OldBugman
Joined: May 05, 2005
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 Posted:
Jun 15, 2005 - 06:25 |
 
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jun 15, 2005 - 14:50 |
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It's Cannon here folks with a review of the lineup in the Mr Whippys Donut Emporium League.
We're still almost a week off the end of the first round, but the lads in the Mr Whippy league have got out to an early start, showing the most enthusiasm of any of the leagues in the SWL - we'll be going through the teams in order of the ccurrent standings:
The Dwarfs of Clan Ironbeard have overcome a poor start in the first round to be our competition leaders, but are currently the only team to have won a game and played two. They'll likely be overhauled before the end of round 2. Still, they managed a good solid win in their second game over Food for Thawt, a match they would have gone into as underdogs given they were down a man from their first game. Now that they have their troops back on deck, they are a very solid unit, though apart from a spritely Longbeard by the name of Tain Ironbeard, few have yet shown much in the way of skill.
Next we have the Ironbeards first round conquerors, the hard men (erm Dwarfs) of Karak Varn FC. KFC put on a dominating first up performance against their brethrean, dominating the line of scrimmage and the scoreboard. Notable players thus far for KFC are Toby Twinkletoes, who thus far is very much living up to his name, seemingly able to dodge at will. The Varners may go into their next game down a man against the Slavers though, which may prove a difficult obstacle to overcome with their lack of pace - though they currently have the finances to rectify this situation.
The Subterranean Slavers are the other Round 1 winners, and the winner of their clash with KFC will go straight to the top of the table. The Slavers got off to an excellent start with a strong victory over the more highly rated Good, Bad, Furry. They look to have a solid lineup for the next game, though once again, they have yet to show any significant skill at this early stage of their career.
Food for Thawt have had a disappointing start to the season thus far, managing only 3 points out of their first two games, and many pundits believe the first game came on the back of a miracle play by their Mummy Robert J Oppenheimer. The geniuses were simply overpowered by the Dwarfs in their second game, and the lack of numbers told on their chances. Still, with a solid lineup and no permanent injuries as yet, Food for Thawt now look to have overcome their initial lack of ballhanlders, with two Ghoul recruits helping to prop up their predictable offence.
Next up is the first of the more experienced teams, the Brisbane Boncos. This experienced but unsucessful side started off their campaign with a 1-1 draw against the Tuff Nuts, and despite a very strong roster at this level, they will need to play better on both ends of the park to make the mark that on paper they should. The Boncos had to make some very tough decisions to get under the salary cap in the offseason, and they will be looking to purchase some new positional players to increase their chances over the season.
Coach Chunkwankerous (erm sorry, the Chunkomancer (giggle)) is back with his latest team, Horrors Heroes. The Heroes finished the first round in disappointing fashion, with their opposition scoring on a desperate last ditch play - to once again start the rumours about Chunknanimous coached teams choking in the back end of games and turning seemingly certain wins into draws and losses. The Heroes seem to have a solid but unspectacular lineup and may struggle early, but there are rumours about the Chunkomancer (giggle) using the TER to assist this situation.
The Orcs of the Tuff Nuts pulled off a draw against the more fnacied opposition of the Boncos in the first round, and Coach fabios is said to be happy with their performace thus far. The Tuff Nuts look set to throw a solid wall of green flesh at their next opponent.
Good, Bad, Furry have to be considered the underachievers at this short juncture of Season 10, having lost to the rookie Slavers despite a large advantage in experience. GBF look very nasty on paper, with a high carnage potential, but with only 11 players and the reknowned Skaven fragility, the offseason cull could hurt them in the long run. They will need to be careful against the Heroes in round 2, who will be happy to throw away Zombies to counter their more dangerous players.
Finally we get to the elven teams, bringing up the rear as usual.
The Celtic Warriors and Kings Park Rangers have yet to meet in their first scheduled match, in what should be a boring game of elfball as neither side looks willing to mix it up. The Rangers were my favourites going into Season 10, provided they can overcome their lack of depth. They have the benefit of a kindly first round draw against the Celts, who aren't expected to cause significant damage. Still, they will want to get an early start ahead of some tough clashes against the Dwarf later in the season.
There have been strong rumours of unrest in the camp of Celtic Warriors, with my mail saying they have hardly been on the training pitch at all, with all their highly priced positional players hardly able to stand each others prescence. Whether this opening lineup will prove to be a boon or a bust is yet to be seen however.
This is Cannon signing off on the MR Whippys Donut League preview. |
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chunky - you are eloquence on legs |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Jun 15, 2005 - 15:20 |
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LATE BREAKING NEWS
VLADIM OSLOBAHN DEAD!
In a shocking incident this evening, star captain of the the Blue Mountain Dragons, Vladim Oslobahn was killed tonight in a horrific injury sustained in stretching out in a covering tackle.
He was attempting to cover tackle Wendell Sailor of the Pro Losers II in a warm up match for the forthcoming Thunderdome Tournament.
The tackle went drastically wrong and Vladim slipped over as he fell and was impaled by a stray shoulder spike. Dragons medical staff FAILED to revive the striken Vladim and he was pronounced dead during the half time interval.
The Dragons were incensed from that point and attempted to snuff the Pro Losers out of existance with a rampant fouling display, but they survived the match injury free.
The game result, which incidently went the way of the Dragons 3-1, became immaterial as the enormity of the loss dawned on the crowd.
Statements will be forthcoming from other long term rivals of Vladims we are sure, but at this stage, the only official word was from SWL League Commissioner Mr Whippy who had this to say:
"Today the SWL mourns the passing of a true champion of the Astrogranite and one of the few founding players of the SWL still active today. The League, and its sponsors, extend our warmest sympathies to the Oslobahn Clan and to the management of the Dragons. I personally am saddened as I have shared many a Choc Ice donut and Lemonade at the SWL Headquarters and he was a true personality of the League. But I am sure that Vladim would not want us to be crying into our collective milkshakes, but rather lift our efforts to a new level.
Season 10 is but a week old, and many more will die on our turf in the coming weeks who by comparison, are relative unknowns. I urge all of the fans of the various SWL teams in all divisions to attend this weeks matches and think of the heroes, such as Vladim, who we have grown to love.
Rest in Peace Vladim, Game on SWL!"
And with that, Mr Whippy passed a box of donuts around the press gallery, but he was clearly not his jovial self and only took a mere 4 donuts himself.
The SWL will mourn the passing of Vladim, but there will be many more to replace him I am sure.
Signing off, Roy Blusterton, SWL Headquarters.
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RIP VLADIM OSLOBAHN
15 June 2005 |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jun 15, 2005 - 17:00 |
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Ed Harsh Here on Entertainmet Special Report
As the suppossed Sad news of Vladim Oslobahn's death filtered thru the training paddock here at Crowe central..a moment of silence was called for...mostly used as a chance to try and remember if we had any idea who he was. A quick look thru the record books confirmed that Season 7 had seen a conference match between the ex-champs and the Herd. 2-1 our way...and it appears that the ever ferocious Vladim had an off day..throwing 9 blocks to no effect.
But the moment of respect for a HoF legend couldn't go unremarked upon...so Lions has written in a new ode to the fallen warrior.
We Met You Once But You Said Nothing
Available as a b-side on the new single to be released soon! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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Sp00n
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
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Jun 15, 2005 - 17:24 |
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It's Zurk Greenskin here.
In what turned out to be the shortest game of the season so far, I didnt even get a chance to see halftime and get a couple pies as that was all it took for Soft N Fluffy to demoralize the rats named Pestilent Freaks in round 1 of season10.
An estimated 75,000 turned up for the game and as the rats scampered off the pitch in a last ditch to save their hides, the crowd became hostile and a riot broke out in many sections of the stadium.
The rats are now looking like the easybeats of the conference with a largely reduced playing list, its hard to see them coming back from there. And with those surviving rats being chased all the way across the border, it's unlikely we'll see their likes again.
Captain Ewing was quite agitated after the game. <i>Bloody yellow belly vermin, I had much more install for em than that! If we ever come across them again they wun even last that long.</i>
The win is a good start for the orcs who seem to have a strong list and could go all the way this season.
Signing off - Zurk. |
Last edited by Sp00n on %b %16, %2005 - %15:%Jun; edited 2 times in total |
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Smegish
Joined: Jul 13, 2004
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Jun 16, 2005 - 08:48 |
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Hi there sports fans, JaHosh Gawwad here back from holidays to give you Gawwad's Sure Thing Betting Tips for Conference in Season 10. I've unfortunately missed a few of the games, but I'll give ya the tips for the remaining games in Round 1.
Firstly the Corporate Fraudsters Conference (CFC)
Bogan Yobs v Black Crowes
The Bogans are hoping for a good start to the season, and they have some depth in their squad to work with, and against the Crowes they're probably going to need it. The Crowes have been demoted from Premier division, and they'll do anything to get back there. With only 11 players they could suffer if the Bogans can cause a few casualties early on, but they should last the distance. Crowes by 1.
SWL Losers v Women Who Wear Little
Both of these teams are fresh from Season 9's Regional Leagues, and will be looking to prove themselves in the big leagues. Both teams are missing players for this game, and that shortage of depth will hurt both teams. The SWL Losers have speed and their natural elven agility in their favour, but the Women should be skilled enough to stay with em. It's hard to call this one, and I reckon it'll end in a draw.
And Now the Mammalian Conference (MC)
Falling Apart Together v BrisVegans
The Undead in Falling Apart Together missed last season, and they are undersized for Conference. The BrisVegans however are not much better off. In the end both these teams are actually quite evenly matched, and with the Vegans forced to play shorthanded against a team that's only gonna compound that problem, I think that the dead will pull through to win this one. Falling by 1.
Good Old Days Return v Darkest Sides of the Suns
Two more teams promoted from last season's Regional leagues, they'll want a win to kickstart their season 10 campaign. The Suns do lack depth, due to cutbacks that needed to be made to fit under the salary cap, and that could come back to haunt them if the Good Old Days can cause some early carnage. I think that the humans will be looking for a few fouling oppotunities early on to cut the Dark elves down, and the pile on the points, and they should be able to manage it. Good Old Days by at least 2.
And that's it for this week sports fans. This is JaHosh Gawwad, tellin you to keep Bringing back the Biff! |
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Twahn
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Jun 16, 2005 - 10:02 |
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Edi the Birk here, Carlton Fans, I'm out the front of the Carlton dome and I've got everyone's hero Duke Snakefield.
Duke, mate, how was training?
Duke Snakefield, everyone's Hero: Peh, training. It's alright for the guys who need it I suppose...
Edi: So the news on everyone's lips is that Vladim Oslobahn is no more since a horrible tackling accident did away with him several days ago. Got any thought about that, Duke?
Duke:Olsowho? That has been who quit the leagues a coupla seasons ago now? Is he still making the news? Still playing on the weekends is he? Heh heh... what? He's dead y'say?
Shame, damn shame that. To think of all the hatred I used to have for the 'man'... it's times like these that make a guy look back at his life, y'know, look back and think... "Why"? Why have we wasted our energies on this pointless hatred, y'know?
There's no going back now though. It's hard to put that hatred aside after so many seasons, but now that Vladim is no longer... tell you what, I'm willing to lay it aside. Yes that's right, Duke Snakefield hereby lays aside all his former hatred for the despicable Vladim as a token of respect for the dead weasel. Not enough room for that there hatred in me now anyways, with all the joyful glee that's quickly replacing it eh? Harharhar! Bring me my beer girls! It's party time!!
Edi: Well said mate! Don't think there'll be a dry throat in the house once we broadcast... Oooh, here come the girls now!! Edi the Birk, signing off... |
_________________
Founder of the Southern Wastes League
DonTwahn's Dungeon = Cheap Miniatures! Check it out... |
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Smegish
Joined: Jul 13, 2004
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Jun 16, 2005 - 10:46 |
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JaHosh Gawwad here, giving you the latest game report from the CFC.
The Women Who Wear Little have defeated the SWL Losers. The Losers were in trouble before the match even started with Faulcon and Drokmar getting into an argument in the dressing room and refusing to play on the field together for the entire match, leaving the Losers short another player. This problem was compounded when Andycapp and JoeKano were injured early in the game, and with a few others knocked out there was little the Losers could do to stop Michelle Marsh from scoring just before halftime.
The second half went much like the first did, with the Wimmin dominating throughout, and Bijou Phillips scored the Wimmin's second. The Losers tried to get a consolation td in the closing minutes, but Gumbi dropped the pass, and was then pushed into the rather angry crowd and was not seen for some time, before being carried back into the dugout where the apothecary could do nothing to save him.
Overall the Women Who Wear Little were in control all game, and thoroughly deserved the win.
Women Who Wear Little 2-0 SWL Losers |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jun 17, 2005 - 06:19 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
Black Crowes 2 vs 3 Bogan Yobs
Well dear readers it was a sad start to the season for the Herd. They looked a bit anemic as only 11 players remain after the Conference cull...but their spirit was undiminished! The Bogans showed their speed early and raced in the first TD. Normal really...the kidz like to have a fight back. But what seemed a promising run down the wing for Gone was quickly snuffed out by a precocious catcher with Dauntless! Although Gone, for all his silky skills, has always been weak in the "survive the ball hit" stat. But with cover we were confident things would be ok. Taller, showing his Pro Bowl style, picked it up...only top join Gone in the "drop it again on a hit" THEN...well...Jacko, the Bogan thrower, went NUTS. Dodgeing and weaving and grabbing and throwing...to score a TD that the Highest Elf would have marvelled at!
Than to add insult the Bogans went on a whacking spree...culminating in the DEATH of 50 game player MorningSong!
In the Hall of Fame hunt though Gone is now on the edge of immortality. a CP and a TD see him on 75pts and really looking forward to next round!
Also of note Taller played in his 50th game as well.
Lions...who spent much of the match in his "special place", has honoured MorningSong with his latest ode.
Who Will Kiss My Tears Away
Look for it in music shops everywhere! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Jun 18, 2005 - 05:10 |
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The Krasherz' assistant coach and cap'n Kami found himself musing again. Musing!...such a disturbing concept for any self-respectin' goober. But with so many hours on da road, there wasn't much else to do.
Kami's musings were particularly random this day...
Images of Coach Snorri looking perplexed at the new dwarf (actually, the buff gnome Pappy Youngfellow) strutting around the Snorriheim bowl.
Kami was also thinkin' of his mates on da Krasherz, Red Noggin, Goon, Konundrum, Rock'ead and even spritely boofhead Stompa. Not a single dead 'ard lad amongst them, but all have helped da lads win games. And there's no other troll he'd trust bein flung by than Stompa.
And then there was that trend showing up in the league over the last couple of seasons. With the emergence of some exceptionally deadly teams, a few teams have found demselves beat on in a single bad game. With the fans roaring in rage over the losses, many a coach has switched to da dark side. Can't beat 'em...join em!
Aha! Any point joining 'em if ya can't be the best in the business at it? Maybe dat's what Coach Snorri was on about - train the lads to their strengths, why force them to try and be wannabe's in any other style? Like yer gonna beat Khemri or dwarves at their own hard-hitting, low-down game. Besides, life was gettin' a little bit boring with every team playin' the one style - not too many takin' up the challenge of doing it differently, win or lose.
This was all getting a bit much for Kami - strange thoughts given his days playin for the Krasherz were mostly focused on dishin' out the mayhem for the lads. A headbangin' was startin' and Kami was getting that stupid perplexed look that Stompa knows so well. Thankfully Stompa himself turned up right on cue and rescued him with a friendly nudge that propelled Kami right off the edge of the wagon!
Time to get da lads ready for the big spectacle comin' up....
Thunderdome! |
Last edited by Snorri on %b %18, %2005 - %09:%Jun; edited 1 time in total |
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Smegish
Joined: Jul 13, 2004
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Jun 18, 2005 - 08:40 |
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Hi there sports fans JaHosh Gawwad here to give you the C.F.C. Betting Tips for Round 2. There was some surprising results in round 1, and I'm here to help you decide who to put your money on for round 2.
Citadel Ancients (1/0/0) vs Bogan Yobs (1/0/0)
Botht these teams had wins in their first round, and they'll be looking to keep up their perfect records. These two teams are evenly matched, and with no serious injury problems for either side, this game will be a show of the best that both teams can put out. Both the Ancients and the Bogans will be looking to cause some early casualties to thin down the numbers, and if this one turns into a brawl I see the Ancients walking away with the win. Citadel by 1.
Minor Deities (0/0/1) vs Black Crowes (0/0/1)
And we go from the two winning teams to the two losing teams. Both the Deities and the Crowes will be looking for a strong win to get their season back on track, and I think the Deities have a better chance then the Crowes. The chaos boys are lacking depth with only 11 players, and a few early injuries could leave them too short-handed to hold off the speed of the Deities. The Crowes will need some luck and a few casualties early in the game to win this one, and personally I dont see em doing it. Deities by 2.
Wicker Men (0/1/0) vs Women Who Wear Little (1/0/0)
The Wicker Men are coming into this match from the brawl against the Asgardians(who have already played their 2nd round game vs the SWL Losers) while the Wimmin are coming off a win vs the SWL Losers. The Wicker Men are a vicious lot, and will be looking to pound the amazons into the turf before they get too many td's. The Women could hit back though, with the signing of Zara the Slayer for this match, she could make a big impact against the undead. This game will really be a test to see if the Wimmin can stay out of reach of the big hitters in the Wicker lineup, while removing some of the weaker players to give em a numbers advantage, and then just tying up the opposition while the ball carrier runs in to score, but I'm not sure how well that game plan will holdup against this ex-Premier side. Wicker Men by 1. |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jun 18, 2005 - 14:26 |
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Gidday pipples, dis Axe ere, wif a ruport of da game butween de Horrors Heroes and de Good, Bad, Furry. Dis game ended in a 2-2 draw! Isn't dat great - everywun be go home happys!
Axe liked dis game very much, dere was much bashin goin on. Everytime dem rat fings lined up to kick da ball, de Heroes bashed many rats. Dem Rats was very kwik do, and kept running around de slower dead fings. De Heroes scored first, doing it kwite easily in actyul fact. Den de Rats returned fire, after de first of many mishaps by Vorag de Ghoul, udderwise de Heroes woulda been in agen if he hadn't of fallen overs.
Den de rats scored agen in de second half - dere frower was reely reely good. De Heroes had anuver go do, and dis one was much harder but dey got dere in de end. De best player for de heroes was prolly Mr Hyde - who bashed some rats good, while Vorag kept buggerin up everyfing he did - I've ad better games den he did!
For de Rats it wuz de two of Revenge and Noisy. De dead fings tried to take em out but coodnt do it.
Fank you, dis is Axe syning off! |
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chunky - you are eloquence on legs |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Jun 19, 2005 - 15:50 |
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Are you ready to BLOODBOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome to Channel BB!'s Broadcast of the probowl final, we go now live to the Commentary box where we join our commentators....
<XanatosBloodhoof> greetings JaHosh and Bob
<JaHosh> Hi Xanatos, Hi Bob glad to see both of you in here tonight
<Bob_Borc> Good evening XanatosBloodhoof, looks like another capacity crowd here tonight for the all pro final..
<XanatosBloodhoof> Bob who to you think will win here tonight?
<Bob_Borc> where just waiting for the McWhippiys Donuts junior development program sides to finish up and we will be on with the big game..
<Bob_Borc> Based on their performance i have to say the Premiers are the odds on Favourites tonight XanatosBloodhoof
<JaHosh> THough I have to say the Fringers played very well against the Conference boys
<XanatosBloodhoof> ahh but the fringe proformed well in their match vs the conf boys
<Bob_Borc> Can the fringe match the devious experience shown by the Premier ladz, i remain unconvinced..
<JaHosh> and while we're waiting for the players WILL YOU CHECK OUT THOSE CHEERLEADERS! Wow they're lookin hot tonight
<Bob_Borc> cor, my Fav's the Ogre one, she's one big lady!
<XanatosBloodhoof> yes one of the great advantages of our spot here we get a good view of those cheerleaders
<XanatosBloodhoof> you cant go past the elves... mmm elves the other white meat
<JaHosh> They must have practised those moves for hours, its got the fans (especially the male ones) going nuts out there
<Bob_Borc> Take a lot to satisfy her, unlike Orca-Cola, satisfying from first drop to the last...
<JaHosh> and we're in! its game time
<Bob_Borc> the teams are taking the fieldfor the final probowl to wrap up sesaon 9
<XanatosBloodhoof> and its a bit chilly out there in the snow
<Bob_Borc> do you feel the weather may be keeping some of the fans away to night?
<XanatosBloodhoof> hell no
<Bob_Borc> its a good crowd out there nonetheless of 168,000
<JaHosh> Those stands will still be packe out there, they all wanna see their stars play together
<JaHosh> Looks like both teams are going for a very physical front line
<Bob_Borc> Premier are in a very unconventional screen formation for the defence, with Fringe to receive from the kickoff.
<XanatosBloodhoof> target has bone head must of gone heavy on the drink last night
<Bob_Borc> And heres the KICK!!
<JaHosh> and it was a shocker
<Bob_Borc> the Fanatics start their drive..
<XanatosBloodhoof> the prem lin just got hammered by the young guns here
<JaHosh> and the Prince ducks throw a hole
<JaHosh> Budvar follows him.......
<Bob_Borc> thats two receivers deep in the Premier Half
<XanatosBloodhoof> with lupis covering sllirl
<JaHosh> The Fanatics have a lot of speed out there for this drive, Antaka, Prince Michael, Budvar their gonna be hard to stop if they get into space
<XanatosBloodhoof> and harp goes for the pass to david but it drops it
<JaHosh> I dont think that pass was a great idea....
<XanatosBloodhoof> ewing knocked down by the tag team of saurus
<Bob_Borc> The Premiers go in swinging
<JaHosh> and Gone's sweeping round the Treeman
<XanatosBloodhoof> taller KOs the saurus
<JaHosh> that was a great hit there
<Bob_Borc> after a fairly disappointing last game hes here to strut his stuff this week..
<JaHosh> and there goes Target, looks like he landed heavily there
<XanatosBloodhoof> target hurts him self leaping over the chaos warrior
<Bob_Borc> definitely too much on the Sauce last night and it showed..
<JaHosh> That's really gonna hurt the Premier's
<XanatosBloodhoof> must of really jarred his ankle there fragile elves
<JaHosh> and here comes the throw...
<JaHosh> And he's got it! The Prince will run it in to score
<XanatosBloodhoof> and michael opens the score for the fring
<Bob_Borc> Harp throws to Prince Michael for the first score of the game, a quick one, does this bode ill for the Premiers??
<JaHosh> Still in the opening minutes and already the Fanatics have scored
<XanatosBloodhoof> taller must of really hit that saurus hard as he is still out cold
<XanatosBloodhoof> and we have the flying halfing team out there
<Bob_Borc> The Aerial Squad have been setup, unusual defensive set up that one eh?
<JaHosh> well if the Premier's make a mistake early that halfling could cause havoc
<Bob_Borc> and hes just the brave ma....er little man do that too.
<XanatosBloodhoof> and both skinks going wide
<JaHosh> and the weather has cleared
<Bob_Borc> and th sun comes out here at last..
<XanatosBloodhoof> and the snow clears up for some nice weather
<Bob_Borc> this could be a big impact folks
<XanatosBloodhoof> some poor hitting there form the saurus
<JaHosh> This will really help Premier, with Diver Derrick out wide just waiting for the ball
<XanatosBloodhoof> taller goes for the hit and is rendered helpless
<JaHosh> Some tough defence from the Fringe, they just wont take a step back
<XanatosBloodhoof> diver derrick scores
<JaHosh> And LOOK AT HIM GO!
<JaHosh> man he's fast
<Bob_Borc> And the Premiers show why they are the premiers with a one turn reply.
<JaHosh> And I thought the young man I found with my daughter could run fast, wow
<XanatosBloodhoof> lol
<Bob_Borc> we are halfway through the first quarter here folks and its 1 all already
<Bob_Borc> this could be more of a scoring game than a bashin game t0onight
<JaHosh> And the strong men take the centre of the field again, and prepare to pound each other a little more
<XanatosBloodhoof> with target off the field with a twisted ankle
<JaHosh> And here comes the crowd
<XanatosBloodhoof> and there goes most the fringe front line
<Bob_Borc> flooding the field for the first time and i wouldn't be surprised if it isnt the last time this game.
<JaHosh> that could be a crucial Pitch Invasion, that will definately not help the Fringe
<XanatosBloodhoof> its seems the only player the crowd wanted to meet on the prem side as gone
<Bob_Borc> and hes gone for a turn as he takes a knee tot he head
<JaHosh> And down goes Antaka, looks like he mistimed that leap
<XanatosBloodhoof> antaka leaps and lands head first stunning the git of an elf
<Bob_Borc> Whats witht he elves tonight, they all been on too much of the Bugmans XXXX? A real dwarves drink! Light on the froth so you can slam it down fast!
<JaHosh> There Might be something wrong with their Reeborcs 'cos da red wunz just go fasta'
<JaHosh> And Taller brings down Rene Rivkin
<XanatosBloodhoof> but does nothing but chip his armour even with those claws of his
<XanatosBloodhoof> and snorri lays the boot in to the saurus injuring him
<JaHosh> And Snorri puts the boot into Rghyss, looks like it hurt, but the apoth has come out to patch him up
<JaHosh> And Budvar put's Taller on his arse, gettin revenge for droppin Rene
<JaHosh> And Harp is lining up for the throw.........
<Bob_Borc> Lupis takes the contested mark
<JaHosh> And Lupis has it! He'll run it in to score the Fringer's second
<XanatosBloodhoof> and he throws it to lupis who had no troubles picking it clean out the air and running it in to score
<Bob_Borc> and its 2-1 to the fringwe and its not even end of the first quarter of play here folks..
<JaHosh> This looks like it's going to be a scoring fest today folks
<XanatosBloodhoof> and its been such a good game already with blood, great plays
<XanatosBloodhoof> and its only coming up to the first quater
<JaHosh> Looks like the Premier boys are looking to slowly drive up the field, with only one runner on the pitch
<JaHosh> ohh what an awful kick
<JaHosh> musta got the halfling to kick that one
<XanatosBloodhoof> or the BC just he miskicked it
<JaHosh> The premier boys just dont seem to be putting their all into these blocks, their not getting far
<JaHosh> Then again, there goes the Treeman
<XanatosBloodhoof> crasx takes down deepwood
<JaHosh> and Crasx sticks his thumb in Deepwoods eye, and down the tree goes
<JaHosh> OH MY GOD! Darren has just taken out both Mozad and Budvar! WHAT A HIT!
<XanatosBloodhoof> darren taking a swing at budvar and mozad knocked out and budvar down for the count
<Bob_Borc> What a way to blow a hole
<Bob_Borc> couldn't have done that good with a goblin hand grenade..
<XanatosBloodhoof> lupis knocks taller out
<JaHosh> and the Fringe are down to 8 players on the field, they could be in big trouble here
<XanatosBloodhoof> yes indeed
<JaHosh> And Snorri takes Lupis outa this game for the moment, he prolly won't be back for awhile
<XanatosBloodhoof> snorri taking exception to lupis knocked him out
<JaHosh> Oooh, Cunaxe gets wiped out by Khudis
<XanatosBloodhoof> its tense out there at the moment
<JaHosh> Oooh Prince dodges that hit from Srllil
<XanatosBloodhoof> a very costly mistake
<JaHosh> That could cause problems
<XanatosBloodhoof> khudis slams the lizard
<JaHosh> and Khudis takes down Darren and Knocks him out, a great hit there
<XanatosBloodhoof> and sarren goes out like a light
<XanatosBloodhoof> darren sry
<JaHosh> looks like Antaka just wants to keep the ball safe for the remainder of this half
<Bob_Borc> and another failed leap by an elf
<XanatosBloodhoof> and another failed leap
<XanatosBloodhoof> those bloodly gits of elves
<JaHosh> and yet another mis-timed leap, looks like their might be some snow left on the pitch after all
<XanatosBloodhoof> whap tries to lay the smack down on antaka but fails
<JaHosh> Well, the Fringers might just take their 2-1 lead into the half time break
<JaHosh> Khudis is havin a great game today, he just took down another saurus
<JaHosh> And need for speed cant bring down Antaka, it'll be 2-1 at the half
<JaHosh> some nice hitting at the end there, but they missed the vital one
<Bob_Borc> And both teams are off for the half time oranges..
<Bob_Borc> well we will throw to some of our sponsors before we start the half time show..
<JaHosh> Well again the Fringe Fanatics are showing their skills today, just like they did against the Conference
<Bob_Borc> Welcome back folks the teams are taking back to the field
<JaHosh> yes we will, a Shoutout to Reeborc 'cos da red wunz just go fasta!'
<XanatosBloodhoof> and bloodweiser the offical beer of the SWL ProBowl finals
<JaHosh> The Fanatics are kicking off for the second half, and they've fielded the halfling! those premier boyz are gonna kill the little bastard
<Bob_Borc> i wouldn't underestimate liuttle Hilbo
<Bob_Borc> you don't make it to this level of the game without some real grit.
<JaHosh> The Premier's jumping the gun here, and they look like continuing the pounding they were trying in the first half
<Bob_Borc> theyve secured the vball and set up a decent catching pocket
<Bob_Borc> and controlled the fringe front line very handily
<JaHosh> and finally an airborne elf lands on his feet
<JaHosh> Lupis gives Diver Derrick a hard shove, but nothing worse
<Bob_Borc> Andthe premier reply is a punishing sequence of blocks..
<JaHosh> The Fringe seem to have the receivers tied up pretty well though
<JaHosh> Xies is trying to break out, but Prince Michael is sticking to him like glue
<Bob_Borc> and Thsel...you know who i mean breaks out in the clear and the action shifts to the other side of the field
<XanatosBloodhoof> shamino goes down to hilbo
<JaHosh> and Hilbo gives Shamino a kick in the goolies
<Bob_Borc> He da MAN!!
<Bob_Borc> now thats grit!\
<JaHosh> Looks like the premier boyz have broken into the clear, the Fringers are all ,miles away from the ball, can they react in time?
<JaHosh> and Prince puts Xies on the ground, and he's out cold
<JaHosh> and Antaka trips over racing to cover Crasx
<XanatosBloodhoof> antaka trips going to cover crasx
<Bob_Borc> leaving Crasx free for the run hoime
<XanatosBloodhoof> but crasx still runs it in
<JaHosh> and Crasx levels the scores at 2-2, with plenty of time left to win it
<Bob_Borc> this could still go either way folks, we may even be looking at overtime in this first ever pro bowl
<XanatosBloodhoof> <covers mic and whispers> ill be back got to go take a piss
<Bob_Borc> <whisper> I know we are getting it for free but try to hoild off till after the game Bloodhoof.
<JaHosh> well that was a great tactic there, overload one side with receivers to pull the defense over there, and then hand it to the dwarf on the other side to wlak it in
<Bob_Borc> The Classic Dwarf Reverse play well thats a new one for the probowl play book folks.
<Bob_Borc> And on te restart the fringe drive deep into the Premier half
<JaHosh> Well, if the play fits, use it as they say Bob
<XanatosBloodhoof> <off air> ok im back
<JaHosh> The Fringe could be looking for a quick score to put them back in front
<Bob_Borc> Could be the little used Tunnel play coming up here..
<JaHosh> well there is alot of receivers waitin downfield for the ball
<JaHosh> Premier could struggle to cover them all
<XanatosBloodhoof> and all of them good at catching
<XanatosBloodhoof> shamino lays the smack down on Rghyss
<JaHosh> and Shamino gives Rghyss a big whackin, and he's out for the count
<JaHosh> Slilrl is movin up to put pressure on the thrower
<Bob_Borc> Prince Michael clears the way for Antaka to receive..
<JaHosh> Harp dodges past Slilrl, and lines up the throw
<JaHosh> Antaka's got it!
<XanatosBloodhoof> harp to antaka is good and antaka goes for the score after brushing gone aside
<JaHosh> and he's in to score again, 3-2 with time left for more
<Bob_Borc> Well we are here at 3 qtr time
<Bob_Borc> and we are setting up again.
<JaHosh> <off air> gonna go grab a Blood, you guys want one?
<Bob_Borc> <off air> yeh tension getting a bit much
<XanatosBloodhoof> <off air> thanx jahosh
<JaHosh> ,right so there's the Bugman's XXXX for you Bob, and Xanatos I got you a Surfer on Acid, cos that's what they had left, sorry
<JaHosh> Darren tries the multi-block again, but they aren't fallin for it this time
<JaHosh> Diver's got the ball, he could be away to the races again.....
<XanatosBloodhoof> and diver races for the td again
<JaHosh> And Diver runs in another to tie up the game again
<Bob_Borc> And thats a perfect ten even from the lustrian judge for the diver..
<XanatosBloodhoof> damn lupis hit taller hard coz he is still out cold
<Bob_Borc> this a game that still can go either way folks.
<XanatosBloodhoof> that it could
<Bob_Borc> Were set for the restart, the man in motion...
<Bob_Borc> and the crowd has rock Crasx into the injury bin
<Bob_Borc> at the kickoff
<JaHosh> And Crasx gets taken out by a beer bottle, looked like it was thrown from.........the commentry box! Xanatos whaddya doin throwin that!
<XanatosBloodhoof> opps
<Bob_Borc> er..........no it wasn't no it wasn't!!!
<XanatosBloodhoof> maybe i should try out of the a passer postional with that throw 
<Bob_Borc> <off air> are you mad we are in the his fan clubs section!!!>
<JaHosh> it was a good throw whoever chucked it
<JaHosh> straight between the eyes
<Bob_Borc> yeh..whoever......
<JaHosh> and the Fringe are forming a cage around Antaka, like he needs the protection......
<Bob_Borc> well...youve still got your bottle JaHosh........
<XanatosBloodhoof> extra padding to ensure he gets in the endzone
* JaHosh hands Xanatos a fresh bottle of Blood
* XanatosBloodhoof thank you
<JaHosh> It couldn't have been Xanatos, he's still got a bottle
<Bob_Borc> Meanwhile on the field its a nother Tunnel play
<Bob_Borc> but this is probowl and the Premier side have moved in to try for the shut down..
<JaHosh> and what a leap from Antaka, he'll score easily
<Bob_Borc> And Antaka leaps clear first time today we have seen an elf stay on his feet for that play
<Bob_Borc> and its 4-3 top of the 7th,
* XanatosBloodhoof has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<JaHosh> and we've lost Xanatos, he seems to have joined the crowd for the moment
<Bob_Borc> did he take his bottle again....
<JaHosh> and taller's still in the KO box, Lupis must of really hit him hard
<JaHosh> or he could be, ahem.... "servicing" the cheerleaders with Target
<JaHosh> and another shocking kick from the Fringers
<Bob_Borc> The premier set for another all or nothing play from the Diver
<Bob_Borc> and then clears through for the score!!
<JaHosh> And Diver Runs in his 3rd lightning td, oh man can that elf run
<Bob_Borc> again a perfect 10!!!!!
* XanatosBloodhoof has joined #Probowlcall
<XanatosBloodhoof> sorry about that
<JaHosh> decided to join the party in the stands for a minute there Xanatos?
<Bob_Borc> Well you just missed another Diver Perfect 10.
<XanatosBloodhoof> so score is 3-4?
<Bob_Borc> no 4-4
<XanatosBloodhoof> ok
<Bob_Borc> were all tiee up here at the restart..
<JaHosh> four all, with the last dying minutes still to play, what a game this has been sports fans
<Bob_Borc> Its coming dwn to the end and the Kick off may be all important for this one!!
<JaHosh> the crowd's goin nuts in the stands, there could be another Pitch invasion coming
<XanatosBloodhoof> ands it a quick snap
<Bob_Borc> Anf the Fringe jump the gun and rush forward in offense..
<JaHosh> and the Fringers are jumpin the gun
<JaHosh> and both Antaka and lupis drop the kickoff
<Bob_Borc> and rghyss smashes down the unpronounceable!!!
<XanatosBloodhoof> and pop goes the skink
<JaHosh> and Rghyss puts Thshll on the ground, and he's hurt bad
<Bob_Borc> Lupis takes the ball downfield
<JaHosh> and Prince michael trips over and knocks himself out
<Bob_Borc> but Michael falls leaving him wide wide wide open!!!
<JaHosh> that leaves an open whole for Premier to pour into]
<XanatosBloodhoof> amazing agilty for saurus there
<JaHosh> and Diver gets a vital hit on Lupis
<Bob_Borc> I think we are going to Overtime here Folks!!!!!!!!!
<JaHosh> and what a hist it is, Lupis is knocked out cold, and Diver's got the ball
<Bob_Borc> Fortune favours the bold here folks
<XanatosBloodhoof> and there goes the other skink with an unpronucable name
<JaHosh> Ewing puts Xies out of the game, that skink won't be back for a long time
<JaHosh> Antaka leaps out, but he just cant take down Diver, who's havin an incredible game
<JaHosh> AND IT'S OVERTIME!
<JaHosh> the Fringers are kicking off
<Bob_Borc> The fringe go to the kick and neirther side has any rerolls this cpould be sudden death here folks!!!!
<Bob_Borc> Both these champion sides are battered and bruised folks and its a another 8 turns to play to decide the winner..
<JaHosh> This is where we see the true greats stand out from the rest
<Bob_Borc> And itsa the kick!!
<JaHosh> and the Premier Coaches give the boys a little last minute instructions
<Bob_Borc> and the Beast of last season that crowd favourite gone who takes the catch from the kick
<JaHosh> Premier's forming a strong front line
<Bob_Borc> The grinder play is in effect
<Bob_Borc> They look set to show these Fringers whos the real bosses
<Bob_Borc> with an attempt to grind their way up field..
<Bob_Borc> and Snorri puts the boot in on Rghyss to keep him down another turn..
<JaHosh> Looks like the fringers are backing off a little bit
<Bob_Borc> they are playing the waiting game, looking for an opening
<JaHosh> Why wait for an opening when you can make one
<JaHosh> Those elves have shown why they were picked, pity the hit wasn't as spectacular
<JaHosh> ooooo Shamino takews out Rene, a big hit there
<JaHosh> and Whap knocks Prince Mike down and stuns him
<XanatosBloodhoof> <off air> i will have to go soon
<Bob_Borc> <off air> yeh i saw you with that cheerleader at half time, so i know why....
<JaHosh> <off air> hey man, go ahead we can cover the rest, just remember to take some pictures of her for us right mate?
<XanatosBloodhoof> <off air> lol will do
<Bob_Borc> And the prem are deep in the half with most of the fringe strenght blocked off..
<JaHosh> and Antaka pulls off another well timed leap to put Gone on his arse
<Bob_Borc> and steals the ball but he is wide open..
<JaHosh> But Shamino knocks him out
<JaHosh> That was a hit that had to be made
<JaHosh> oh man, the fringers are getting taken out all over the place
<JaHosh> There goes another one, that's 4 gone in this drive alone
<XanatosBloodhoof> ok cya all later
* XanatosBloodhoof has quit IRC (Quit: I am Nuffle's bitch, whats your excuse?)
<JaHosh> and Prince Mike trips over and goes down
<Bob_Borc> and the Premier take the lead..
<JaHosh> and Whap puts Premier in front
<JaHosh> the Fringe are starting to look a little short
<Bob_Borc> especially as Hilbo comes once more into the game
<Bob_Borc> but hes a plucky lad
<JaHosh> and the Premier launch a BLITZ!
<JaHosh> that could put the game outa reach
<Bob_Borc> looks likekthey can put a lot of muscle round that point..
<JaHosh> and Darren puts another big hit on hilbo and Reuben
<Bob_Borc> now the Fringe belatedly react
<Bob_Borc> and Michael pushes only Diver after he took a clean catch
<Bob_Borc> there trying to block but Diver has Kysht to clear him a hole..
<JaHosh> Antaka leaps into the clear, obviously prayin that Diver goes down
<JaHosh> In need of speed puts Antaka down and stuns him, so there goes thei Fringes only option
<Bob_Borc> Diver goes to clear but goes down on the failed dodge..
<JaHosh> and Down goes Diver, Prince Mike tackles him to the ground
<JaHosh> and Rghyss stuffs up a simple block
<Bob_Borc> leaving little Hilbo the only cover on the ball!!
<JaHosh> and Darren smacks him down a little further
<JaHosh> Gone's got the ball now, let's see what he does with it
<Bob_Borc> the way has been cleared and Fringe are in the dark stuff in a big way!!
<JaHosh> Well Prince Mike pushed gone back a little but he really needed to take him down
<Bob_Borc> A clever block from Prince Michael puts the brakes on Gones run for hoime
<Bob_Borc> he hasn't dropped him but hes done the next best thing..
<JaHosh> and Taller still hasn't recovered from that KO, Parkin just knocked him down
<JaHosh> and Reuben puts Gone on the floor
<Bob_Borc> a superb block there could see the Fringe Score!!!!!!!
<JaHosh> But HARP HAS DROPPED IT!
<Bob_Borc> But harp has dropped the Balll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Bob_Borc> NO!!!!!!!!!!!
<JaHosh> last chance for premier
<Bob_Borc> They must regain the ball!!!!!
<JaHosh> Cunaxe puts Prince Mike down
<JaHosh> Diver's got the ball, and the fringe just has to get him down
<Bob_Borc> Diver recovers the ball for Premier..
<Bob_Borc> But then is put down by Prince Michael ad the crowd hurls the ball back in!!!!
<JaHosh> Gary goes for the pickup, but he's down, and that's the game!
<Bob_Borc> What a finish!!!!!
<Bob_Borc> what a game folks
<JaHosh> WEll what a match, Premier just kept coming back
<Bob_Borc> And Gone gets the MVP for the winners for a solid performance.
<Bob_Borc> Well i don't know about you JaHosh but my hearts in my mouth after that one
<JaHosh> Both he and Diver Derrick had absolute blinders, they both deserved it but of course it can only go to one of em
<JaHosh> I'm gonna need a blood to help calm me down after that match, what a thriller
<Bob_Borc> BloodWeiser the drink of Champions and official Sponsor of the ProBowl Series!!
<Bob_Borc> Well we cross now back to the Studio for the followup and statistics from todays and all the other games as covered by Channel BB!!
<JaHosh> Well sports fans, that was a hell of a good game, to wrapup the Premier All-stars have defeated the Fringe Fanatics 5-4 in Overtime. This is JaHosh Gawwad, tellin you to keep BRINGIN BACK THE BIFF!
<Bob_Borc> <off air> and we are clear folks
<JaHosh> damn that was fun
<Bob_Borc> <off air> good call JaHosh, we will see you back again for next years Pro Bowl series eh?
<Bob_Borc> ...............
<JaHosh> absolutely, I'll be here
<JaHosh> thanks for letting me call the game Bob, I've always respected your work |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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| Posted:
Jun 20, 2005 - 07:07 |
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Ed Harsh...Special Pro Bowl edition
Well dear readers...what a finish! 5-4 in OT and Gone gets the MVP! Taller played as well but it seems the vetearn wasn't pleased with Gones on field behavior and spent most of the time pretending to be KOd! While those 2 represented the Herd it was indeed a Premier spread that set up the victory. The heavy line of the Slumbering skinks, the hard nosed guards of the Smashers and of course the show offs from the Flitter Mice all combining nicely to bring back the Trophy! This reporter was thrilled from start to finish...but in a first ever post match interview....Herd maestro , Coach ozjesting, had some hard words to say about how HE saw the match.
ozjesting: " First off I just want to say I am NOT happy with the way this series was run! I may have been the "coach" but once this mob of lunk heads and prima donnas took the field I may as well have baked biscuits for all they listened to me. I have had a LOT of hate mail in the last 2 weeks decrying the soft TDs scored by Diver Derrick in the first game against the Vets. And I AGREE! I HATE that uppity little Wood Elf and all his patsy mates! I had hard words with him and let it be known that he would be nothing more than a decoy if he even saw playing time in the final. In fact I sent Target, his poncy WD teamate, on a charge in T1 and he promptly failed his leap and was out for the match! Christ...what Balsa forest do they get these guys from?!?
So I indeed set Diver up wide in decoy fashion for our first drive...and imagine my surprise when the Fringe left the sidelines wide open! I guess they hadn't counted on the weather changing from blizzard to fine. Of course I HAD suggested that we play in the Dome...but NO was the answer from the organisers! So be it. Decoy play still was called...but Gone decided otherwise...of course THAT hard head has been carousing with Elves ever since he went AG4, reckons he must have a Wood Elf grandmother somewhere in his line. So instead of Crowe play "Power 4 right"...HE decides to slip the handoff and watch Diver run. DAMNIT!
Our second drive was more to my liking. Darren the Saurus and his Multi-block run were one of the highlights! You could hear the veins in Coach neverborns neck popping when the play opened with a 2d against block on his Treeman working enough to allow the 1d frenzy...straight to the woodshed for him! Then to see Darren send 2 more packing..well a thing of beauty. A little dissapointed in the finish though...a prime chance to get a 3d blk on a wardancer didn't eventuate when Whap refused to participate in a hit against a fellow woddie (MAN I hate those guys) and left Darren stranded.
I was so pissed that I sent the whole squad of speed sissies right on the next drive...hoping they might all get themselves killed...then whacked a little hand-off to Crasx the trollslayer! NO one saw that coming!  The little fellow did me proud as he skated up the line without even needing a stiff arm.
There was a chance to stall for the draw near the end of regulation...but wanted to show these ponces who was in charge...so we ran in the equaliser with enough clock left for us to lose. In fact I fully expected to lose when the Fringe came deep once again with us too short on defense. I sent Diver to make the saving hit on the ball thinking he would fail...and thus tarnish his prissy little elf attitude! Well F*** me if he dosen't do the job! OT was all but in the bag when we pounded out the score..and than a BLITZ came off and that should have been it. But once again Gones ability to hold on to the ball was in question as he coughed it up. In fact I thought that was it...here comes the coin I thought...but somehow their AG5 elf (ponces the lot of them) dropped the ball and that was basically that!
I would like to thank the sponsors for their support...but next year you can take this lot of over paid idiots and put someone ELSE in charge. I QUIT!!!"
And with that dear readers ozjesting stormed out of the rooms refusing to take any questions. Although one reporter has claimed he heard the coach muttering something about "destroying the Deities...F***ing elf gits!" But this is unconfirmed.
So there you have it! Pro Bowl 1 has ended...Gone continues his year of glory with the MVP and ozjesting (even if he is unhappy about it) is the first coach to have his name engraved on the winners trophey! Here is to next years fun! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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Symmetrical
Joined: Jan 15, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 20, 2005 - 16:10 |
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Greetings fans of sport! Klaus Von Crap back to give you the inside gossip on the most hated rodents in all of Europe!
Round 2 of Season 10 sees the Vermin match up against last years Southern Conference chumps- er champs- the Vanguard of the Southern Ark. Twice these teams have met, and so far eleven touchdowns, four serious injuries and one death have resulted from their clashes, with the results locked at one a piece. The Season 9 game against VOTSA went poorly for Germany, but this time Claudia Schiffer will start the game, and Rat lovers everywhere are hoping she will be at her brutal best. The match is set to kick off at around 9pm on Tuesday night, so be sure to get your seat early to cheer every Elf score and boo every Rat foul. Klaus Von Crap, searching for sausage. |
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The people's champion. |
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