to do with it. Their strike rate as an average is only 1.2 a match...but in their last 6 games they have scored 11 TDs and allowed 0! Thats right Herd fans..this defense has been MIGHTY! And they are not shirkers in the pain dept. either. With a CAS average of 2.3 a game and 13 RIPS they can deal a blow on their day.
All up you'd have to think the Herd is coming into this match big underdogs...but these kids will be fighting horn and claw the whole way! There are even rumours swirling out of the Void that the GREAT UNSEEN himself may suit up for this match (read "Wizard") and even if that doesn't come to pass this reporter has also heard that the great Chainsaw weilding goblin Nobbla Blackwart has been seen near the training paddock as well.
Surprises a plenty in store my friends...and who knows what the Smashers may have up their sleeves as well. With 100K in the coffers they may be planning a surprise on gameday too!
This is a MUST SEE event if ever there was one readers! So book your ticket early. Game time is 3pm Sydney time...5pm Wellington Time THIS Thursday FEB 3! Channel BB will have a full report following the match.
Look forward to seeing you there! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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Satans_mechanic
Joined: Jul 17, 2004
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Feb 01, 2005 - 10:43 |
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Official Forza Ferrari Press Release
Coach Stan McKhanic categorically denies any allegations of unlawfully detaining the Horny Toads apothecary, and also states that reports a dungeon has recently been installed at the stables headquarters are completely unfounded |
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Smegish
Joined: Jul 13, 2004
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Feb 02, 2005 - 14:10 |
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Hi there sports fans, and this is JaHosh Gawwad reporting the recent game between the Pro Losers and Bills Beaut Battlers. The Pro Losers, in their first ever conference game, had a great game, and easily dealt with the strength of the Battlers, and when they busted a hole, the Battlers just couldn't catch them. Only one major injury was caused, and Reg Raegan will be suffering from his back injury for some time to come. The Coach and Captain of the Losers, Paul Vautin, had this to say after the game.
"Well Jahosh, I think this game will silence the critics sayin we aren't supposed to be here, not only were we competitive, we can beat even the bashiest of teams without any serious damage done to our team. The Battler's played a good game, but today Nuffle was with us, not them.
Pro Losers II 2-0 Bills Beaut Battlers |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Feb 03, 2005 - 13:32 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
Well dear readers this reporter is EXAHAUSTED! What an afternoon of Blood Bowl it was. The mighty Herd was noble in defeat...and showed why they deserve to be up here with the big boys..but the Champions are Champions and thus it is that we must wait for a rematch somewhere in the future.
Amorica, that stalwart of seasons gone by, has rediscovered his passion for the game in the guise of Dirty Player! After going to ST 2 a couple of seasons ago he was rarely on the pitch...but little did we know that he had been studing the dark arts. With the elusive SPP he was missing finally earned in round 2 he had the final ingredient to start his career in back play bashing. Pundits may well remember it was the same Amorica who was red carded against the Warlizards when he took his first step into darkness...but with that lesson learned he came out prepared to turn the tide against the Smashers. And what a debut performance...with 5 fouls in the game (2 with the "eye" watching)...he rockets to the top of the Twahnlow Ladder, takes out some hefty opponents...AND scores the only TD for the Herd..what a game!
Other damage meisters were Taller doing the do with his trusty Claw...and Horsehead got back to bizness as well. All up they out CASd the dwarves..but it was all too little too late really.
The hinge play was late in the first half when Gone thought he had a scoring break...but Kahn Rockarm managed to knock him and the ball free...TWICE in 2 turns...and the CW wasn't up to the task of finishing off the play. But such is life in the tough top notch world of Premier Div..make or break baby...and it just wasn't enough.
We look forward yto the rest of the season..but somehow feel that THIS game was the GranD Final...we can't see the Smashers losing from here..but good luck opponents...you'll need it
Black Crowes 1 vs 2 Southside Stone Smashers |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Feb 05, 2005 - 09:27 |
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A disconsolate Kami walks out on the Krasherz to consider alternative coaching options after an abysmal showing by the lads at the top level this season... |
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