Smegish
Joined: Jul 13, 2004
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Jun 16, 2005 - 10:46 |
 
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JaHosh Gawwad here, giving you the latest game report from the CFC.
The Women Who Wear Little have defeated the SWL Losers. The Losers were in trouble before the match even started with Faulcon and Drokmar getting into an argument in the dressing room and refusing to play on the field together for the entire match, leaving the Losers short another player. This problem was compounded when Andycapp and JoeKano were injured early in the game, and with a few others knocked out there was little the Losers could do to stop Michelle Marsh from scoring just before halftime.
The second half went much like the first did, with the Wimmin dominating throughout, and Bijou Phillips scored the Wimmin's second. The Losers tried to get a consolation td in the closing minutes, but Gumbi dropped the pass, and was then pushed into the rather angry crowd and was not seen for some time, before being carried back into the dugout where the apothecary could do nothing to save him.
Overall the Women Who Wear Little were in control all game, and thoroughly deserved the win.
Women Who Wear Little 2-0 SWL Losers |
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Twahn
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Jun 16, 2005 - 10:02 |
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Edi the Birk here, Carlton Fans, I'm out the front of the Carlton dome and I've got everyone's hero Duke Snakefield.
Duke, mate, how was training?
Duke Snakefield, everyone's Hero: Peh, training. It's alright for the guys who need it I suppose...
Edi: So the news on everyone's lips is that Vladim Oslobahn is no more since a horrible tackling accident did away with him several days ago. Got any thought about that, Duke?
Duke:Olsowho? That has been who quit the leagues a coupla seasons ago now? Is he still making the news? Still playing on the weekends is he? Heh heh... what? He's dead y'say?
Shame, damn shame that. To think of all the hatred I used to have for the 'man'... it's times like these that make a guy look back at his life, y'know, look back and think... "Why"? Why have we wasted our energies on this pointless hatred, y'know?
There's no going back now though. It's hard to put that hatred aside after so many seasons, but now that Vladim is no longer... tell you what, I'm willing to lay it aside. Yes that's right, Duke Snakefield hereby lays aside all his former hatred for the despicable Vladim as a token of respect for the dead weasel. Not enough room for that there hatred in me now anyways, with all the joyful glee that's quickly replacing it eh? Harharhar! Bring me my beer girls! It's party time!!
Edi: Well said mate! Don't think there'll be a dry throat in the house once we broadcast... Oooh, here come the girls now!! Edi the Birk, signing off... |
_________________
Founder of the Southern Wastes League
DonTwahn's Dungeon = Cheap Miniatures! Check it out... |
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Smegish
Joined: Jul 13, 2004
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Jun 16, 2005 - 08:48 |
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Hi there sports fans, JaHosh Gawwad here back from holidays to give you Gawwad's Sure Thing Betting Tips for Conference in Season 10. I've unfortunately missed a few of the games, but I'll give ya the tips for the remaining games in Round 1.
Firstly the Corporate Fraudsters Conference (CFC)
Bogan Yobs v Black Crowes
The Bogans are hoping for a good start to the season, and they have some depth in their squad to work with, and against the Crowes they're probably going to need it. The Crowes have been demoted from Premier division, and they'll do anything to get back there. With only 11 players they could suffer if the Bogans can cause a few casualties early on, but they should last the distance. Crowes by 1.
SWL Losers v Women Who Wear Little
Both of these teams are fresh from Season 9's Regional Leagues, and will be looking to prove themselves in the big leagues. Both teams are missing players for this game, and that shortage of depth will hurt both teams. The SWL Losers have speed and their natural elven agility in their favour, but the Women should be skilled enough to stay with em. It's hard to call this one, and I reckon it'll end in a draw.
And Now the Mammalian Conference (MC)
Falling Apart Together v BrisVegans
The Undead in Falling Apart Together missed last season, and they are undersized for Conference. The BrisVegans however are not much better off. In the end both these teams are actually quite evenly matched, and with the Vegans forced to play shorthanded against a team that's only gonna compound that problem, I think that the dead will pull through to win this one. Falling by 1.
Good Old Days Return v Darkest Sides of the Suns
Two more teams promoted from last season's Regional leagues, they'll want a win to kickstart their season 10 campaign. The Suns do lack depth, due to cutbacks that needed to be made to fit under the salary cap, and that could come back to haunt them if the Good Old Days can cause some early carnage. I think that the humans will be looking for a few fouling oppotunities early on to cut the Dark elves down, and the pile on the points, and they should be able to manage it. Good Old Days by at least 2.
And that's it for this week sports fans. This is JaHosh Gawwad, tellin you to keep Bringing back the Biff! |
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Sp00n
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
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Jun 15, 2005 - 17:24 |
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It's Zurk Greenskin here.
In what turned out to be the shortest game of the season so far, I didnt even get a chance to see halftime and get a couple pies as that was all it took for Soft N Fluffy to demoralize the rats named Pestilent Freaks in round 1 of season10.
An estimated 75,000 turned up for the game and as the rats scampered off the pitch in a last ditch to save their hides, the crowd became hostile and a riot broke out in many sections of the stadium.
The rats are now looking like the easybeats of the conference with a largely reduced playing list, its hard to see them coming back from there. And with those surviving rats being chased all the way across the border, it's unlikely we'll see their likes again.
Captain Ewing was quite agitated after the game. <i>Bloody yellow belly vermin, I had much more install for em than that! If we ever come across them again they wun even last that long.</i>
The win is a good start for the orcs who seem to have a strong list and could go all the way this season.
Signing off - Zurk. |
Last edited by Sp00n on %b %16, %2005 - %15:%Jun; edited 2 times in total |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jun 15, 2005 - 17:00 |
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Ed Harsh Here on Entertainmet Special Report
As the suppossed Sad news of Vladim Oslobahn's death filtered thru the training paddock here at Crowe central..a moment of silence was called for...mostly used as a chance to try and remember if we had any idea who he was. A quick look thru the record books confirmed that Season 7 had seen a conference match between the ex-champs and the Herd. 2-1 our way...and it appears that the ever ferocious Vladim had an off day..throwing 9 blocks to no effect.
But the moment of respect for a HoF legend couldn't go unremarked upon...so Lions has written in a new ode to the fallen warrior.
We Met You Once But You Said Nothing
Available as a b-side on the new single to be released soon! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Jun 15, 2005 - 15:20 |
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LATE BREAKING NEWS
VLADIM OSLOBAHN DEAD!
In a shocking incident this evening, star captain of the the Blue Mountain Dragons, Vladim Oslobahn was killed tonight in a horrific injury sustained in stretching out in a covering tackle.
He was attempting to cover tackle Wendell Sailor of the Pro Losers II in a warm up match for the forthcoming Thunderdome Tournament.
The tackle went drastically wrong and Vladim slipped over as he fell and was impaled by a stray shoulder spike. Dragons medical staff FAILED to revive the striken Vladim and he was pronounced dead during the half time interval.
The Dragons were incensed from that point and attempted to snuff the Pro Losers out of existance with a rampant fouling display, but they survived the match injury free.
The game result, which incidently went the way of the Dragons 3-1, became immaterial as the enormity of the loss dawned on the crowd.
Statements will be forthcoming from other long term rivals of Vladims we are sure, but at this stage, the only official word was from SWL League Commissioner Mr Whippy who had this to say:
"Today the SWL mourns the passing of a true champion of the Astrogranite and one of the few founding players of the SWL still active today. The League, and its sponsors, extend our warmest sympathies to the Oslobahn Clan and to the management of the Dragons. I personally am saddened as I have shared many a Choc Ice donut and Lemonade at the SWL Headquarters and he was a true personality of the League. But I am sure that Vladim would not want us to be crying into our collective milkshakes, but rather lift our efforts to a new level.
Season 10 is but a week old, and many more will die on our turf in the coming weeks who by comparison, are relative unknowns. I urge all of the fans of the various SWL teams in all divisions to attend this weeks matches and think of the heroes, such as Vladim, who we have grown to love.
Rest in Peace Vladim, Game on SWL!"
And with that, Mr Whippy passed a box of donuts around the press gallery, but he was clearly not his jovial self and only took a mere 4 donuts himself.
The SWL will mourn the passing of Vladim, but there will be many more to replace him I am sure.
Signing off, Roy Blusterton, SWL Headquarters.
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RIP VLADIM OSLOBAHN
15 June 2005 |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jun 15, 2005 - 14:50 |
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It's Cannon here folks with a review of the lineup in the Mr Whippys Donut Emporium League.
We're still almost a week off the end of the first round, but the lads in the Mr Whippy league have got out to an early start, showing the most enthusiasm of any of the leagues in the SWL - we'll be going through the teams in order of the ccurrent standings:
The Dwarfs of Clan Ironbeard have overcome a poor start in the first round to be our competition leaders, but are currently the only team to have won a game and played two. They'll likely be overhauled before the end of round 2. Still, they managed a good solid win in their second game over Food for Thawt, a match they would have gone into as underdogs given they were down a man from their first game. Now that they have their troops back on deck, they are a very solid unit, though apart from a spritely Longbeard by the name of Tain Ironbeard, few have yet shown much in the way of skill.
Next we have the Ironbeards first round conquerors, the hard men (erm Dwarfs) of Karak Varn FC. KFC put on a dominating first up performance against their brethrean, dominating the line of scrimmage and the scoreboard. Notable players thus far for KFC are Toby Twinkletoes, who thus far is very much living up to his name, seemingly able to dodge at will. The Varners may go into their next game down a man against the Slavers though, which may prove a difficult obstacle to overcome with their lack of pace - though they currently have the finances to rectify this situation.
The Subterranean Slavers are the other Round 1 winners, and the winner of their clash with KFC will go straight to the top of the table. The Slavers got off to an excellent start with a strong victory over the more highly rated Good, Bad, Furry. They look to have a solid lineup for the next game, though once again, they have yet to show any significant skill at this early stage of their career.
Food for Thawt have had a disappointing start to the season thus far, managing only 3 points out of their first two games, and many pundits believe the first game came on the back of a miracle play by their Mummy Robert J Oppenheimer. The geniuses were simply overpowered by the Dwarfs in their second game, and the lack of numbers told on their chances. Still, with a solid lineup and no permanent injuries as yet, Food for Thawt now look to have overcome their initial lack of ballhanlders, with two Ghoul recruits helping to prop up their predictable offence.
Next up is the first of the more experienced teams, the Brisbane Boncos. This experienced but unsucessful side started off their campaign with a 1-1 draw against the Tuff Nuts, and despite a very strong roster at this level, they will need to play better on both ends of the park to make the mark that on paper they should. The Boncos had to make some very tough decisions to get under the salary cap in the offseason, and they will be looking to purchase some new positional players to increase their chances over the season.
Coach Chunkwankerous (erm sorry, the Chunkomancer (giggle)) is back with his latest team, Horrors Heroes. The Heroes finished the first round in disappointing fashion, with their opposition scoring on a desperate last ditch play - to once again start the rumours about Chunknanimous coached teams choking in the back end of games and turning seemingly certain wins into draws and losses. The Heroes seem to have a solid but unspectacular lineup and may struggle early, but there are rumours about the Chunkomancer (giggle) using the TER to assist this situation.
The Orcs of the Tuff Nuts pulled off a draw against the more fnacied opposition of the Boncos in the first round, and Coach fabios is said to be happy with their performace thus far. The Tuff Nuts look set to throw a solid wall of green flesh at their next opponent.
Good, Bad, Furry have to be considered the underachievers at this short juncture of Season 10, having lost to the rookie Slavers despite a large advantage in experience. GBF look very nasty on paper, with a high carnage potential, but with only 11 players and the reknowned Skaven fragility, the offseason cull could hurt them in the long run. They will need to be careful against the Heroes in round 2, who will be happy to throw away Zombies to counter their more dangerous players.
Finally we get to the elven teams, bringing up the rear as usual.
The Celtic Warriors and Kings Park Rangers have yet to meet in their first scheduled match, in what should be a boring game of elfball as neither side looks willing to mix it up. The Rangers were my favourites going into Season 10, provided they can overcome their lack of depth. They have the benefit of a kindly first round draw against the Celts, who aren't expected to cause significant damage. Still, they will want to get an early start ahead of some tough clashes against the Dwarf later in the season.
There have been strong rumours of unrest in the camp of Celtic Warriors, with my mail saying they have hardly been on the training pitch at all, with all their highly priced positional players hardly able to stand each others prescence. Whether this opening lineup will prove to be a boon or a bust is yet to be seen however.
This is Cannon signing off on the MR Whippys Donut League preview. |
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chunky - you are eloquence on legs |
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OldBugman
Joined: May 05, 2005
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Jun 15, 2005 - 06:25 |
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Symmetrical
Joined: Jan 15, 2005
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Jun 15, 2005 - 05:35 |
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Greetings sports fans! Klaus Von Crap keeping all you beer drinking sausage munchers informed on the progress(or lack of it) of the German Vermin in Season X Premier. The first game for our furry fiends pitted them against long time stalwarts, Slumbering Skink. Stocked full of strength, and covered in almost impenetrable armour, the Lizard were far too strong in this outing, taking the game easily, 3-0.
Searching for positives to draw from this game is akin to searching for a needle in a haystack, with the only obvious highlight being the killing of Sshm by Miss Claudia Schiffer. The Vermin's recent inability to cause significant damage to their opponents has been noticed by their Coach, and he has announced extra training sessions this week. They will involve the slaughter of orphans, unicorns and puppies, just to try and reinstill that killer instinct in his charges.
3 Points #7 Kysht
In the Twahnlow voting, Kysht was the obvious standout, and recieves 3 votes. He was the difference between the two teams, providing strength and stability to the Skink's midfield, while handing out punishment to any unfortunate enough to stand near him.
2 Points #9 Thshltraeeay
2 Votes go to Thshltraeeay, simply for surviving the game, most of which the Lizards were without their medic. He also handled the ball distributing duties flawlessly, while his German counterparts fumbled around like midgets in a bowling alley.
1 Point #1 Ghsrss
1 Twahnlow vote goes to Ghsrss, for generally being annoying with his long tail, thick skull, and ability to look out for his team mates, even when under pressure himself. |
Last edited by Symmetrical on %b %15, %2005 - %15:%Jun; edited 1 time in total |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Jun 12, 2005 - 19:12 |
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Hi and welcome back folks, I'm Bob Borc and this is Channel BB!
Your all bloodbowl all hours coverage channel. We are highlighting tonight the Premier Division of the Southern Wastes League.
These are the ultimate in bad boys, the nastiest of the nasty, the elfroided supremes of the ever green field. We kick off our team profiles tonight with...
German Vermin
Ich bin ein Bloodbowler? Well the question could be asked about this filthy pestilence ridden crew. Personally i never much fancied rat my self and i don't fancy it now. However they wouldn't have gotten here if they didn't have at least something. Lowest ranked of the Premier sides on the Channel BB! rating system I don't expect them to be bringing home the cheese this season, although they may decide through the casualties they can inflict who does....They start the season carrying a few injuries and appear to lack depth in their line up however its a long season and it could easily go either way for them.
Zen Adepts
A long time SWL powerhouse team the Zen Adepts are just one of several teams returning or continuing in the premier this season. Last season was spent in the conferences where a solid performance by this team has seen them reclaim a spot in the glory of glories. Time however has been harsh on the Adepts and they may struggle this season. they are the second weakest team according ot the Channel BB! rating system but they have a proven record none-the-less. With a never say die attitude and a solid core of fans they may yet rise to the top to claim the SWL's finest prize. They also go into the season carrying some injuries however a lot of the old gaurd has been replaced with some fresh faces whilst a solid core of dependable players especially 59 game veteran troll Disciple Shariputra soldier on and provide a good basis for hope this season.
Carlton United
You may love em, you may hate em, you might even love to hate em regardless of wht you think about this team, show ponies or solid damn good players, they are back! Third lowest ranking doesnt seem to deter these chaps and historically when their mind has been on the game neither does anything else from their one true goal, and that is Victory. Still captained by the seemingly Immortal Duke Snakefield they go into this season carrying a lot of injuries and this despite having changed a lot of their starting lineup since the Season 8 scandals. Despite wanting to i really can't write them off. Theyll be a contender seasons end, why, because they wouldn't have it any other way...
Gumbeast United
The Southern Mothers Associations most beloved boys are back and where there mommies feel they rightfully belong. 5th overall in the Channel BB! rankings for Premier this year this team of well scrubbed gleaming skulls and freshly washed wrappings are carrying some injuries however they have a deep lineup and they're boots are well polished this season. I don't expect they will take the prize this year however they may well be one of the sides who decides who will. Ably led by Anders Hansson and Marvin Buffington just two of this teams several 50+ game veterans this is a side that will never say die......
Colorado Avalanche
In a mere 24 games this side has come from nowhere to the highest form of the game to be seen in all of the Southern Wastes. With a solid line up and few injuries this is one of my two picks to make it to the top for this year. They only rate 4th in the division in the Channel BB! rankings however i feel that that understates the beauty power grace and sheer terror that is the avalanche. A skilled and agile team, so long as they can avoid too many crippling injuries they should do very well, very well indeed.....
Slumbering Skink
A superb mix of raw power, speed , and slippery agility this team represent the only season 9 team to remain in premier. They are raw strength an are a mighty side in premier although they are only third in the Channel BB! rankings. With very few injuries their only concern will be that they have the least depth to their side of any in the Premier with only 11 players. Any casualties early in any game will be felt badly, they are going to need to strike hard and fast from the get go every game this season. With Thshltraeeay the Unpronounceable, the incredible 64 game 125 star player point Star and the redoubtable team Captain Krss this is a team to watch....
Beasts of Bowl
Second highest ranked premier team the Beasts have a lot to live up to, long the confernece bridesmaids this team was last seasons highest casualty causers in the conferences. Led by its four Beast Masters including Pro Bowl selectee Lucius this is a team that has lots of promise. A weakness however is there form against agile sides which has traditionally been a great weakness, if they can overcome this they should be a real chance for the title. However tat being said the remaining side could be there great undoing..........
Vanguard of the Southern Ark
Channel BB!'s highest ranked premier side and its second highest ever at seasons start the Vangaurd start the season as out and out favourites for the title. With few injuries and a lineup of good strong depth this side should have both the staying power and the agility to get the job done, one of several sides with huge fan followings this could be the premier season that sets new records in crowd attendance numbers for the season. Always exciting, always dynamic these Dark Denizens will be without a doubt the most watched team this season. With Two pro bowl selections, Blind Navigator and Hopp'n Mc'Cauldron this side has plenty of champions ready to carry the trophy.
Who will rule the Season folks and carry home the Trophy for the Southern Wastes League? Only the blood sweat and tears of these fine athletes will tell us folks, as they take it a game at a time. |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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Dravaal
Joined: Feb 05, 2005
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Jun 12, 2005 - 11:12 |
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-=Welcome all to the latest and greatest show down here in the Southern Wastes League, SWL on Sunday! And here’s your host, Icans Pell!!=-
Welcome one; welcome all, to the inaugural episode of SWL on Sundays, sponsored by The Revenants of the Realm!
And what a Sunday it has been, the Revenants playing their first ever game in the SWL, a momentous occasion for the young team. The team went out looking for blood early on, and found plenty, at the hands of the goblins, yes, goblins, of Really Old Oldie Guys. Things started off well for the Revenants as they knocked out one of the opposing trolls, but from there on in it became painful. Duke Alexander Marquis threw a block at a goblin and badly hurt himself, as the goblins successfully stopped the drive of the Vampire team. Plenty of KO'd goblins and the troll didn't help matters as the goblins still halted the useless Vampires. When most of them came back in the second half, the Revenants knew it was going to be tough. The goblins then took apart the Vamps, Niggling Sir Desmond Luther who failed to regenerate, a costly blow to the team, notably out of the 5 injuries sustained by the Vampires only one was delivered by a troll. A final score of 1-0 against Revenants, and Coach Dravaal was none too happy about it; let’s see what he had to say.
"Absolutely ridiculous, the team has really disappointed me today, if that’s how we're going to perform then expect to see some players culled. A more useless bunch of players I've never seen, absolute one hundred percent tripe."
Not a happy man, and to be honest we can't blame him. The Revenants don't have much to look forward to either, next week facing a veteran Ogre team that promises to tear them apart. Coach Dravaal had this to say about next week’s match up.
"It's shit!"
When questioned further he refused to elaborate.
Now, onto the interviews, and today we have with us SonofSharkboy, coach of the Really Old Oldie Guys!!
Icans Pell: So, SonofSharkboy, how do you feel about the game today between your Really Old Oldie Guys?
SonofSharkboy: It went pretty smooth despite that first turn KO of a troll
Icans Pell: Yes, your trolls seemed to be a little lacklustre today, don't you think?
SonofSharkboy: I expected a lot of cas
SonofSharkboy: well they are young
SonofSharkboy: compared to all the olde gobbos runnin through my squad
SonofSharkboy: I’m surprised none of those coots pushed up daisies today
Icans Pell: Well, they certainly showed their experience, dishing out four casualties to the hapless Vampires, how did this make you feel? You'd have to be happy with a performance like that!
SonofSharkboy: pain makes us beautiful
<A wry wink from SoS>
SonofSharkboy: we tried to beat up thralls
Icans Pell: Well, in that case Blood Bowl is a beautiful game!
SonofSharkboy: it was surprising that the vamp got hurt
SonofSharkboy: he was just in the wrong spot at the wrong time
Icans Pell: Yes, you managed to BH one Vampire and SI the other, coach Dravaal was not a happy man, we can tell you that much!
SonofSharkboy: hehe blood bowl is beautiful
Icans Pell: A few final questions, how did you find the opposing coach?
Icans Pell: and, what do you think your prospects are like next week against the dwarves of Blackmountain united?
SonofSharkboy: he played well and had a couple bad breaks. The lack of tackle probably drove him nuts.
SonofSharkboy: We
SonofSharkboy: are
SonofSharkboy: Dead
SonofSharkboy: .
Icans Pell: Yes, most people would think so, we'll just have to see though! Well, thankyou for the interview, we wish you luck next week!
SonofSharkboy: Ty!
Well, that's all we have time for today, we hope you've enjoyed the show, stay tuned next week for another exciting SWL on Sunday! |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Jun 10, 2005 - 13:27 |
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It's a quiet day at Snorriheim.
Upstairs, Coach Snorri can be heard rumbling on...probably been hounded into doing paperwork to get the lads ready for another tilt at Premiership glory. The premier team, the Vanguard have rarely been seen of recent times. Rumour has it coach has 'em on some secret programme. Time will tell!
Out on the blood bowl pitch a few scruffy birds chase each other as they fight for the prizes on offer from the last game. Now a couple of seasons old, the pitch is developing quite a luxurious carpet of green, amazing how fruitful a little blood and bone is!
Here at ground level, a continual procession of geriatric halflings waddle past, pipe in one hand, cane in the other. It seems they're all trying to be devlishly clever in avoiding notice as they sneak off to....what is that? A donut stall! My, my....despite their protestations about picking up the infamous affectations of the young and effervescant Whippy Boys, it seems they all still have a sweet tooth...err pair of gums.
And amidst all this hullabaloo (a very sedate, inbetween season hullabaloo one has to admit) something is definitely going on beneath the Snorriheim Bowl. Piercing the tranquil calm a tinkering of sorts can be heard...coming from right beneath one's feet - down where the Old Gaffer keeps Snorriheim's Gnomish team happily tucked out of the way and allowed to do their own thing without bothering the Coach (Snorri). However, recently the tinkering has changed tune...hard to describe it really, like it's found 'rhythm''. But that would be rather silly, everyone knows gnomes dont have a musical twitch in their entire being so there's no feasible way any of their inventions could genetically inherit. Still...something's new, and it's not so subtle nature is bound to bring Coach Snorri booming down to investigate sooner or later!
Boom...Boom...Bellow...Bellow!
Midstep Coach Snorri shifts back a gear and contemplates the situation. One of the security Bobs is promptly ordered down to investigate. Good decision - no point in confronting a dozen gnomes, they'll win whatever conversation you can manage hands down. At least with a Bob, so much talk just goes in one ear and out the other....
Moments later, a startled Bob re-emerges as he hurtles through the air only to end up in the donut stall (a small matter which the old geriatric halflings are not terribly pleased about, but too old and stubborn to admit otherwise)...
Trailing the Bob is a dwarf. This is the last straw for Coach Snorri! The reputation of the teams from Snorriheim for their agility has grown to such a point that the mere presence of a dwarf on the grounds is considered the most ill of omens! So in a huff, he strides over to deal with the pompous dwarf personally.
As he gets closer, he notices a few things. The belly isn't as large, nor is the beard...and...he was chattering! Dwarves don't chatter! A little bemused, Coach Snorri suddenly realised he was one of the Old Gaffer's Guild and finally heard the croaky old guffaws coming from the Old Gaffer nearby.
What happens next was anybody's guess. All of a sudden an army of gnomes had arrived as if from nowhere to back up their homegrown hero - Pappy Youngfellow. Pappy has certainly benefited from whatever strange tinkering has been going on under the Bowl - he's ginormous for a gnome. So, security Bobs and Gnomish army stared each other down while coach Snorri was left facing off with da Old Gaffer...and this one time da Old Gaffer wore a gleeful expression that quietly said he wasn't going to be his usual peacable old self today. It was a perplexing situation - eventually the standoff went on for so long everyone grew bored and that was that. Tis not like coach Snorri to leave things be though...having brawny thugs on the lesser teams would only ruin the reputation his teams have earned, not to mention that there's only room for one coach in Snorriheim!
(Pappy Youngfellow is the first Snorriheim lad who's benefited from a 'roidal +ST bonus out of 6 teams and 172 games in the SWL divisions! God knows how many skill increases that adds up to - didn't want to do *that* mathematics!) |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jun 10, 2005 - 09:01 |
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Duh... gudday folks, it Axe here, wif da first nomanayshun for da Play of Da Season!
Dat Big Hunk o Dead Burnin Love <reads very slowly> Robert J Oppenheimer scored da game drawing touchdown for Food For thawt mmmm...food, me hungry now. Anyways, me is normally able to run away from da uglier ones of dem mummies, who always seems to want ta press dere affekshuns on mes, but in dis play bof Rob, and Thawt showed enough pace to cachs me, and dey bashed fings, and Thawt plucked dat ball from de air wif da greatest of eez. Dis was inspiring stuff, and I reckon dis will be da Play of de Season!
We even have da replay heres, de play is in turn all de fingers and de toes of wun foot plus annuver, you can see it at:
http://fumbbl.com/replay/JBBReplay.jnlp?game=787781
Dis is Axe, da reporta who blows ya ... what?... oh, blows ya away - especaly dem nice orcses, we luvs them we do. Anyways, dis is Axe, signing off. |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jun 10, 2005 - 07:54 |
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Irite Stuff here covering the Horrors Heroes vs Food for Thawt match. It was tense struggle at Deadman stadium today, with both teams having only a few potential ballhandlers, both teams seemed to have instructions to target these players. Horrors Heroes managed to get in for the first touchdown after a struggling drive. The game then turned into a tense defensive struggle for the Heroes, however they were up to the task, and easily held the dead geniuses for the rest of the half, even launching a desperation play to try and score in the dying seconds themselves.
The defense of the Heroes continued to shine in the second half, with the aid of a positioning error by Food for Thwat they had seemingly won the match. However, all of a sudden the clouds drifted across the moon and a cold chill swept Deadman Stadium. Both Mummies showed unnatural mobility, with Thawt going up the road and round the corner for a Block, a zombie brainiac making another block, and then Benjamin Franklin made a crisp pass to Robert J Oppenheimer, who calmly caught it and showed a ridiculous turn of pace to tie the game! Surely this will difficult to beat as the play of the season!
And now we have the postgame press conference:
A cloaked figure walks onto the postgame interviews stage. His face cannot be seen under the cloak, and he takes some time to look around the room before his cold eyeless gaze falls on Irite Stuff. The figure slowly reaches up to pull back his hood, and its...
Coach Chunknanimous! A rather pasty looking Coach Chunknanimous. Chunknanimous points at Irite Stuff, and a beam of dark energy leaps from his hand - Irite Stuff howls in agony as he ages rapidly, till all thats left is a corpse.
With a wicked grin, Coach Chunknanimous begins to speak in dry raspy tones.
"Good Evening, glad you could join us here. What, you really didn't think I'd coach a bunch of maniacal Chaos scum without a fallback plan plan if things went wrong do you? I've been learning Necromancy for some time now just in case. In fact, that is what the TER was about all along fools, I now have the corpses of all the Twahnlow holders my teams have killed over the years, and soon I will discover how to get them on the pitch once more. Oh, and while we're at it, I'd like to introduce you to our latest player - Irite Stuff -
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On to the recently past events though - WE WUZ ROBBED! They had some sort of arcane superglue on the hands of that Mummy, under the guise of "Embalming Fluids" How else do you explain that play that cost us victory. If the management of this league weren't so corrupt and useless, I'd expect a full scale enquiry. No doubt however, palms have been brushed with transitory wealth, but you have not heard the last of this team. Despite the conspiracy against my teams in this league, we will win!"
"Oh, and I am Coach Chunknanimous no longer. You may now call me....
The Chunkomancer. Bitches." |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jun 09, 2005 - 18:18 |
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Ed Harsh here from the Black Crowe Conference Kick-Off Party
Well a big night for the Herd dear readers as the many of the Mighty Crowes hang up their boots and the team prepare to re-enter the Conference division. It was a beautiful night indeed! All the players past and present were there...and Lions was in fine form as he sang all of his hits and a special new song, "We Miss You Already", dedicated to all the outgoing players!
HardToHandle One of the "Originals" A stoic performer on the line...only missed 2 games in all of the Crowes sasons! His greatest moment was scoring a TD in Premier in against the Warlizards in a most unlikely victory!
BlackBery Joined the Herd early in Season 1..and instantly went to work against the Sewer Pipe Dream with a TD, a Cas and MVP honours! 43 games and a niggle later...this TD sneak and honest toiler now plans to coach in the minor leagues and give back to the game he loves so much.
HorseHead
41 games. Never a standout star but always solid! Really strutted his stuff in Season 7 when he took home the Silver Fist award! Now plans to do security work for Lions in the offseason.
Nebakanezer
After 38 games Herd fans are no closer to understanding this quiet enigma of a Warrior. He would throw passes against elves, cause Cas's against Dwarves and get the MVP in games just from a sheer force of will...but never really discovered what he wanted to do. It is rumoured that he was related to JealousGuy in some strange way...and the death of his mate never left him. Some have even suggested that the injury he carries was self-inflicted to honour his fallen commrade...but we may never know.
And there they go...all champions...all will be missed.
Also this weeks Season 10 round 1 will mark the 50th match for the now leaner Black Crowes
The only 2 players who will also be honnoured as having played in all 50 matches are,
Taller
Currently inthe Pro Bowl side...he will be back for his 50th along with
MorningSong
A Copper Slipper winner from season 4. Was once the main man in the offensive backfield til Gone arrived..but looks to combine with the Twahnlow Medalist this season as part of a new AG 4 combo..assuming his injury dosen't hold him back.
Now to the Game! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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