chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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 Posted:
May 31, 2005 - 14:04 |
 
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Coach Chunknanimous steps to the podium.
"Its all a rort I tells you! The administrators of this league are simply biased against me. Have a look at those Pro Bowl - not a single one of my proteges in there, despite our success, and look at the Hall of Fame - we've have a number of Twahnlow award winners, and yet no-one in the Hall of Fame. It's a conspiracy I tells ya!" |
Last edited by chunky04 on %b %03, %2005 - %02:%Jun; edited 1 time in total |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Jun 01, 2005 - 11:45 |
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Bob Borc shovels out the trash and hollers in a booming voice...
Only fluffy bunnies allowed in here! Usually we prefer the Shadow Forge kind, but it takes all sorts I spose. Am sure someone out there thinks good ol Coach Chunknanimous is a cute fluffy bunny....somewhere!
(ooc - keep the posts in character guys, it's our fluff forum!) |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Jun 01, 2005 - 12:35 |
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Bob Borc officially opens the SWL Twahnlows party with a typically boisterous, but polite, introduction.
The Smashers are awff! The Sm..., uh, ahem. Welcome one and all to dis season's Twahnlow's Party!
As usual we'll test da mettle of the best with a week long bash to celebrate are most famous and notorious of players for SWL Season 9! We be doin it a little different this year - we usually start out with the lower divisions and work up to the presentations for the Premier division and the Twahnlow Medal...but given the complete bollocks of a show in Prem this season we thought we'd get dem out of the way first! Despite the infrequent games, those teams that did show up did a sterling job in adverse circumstances to keep the spirit of the SWL going at its highest level - kudos to coaches BeefyGoodness, Chunky04, Faulcon, Ozjesting and Sandune!
The division ended up being quite a romp for the Smashers who were a little worried for their future in the latter stages of the last season. Blustering and bluffing their way past all opponents we all started wonderin' what the next challenge would be for 'em, since there wasn't much left to do. So it comes as no surprise to hear they are retiring on a high note, with much glory havin' been achieved in their long history. Good luck to em in Vets!
Onto da awards! Wif not many games bein played there wasn't much of a chance for the fellas in Prem to shine. Usually hard to do so in da best of circumstances with games being played at such a competitive level, but even more so this season. The one really standout performance would have to be from Kahn Rockarm of the SSS, who managed to tie for the Golden Slipper with a skink! What a freakishly stellar performance for a dwarf.
The most coveted award for the premier players, this season's Twahnlow Medal for best and fairest goes to that one man team, Gone from the Black Crowes for his consistent efforts to keep his struggling team on the pitch and competitive!
For a more detailed expose on presentations and statistics:
The Golden Awards
The Twahnlow Medal
Stay tuned for the upcoming Silver and Bronze award presentations! |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jun 02, 2005 - 16:46 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
Well dear readers...what a crazy mixed up season it has been for the Herd! Always struggling to hang in...threats from upper management that they were about to be retired, the GREAT UNSEEN spending more time in his lab than on the training paddock, and your's truely sent to the mailroom for a spell thanks to some "unacceptable" articles!
Well it is all behind us now!
How about a great big Horns Up for Gone! If ever any beast was the pure hope and style of this ragtag outfit it is HIM! While a Premiership has eluded him so far he has finally earned the respect of his team and peers for his hardhorned attitude and silky skills! SEASON 9 TWAHNLOW WINNER!!! Also add to that the Golden Arm and Golden Arrow awards....and a starting spot on the Premier Allstar Probowl team! Only the Hall of Fame eludes him...and it should come soon enough in Conference play this year! Lions has already written a feisty little rocker for his latest project "Gone Be Here" Grab a copy from all good music stores!
As the Herd gets ready for Season 10 look out for some big changes. In order to fit under the cap a few players have decided to hang up their boots...a full report on the changes soon dear readers...but for now
GONE! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jun 05, 2005 - 15:53 |
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Ed Harsh here on Special Assingment. Probowl!
Well Dear readers the Herd were well represented in the Premier vs Veterans PROBOWL here this evening! Twahnlow Medalist Gone and his stable mate Taller were both starters for the big match! And of course our very own Coach ozjesting was pulling the strings! From a very biased point of view our kidz did us proud! Gone swooped on an early fumble, reversed play...and layed off a neat little pass to set up first TD! Some crunching hits on the Vets recievers spoiled any chance to even before the half..1-0. Second half was all Flitter Mice really....basic play was Whap to Derrick to TD! Almost too easy really. Vets showed some spirit in the second half as well. Finally overcoming the onesies they strolled in for 2 TDs.
All up a nice bit of fun for the crowds..but not the bone crunching stuff we have come to expect from the SWL...seemed all the players were just enjoying the fun and keping healthy for next season. Only 1 BH (an earlier SI on Target was Apothed)...and even Taller was in a good mood..2 claw hits on a AV 6 lineman didn't even see a stun!
Here is to the commentary team makingthe fun even more fun!
See you in season 10..Conference style! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny!
Last edited by ozjesting on %b %08, %2005 - %15:%Jun; edited 1 time in total |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jun 08, 2005 - 13:40 |
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Coach Chunknanimous ascends to a rather larger than normal podium.
Good Evening Folks! I have a HUGE announcement for you all!
Introducing THE most dangerous and brutal pair EVER to grace this foul, corrupt league - bykhemri and byfreakingobbos!
(Two rather large and impressive looking Beastmen stand on the podium, looking very intimidating, and glaring at the crowd)
Weighing in at over 300 pounds of solid muscle, byfreakingobbos sent players to hospital every 4.33 Blocks last season! You look up brutal efficiency in the dictionary, this is the face you will see! His tackling skills are without peer, and he has demonstrated them at this games highest level!
And beware folks, for following in his footsteps will be the Beast from the East, the Goat with the Leaden Boot (now gold plated!) bykhemri! Despite many of the teams in Premier running in fear from us, mykhemri still managed a sterling effort of 10 bootings! We have no actual statistics as to his efficiency, but I assure you folks, from that 10 Boots he likely caused at least 17 casualties, including 3 referees!
Look at these fine specimens and despair in your ignorance miserable cretins! These fantabulous massacrists were left of the Pro Bowl teams you fools voted for! The two most burtal players in the entire Premier division last season, and you scorned them! Shame on you! Shame on you all you utter fools!
<Shuffling in the crowd>
Irite Stuff: Thats a load of shite Chunknanimous, they were never on the ballot - and that was your responsibility Chunknanimous you arrogant moron!
Chunknanimous: You whiny little bitch Stuff! You may have hidden from me on Pro Bowl day last Sunday, but you won't get away this time! <Chunknanimous starts to walk towards Irite Stuff>
<The twin Beastmen of Doom looks at each other, and give each an almost imperceptible nod>
<byfreakinggobbos burts forwards and delivers a massive BLITZ to Chunknanimous! The crowd looks on in awe like stunned mullets!>
After a long, uncomfortable silence, Chunknanimous is heard to scream MEDIC! in a voice like a death rattle!
A conveniently nearby apothecary runs over to Chunknanmious, and uses the Defribulator of Doom - Chunknanimous seems to be much better, though still exhausted.
byfreakingobbos simply stands up and points to bykhemri, who is revealed to be warming up that gold plated lead hoof!
Chunknanimous sees this, and starts begging for his life "No, come on, I led you to the promised land, you can;t kill me I am the master coach!"
bykhemri brutally puts the boot in, and all can see that Coach Chunknanimous is dead - defribulator technology in the Old World is only capable of one charge after all.
bykhemri walks over to the microphone and speaks in a brutal guttural growl:
INDEED |
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chunky - you are eloquence on legs |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Jun 08, 2005 - 14:33 |
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And the Twahnlows party gurgles its way on towards the night of Silver and Bronze!
Well folks, with da rush of excitement as the new season gets started early, we may see a few groggy stars doing their worst on the bb pitches!
Dis season saw some spectacular efforts in da Regionals, two emerging stars who could already probably slip into any Premier lineup!
Antaka from the Minor Deities had a stellar all round season, catching, dodging and running in for try after try for a record gathering of 50spp's! Absolutely astonishing. It will be interesting to see if some of the hardened opposition in the Conferences will slow her down at all. For her efforts she gets the Bronze Slipper, Ball and Star!
Noisy from da rats at Good, Bad and Furry is already a hardened vet! I dinna fink there is another thrower in the competition who could match his skill! An average of 7.35 yards per pass, 103 yards gained as well as 172 yards rushing in a single season! Even the skinks dont get close to that! He's a one rat team - now if only he could find some equally stellar sewer talent down field and these rats would be hard to stop. Noisy gets da Bronze Arm, Boomerang and Arrow! No-one else even came close.
Bronze Twahnlows
In da Conferences it was a much tougher affair. With the level TR200 playing field, games were hard fought for and there was less of a chance for stars to shine, but still they did, though the winners dont bring any surprises to the podium!
Despite doin the hard yards all season, the Angry Asgardians showed they're still the kings of blocking with Rudi Van Winkle and Frozen Taurus in amongst the awards. Now they just need to pick up their ball game - literally!
Clayton from Carlton United was the Asgardian's only spoiler, picking up the Silver Fists with a solid display of hitting.
While the norse showed they do what they do best, the elves did the same, sweeping off with the ball playing awards. Blind Navigator from the Vanguard of the Southern Ark and Adam Foote from the Colorado Avalanche make off with the Silver Arm, Boomerang and Arrow while Hopp'n M'Broomstick, also from the Vanguard showed she will be something to watch in Prem after wrapping up the Silver Ball and Silver Star with 8td's and 33 SPP's for the season.
The only spoiler for the elves was yet another Asgardian! Anders Johansson managed to tie for the Silver Ball while also picking up the Silver Slipper.
Silver Twahnlows
Well, dats it from yer favorite, charming old presenter, Bob Borc. Signing out and off ta look for the fastest way to end da season - at the bar!
(Don't forget to reward yer players efforts by immortalising their deeds in their bio's!) |
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Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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Jun 09, 2005 - 05:28 |
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After the game
An indepth look at the Angry Asgardians postmatch.
Round 1: Angry Asgardians vs Wicker Men
Toonie: Well played boys, those Wicker Men really are a tough mob, but you came through in the end.
Anders Johansson: Was a tough match coach, but on that touchdown that got us the equaliser I felt something give.
Toonie: Get the apothacery in here quick to check Anders out!
(Apothacery wanders in and starts examining Anders)
Apothacery: He's fine for now but that could flair up again and make him miss some matches.
Toonie: Damn! The last thing i needed to hear was you gaining a niggle Anders.
(Former star blitzer and now commentator Lars Nielson enters the locker room with some glittering silver awards in hand.)
Lars: Hey guys, I picked up your Twahnlows at the award ceremony since you couldn't make them because of the game.
Toonie: Thanks Lars, Frozen Tauros and Rudi Van Winkle will be happy to see them. They were in a mood all game about it.
(Lars hands out the awards to Anders,Frozen and Rudi)
Frozen: RAWRR!
Toonie: Good to see him happy again.
Lars: So how did the match go?
Toonie: Was a good start to the season, getting anything better than a loss against Wicker Men is great.
Lars: How did the mission to send Sven to Valhalla go?
Toonie: The boys had him down and Baldur Thorsen sunk the boot in but he only badly hurt him.
Baldur: I couldn't bring myself to kill my own bretheren, I hesitated when i had the chance to do the job properly.
Rudi: Well i wish you could do as good a job as their guys did.
(Lars looks at Rudi questionly)
Rudi: I nearly went to Valhalla myself, luckily the doc was on his game today.
Toonie: Yeah but there was nothing he could do about Hans, now there is another one of our guys playing for them.
Lars: Well it looks like next time you guys play Wicker Men there will be 2 missions to send our former team mates to Valhalla.
Toonie: That will have to wait for another day, next round we have some elves to show how to play.
Lars: Where's that being played?
Toonie: Here at the Asgard Dome(c) on our new Asgardturf(TM). Funny thing is, this season all our games are being played here.
Lars: I will really be looking forward to that.
Toonie: Ok boys, hit the showers. we got some training to do. |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jun 09, 2005 - 18:18 |
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Ed Harsh here from the Black Crowe Conference Kick-Off Party
Well a big night for the Herd dear readers as the many of the Mighty Crowes hang up their boots and the team prepare to re-enter the Conference division. It was a beautiful night indeed! All the players past and present were there...and Lions was in fine form as he sang all of his hits and a special new song, "We Miss You Already", dedicated to all the outgoing players!
HardToHandle One of the "Originals" A stoic performer on the line...only missed 2 games in all of the Crowes sasons! His greatest moment was scoring a TD in Premier in against the Warlizards in a most unlikely victory!
BlackBery Joined the Herd early in Season 1..and instantly went to work against the Sewer Pipe Dream with a TD, a Cas and MVP honours! 43 games and a niggle later...this TD sneak and honest toiler now plans to coach in the minor leagues and give back to the game he loves so much.
HorseHead
41 games. Never a standout star but always solid! Really strutted his stuff in Season 7 when he took home the Silver Fist award! Now plans to do security work for Lions in the offseason.
Nebakanezer
After 38 games Herd fans are no closer to understanding this quiet enigma of a Warrior. He would throw passes against elves, cause Cas's against Dwarves and get the MVP in games just from a sheer force of will...but never really discovered what he wanted to do. It is rumoured that he was related to JealousGuy in some strange way...and the death of his mate never left him. Some have even suggested that the injury he carries was self-inflicted to honour his fallen commrade...but we may never know.
And there they go...all champions...all will be missed.
Also this weeks Season 10 round 1 will mark the 50th match for the now leaner Black Crowes
The only 2 players who will also be honnoured as having played in all 50 matches are,
Taller
Currently inthe Pro Bowl side...he will be back for his 50th along with
MorningSong
A Copper Slipper winner from season 4. Was once the main man in the offensive backfield til Gone arrived..but looks to combine with the Twahnlow Medalist this season as part of a new AG 4 combo..assuming his injury dosen't hold him back.
Now to the Game! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jun 10, 2005 - 07:54 |
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Irite Stuff here covering the Horrors Heroes vs Food for Thawt match. It was tense struggle at Deadman stadium today, with both teams having only a few potential ballhandlers, both teams seemed to have instructions to target these players. Horrors Heroes managed to get in for the first touchdown after a struggling drive. The game then turned into a tense defensive struggle for the Heroes, however they were up to the task, and easily held the dead geniuses for the rest of the half, even launching a desperation play to try and score in the dying seconds themselves.
The defense of the Heroes continued to shine in the second half, with the aid of a positioning error by Food for Thwat they had seemingly won the match. However, all of a sudden the clouds drifted across the moon and a cold chill swept Deadman Stadium. Both Mummies showed unnatural mobility, with Thawt going up the road and round the corner for a Block, a zombie brainiac making another block, and then Benjamin Franklin made a crisp pass to Robert J Oppenheimer, who calmly caught it and showed a ridiculous turn of pace to tie the game! Surely this will difficult to beat as the play of the season!
And now we have the postgame press conference:
A cloaked figure walks onto the postgame interviews stage. His face cannot be seen under the cloak, and he takes some time to look around the room before his cold eyeless gaze falls on Irite Stuff. The figure slowly reaches up to pull back his hood, and its...
Coach Chunknanimous! A rather pasty looking Coach Chunknanimous. Chunknanimous points at Irite Stuff, and a beam of dark energy leaps from his hand - Irite Stuff howls in agony as he ages rapidly, till all thats left is a corpse.
With a wicked grin, Coach Chunknanimous begins to speak in dry raspy tones.
"Good Evening, glad you could join us here. What, you really didn't think I'd coach a bunch of maniacal Chaos scum without a fallback plan plan if things went wrong do you? I've been learning Necromancy for some time now just in case. In fact, that is what the TER was about all along fools, I now have the corpses of all the Twahnlow holders my teams have killed over the years, and soon I will discover how to get them on the pitch once more. Oh, and while we're at it, I'd like to introduce you to our latest player - Irite Stuff -
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On to the recently past events though - WE WUZ ROBBED! They had some sort of arcane superglue on the hands of that Mummy, under the guise of "Embalming Fluids" How else do you explain that play that cost us victory. If the management of this league weren't so corrupt and useless, I'd expect a full scale enquiry. No doubt however, palms have been brushed with transitory wealth, but you have not heard the last of this team. Despite the conspiracy against my teams in this league, we will win!"
"Oh, and I am Coach Chunknanimous no longer. You may now call me....
The Chunkomancer. Bitches." |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jun 10, 2005 - 09:01 |
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Duh... gudday folks, it Axe here, wif da first nomanayshun for da Play of Da Season!
Dat Big Hunk o Dead Burnin Love <reads very slowly> Robert J Oppenheimer scored da game drawing touchdown for Food For thawt mmmm...food, me hungry now. Anyways, me is normally able to run away from da uglier ones of dem mummies, who always seems to want ta press dere affekshuns on mes, but in dis play bof Rob, and Thawt showed enough pace to cachs me, and dey bashed fings, and Thawt plucked dat ball from de air wif da greatest of eez. Dis was inspiring stuff, and I reckon dis will be da Play of de Season!
We even have da replay heres, de play is in turn all de fingers and de toes of wun foot plus annuver, you can see it at:
http://fumbbl.com/replay/JBBReplay.jnlp?game=787781
Dis is Axe, da reporta who blows ya ... what?... oh, blows ya away - especaly dem nice orcses, we luvs them we do. Anyways, dis is Axe, signing off. |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Jun 10, 2005 - 13:27 |
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It's a quiet day at Snorriheim.
Upstairs, Coach Snorri can be heard rumbling on...probably been hounded into doing paperwork to get the lads ready for another tilt at Premiership glory. The premier team, the Vanguard have rarely been seen of recent times. Rumour has it coach has 'em on some secret programme. Time will tell!
Out on the blood bowl pitch a few scruffy birds chase each other as they fight for the prizes on offer from the last game. Now a couple of seasons old, the pitch is developing quite a luxurious carpet of green, amazing how fruitful a little blood and bone is!
Here at ground level, a continual procession of geriatric halflings waddle past, pipe in one hand, cane in the other. It seems they're all trying to be devlishly clever in avoiding notice as they sneak off to....what is that? A donut stall! My, my....despite their protestations about picking up the infamous affectations of the young and effervescant Whippy Boys, it seems they all still have a sweet tooth...err pair of gums.
And amidst all this hullabaloo (a very sedate, inbetween season hullabaloo one has to admit) something is definitely going on beneath the Snorriheim Bowl. Piercing the tranquil calm a tinkering of sorts can be heard...coming from right beneath one's feet - down where the Old Gaffer keeps Snorriheim's Gnomish team happily tucked out of the way and allowed to do their own thing without bothering the Coach (Snorri). However, recently the tinkering has changed tune...hard to describe it really, like it's found 'rhythm''. But that would be rather silly, everyone knows gnomes dont have a musical twitch in their entire being so there's no feasible way any of their inventions could genetically inherit. Still...something's new, and it's not so subtle nature is bound to bring Coach Snorri booming down to investigate sooner or later!
Boom...Boom...Bellow...Bellow!
Midstep Coach Snorri shifts back a gear and contemplates the situation. One of the security Bobs is promptly ordered down to investigate. Good decision - no point in confronting a dozen gnomes, they'll win whatever conversation you can manage hands down. At least with a Bob, so much talk just goes in one ear and out the other....
Moments later, a startled Bob re-emerges as he hurtles through the air only to end up in the donut stall (a small matter which the old geriatric halflings are not terribly pleased about, but too old and stubborn to admit otherwise)...
Trailing the Bob is a dwarf. This is the last straw for Coach Snorri! The reputation of the teams from Snorriheim for their agility has grown to such a point that the mere presence of a dwarf on the grounds is considered the most ill of omens! So in a huff, he strides over to deal with the pompous dwarf personally.
As he gets closer, he notices a few things. The belly isn't as large, nor is the beard...and...he was chattering! Dwarves don't chatter! A little bemused, Coach Snorri suddenly realised he was one of the Old Gaffer's Guild and finally heard the croaky old guffaws coming from the Old Gaffer nearby.
What happens next was anybody's guess. All of a sudden an army of gnomes had arrived as if from nowhere to back up their homegrown hero - Pappy Youngfellow. Pappy has certainly benefited from whatever strange tinkering has been going on under the Bowl - he's ginormous for a gnome. So, security Bobs and Gnomish army stared each other down while coach Snorri was left facing off with da Old Gaffer...and this one time da Old Gaffer wore a gleeful expression that quietly said he wasn't going to be his usual peacable old self today. It was a perplexing situation - eventually the standoff went on for so long everyone grew bored and that was that. Tis not like coach Snorri to leave things be though...having brawny thugs on the lesser teams would only ruin the reputation his teams have earned, not to mention that there's only room for one coach in Snorriheim!
(Pappy Youngfellow is the first Snorriheim lad who's benefited from a 'roidal +ST bonus out of 6 teams and 172 games in the SWL divisions! God knows how many skill increases that adds up to - didn't want to do *that* mathematics!) |
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Dravaal
Joined: Feb 05, 2005
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Jun 12, 2005 - 11:12 |
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-=Welcome all to the latest and greatest show down here in the Southern Wastes League, SWL on Sunday! And here’s your host, Icans Pell!!=-
Welcome one; welcome all, to the inaugural episode of SWL on Sundays, sponsored by The Revenants of the Realm!
And what a Sunday it has been, the Revenants playing their first ever game in the SWL, a momentous occasion for the young team. The team went out looking for blood early on, and found plenty, at the hands of the goblins, yes, goblins, of Really Old Oldie Guys. Things started off well for the Revenants as they knocked out one of the opposing trolls, but from there on in it became painful. Duke Alexander Marquis threw a block at a goblin and badly hurt himself, as the goblins successfully stopped the drive of the Vampire team. Plenty of KO'd goblins and the troll didn't help matters as the goblins still halted the useless Vampires. When most of them came back in the second half, the Revenants knew it was going to be tough. The goblins then took apart the Vamps, Niggling Sir Desmond Luther who failed to regenerate, a costly blow to the team, notably out of the 5 injuries sustained by the Vampires only one was delivered by a troll. A final score of 1-0 against Revenants, and Coach Dravaal was none too happy about it; let’s see what he had to say.
"Absolutely ridiculous, the team has really disappointed me today, if that’s how we're going to perform then expect to see some players culled. A more useless bunch of players I've never seen, absolute one hundred percent tripe."
Not a happy man, and to be honest we can't blame him. The Revenants don't have much to look forward to either, next week facing a veteran Ogre team that promises to tear them apart. Coach Dravaal had this to say about next week’s match up.
"It's shit!"
When questioned further he refused to elaborate.
Now, onto the interviews, and today we have with us SonofSharkboy, coach of the Really Old Oldie Guys!!
Icans Pell: So, SonofSharkboy, how do you feel about the game today between your Really Old Oldie Guys?
SonofSharkboy: It went pretty smooth despite that first turn KO of a troll
Icans Pell: Yes, your trolls seemed to be a little lacklustre today, don't you think?
SonofSharkboy: I expected a lot of cas
SonofSharkboy: well they are young
SonofSharkboy: compared to all the olde gobbos runnin through my squad
SonofSharkboy: I’m surprised none of those coots pushed up daisies today
Icans Pell: Well, they certainly showed their experience, dishing out four casualties to the hapless Vampires, how did this make you feel? You'd have to be happy with a performance like that!
SonofSharkboy: pain makes us beautiful
<A wry wink from SoS>
SonofSharkboy: we tried to beat up thralls
Icans Pell: Well, in that case Blood Bowl is a beautiful game!
SonofSharkboy: it was surprising that the vamp got hurt
SonofSharkboy: he was just in the wrong spot at the wrong time
Icans Pell: Yes, you managed to BH one Vampire and SI the other, coach Dravaal was not a happy man, we can tell you that much!
SonofSharkboy: hehe blood bowl is beautiful
Icans Pell: A few final questions, how did you find the opposing coach?
Icans Pell: and, what do you think your prospects are like next week against the dwarves of Blackmountain united?
SonofSharkboy: he played well and had a couple bad breaks. The lack of tackle probably drove him nuts.
SonofSharkboy: We
SonofSharkboy: are
SonofSharkboy: Dead
SonofSharkboy: .
Icans Pell: Yes, most people would think so, we'll just have to see though! Well, thankyou for the interview, we wish you luck next week!
SonofSharkboy: Ty!
Well, that's all we have time for today, we hope you've enjoyed the show, stay tuned next week for another exciting SWL on Sunday! |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Jun 12, 2005 - 19:12 |
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Hi and welcome back folks, I'm Bob Borc and this is Channel BB!
Your all bloodbowl all hours coverage channel. We are highlighting tonight the Premier Division of the Southern Wastes League.
These are the ultimate in bad boys, the nastiest of the nasty, the elfroided supremes of the ever green field. We kick off our team profiles tonight with...
German Vermin
Ich bin ein Bloodbowler? Well the question could be asked about this filthy pestilence ridden crew. Personally i never much fancied rat my self and i don't fancy it now. However they wouldn't have gotten here if they didn't have at least something. Lowest ranked of the Premier sides on the Channel BB! rating system I don't expect them to be bringing home the cheese this season, although they may decide through the casualties they can inflict who does....They start the season carrying a few injuries and appear to lack depth in their line up however its a long season and it could easily go either way for them.
Zen Adepts
A long time SWL powerhouse team the Zen Adepts are just one of several teams returning or continuing in the premier this season. Last season was spent in the conferences where a solid performance by this team has seen them reclaim a spot in the glory of glories. Time however has been harsh on the Adepts and they may struggle this season. they are the second weakest team according ot the Channel BB! rating system but they have a proven record none-the-less. With a never say die attitude and a solid core of fans they may yet rise to the top to claim the SWL's finest prize. They also go into the season carrying some injuries however a lot of the old gaurd has been replaced with some fresh faces whilst a solid core of dependable players especially 59 game veteran troll Disciple Shariputra soldier on and provide a good basis for hope this season.
Carlton United
You may love em, you may hate em, you might even love to hate em regardless of wht you think about this team, show ponies or solid damn good players, they are back! Third lowest ranking doesnt seem to deter these chaps and historically when their mind has been on the game neither does anything else from their one true goal, and that is Victory. Still captained by the seemingly Immortal Duke Snakefield they go into this season carrying a lot of injuries and this despite having changed a lot of their starting lineup since the Season 8 scandals. Despite wanting to i really can't write them off. Theyll be a contender seasons end, why, because they wouldn't have it any other way...
Gumbeast United
The Southern Mothers Associations most beloved boys are back and where there mommies feel they rightfully belong. 5th overall in the Channel BB! rankings for Premier this year this team of well scrubbed gleaming skulls and freshly washed wrappings are carrying some injuries however they have a deep lineup and they're boots are well polished this season. I don't expect they will take the prize this year however they may well be one of the sides who decides who will. Ably led by Anders Hansson and Marvin Buffington just two of this teams several 50+ game veterans this is a side that will never say die......
Colorado Avalanche
In a mere 24 games this side has come from nowhere to the highest form of the game to be seen in all of the Southern Wastes. With a solid line up and few injuries this is one of my two picks to make it to the top for this year. They only rate 4th in the division in the Channel BB! rankings however i feel that that understates the beauty power grace and sheer terror that is the avalanche. A skilled and agile team, so long as they can avoid too many crippling injuries they should do very well, very well indeed.....
Slumbering Skink
A superb mix of raw power, speed , and slippery agility this team represent the only season 9 team to remain in premier. They are raw strength an are a mighty side in premier although they are only third in the Channel BB! rankings. With very few injuries their only concern will be that they have the least depth to their side of any in the Premier with only 11 players. Any casualties early in any game will be felt badly, they are going to need to strike hard and fast from the get go every game this season. With Thshltraeeay the Unpronounceable, the incredible 64 game 125 star player point Star and the redoubtable team Captain Krss this is a team to watch....
Beasts of Bowl
Second highest ranked premier team the Beasts have a lot to live up to, long the confernece bridesmaids this team was last seasons highest casualty causers in the conferences. Led by its four Beast Masters including Pro Bowl selectee Lucius this is a team that has lots of promise. A weakness however is there form against agile sides which has traditionally been a great weakness, if they can overcome this they should be a real chance for the title. However tat being said the remaining side could be there great undoing..........
Vanguard of the Southern Ark
Channel BB!'s highest ranked premier side and its second highest ever at seasons start the Vangaurd start the season as out and out favourites for the title. With few injuries and a lineup of good strong depth this side should have both the staying power and the agility to get the job done, one of several sides with huge fan followings this could be the premier season that sets new records in crowd attendance numbers for the season. Always exciting, always dynamic these Dark Denizens will be without a doubt the most watched team this season. With Two pro bowl selections, Blind Navigator and Hopp'n Mc'Cauldron this side has plenty of champions ready to carry the trophy.
Who will rule the Season folks and carry home the Trophy for the Southern Wastes League? Only the blood sweat and tears of these fine athletes will tell us folks, as they take it a game at a time. |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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Symmetrical
Joined: Jan 15, 2005
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Jun 15, 2005 - 05:35 |
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Greetings sports fans! Klaus Von Crap keeping all you beer drinking sausage munchers informed on the progress(or lack of it) of the German Vermin in Season X Premier. The first game for our furry fiends pitted them against long time stalwarts, Slumbering Skink. Stocked full of strength, and covered in almost impenetrable armour, the Lizard were far too strong in this outing, taking the game easily, 3-0.
Searching for positives to draw from this game is akin to searching for a needle in a haystack, with the only obvious highlight being the killing of Sshm by Miss Claudia Schiffer. The Vermin's recent inability to cause significant damage to their opponents has been noticed by their Coach, and he has announced extra training sessions this week. They will involve the slaughter of orphans, unicorns and puppies, just to try and reinstill that killer instinct in his charges.
3 Points #7 Kysht
In the Twahnlow voting, Kysht was the obvious standout, and recieves 3 votes. He was the difference between the two teams, providing strength and stability to the Skink's midfield, while handing out punishment to any unfortunate enough to stand near him.
2 Points #9 Thshltraeeay
2 Votes go to Thshltraeeay, simply for surviving the game, most of which the Lizards were without their medic. He also handled the ball distributing duties flawlessly, while his German counterparts fumbled around like midgets in a bowling alley.
1 Point #1 Ghsrss
1 Twahnlow vote goes to Ghsrss, for generally being annoying with his long tail, thick skull, and ability to look out for his team mates, even when under pressure himself. |
Last edited by Symmetrical on %b %15, %2005 - %15:%Jun; edited 1 time in total |
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