Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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 Posted:
Jun 09, 2005 - 05:28 |
 
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After the game
An indepth look at the Angry Asgardians postmatch.
Round 1: Angry Asgardians vs Wicker Men
Toonie: Well played boys, those Wicker Men really are a tough mob, but you came through in the end.
Anders Johansson: Was a tough match coach, but on that touchdown that got us the equaliser I felt something give.
Toonie: Get the apothacery in here quick to check Anders out!
(Apothacery wanders in and starts examining Anders)
Apothacery: He's fine for now but that could flair up again and make him miss some matches.
Toonie: Damn! The last thing i needed to hear was you gaining a niggle Anders.
(Former star blitzer and now commentator Lars Nielson enters the locker room with some glittering silver awards in hand.)
Lars: Hey guys, I picked up your Twahnlows at the award ceremony since you couldn't make them because of the game.
Toonie: Thanks Lars, Frozen Tauros and Rudi Van Winkle will be happy to see them. They were in a mood all game about it.
(Lars hands out the awards to Anders,Frozen and Rudi)
Frozen: RAWRR!
Toonie: Good to see him happy again.
Lars: So how did the match go?
Toonie: Was a good start to the season, getting anything better than a loss against Wicker Men is great.
Lars: How did the mission to send Sven to Valhalla go?
Toonie: The boys had him down and Baldur Thorsen sunk the boot in but he only badly hurt him.
Baldur: I couldn't bring myself to kill my own bretheren, I hesitated when i had the chance to do the job properly.
Rudi: Well i wish you could do as good a job as their guys did.
(Lars looks at Rudi questionly)
Rudi: I nearly went to Valhalla myself, luckily the doc was on his game today.
Toonie: Yeah but there was nothing he could do about Hans, now there is another one of our guys playing for them.
Lars: Well it looks like next time you guys play Wicker Men there will be 2 missions to send our former team mates to Valhalla.
Toonie: That will have to wait for another day, next round we have some elves to show how to play.
Lars: Where's that being played?
Toonie: Here at the Asgard Dome(c) on our new Asgardturf(TM). Funny thing is, this season all our games are being played here.
Lars: I will really be looking forward to that.
Toonie: Ok boys, hit the showers. we got some training to do. |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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| Posted:
Jun 08, 2005 - 14:33 |
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And the Twahnlows party gurgles its way on towards the night of Silver and Bronze!
Well folks, with da rush of excitement as the new season gets started early, we may see a few groggy stars doing their worst on the bb pitches!
Dis season saw some spectacular efforts in da Regionals, two emerging stars who could already probably slip into any Premier lineup!
Antaka from the Minor Deities had a stellar all round season, catching, dodging and running in for try after try for a record gathering of 50spp's! Absolutely astonishing. It will be interesting to see if some of the hardened opposition in the Conferences will slow her down at all. For her efforts she gets the Bronze Slipper, Ball and Star!
Noisy from da rats at Good, Bad and Furry is already a hardened vet! I dinna fink there is another thrower in the competition who could match his skill! An average of 7.35 yards per pass, 103 yards gained as well as 172 yards rushing in a single season! Even the skinks dont get close to that! He's a one rat team - now if only he could find some equally stellar sewer talent down field and these rats would be hard to stop. Noisy gets da Bronze Arm, Boomerang and Arrow! No-one else even came close.
Bronze Twahnlows
In da Conferences it was a much tougher affair. With the level TR200 playing field, games were hard fought for and there was less of a chance for stars to shine, but still they did, though the winners dont bring any surprises to the podium!
Despite doin the hard yards all season, the Angry Asgardians showed they're still the kings of blocking with Rudi Van Winkle and Frozen Taurus in amongst the awards. Now they just need to pick up their ball game - literally!
Clayton from Carlton United was the Asgardian's only spoiler, picking up the Silver Fists with a solid display of hitting.
While the norse showed they do what they do best, the elves did the same, sweeping off with the ball playing awards. Blind Navigator from the Vanguard of the Southern Ark and Adam Foote from the Colorado Avalanche make off with the Silver Arm, Boomerang and Arrow while Hopp'n M'Broomstick, also from the Vanguard showed she will be something to watch in Prem after wrapping up the Silver Ball and Silver Star with 8td's and 33 SPP's for the season.
The only spoiler for the elves was yet another Asgardian! Anders Johansson managed to tie for the Silver Ball while also picking up the Silver Slipper.
Silver Twahnlows
Well, dats it from yer favorite, charming old presenter, Bob Borc. Signing out and off ta look for the fastest way to end da season - at the bar!
(Don't forget to reward yer players efforts by immortalising their deeds in their bio's!) |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jun 08, 2005 - 13:40 |
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Coach Chunknanimous ascends to a rather larger than normal podium.
Good Evening Folks! I have a HUGE announcement for you all!
Introducing THE most dangerous and brutal pair EVER to grace this foul, corrupt league - bykhemri and byfreakingobbos!
(Two rather large and impressive looking Beastmen stand on the podium, looking very intimidating, and glaring at the crowd)
Weighing in at over 300 pounds of solid muscle, byfreakingobbos sent players to hospital every 4.33 Blocks last season! You look up brutal efficiency in the dictionary, this is the face you will see! His tackling skills are without peer, and he has demonstrated them at this games highest level!
And beware folks, for following in his footsteps will be the Beast from the East, the Goat with the Leaden Boot (now gold plated!) bykhemri! Despite many of the teams in Premier running in fear from us, mykhemri still managed a sterling effort of 10 bootings! We have no actual statistics as to his efficiency, but I assure you folks, from that 10 Boots he likely caused at least 17 casualties, including 3 referees!
Look at these fine specimens and despair in your ignorance miserable cretins! These fantabulous massacrists were left of the Pro Bowl teams you fools voted for! The two most burtal players in the entire Premier division last season, and you scorned them! Shame on you! Shame on you all you utter fools!
<Shuffling in the crowd>
Irite Stuff: Thats a load of shite Chunknanimous, they were never on the ballot - and that was your responsibility Chunknanimous you arrogant moron!
Chunknanimous: You whiny little bitch Stuff! You may have hidden from me on Pro Bowl day last Sunday, but you won't get away this time! <Chunknanimous starts to walk towards Irite Stuff>
<The twin Beastmen of Doom looks at each other, and give each an almost imperceptible nod>
<byfreakinggobbos burts forwards and delivers a massive BLITZ to Chunknanimous! The crowd looks on in awe like stunned mullets!>
After a long, uncomfortable silence, Chunknanimous is heard to scream MEDIC! in a voice like a death rattle!
A conveniently nearby apothecary runs over to Chunknanmious, and uses the Defribulator of Doom - Chunknanimous seems to be much better, though still exhausted.
byfreakingobbos simply stands up and points to bykhemri, who is revealed to be warming up that gold plated lead hoof!
Chunknanimous sees this, and starts begging for his life "No, come on, I led you to the promised land, you can;t kill me I am the master coach!"
bykhemri brutally puts the boot in, and all can see that Coach Chunknanimous is dead - defribulator technology in the Old World is only capable of one charge after all.
bykhemri walks over to the microphone and speaks in a brutal guttural growl:
INDEED |
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chunky - you are eloquence on legs |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jun 05, 2005 - 15:53 |
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Ed Harsh here on Special Assingment. Probowl!
Well Dear readers the Herd were well represented in the Premier vs Veterans PROBOWL here this evening! Twahnlow Medalist Gone and his stable mate Taller were both starters for the big match! And of course our very own Coach ozjesting was pulling the strings! From a very biased point of view our kidz did us proud! Gone swooped on an early fumble, reversed play...and layed off a neat little pass to set up first TD! Some crunching hits on the Vets recievers spoiled any chance to even before the half..1-0. Second half was all Flitter Mice really....basic play was Whap to Derrick to TD! Almost too easy really. Vets showed some spirit in the second half as well. Finally overcoming the onesies they strolled in for 2 TDs.
All up a nice bit of fun for the crowds..but not the bone crunching stuff we have come to expect from the SWL...seemed all the players were just enjoying the fun and keping healthy for next season. Only 1 BH (an earlier SI on Target was Apothed)...and even Taller was in a good mood..2 claw hits on a AV 6 lineman didn't even see a stun!
Here is to the commentary team makingthe fun even more fun!
See you in season 10..Conference style! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny!
Last edited by ozjesting on %b %08, %2005 - %15:%Jun; edited 1 time in total |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jun 02, 2005 - 16:46 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
Well dear readers...what a crazy mixed up season it has been for the Herd! Always struggling to hang in...threats from upper management that they were about to be retired, the GREAT UNSEEN spending more time in his lab than on the training paddock, and your's truely sent to the mailroom for a spell thanks to some "unacceptable" articles!
Well it is all behind us now!
How about a great big Horns Up for Gone! If ever any beast was the pure hope and style of this ragtag outfit it is HIM! While a Premiership has eluded him so far he has finally earned the respect of his team and peers for his hardhorned attitude and silky skills! SEASON 9 TWAHNLOW WINNER!!! Also add to that the Golden Arm and Golden Arrow awards....and a starting spot on the Premier Allstar Probowl team! Only the Hall of Fame eludes him...and it should come soon enough in Conference play this year! Lions has already written a feisty little rocker for his latest project "Gone Be Here" Grab a copy from all good music stores!
As the Herd gets ready for Season 10 look out for some big changes. In order to fit under the cap a few players have decided to hang up their boots...a full report on the changes soon dear readers...but for now
GONE! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Jun 01, 2005 - 12:35 |
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Bob Borc officially opens the SWL Twahnlows party with a typically boisterous, but polite, introduction.
The Smashers are awff! The Sm..., uh, ahem. Welcome one and all to dis season's Twahnlow's Party!
As usual we'll test da mettle of the best with a week long bash to celebrate are most famous and notorious of players for SWL Season 9! We be doin it a little different this year - we usually start out with the lower divisions and work up to the presentations for the Premier division and the Twahnlow Medal...but given the complete bollocks of a show in Prem this season we thought we'd get dem out of the way first! Despite the infrequent games, those teams that did show up did a sterling job in adverse circumstances to keep the spirit of the SWL going at its highest level - kudos to coaches BeefyGoodness, Chunky04, Faulcon, Ozjesting and Sandune!
The division ended up being quite a romp for the Smashers who were a little worried for their future in the latter stages of the last season. Blustering and bluffing their way past all opponents we all started wonderin' what the next challenge would be for 'em, since there wasn't much left to do. So it comes as no surprise to hear they are retiring on a high note, with much glory havin' been achieved in their long history. Good luck to em in Vets!
Onto da awards! Wif not many games bein played there wasn't much of a chance for the fellas in Prem to shine. Usually hard to do so in da best of circumstances with games being played at such a competitive level, but even more so this season. The one really standout performance would have to be from Kahn Rockarm of the SSS, who managed to tie for the Golden Slipper with a skink! What a freakishly stellar performance for a dwarf.
The most coveted award for the premier players, this season's Twahnlow Medal for best and fairest goes to that one man team, Gone from the Black Crowes for his consistent efforts to keep his struggling team on the pitch and competitive!
For a more detailed expose on presentations and statistics:
The Golden Awards
The Twahnlow Medal
Stay tuned for the upcoming Silver and Bronze award presentations! |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Jun 01, 2005 - 11:45 |
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Bob Borc shovels out the trash and hollers in a booming voice...
Only fluffy bunnies allowed in here! Usually we prefer the Shadow Forge kind, but it takes all sorts I spose. Am sure someone out there thinks good ol Coach Chunknanimous is a cute fluffy bunny....somewhere!
(ooc - keep the posts in character guys, it's our fluff forum!) |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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May 31, 2005 - 14:04 |
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Coach Chunknanimous steps to the podium.
"Its all a rort I tells you! The administrators of this league are simply biased against me. Have a look at those Pro Bowl - not a single one of my proteges in there, despite our success, and look at the Hall of Fame - we've have a number of Twahnlow award winners, and yet no-one in the Hall of Fame. It's a conspiracy I tells ya!" |
Last edited by chunky04 on %b %03, %2005 - %02:%Jun; edited 1 time in total |
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Miyuso
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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May 31, 2005 - 13:09 |
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Greetings Sports Fans, Carbine here with the Stats that you might have wondered about, but couldn't be stuffed looking for. With the Pro Bowl in Full Swing, It has come to light the number of players who play on teams for each coach. We have the number here, so enjoy.
Each displays the Coach, and the number of Rep Players they have in each division
Premier
Faulcon - 4
Beefygoodness - 4
Sandune - 3
Micheal_Warblade - 3
ozjesting - 2
Conference
Toonie - 3
Symmetrical - 2
Platapus - 2
Gumbi - 2
Snorri - 2
Bloodreaper - 1
Joekano - 1
Andycapp - 1
Anthony Soprano - 1
Twahn - 1
Fringe
Foolwholaughsatdeath- 3
ClayInfinity - 3
Drokmar - 2
Neverborn - 2
Platapus - 1
Micheal_Warblade - 1
Faulcon - 1
sp00n - 1
AnthonySoprano - 1
Deamonic Lazoth - 1
Veteran
ClayInfinity - 3
Drokmar - 3
Platapus - 2
Neverborn - 2
Miyuso - 1
Smegish - 1
Theopacman - 1
sp00n - 1
Bloodreaper - 1
Snorri - 1
And Finally, we have the 3 Coaches who has the most players.
Highest
ClayInfinity - 6
Drokmar - 5
Faulcon - 5
Platypus - 5
Perhaps an Award is in Order for those who have the most players. The Golden, Silver and Copper Star Builder Award. This is Carbine, Signing Out! |
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DM
Joined: Aug 13, 2004
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May 31, 2005 - 07:34 |
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Very clean looking pitch Snorri and I like the numbering down the sideline too. The dugouts are a little plain, but functional. Nice work. |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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May 30, 2005 - 17:48 |
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Hi folks, Kami ere once again with the latest juice from the punch bowl at Snorriheim!
My mate Kazi has been going trigger happy with his Kazikam again - the latest excitement is the new pitch they've laid on the grounds at Snorriheim! It took quite a few aerial flings from Stompa to get just the right perspective, but I believe you'll all agree this aerial capture is great!
If you want a similar stadium at your hometown, specifications are in the SWL Library!
(OOC They've been bundled into the SWLBowl Pack. If you'd like just the fields, copy across the pics/fields/smooth folder to your own bbowl directory)
On a side note, he's managed to get just the shot the coach was looking for - the Vanguard performing at they're best! And yes, that is the middle of da Conf game vs the Colorado Avalanche they were playin! Seems da Vanguard have lost themselves in all the hype and hysteria that's haunted almost every team at Snorriheim! When it comes to playing dainty daffodils in frocks, the teams from Snorriheim 'ave a disturbing tendency to be brutalised. Outbashed, outclassed and in an entire half of football they couldn't make a single decent play without causing a turnover! I don't know what's worse, bein a dainty daffodil or getting beat on by one! Coach sure has some problems to sort out!
More rants and raves on the game were scrawled, surprisingly legibly this time, by da Coach Snorri over 'ere.
Till the next snap, it's hooroo from Kami - live on ChannelBB!
Oh, one last thing picked up curiously from Bob's goblin lackeys! While collecting all da data for the Twahnlows we noticed a curious thing. Blind Navigator's efforts for a long bomb in his last game to wrap up the Twahnlow award ended up only counting as a 1 square pass!
Turns out that the Blood Bowl Consortium's standard instrument of measure, the gnomish wheel of sobriety can only ever go in a straight line - even when the gnomish tinkerer in control is drunk! And since we all know gnomes in the SWL are never sober, it is unlikely that they'll ever get it to do anything except that which it is designed to do - go straight!
So, the bottom line of all this - it will be interesting to see if Carlton's Yardley manages a scoop on the Twahnlow award for the best passer! |
Last edited by Snorri on %b %31, %2005 - %10:%May; edited 1 time in total |
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OldBugman
Joined: May 05, 2005
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May 30, 2005 - 07:33 |
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ahhh the sound of dissapointment on team speak..
I just loved it,
"yeah he definatly hand off and do a switch play for the TD"
"Yeah that definatly the percentage play"
sounds of agrement
BLITZ selected
Many a moan and groan over team speak. |
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DM
Joined: Aug 13, 2004
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May 30, 2005 - 06:25 |
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What a great game! Very entertaining and it was a real shame when the dropout occurred- I was sure there would be blood there 
I think we got the spec level well over 20 at one point and the Team Speak commentary made it very entertaining to watch and listen to for everyone at the game.
Can't wait for the next one! |
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Symmetrical
Joined: Jan 15, 2005
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May 30, 2005 - 05:53 |
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Nice work commentators, feel like I saw it myself  |
_________________
The people's champion. |
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OldBugman
Joined: May 05, 2005
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| Posted:
May 30, 2005 - 03:59 |
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Somebody going to host the replay or the results file? |
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