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Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 05, 2017 - 07:37 Reply with quote Back to top

Fukuoka Fireflies Conference LXIX
Game 1: Ab5's High Elf "[SWL] Jeagers" Image

Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Dice stats are back! How we have missed them.

About midway through the 2nd half, Ab5 said "I'm looking forward to seeing the dice stats on this one"
To which I sympathetically replied "The Pows all belong to me!"

Things had not been going well for the High Elves. The stats will surely prove what we were both thinking:

Injury rolls (10+) 11% Jeagers, 15% Trees... but our hitters have Mighty Blow (9+) 44% Jeagers, 35% Norse

Must be the Armour rolls then (8+) 60% Jeagers, 50% Trees

Got to be those Pows! 16% Jeagers, 20% Norse... hmm maybe

OK screw the dice stats! I must have simply outblocked him: 33 blocks Jeagers, 31 blocks Trees

I'm struggling to see how it happened here. How about Armour rolls/Blocks? 45% Jeagers, 103% Trees. This meant more armour rolls and more injury rolls to the norse.

Fouls were about even, so I guess it's a big Thank You to failed dodge rolls and Frenzy!! (I don't think the frenzy hit counts as a block)

The high elves had 5 players removed from the match through casualty, the norse 2 (plus 2 more via ref. Ref!). A big difference was when it happened. All 5 elf injuries were in the first 4 turns!

Reserves also helped the Norse cause. The numbers advantage compounded by a brutal sweltering heat.

A fun game for the good guys (not so much for the HElves)

3-1 (3/1/1 - 2/0/0)

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 17, 2017 - 20:55 Reply with quote Back to top

Fukuoka Fireflies Conference LXIX
Game 2: Irgy's Wood Elf "Forest Magicians" Image

I like elves.

Look at what I've done to High Elves, my most faced team 5/5/1. Pro Elves, so so 3/1/3. Dark Elves ummm 1/2/2.... and Wood Elves 1/1/3. Do I really like elves? Plus Irgy always beats me.

Thanks to some helpful orcs, the Wood Elves had lost the services of their grab tree (no 1TTDs). But that inducement gap was massive. The Wood Elf star players are not too shabby at all. I knew we wouldn't be seeing Morg, but Eldril is a pain, Jordell can be amazing, and Zara vs Clark is a scary prospect. but Dolfar? meh

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who sets up the kicker in the wide zone :P"
"That's not why I got him"


Eldril was indeed a pain, but Dolfar was a menace. Yes he has a lot of skills, and I think he used every one of them (apart from Kick and Pass Block). He killed a player. He injured a player. He scored a touchdown.

And he assisted Nuffle in tormenting me...

T15, 1-2 down, my kick. Dolfar uses kick-off return to get next to the ball, Dolfar uses diving catch to catch the ball. Dolfar moves along to hand off to the elf thrower. Elf thrower drops it back to Dolfar. Dolfar is exposed and an unlikely draw looks possible.

Smack Dolfar, scoop up the ball and run. New Fish has blodge and the wood elf players are mostly in my half or on the LOS. But better to get New Fish as far into the Magician's half as possible. GFI [1] rr [1], stunned.

Nuffle is such a tease!

Unable to score there really is only one thing left to do. T16 Foul Dolfar! Cas!

1-2 (0/1/1 - 4/0/0)

A memorable game against a top coach. Maybe that GFI wasn't wise. Perhaps leave the dice fails (and there were plenty of them on both sides) for Nuffle to give to the opposition.

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 22, 2017 - 11:15 Reply with quote Back to top

Fukuoka Fireflies Conference LXIX
Game 3: JPM's Underworld "Styx and Warpstones" Image

Skitter! In our last encounter he scored 2 touchdowns. Plus there was always the worry he'd stab gentle (av6) giant Clark to death. I wasn't going to let that happen. My first blitz action Gox charges in and removes Skitter from the game permanently

T4. Clark is dead. Knocked over by Conf SPP leader Volos, and fouled to death by a goblin. He's had a good run, but he is badly damaged (-av -ma -ma). At this early stage of the game, not Apo-worthy
Apo! Off to the reserves you go. Would I pay for being such a sentimenal old fool?

Second half. T12. 1-1

I found this decision really hard. Stall or score?
3 of my 5 guards are out (Clark and Little Cat B both mng). And the 4th has the ball.
Volos is there.
Hades the troll has a tentacle like grip on two of my players.
I've been burnt recently in another league trying to stall.

My heart was screaming "Score", my head was pleading... "stall"....

Goblin blocked away. Rat blitzed away. Ball ran back 4 paces to a nice secure cage. Troll 1D pushed away, [POW], KO!

Volos roars into a cage corner [SKULL][BOTH DOWN] rr [SKULL][SKULL]. Foul! KO!

The underworld have a last valiant attempt at getting the ball, but the drive is over T16 score.

TTM? Nah, kick is a nice skill to have.

2-1 (3/1/1 - 1/2/0)

How's this for a cool stat?:
Trees' Single Dice rolls 33% 6s, 0% 1s.
A Nuffling?
Woah, hang on, let me defend the indefensible.
18 single dice rolls:
2 pickups (2+ with surehands)
4 wild animal rolls (1x failed movement roar)
3 argue the calls (all fail)
1 gfi
3 KO recovery rolls (1 fail, 1 success after the final whistle)
2 distance rolls on kick offs
1 winnings roll
hmmm... that's 16 single dice rolls. I think those stats are a bit off. Anyway, apart from the surehanded pickups, and the 1 gfi (which I had a rr for, and we know those never fail) none of those rolls were crucial. And the final argue the call roll was actually a ONE! Very Happy

Edit: Dice stats guru Candlejack offers an explaination. Argue to call is not yet counted. The D6 of the Cas roll is seen as a single D6. 16 - 3 argue + 5 cas = 18

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Nov 02, 2017 - 01:50 Reply with quote Back to top

Fukuoka Fireflies Conference LXIX
Game 4: Luohghcra's Chaos Dwarf "Wunderland Libertines" Image

Dirty, dirty hobgoblins! Bribe, dirty tricks card, and 2x merc dirty players. Dirty!

No Clark, no claw. I had actually considered buying Chaney from treasury. My recent game plan has revolved around winning the war of attrition. But no! - paper beats rock. I will be paper.

Drive 1, Chorf receives. New Fish (the elf!) dodges through (2+) to provide an assist on the bull ball carrier. Old Fish dodges through (3+), Dauntless, Strip Ball. It's free! Into the crowd and into the Norse zone. New Fish paid for his elfishness and was KO'ed next turn. A late half failed GFI lost my partial screen and the TD went begging. 0-0

Drive 2. No New Fish! How can I paper without the elf? There were dodges, many dodges. 1-0

Drive 3. T15, 2 turns to stop the equaliser. Deep kick next to the sideline. I pondered not using kick and risking the bounce into the crowd, nah that'd be stupid. Play it safe. Mixed up two tricky words "Yes" and "No". Let's call it a misclick and not a brain fart.
Nuffle to the rescue! BLITZ! - must have been getting late (past midnight), my positional sense was bad, even worse than usual. Far from sealed it.
Nuffle to the rescue! Bounce into the endzone. Deepest of deep kicks. Two bulls into my half. Hobgob fails the pick up. OK Nuffle time to kill this. Ball into the crowd, thrown directly forward. ummm, chorfs still in it.

Nuffle the tease! Assist on the Bull target needed a GFI to get there before the blitz. [1] RR [1]

Luohghcra - "why do I suspect a Nuffle style rickroll?", my thoughts exactly.


Hobgob pickup (3+) [3]
GFI (2+) [3]
Pass (3+) [3]
Catch (3+) [1] rr [5]
GFI (2+) [3]
Handover catch (4+) [5] - oh, crap "grats"
GFI (2+) [1] sf rr [3]
GFI to score (2+) [1]!!!

Nuffle the tease! Nuffle to the rescue!

A fun game. I was allowed way more elf bs than I deserved. The ref took the bribe first foul then turned a blind eye for the rest of the match, but the hobgobs were pretty ineffective throughout their 9 fouls. The chorfs couldn't hurt anything. The Card "Distract" could have been really bad - all 6 bonehead rolls passed.

1-0 (0/0/0 - 3/0/0)

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Nov 04, 2017 - 05:46 Reply with quote Back to top

Fukuoka Fireflies Conference LXIX
Game 5: Wex's Chaos "Urban Nightmare" Image

I don't think I've ever had a...
There were....

Nah, I don't think I can do it. Can't write this post without coming across bitter and twisted, or a total whinger.


If anyone wants to watch the replay and write a good third party match report, please go ahead. It's a memorable game, and deserves a better effort.

0-2 (0/1/0 - 4/0/3)


Old Fish
Block, Dauntless, Dodge, Strip Ball, Tackle, Wrestle, Side Step, -ma
82spp, 77gmes, 11td, 10cas.
Freezy Trees Captain from Game 51 (Season LXIV) to Game 99 (Season LXX)
Saved many games, a born leader. Will be missed

Little Cat B
Block, Frenzy, Jump Up, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Juggernaut, Juggernaut, Guard, -ma
85spp, 51games, 27cas
A psychopath. Will be missed

Double pixel sadness!

Little Cat C died too. Mama Cat is a good breeder, there'll be more.

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Nov 15, 2017 - 08:36 Reply with quote Back to top

Fukuoka Fireflies Conference LXIX
Game 6: Bobs's Orc "Tusq" Image


A century of games in SWL, a proud moment. I hope Nuffle treats me better than last game.

First drive I receive and the Orcs just keep leaving the pitch. 5 KOs and a Badly Hurt (wandering apo'ed). By claw, boot and block. In reply the Trees had only 2 off, the ref punishing one for one of the few fouls that didn't break armour. 1-0 half time

All the KO'ed orcs returned. Their single babe did a stellar job.

Second half. A deep kick, and a bunch of orcs get to work up front punishing norse. Clark proves to be a tasty target but requires plenty of assists for the attack. [PUSH][PUSH] rr [PUSH][SKULL]. A failed dodge leads to an opening and the Norse swarm into the Orc half, sacking the ball carrier and screening off a lot of help.
But not all the help, the orcs get the ball back and hurl it into a orc dominated Norse half.
Though the pass was dropped there were no Norse about. Nobody in range to get next to the ball. Nobody except a Yeti.

Clark! The ever reliable, no way he would Roar... please don't roar.
He didn't roar! Blitz! Dodge [6], no need for his dodge skill or his break tackle. [PUSH][PUSH], frenzy but he's slow, GFI [1], Loner [4], GFI [4], [POW][PUSH] into the crowd. Now just one more GFI to cover the ball [1]. Oh well good effort.

Pickup failed, all rr burnt. Norse come in, cover the ball, game over.

T16, Ulf Jibboo growls "I'm not just a MVP whore!", blocks the Ag4 thrower and kills him (apo'ed to mng)

Final score 1-0 (1/1/0 - 0/0/0)

MVP to Jibboo. You are an MVP whore! SWL record for most MVPs in a season is 5. Way back in Season 17. Odds of that in a 7 game season under the old random rules (assuming an 11 man roster) is worse than 1 in a thousand.
Jibboo with the new 1/3 MVPs equals that record in 6 games, odds? Around 1 in 40. Hardly a level playing field but he'll happily take that joint record. And has one more game to try and beat it.

And he's a Star! 53spp. 8 mvps in his short 11 game career. That hardy deserves a custom portrait. But I'll give him one anyway

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Nov 21, 2017 - 10:27 Reply with quote Back to top

Fukuoka Fireflies Conference LXIX
Game 7: RedMaul's Chaos Pact "Egon Schiele All Stars" Image

"Gamename: norsedontchoke"

I was a bit terrified of this one. Missing a Big Guy, no Tackle, little Guard. On paper I really had a big advantage and should be able to do this.
But there was so much at stake. Win, and guaranteed promotion to Prem as one of the two best 2nd place getters. Draw, and most likely I stay in Conf. Lose, no chance
So, a bit terrified, of myself, and of Nuffle.

"I think I've probably shouted 'F$%k No!' at the computer screen more times in this game than Clark has died in his career". That was me around about Turn 12. Do you wish to relive those moments with me?

"F$%k No!" moment #1: Turn 0, Blitz! Remember the game against Chaos? When a wall of guard moved in, along with Max Spleenripper, who KOed Clark in T0, and went on to do much carnage? Well RedMaul hired Ugroth. Fortunatley (for Clark) the kick was short, and with the help of a non chainsaw blitz, the dark elf renegade got himself under the ball and caught it.

"F$%k No!" moment #2: Turn 2, after giving gentle giant Clark a haircut in Turn 1 (stunned), Ugroth fouls the yeti. And kills him, dead. (apo works)

"F$%k No!" moment #3: Turn 5, New Fish has made a break down the sideline. But was very unlikely to avoid a 2D hit. Most probably from the dark elf wrestler. This proved to be the case. But even if taken down New Fish was likely to be able to get up, regather the ball and score. Unless... stunned!

"F$%k No!" moment #4: Turn 11. Ball in a big rain puddle in Pact territory. Two Norse are standing next to it, New Fish is also there, lying next to it. Along with 3 Pact men. Time for Clark to shine and clear the Ogre away. Roar? nope. Double Skull! Reroll fail? nope. Another Double Skull!

"F$%k No!" moment #5: Turn 12. Ball still in that big rain puddle. Pact do a nice chain push to put a prone player onto the ball, it bounces, to the dark elf. In the rain, in a TZ, in Clark's majestic aura, he needs a 6+ to catch that ball. He catches that ball.

"F$%k No!" moment #6: Turn 13. Ball in a puddle again. This time next to a goblin wedged between two tacklers. Goblin chucks a custard pie at one, dodges from the other, collects the ball and runs!

Yes there were a few moments, maybe more moments than Clark has died. Did these moments lead to the feared Norse choke? They could have... if not for one... big.... F$%K YEAH!


New captain Nink scores the only TD of the game. And we're off to the Premier League!!!

1-0 (2/1/0 - 2/0/0)

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Nov 25, 2017 - 19:54 Reply with quote Back to top

Season review! Well, career review. It seems the Freezy Trees SWL career may be over

1) Play 100 games with the team ACHIEVED
2) Play 100 games with a player
3) Beat lizards
4) Beat norse
5) Play and beat halflings
6) Play and beat goblins
7) Score a 1 turn touchdown
8) Have a player selected for the SWL All Star team
9) Return to Prem ACHIEVED
10) Win Prem
11) Get a Legend
12) Have and maintain a +ve TD diff ACHIEVED
13) Have and maintain a +ve Cas diff ACHIEVED
14) Have and maintain a winning record ACHIEVED
15) Never return to Reggies ACHIEVED
16) Win a game with a 4 point margin
17) Kill (or force into retirement) a Legend
18) Get a Norse badge (only 3 of the 5 listed are possible)
19) Kill (or force into retirement) a player on the team grudge list
20) Win a gold twahnlow

Happy with #9, but did I? Qualified certainly, but won't get to play.

Grumpy with #8, New Fish was outstanding for S69

Sad about #2 (Clark 96 games) and #11 (New Fish 142spp, <2 seasons away at the current rate)

Overall mixed feelings on the decision to reboot the league. I was thinking retirement - the reason for the Team Goals list - but there was unfinished business which will remain unfinished.

As for the blog, this stays. It's not a Freezy Trees blog. It's a ramchop takes on the Southern Wastes blog. I like going back and tracking the developments of the coach and the team. The team is gone, but the coach has a long way to go.

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Jan 22, 2018 - 20:48 Reply with quote Back to top

Wow, I sound almost magnanimous in my gut reaction above to the SWL reboot news. Maybe, I should go with the gut more often. I've been quietly (and not so quietly) seething for the last 2 months over missing out on my Prem season.

However, what they've come up with to farewell CRP is pretty cool. Basically it's the same format as the World Cup in Russia later this year. 8 pools of 4 teams, top 2 of each pool enter 4 rounds of knock outs.

We had worried that the Trees' would be overly influenced by petty goals in their final season. Loading New Fish up with MVPs so he can become a SWL Legend. Keeping Clark on life support so he can make that 100th game. But to reach both these goals they need games, and to get the games success is paramount. Must qualify for the KO rounds!

Who stands in our way?:
Image Students of the Arcanum (pdarbs) - TV1540k
Image High Elvis (mushoomy) - TV1880k
Image Wonga Wonga Whalekillers (Balle2000) - TV1790

Should be fun.
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