andycapp
Joined: May 26, 2004
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  Posted:
Aug 17, 2004 - 01:48 |
 
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| ClayInfinity wrote: | | It is with great sadness that team management have to break the news that star halfling Isumbras Underhill has announced his plans to retire. |
Well, even the 'ard Orcs of Wanna Beatin may even be sorry to see this true champion leave the field.
We played the Donut Boys in our very first game, and Isumbras even scored their team's TD AND avoided the carnage  .
I am paying credit where credit is due - this guy forms part of a team that is an icon in the SWL QPool arenas.
May he continue to hold the Halfling records until a worthy member of the Donut Boys takes his place! |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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| Posted:
Aug 17, 2004 - 01:03 |
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An Announcement from Mr Whippy, Chairman of Mr Whippy's Donut Boys.
It is with great sadness that team management have to break the news that star halfling Isumbras Underhill has announced his plans to retire.
Regrettfully, salary cap pressures plus a string of niggling injuries have resulted in the sad fact that Isumbras will be retiring after the Donut Boy's next match.
Isumbras has been a champion for the cause and he will be greatly missed. I encourage all Donut fans to attend our next match in to say farewell to this great champion of the game.
Regards,
Mr Whippy
Career Stats: Isumbras Underhill. Games: 31*, Touchdowns 27, Casualties 2, MVP's 1, SPP's: 90.
<b>Records</b>
#1 SPP Earner in Tournament Play for Halflings (Div [U])
#1 TD Scorer in Tournament Play for Halflings (Div [U])
#5 Highest Scoring Halfling of All Time (all divisions)! |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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| Posted:
Aug 16, 2004 - 18:25 |
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Hi! Bob Borc reporting again for Channel BB!
Well the qualifying pool is underway again with some of our old favourites once more putting in and some new faces entering the league.
The ever redoubtable rotundly reliable Mr Whippy's Donut Boyshave once again stepped forward in their league development role and commenced he season with a gruelling draw, aaah the smell of fresh donuts in the morning. it wouldn't be the qualifiers without em.
Two of the more interesting New teams to answer the call and take the first big step on the ladder to premier this season are the Picanic Munchers and the Counts of the Southern Wastes and lets all give em a hearty and rousing welcome.
This reporter will be watching closely the Snake Skins this season who kicked off in there qualifier debut with a solid 2-1 win and I will also be keeping an eye on Hells Gatekeepers who with a couple of stunning victories already look to be a team t watch.............
Never discount the quality of the games in the Pool ladies and gentlemen for these are where the stars of the future in the SWL will be coming from.............. |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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| Posted:
Aug 16, 2004 - 11:41 |
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<b>Southern Waste League VI – Premier Division Preview</b>
<i>as told by Mr Whippy, Chairman of Mr Whippy’s Donut Boys and Official League Hanger-on-erer</i>
Well, here we are… the league has gone through a massive realignment and expansion and we are now set for the largest season ever!
137 teams of all races, creeds and colour line up to participate in the Southern Wastes League! Unbelievable!
Six seasons ago, 13 teams lined up and now we have 10 fold that number and we culminate in the biggest extravaganza of Blood Bowl that the Southern Wastes are unlikely to see again.
With that many teams, it is impossible to review each teams chances. Some teams we just don’t care about much, others the public waits with baited breath to find out the latest gossip.
For example, the <b>Premier Division</b>, the one that truly counts, appears to be a very tight race. Last year, the Blue Mountain Dragons stormed to the title but this year, the Zen Adepts will be screaming to reclaim what the believe is rightfully theirs. Overall the division is an attractive one with the addition of two Lizard teams and the old stayers of the passing game the Maniac Mammallians II and the relative new, but equally adept Prince Reagents and the Lords of War.
The big news of course this week is that Carlton United have been rocked by the injury to team captain Duke Snakefield is has a sore groin (*snigger*) and will miss the opening day of the season!
Overall, I believe the title will come from one of either the Blue Mountain Dragons or the Zen Adepts with pressure from the two Lizard representatives the Slumbering Skink and the Warlizards.
Good luck to all teams! All 137 of you! |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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| Posted:
Aug 16, 2004 - 10:26 |
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Irite Stuff here as the celebrations following I-House's dramatic ascension to Picnic winners are in full swing!
In an outstanding double-header here at Boutin Stadium, I-House knocked off it's old rivals the Black Crowes and the Southside Stone Smashers to lay claim to the title!
In the first match, the heated rivalry between the Crowes and I-House continued, but it seemed something was missing. Despite a dominating first half, the Crowes were unable to do any significant damage on I-House, and I-House likewise failed to administer any fatal kickings. It seemed the mad scrambling pace of the match had meant the passion of the players was expressed in desperate last ditch efforts rather than powerful blitzes. I-House returned fire in the second half, some timely KO's paving the way for a TD halfway through the second half. It would all come down to the last drive it seemed, would either team manage to take advantage and win, or would I-House see their stamina tested in yet another overtime game. A crucial handling error by the Crowes gave I-House the crack of light they needed, and I-House promptly burst through to secure the victory, but were sobered by the news that they would be facing their nemesis, the Southside Stone Smashers, the only team to have beaten I-House on multiple occasions.
After resting and recuperating, I-House were nervous but confident in the rareified air of the Picnic Final. In one of the stories that will be recounted while ever SWL exists, I-House finally lived up to their own press clippings. The Smashers had defeated I-House on both of their two previous meetings, playing almost flawless, mistake free Blood Bowl. Under the bright lights of the Picnic final however, they finally lost their composure, and a series of handling errors allowed I-House, buoyed by their string of strong victories in a slew of blockbuster matches, finally held their nerve to take the title.
I am informed I have once again secured an interview with Coach Chunknanimous folks.
IS: Coach, after all you have been through with this team, how does it feel to finally see them live up to the potential many have been predicting for so long.
Chunk: I really am lost for words. Did you see that final game? Finally, it's like all the beatings and sledging I've indulged in with this team has paid off. They finally stuck around to mix it up with those Dwarfs, you could see they wanted it out there today, they were dropping like flies and still they kept getting stuck here. Even Axe got in there this time, he was glorious, smacked two off those Dwarfs so hard they won't even know what happened till next week. Of course that's only made him more popular, and he's had it put in his contract that he can miss one game every 6 now, but he finally showed us something on the pitch rather than off it. It's amaxing, it's just...... <breaks into tears>..... I'm sorry Irite, but I just...this... <Coach Chunknamnimous heads off towards the bar, trying to hide his crying>
Well folks a very emotional Coach Chunknanimous there, quite understandable considering the history of this team however. We know now go to MVP of the Picnic Final Camo II, for an update on the future of this team.
IS: Well Camo, how do you think this victory bodes for the future of this team? I hear you've got the play the Dastardly Dwarfs later this week.
Camo: Wooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! Who cares Urite Stuff it up yer bum or whatever your name is, we just won the bloody picnic! I don't give a toss who we've got later on in the week, or what happens in the Conference League, this is what we all play Blood Bowl for, and it seems silly to me to not enjoy it and party like a madman when it happens! Stuff the Dastardly Dwarfs, stuff with spatulas and donkeys and whipped cream for all I care! We are the champs! <Walks off toward the cheerleaders with a lascivious grin on his face>
Irite Stuff: Well there you have it viewers, it certainly seems as though there taking those Dwarfs far too casually at the moment, it's sure to be an interesting match! |
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chunky - you are eloquence on legs |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 15, 2004 - 13:01 |
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Regionals B(est not to be bashy?) has kicked off with quite a bit of drama that wasn't expected in just the second match of the round between Snorri's Krasherz and JoeKano's Beasts of Bowl. Down to the line with the Beast's favourite journo Bob Borc (no self-respecting orc has yet stepped forward to do some journo'ing for the misnomered Krasherz!) for more details!
Bob: Well today it looks as if we're going to hear from the Krasherz' mighty little goober Kami - he doesn't seem too keen on letting anyone else jump in, let alone queue up behind him!
Kami:Flamin' softie blobs of protoplasm! Nary a single scary mofo on that field - apart from yours truly of course! What an embarrassing disgrace. That game was softer than the extra padding the donuts boyz seem to be carrying around!
Bob: But it was a good win, no?
Kami: Ya call that a win? Not a single hurt in the entire game! Nill all - zip. Cept for the one the fans caused. Congratz to da fanz on a good win! But da most depressing thing is the boyz game seems to be infecting the other ladz in the region. Even the Beasts' ogre when not bein a bonehead could only manage to sit down da back making passes to his pet cows.
Bob: So where to from now?
Kami: I dunno. I thought the ladz were catching on after that whoppa of a game against the Duke's boyz. Now - how do I convince da fanz we're truly green! Might have to whack some sense into da coach. |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Aug 13, 2004 - 17:39 |
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<Theme song and opening credits for Channel BB!'s long running prize winning BloodBowl reporting show Talking BloodBowl!>
HI! This is Bob Borc here,your first and favourite Channel BB! reporter, winner of the coveted Bloodied Knuckles Journalism Award two years running. We have a great show tonight for you all.
After much discussion in the highest offices of SWL House the draw for the new season, Season 6 is beginning to emerge with the new Regional Divisions and the junior development league The Little League both getting off to a strong start. The final rounds of The Gentlemens Picnic are coming up and we will preview these crucial games tonight on Talking BloodBowl!
<ad break, then return to the studio and Bob Borc's seamless, unwrinkled smiling face, you gotta love Botox huh?>
Well its the Semi Finals of the picnic and its been a long hard lunch time for these four remaining teams. They have put in and played 'ard
First up we look at the Southside Stone Smashers v's Prince Reagents Semi Final.
The Smashers have had their usual solid performances to get them to this point in the Picnic. These 13 stout dwarves have stared down and beaten some tough opponents with good solid performances. They go into the semi with not a single member of their lineup carrying an injury and look to have a hitting game that few other teams can match. But this is BloodBowl and whilst the Fans love to see sprays of it flying everywhere and these lads have delivered in the past in vast quantites it scoring that wins the trophies and the Smashers may be a little too dour and stocky for their opponents the....
Prince Reagents have had a marvellous run throught the picnic with strong and convincing wins at all stages, whilst only 12 men strong they have shown a remarkable propensity to avoid hurt on a large scale. They are carrying a couple of worrying injuries , I expoect though that they will try to use their superior mobility to stay out of the dwarves clutches as much as possible and try to get as much time with the inflated pigs bladder as they can.
If the Reagents can play a good game of keepings off they should walk away with a win, if they fail to avoid matchups with the dwarves of the smashers that will let them lay in and maybe, Nuffle forbid, avoid having to use the services of their team surgeon for at least the first half they should see themselves well informed of this. I am going to put the Reagents as up by one at full time and thereby give em the Borc's Kiss of Death!
After this break for some affilaite news and local channel announcement's we will preview the 2nd Semi Final...
< fade to graphic, then ad's, then bring the studio up and once again gaze on the youthful face of Bob Borc>
Hi Folks if you have joined us this is our picnic semi finals, coming up in the next few days, and let us move on to the 2nd match up ...
Black Crowes V's I-House Semi Final sees these two teams pitted against each other for the fourth time in their careers, witha record between them of 1/1/1 we are expecting a tight and fierce game out of this semi final.
The Black Crowes have had a good run through the picnic getting the score on the board but they go into the I House game carrying several injuries and missing two solid players. They have shown they can bash, ball and take it on home. With a full and experienced roster the Crowes will still have a lot of depth going into this game...
I-House have had a long tough and hard slog through the preliminaries facing and defeating some tough sides. All of this has had a tough toll on the team but they appear to be in good spirits and have trained well this week and are firing and ready to go. I like I -House style and never say never attitude.
With both sides recently being able to hold there own in the blocking and grinding stakes this ones going to come downs to how well they move the Ball around, but i think that I-House will win this one and head to the finals by a single Touch Down.
Both games promise to be right crackers and well worth the watch so buy your tickets now!
Our Magazine Cover Story for tonight is the reaction to this seasons draw and we will cross now to our panel discussion....
<Fade from Studio> |
_________________
"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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| Posted:
Aug 01, 2004 - 16:54 |
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Well Joe, it looks like I was so keen on this report I posted it twice!
Irite Stuff here with another interview with Coach Chunknanimous.
IS: So Coach, tell us a bit about the gameplan going into this game.
Chunk: There bloody well wasn't one! We thought we were going to be playing some damnable Chaos Dwarfs who never showed, and then we were rushed into this matchup with the Orcs. It's a bloodt conspiracy I tells you!
As to the match, we were damned lucky those Orcs seemed to want to smack our players heads in a bit much, not that you can blame them. Fortunately for us, they weren't particularly successful, and their obsession gave us a few openings we really didn't deserve after one of our typically soft performances. |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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| Posted:
Aug 01, 2004 - 16:51 |
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[22:17] <chunky04> Well Joe, I-House look to be setting up for one of their patented two turn flank drives down the topside of the pitch
[22:18] <JoeKano-ig> no, its a blitz!!!!!!!!
[22:18] <chunky04> Think about the pressure on there rookie thrower Camo II, in only his second game
[22:18] <chunky04> The blitz will really force him to think on his feet here
[22:19] <chunky04> The Tide begin with knocking over Big Gay Axe
[22:19] <chunky04> then move into good position
[22:20] <chunky04> attempting to put a crimp on I-House's catchers
[22:21] <JoeKano-ig> and the ball goes deep in i houses back filed
[22:21] <chunky04> of course, should the ball go out, they may be caught flat footed if I-House get a touchback
[22:21] <JoeKano-ig> field
[22:21] <JoeKano-ig> but it stays in
[22:22] <JoeKano-ig> I house start their drive
[22:22] <JoeKano-ig> reorienting thier axis of advance
[22:22] <JoeKano-ig> oh htaTS A FOUL BLOW TO THE NADS ON cRUSHEM
[22:23] <JoeKano-ig> Diltzt and Cannon fall back tp support Camo II
[22:24] <chunky04> yes it was Joe, but it appears Crushems nuts weren't umm crushed, and he manages to stay on the pitch, though I imagine he'll be feeling that for a while
[22:24] <chunky04> and Axe has once more headed off to the ko box
[22:25] <chunky04> Could he be hoping for a reunion with that special someone from Season 4?
[22:26] <JoeKano-ig> The Tide are smashing their way downfield in adesperate attempt to get to the ball
[22:26] <JoeKano-ig> maybe Chunk, Maybe
[22:26] <chunky04> I-House have a number of players down, but if they can get clear, surely the Tide's lack of pace will tell
[22:26] <JoeKano-ig> And Brittus also goes to tspend some time in the box
[22:27] <JoeKano-ig> Camo scoops the ball and passes to Mick ellem who takes off down the field like a bat outtsa hell
[22:28] <chunky04> Very impressed with the rookie's coolness under pressure Joe
[22:28] <chunky04> The few Orc players down get up, as the Tide pause to regroup
[22:30] <chunky04> Kill Ratz moves to force I-House to score quickly, as the rest of the Tide get to bashin!
[22:31] <JoeKano-ig> the tide turn on the I house players realising that Micky was too quick
[22:31] <chunky04> which they promptly do, and Joe, I believe Micky Ellem has finally earnt that third skill
[22:31] <JoeKano-ig> their desperate ploy of putting pressure on the passer has failed
[22:32] <JoeKano-ig> if he lives through the game chunky04
[22:32] <chunky04> Obviously Axe's rendesvous didn't work out, as he's back on the pitch and raring to go!
[22:32] <JoeKano-ig> Brittus has found the soft pillows though
[22:33] <JoeKano-ig> And now I house swing over to defence
[22:33] <JoeKano-ig> well chunky04 offence has not beena strong point for the tide this season so this may be a good strategy here by I house
[22:34] <chunky04> I-House's depth will really be tested on the defense Joe, as the premature firing of their Blitzer last game means they'll be fielding two catchers on defence
[22:34] <chunky04> I-House appear to be going for a raiding setup with contingencies
[22:35] <JoeKano-ig> that will add vital speed to the defence though
[22:35] <JoeKano-ig> heres the kick
[22:36] <chunky04> I-House kicks right to the middle
[22:37] <chunky04> The Tide begin their drive with some less than impactful blocking
[22:37] <chunky04> As the crowd begins to get restless at the lack of blood
[22:39] <chunky04> and Doo something gets a little smart, not living up to his name at all, throwing a perfect pass to the Tide's thrower
[22:39] <JoeKano-ig> solid opening to the drive there by the Tide but little bashing due tot he deep defensive placement of I house
[22:39] <chunky04> Tide turns ends with the ball in the comfortable hands of pushem
[22:39] <JoeKano-ig> the ball is taken forward and brought up to pushem
[22:40] <JoeKano-ig> Kev Jr does something to make him the envy of elves every where to blitz Pushem , spilling the ball but it lands with
[22:40] <JoeKano-ig> Kill Ratz!
[22:41] <chunky04> He's really having a good game Joe, popping up in all the right places
[22:41] <chunky04> That could have been ugly for the tide if I-House had managed to snaggle the ball
[22:42] <chunky04> and continuing a trend, Axe goes down, this time his small brain somehow got stunned!
[22:42] <chunky04> and the Axehads begin to chant!
[22:43] <chunky04> The Tide cover Kev Jr while planning where to move the ball
[22:44] <chunky04> and Kill Ratz takes the safe option and moves into a cage of Orc flesh
[22:44] <JoeKano-ig> looks like they have gone defensive boxing up in a semi open formation
[22:44] <JoeKano-ig> alsmost daring Kev Jr to repeat his earlier elfy ways
[22:46] <JoeKano-ig> looks like Kev is ropping back to form a receiving position as I house position themselves to shut this drive down
[22:46] <chunky04> I-House knock over a couple of Orcs, as they keep their options open
[22:47] <chunky04> Tide begin with some purposeful blocks, opening the start of a seam in the middle of I-House's defensive cordon
[22:48] <chunky04> no risks at this stage though, they appear content to wait for a better opportunity
[22:49] <chunky04> I-House sees an opening however, and prepares to try one of their patented risky moves!
[22:49] <JoeKano-ig> its a tough ask..
[22:49] <chunky04> and fail straight away, as Cannon fails spectacularly, as the crowd jeers!
[22:49] <JoeKano-ig> and Cannon goes down trying the self same risky maneuver
[22:50] <chunky04> Actually Joe, I believe that was to be the safe part of said risky manouever, but listen up, the crowd have started up a We want blood, Foul him in the nus! chant
[22:51] <chunky04> As the Tide take up a commanding position
[22:53] <JoeKano-ig> will they try a nother risky manuever to break the tides postion
[22:53] <JoeKano-ig> they swarm the tides breakawy battle group
[22:54] <chunky04> and the Axeheads go wild as Axe throws a rare block!
[22:54] <JoeKano-ig> as Axe Takes down Rork
[22:54] <JoeKano-ig> but Deej trips trying to clear the sidelines
[22:55] <chunky04> Pushem takes care of business first, putting Seano in the ko box
[22:56] <JoeKano-ig> and Kill Ratz burst through for the equaliser
[22:56] <chunky04> then diltzy makes a crucial mistake, allowing Kill Ratz a nice blitz on Richie III for an easy score, what an idiot!
[22:58] <chunky04> I-House do have a chance to try and do some damage however
[22:59] <chunky04> and they look to be aiming squarely at pushem!
[22:59] <JoeKano-ig> oops i think the Tide coach hadn't realised that in his setup that it was turn 8
[22:59] <chunky04> with no success!
[23:00] <chunky04> As Camo II picks up another completion, Joe notes what an excellent half the tide have had
[23:00] <JoeKano-ig> but camo racks up some skill with a short throw
[23:00] <chunky04> As Axe is back to his normal form and goes down trying to hug Bork
[23:01] <chunky04> The Tide use their first reroll of the match in turn 8, you think nuffle's starting to turn on them Joe?
[23:02] <JoeKano-ig> could be as despite some great blocks they manage again no blood to be shed
[23:02] <chunky04> What are you impression at half time Joe?
[23:02] <JoeKano-ig> iuts atough close game Chunk
[23:03] <chunky04> I predict that though the blood will begin to flow next half, the Tide's ball handling will falter, and I-House will emerge with the victory
[23:03] <JoeKano-ig> I think the house still have the better skills but can they last against the grinding pressure they have been under
[23:03] <JoeKano-ig> you coul be right Chunk, but this is Blood Bowl and as wel all Know.....
[23:03] <JoeKano-ig> Nuffles Favours No ONE!
[23:04] <chunky04> and Brittus III stays in the KO Box -you don't think the poor bugger got found by Axe's rendesvous do you?
[23:04] <JoeKano-ig> its still got a lot to happen in this game and could easily go either way
[23:04] <JoeKano-ig> maybe Chunk, he seemed to have a certain smile on his face as he was carted off
[23:04] <chunky04> was it a smile or a grimace?
[23:05] <chunky04> I-House setup with only slight adjustments to their defence, happy with the chances it brought them last time
[23:06] <JoeKano-ig> Heres the Kick!!
[23:07] <JoeKano-ig> as the kick goes in theres movement on the Defence as the readjust to a setup to match the Tides positioning
[23:07] <chunky04> I-House look set to go kamikaze into the Tide backfield Joe, the Tide's ballhandling could really be tested here
[23:09] <chunky04> showing tremendous confidence in their ballhandlers, the Tide push through the middle
[23:11] <JoeKano-ig> they bring the ball forward almost tempting I house to try one of their risky Manuevers again
[23:11] <chunky04> And they successfully move the ball away from the open field, in the hands of a rookie lineman
[23:11] <chunky04> and it loks like I-House is going to oblige Joe
[23:12] <JoeKano-ig> Git Going is looking confident but can that confidence last..
[23:13] <chunky04> I-House is partially successful, knocking over Git Going, but failing to pickup the ball afterward
[23:13] <chunky04> That was looking rather dangerous Joe
[23:16] <JoeKano-ig> Tide recover the ball and put in some solid hits, can I house crack it free again
[23:17] <JoeKano-ig> Kev Jr drives in to take the ball,,, fails to put Pushem down
[23:18] <chunky04> I-House have another attempt on the ball, but they look like they're beginning to go back into primadonna mode, very few impactful blocks from I-House these last few turns
[23:18] <chunky04> As Bork knocks out Cannon in what could prove to be a decisive play
[23:18] <chunky04> and Crushem finally puts the ever annoying Diltzy down
[23:21] <JoeKano-ig> The tide bring Pushem forward witht the ball in a strong series of blocks
[23:21] <chunky04> and as usual, every time I-House could use a half decent contribution from Axe, he's busy picking his nose
[23:22] <JoeKano-ig> I house set up a crushing rejoinder but Axe is counting Daisies
[23:23] <chunky04> I-House come up with an excellent backup plan, launching another raid on the ball carrier, this time with some punch behind it
[23:24] <chunky04> But once again, their reluctance to get into the hard stuff tells, as they fail to have any meaningful impact, another opportunity wasted
[23:27] <chunky04> Pushem moves the ball to the other side of the pitch, can I-House make another effort?
[23:28] <JoeKano-ig> itll take some great efforts by em as thats a solid wall of orc there
[23:29] <chunky04> and now, after wastign numerous opportunities, I-House seem to have found their vigour in the pointless Blocks
[23:29] <chunky04> I tell you Joe, I really believe they may lack the will to win to steal this one
[23:31] <chunky04> Amazing Joe, even the Tide'[s thrower Tossit has no trouble knocking over Axe
[23:31] <JoeKano-ig> Pushen runs free as Tossit lays into Axe with a brilliant block, dropping the Big Gay One!
[23:32] <chunky04> I-House are at long odds to stop theis seemingly certain TD
[23:32] <JoeKano-ig> looks like its risky maneuver tme agian Chunks
[23:33] <JoeKano-ig> this may come off as Kev Stuns Pushem and the ball spills
[23:33] <JoeKano-ig> Camo goes for it but goes down trying to recover it
[23:33] <chunky04> But the bounce of the ball goes Tide's way once more, as I-House is forced into a risky area to recover the ball
[23:34] <JoeKano-ig> it spills free and we is in a desperate scramble once more
[23:36] <chunky04> All that remains is for Rushem to pick up the ball and score
[23:36] <chunky04> Which he does easily!
[23:36] <JoeKano-ig> no htats Crushem taking hte Ball Home
[23:37] <JoeKano-ig> as he picks it up and runs on in
[23:37] <chunky04> With three turns and no rerolls remaining, does I-House have what it takes to force overtime?
[23:37] <JoeKano-ig> its 2-1 but plenty of time to equalise here for the I House
[23:37] <chunky04> I'm sorry Joe, all these ORcs begin to look the same to me when their names are blurry
[23:38] <chunky04> I-House are also down to 11, as Chunky and Brittus III elect to remain unconcious
[23:39] <chunky04> The Tide have cottoned onto I-House's usual bag of tricks, setting up a deep defence in preparation for a flanking jaunt from I-House
[23:41] <chunky04> and the Tide also shift their defense to block I-House, they'll really be struggling to tie this game!
[23:43] <JoeKano-ig> I house still manage to muscle through
[23:43] <JoeKano-ig> they are making a good run of it
[23:43] <chunky04> Have the Tide overcommitted to the line of scrimmage?
[23:44] <chunky04> I-House has a solid position on the top flank
[23:45] <chunky04> Tossit stuns Cannon, in what could prove to be a crucial factor in the game!
[23:45] <chunky04> As Bork manages a lucky dodge, what a reprieve for the Tide!
[23:46] <JoeKano-ig> is this anotheer sign of more elf hormones infesting our game Chunky
[23:47] <chunky04> And Kev Jr screws up the simplest of dodges, probably giving the game away to the tide!
[23:49] <chunky04> well it looks like it will come down to the death folks, the Tide failed to knock over Diltzy!
[23:49] <chunky04> Cannon clears the way for Diltzy to dodge away and score!
[23:50] <chunky04> and we're going to overtime!
[23:50] <JoeKano-ig> And were in to overtime
[23:50] <chunky04> Kano's Black Tide are set to kick off
[23:51] <chunky04> And the fans are really beginning to get upset at the lack of blood on the pitch Joe
[23:51] <JoeKano-ig> ill set up m8 then go smoke
[23:53] <chunky04> damn, you're not supposed to say that now, we're still on the air - wait, oh crap! screw all you viewers!
[23:58] <JoeKano-ig> oops
[23:58] <JoeKano-ig> uuhh
[23:58] <JoeKano-ig> Channel BB! does not endorse smoking fans
[23:59] <JoeKano-ig> looks like the Tide still have some luck there way as their fans motivate them on
[23:59] <chunky04> Yes, once again the I-House fans prove that ti doesn't matter if you outnumber the opposition if you're all complete wusses!
[00:00] <JoeKano-ig> I house will have to go in hard on this deeper defence the Tide have set up in...but is it a bit fragile..
[00:01] <JoeKano-ig> Bork holds the first drive by Kev Jr
[00:01] <JoeKano-ig> And I house recover the ball taking it deep into their own half as Ritchie swings forward......
[00:02] <chunky04> I-House play a strangely subdued offensive game this half, perhaps trying a different approach given the Tide's defensive setup
[00:04] <JoeKano-ig> And Axe is Axed
[00:04] <JoeKano-ig> but the I house doc rushes forward with Succour and soon has him brought round
[00:04] <chunky04> And the Tide finally bring the blood, as everyone's favourite punching bag/gay icon Axe goes down
[00:05] <chunky04> But the I-House plastic surgeon calls for the nail polisher, and his broken nail is promptly fixed up, so Axe stays on the pitch
[00:07] <chunky04> I-House's blitzers once again fail to make a decent impact, stalling their drive for the second consecutive turn
[00:08] <chunky04> and diltzy is smashed to the ground
[00:08] <chunky04> dropping the ball far way
[00:10] <JoeKano-ig> a stumble by Tossit could prove crucial as he is takken off the field
[00:10] <JoeKano-ig> Camo clears the ball and hurls it clear,,......
[00:10] <JoeKano-ig> Interception!!!
[00:11] <JoeKano-ig> once again Hork has the ball
[00:11] <JoeKano-ig> time and time again this Black Orc has done this this season
[00:11] <JoeKano-ig> he should have his blood screened Chunky
[00:11] <JoeKano-ig> got ot be proof of the presence of illegal elf hormone if ever I saw it!
[00:16] <chunky04> I-House has a chance to steal the ball
[00:16] <JoeKano-ig> that tey do but ittll be risky maneuver time again
[00:16] <chunky04> But do they rely on the unreliability of Axe, or the prone to hitting with Featherdusters blitzers?
[00:17] <chunky04> Axe comes through in the clutch, truly this is amazing
[00:17] <JoeKano-ig> And Axe comes through with a solid hit
[00:17] <chunky04> His fans are going...confused?
[00:18] <JoeKano-ig> And Richie is off with the ball after it is cleared by Camo
[00:18] <JoeKano-ig> he looks home and hosed
[00:18] <chunky04> And Camo II once again steps into the breach, with no intervening orcs, this time his pass is safe, and Richie III is in the clear!
[00:19] <JoeKano-ig> i thinkyou have won this one m8
[00:19] <chunky04> Is it sudden death though, it's so long since I've covered an OT game I've forgotten!
[00:20] <JoeKano-ig> guess we will find out
[00:23] <JoeKano-ig> The Tide floods back to try to catch the ball carrier
[00:23] <chunky04> Richie scores, and it seems I-House will have to hold out the Tide for a further 3 turns[00:24] <JoeKano-ig> I guess I owe you the 5 gold crowns for this one.
[00:24] <JoeKano-ig> oops
[00:24] <JoeKano-ig> Channel BB! does not endorse illegal sports gambling wither folks
[00:26] <chunky04> I-House has to be the favourite here Joe, the Tide's offence is not know for it's fast scoring prowess
[00:26] <JoeKano-ig> all too true chunky04
[00:27] <chunky04> I-House's kicker succumbs to the pressure however, barely grazing the ball, and giving a touchback to the tide!
[00:27] <chunky04> That really helped them out Joe, since they were missing their Thrower!
[00:28] <chunky04> It appears they may even go for a one turn TD with the ball in the hands of Da'udder Goon
[00:28] <chunky04> A risky play that did not pay off
[00:28] <JoeKano-ig> cor that had to hurt
[00:29] <JoeKano-ig> Da Udder Goon is stunned and the ball spills free
[00:29] <chunky04> I can't help but feel that patience and a solid drive would have paid higher dividends there Joe
[00:29] <JoeKano-ig> well yes but it wouldn't have been showy and flash enough to impress the jaded fans we have here today
[00:31] <chunky04> That's true Joe, and have a look at Camo II, who really seems to be a chip off the old block, he has to today's MVP or I'll eat zombie
[00:31] <chunky04> Unfortunately, Richie III isn't anywhere near so competent, and failed to catch the pass that would have sealed the win for I-House you'd have to thin
[00:32] <chunky04> think even, easy for me to say!
[00:33] <JoeKano-ig> The tide havn't given up yet though as they burst clear abbd try to scoop the ball
[00:33] <JoeKano-ig> but it spills free
[00:34] <chunky04> It's really going to be tough for the Tide now, but they still have the smallest of chances
[00:35] <JoeKano-ig> but alas they blow it
[00:36] <JoeKano-ig> failing to get the requisite pushes together to clear the ball and make the distance
[00:36] <JoeKano-ig> although i think htey may hve been tring for anohter Gobbo Toss there chunky04
[00:36] <chunky04> Well, thanks for covering the game with me Joe
[00:36] <chunky04> I can't help but think of this as a missed opportunity for the Tide
[00:37] <JoeKano-ig> I have ot sagree with you chunky04
[00:37] <JoeKano> they could have done so much better but lket things get to them
[00:38] <chunky04> I think they became too preoccupied with the c rowd's bloodlust at times Joe
[00:38] <JoeKano> well well be back momentarily to take your calls and hear from you the fans about tonights thriller overtime game |
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SonofSharkboy
Joined: Feb 04, 2004
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| Posted:
Jul 30, 2004 - 05:34 |
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Intro for a Newsbreak Races Across the Channel
Jack Blood here with rookie catcher for the Western Sydney Wonders, Penance.
Tell me about the last season Penance?
Jack, we seemed one with the game up until facing HFC. Then everything seemed dissheveled. How we managed to beat the Kano's Black Tide with the constant spurts of mysterious agility they showed...it was like some unknown factor was at play!
You still seemed to manage a good rookie season despite all this?
Agreed, three touchdowns in two games is more than I could of hoped for.
Any word on the recent actions of Iron, your team's star blitzer?
Since the Orc match, he's become convinced one of the Wonders is a dealer for Elvine Growth Hormones in the SWL. Most of us just think it's age catching up with him. Still, I'd hate to be that Wonder (if he does exist) when he's found out! Iron just hasn't been quite the same since he lost a step this season.
How bout a comment on the upcoming match against the Blue Mountain Dragons?
Sorry Jack. No comment before big matches like that.
Well there we have it sportsfans! Tune in tonight for some bloodbowl at it's best! I'm Jack Blood, and that's just where the pain starts! Back to you Joe... |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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| Posted:
Jul 30, 2004 - 02:17 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
Yes sir I think that excellent commentary work by JoeKano and XZCion tells the whole story folks! The Black Crowes save their Season 5 campaign from being a wooden spoon effort and end up with 3rd place.
The only real winner in this season was the GREAT UNSEEN who has been extended for one more season by the Shadow Void board, hoping the new div structure will allow his team to make a serious run at a flag. The kids are now off to a quick start in the Picnic with a bye in round 1 after the Greenskins realised the wisdom in not showing up for the match. This sees the Crowes up against another Chaos team in what should be a very friendly meeting of the horns.
See you again when Season 6 commences dear readers. |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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| Posted:
Jul 29, 2004 - 05:17 |
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Hi This is Bob Borc here for Channel BB!. We now return you to the game in progress. Our Commentator today is JoeKano and special comments by XZCion.....
<JoeKano> turn 3 in the big div 2 matchup, and lots of stuns and good ball
work but no casualties or score yet
<JoeKano> Lions so far has focused on his BloodBowl more today than his
singing career
<JoeKano> Blackberry bursts through the hole Lions has made to make a run
for the zone.....
<XZCion> it's not gonna be pretty :]
<JoeKano> Kahn Rockarm almost goes down trying to swing round and head off
Blackberry
<JoeKano> and Blackberry blitzes out of the tackle to run home and take the
Crowes to an early lead
* XZCion cheers
<XZCion> got in just in time to see the setup ;]
<JoeKano> Its the restart and and Lions is down, will he be forced to sing the rest of the
game!!
<JoeKano> and Ton Thunderhammer puts the boot in stunning Lions
<JoeKano> this could be the end of the half for the Crowes Singing sensation
<XZCion> Far out. The Smashers have got guard on everyone....
<JoeKano> Is only sensible
<XZCion> I understand the reason, but gee, doesn't it get dull playing them?
<JoeKano> Dwarves do have one advantage and thats that they are very
very hard. Don't expect to see many casualties here today fans...
<XZCion> very very very 'ard. silly amounts of armour and thickskull...
millenia go by without getting a cas :]
<JoeKano> Kahn Rockarm makes a run for it clutching the ball
<JoeKano> covered by Tharn Stronglegs
<JoeKano> and alas Lions has rediscovered his singing career
<XZCion> singing??
<JoeKano> You can buy his hit single “Stands still and Roars” in all good record stores
<JoeKano> and Tharn breaks Kahn loose
<JoeKano> as the rest of the Smashers try to drop the remaining Crowes
<JoeKano> Kahn stumble's on the goal line
<JoeKano> sconning himself, looks like he will take a little time to pull himself together..
<JoeKano> and the ball spills loose into the crowd and is thrown back into
the Crowes defensive half
<JoeKano> CAN THE CROWES CAPITALISE ON THIS AND SCOOP IT CLEAR!
<JoeKano> and Taller goes for it and ...drops the ball forcing a turnover
<JoeKano> Desperate dwarves scrabmble to recover the ball smashing Crowes
out of their way...
<JoeKano> but Snorri overreaches and goes down...
<JoeKano> The Black Crowes have no one in coverage though with taller KO'd
<JoeKano> er sorry stunned
<JoeKano> Nebakanezer moves into coverage after a hard hit on a dwrf
<JoeKano> and Lions has finished his song and is back swinging
<XZCion> nice even blocking!
<XZCion> luck? 44-63% at this time
<JoeKano> and Grak Redeye goes down on a setup for a complicated blocking
scoring play and the doctors attention is required....
<JoeKano> and that ends the first half folks
<JoeKano> I think I need a ciggie after that excitement...
<JoeKano> and the rain has started pouring here as the 2nd half gets under
way
<JoeKano> Lions is down and stunned and Nebekanezer needs the medic to
intervene
<JoeKano> as the Smashers get off the first drive of the 2nd half
<JoeKano> Boomer's Story moves in trying to block Kahn...
<JoeKano> but the Smashers are forging forward regardless
<JoeKano> Kahn slips the tackle and dashes off down the field clutching the
ball
<JoeKano> the crowes look to be out of position to do anything to slow this
dwarf speedster
<JoeKano> the Crowes try to free some players up for a sweeping drive to
block the run
<JoeKano> either that or just to mangle some dwarves
<JoeKano> StareitCold pushes aside Ton to close, but Boomer goes down on
the dodge
<JoeKano> Kahn is still clear as Gnorri and Ton try to drive off Stare
<JoeKano> but Kahn needs to make a break for it...and does but he is in the
open.... Snorri covers him as Grak drops Stare
<JoeKano> Horsehead drops back deep as Taller tries to blitz past..
<JoeKano> and stuns Kahn with a vicious tackle to knock the ball loose
<JoeKano> theres a lot dwarves deep in the Crowes defensive half and they
will be trying to recover that loose ball
<JoeKano> Gnorri and Snorri combine to remove Taller from the ball
<JoeKano> Ton seizes it and runs for home.....................oh mercy
hes gone down even as he ran it home and fails to score!
<XZCion> Oooohhhh that's twice they've tripped in the endzone
<JoeKano> Horsehead clears the ball and frees Taller from the sideline
<JoeKano> the Crowes stream back to get hoof on ball
<JoeKano> Taller sweeps up the ball and dashes hopefully clear as his team
mate's drop every dwarf they can reach
<JoeKano> Stoutlegs eats turf and is carted off on the stretcher
<JoeKano> after a good hit from Boomer
<JoeKano> And Lions knocks out Yuri Gravel maker to keep on keeping on with
clearing the field
<JoeKano> And Ton Thunderhammer blitzes down Taller to knock the ball loose but it is
recovered smartly by Angels!
<JoeKano> Boomer tries to blitz Angels clear of Ton but fails
<JoeKano> as the rest of the Crowes clear the defensive half of dwarves
<JoeKano> Angels pushes Ton away but is not yet in the clear
<JoeKano> the rain is making things slippy as players are pushed back all
over the field
<JoeKano> Stare drops Kahn to let Angels Clear...
<JoeKano> the crowes have good coverage but Horsehead pays the penalty for
trying to extend that
<JoeKano> Kahn shows off surprisingly elf like agility to close to try to
bring down angels,, but stumbles at the last
<XZCion> the mino's the only one in td range now...
<JoeKano> wow, look at that dodge, i think both these teams have been at the
elf hormones
<JoeKano> the Crowes have held on to the ball and look set to win 1-0
<JoeKano> its all over bar the final bashing
<JoeKano> and the crowes take out the game as their hired Wizard sets off the Fireworks early in celebration.
<XZCion> not much of a final bashing, a beastie got ko'd :]
<JoeKano> Black Crowes defeat the Southside Stomesmashers 1-0 in this gripping end of season game. Both these teams must be now eagerly looking forward to the Gentlemans Picnic and the Surprises it will bring................ |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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| Posted:
Jul 24, 2004 - 11:33 |
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Irite Stuff here, with all the news from I-House's big double header. I-House, odds on favourites to win Division 2 before the days play, had indulged in scheduling shenanigans to arrange a double-header to both decide the fate of their season, and to rake it in from the fans! Needing only a single win to seal the title, I-House in their arrogance had assumed the day would be festive, with a significant portion of the prize money and projected doubleheader gate takings already spent on the after-party, including the cost of uprooting an entire bordello by magic!
First assignment of the day for I-House was their nemesis from season 4, the Southside Stone Smashers. I-House opened up with a very hard fought touchdown, and then settled in to play some defense, hoping to snatch a quick victory against the depleted Dwarf lineup. The Southside fans had other ideas however, and the pathetic I-House allowed them to intimidate the ref, despite easily outnumbering the Southside fans! Though I-House did manage to come out best in the foul war, Southside were able to score fairly easily, as I-House's big chance to change the game saw them back to their old nancy boy ways, too concerned with their image to have a decent go in the blocking stakes.
At the end of the half, the score was tied at 1-1. I-House kicked off, and in a matter of moments it seemed, had many players run straight around the Dwarf line. Southside's Runners however, remained calm, and easily managed to avoid the trap, and sent the ball heading towards the endzone in the hands of their blitzer. I-House, now forced to play catchup to the Dwarf, found the going much more difficult than might be expected, as the Dwarfs injured, ko'ed or in the case of Star Thrower Camo - killed! many of the I-House players.
In the end they were able to score with just enough time on the clock for I-House to potentially make another score. As the crowd held their collective breath, I-House made their play. The Dwarfs responded with a blanket coverage, but I-House's superior agility allowed them to respond and free up one of their amazing catchers! With the ever versatile Blitzer Cannon filling in for the now deceased thrower Camo, he delivered the ball perfectly to Diltzy, who ran for the endzone, only to trip over his own feet in his haste as the siren sounded! Was this to be an omen for I-House, the team who almost could?
Next up, I-House played the Dark Elves of Tenebrae, who I-House had defeated the previous season in what was thought to be a playoff for promotion. However, with a hefty bribe to Commisioner Twahnicator, the evil elves followed their nemeses to Division 2. A victory for I-House would mean a division title and all the accolades that go along with it. Defeat would mean avoiding all the loan sharks that had been used to fund the victory celebrations!
This reporter has been covering this game for about 2 months now, and in my entire time as a reporter I have never seen such a blatant choke! I-House were terrible, hardly capable of doing anything correct.
It began with I-House kicking off, and while they looked to have played excellent defense technically, they must have been shirking contact with the elves, as one of their blitzers marched straight multiple tackle zones to pick up the ball and score! I-House were able to scramble together a touchdown to close out the half, but this would be where their good play ended.
As I-House prepared to go on offense, a planted dark elf fan in the stands communicated I-House's plan to the Dark Elves, allowing them to switch their defense at the last minute! This excellent position meant I-House was on the hop from the get go, but some excellent scrambling saw what looked to be the opportunity for the game turning play come about. New thrower Camo II went in, picked up the ball, and threw a picture perfect pass to Cannon, but it was intercepted by a dark elveb Blitzer, despite close attention by I-House players. This play broke I-House's spirit, and once the dark elves eventually scored, I-House pretty much gave up, allowing the leves to score another easy TD.
What will happen in the future for I-House? With the teams finances looking in dire straits, speculation is mounting about the future of this most polarising of teams. Rumours abound of coach Chunknanimous being involved with the owners of Bash D, an up and coming Chaos team in the Regional competition. Sources say that the Coach has been seen in posession of I-House divisional pass, the contract that allows a team into divisional play in SWL. Will I-House continue, or will they finally collapse under the weight of their own egoes. What will be the legacy o this team if they do? This reporter thinks it will be as the team that had almost everything, except the heart and will to win. |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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| Posted:
Jul 22, 2004 - 16:19 |
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BLUE MOUNTAIN DRAGONS CLAIM PREMIER LEAGUE TROPHY FOR THEMSELVES!
Vladim tells Zen Adepts to "Get F#$KED"
Tonight, the Blue Mountain Dragons defeated the Corporate Fraud Chaingang in a massively one-sided contest 4-0
In the post match conference, Vladim Oslobahn caused a massive scene when he grabbed the SWL Premier Division Trophy which happened to be on display and claimed it for the Dragons.
Commissioner Twahn was hopeless to stop the big norseman as he smashed past him and the portly Mr Whippy to grab the trophy and hold it aloft!
He challenged the Zen Adepts to stop "stinking up da Leeg vit der stupid Bull dung" and to play "Mammallians and Anvils like da girls dat dey are!"
To be honest, the trophy is more than likely to be the Dragons' as they have reached an unassailable lead in the championship with the exception that the Zen Adepts may be able to tie them on league points with two victories in their last two matches.
This would result in some sort of cryptic countback system that nobody understands and that Dragons management have demanded that Commissioner Twahn and his croney Mr Whippy divulge to the public.
In the interim, the trophy is gone... Vladim filled it with beer and made off with it and a box of donuts that happened to be there on the table.
What will Commissioner Twahn do? Should the Adepts tie for the Dragons what will the count back be? And if the Dragons lose out, who is to get the trophy off them?? |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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| Posted:
Jul 21, 2004 - 14:01 |
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Channel BB! Special Investigation
Hi, this is Bob Borc here. Rumours have always run rampant in the SWL along the lines of "He's doing roids m8", "She's been juiced", and "A certain high profile player has been caught by police in a motel room with three underage female fans and a donkey....".
But never before have we heard this from so many mouths...
<cut to a picture that shows a shadowed man seated talking in fornt of a orange couloured backdrop>
"Yeh, yeh i seen him do em, he gets em delivered in a brown paper parcel from Ulthuan and him and his team mates, they have like this special training the next day right......."
We reveal all after this break, the identity of the user and his team, we will tell you now the product is DexxyAggyIncremental, an illegal elf hormone concentrate that is being used by some members of the SWL to gain unfair advantage....
<theme song, opening credits, then some ads and cut back to the studio>
Hi, my names Bob Borc and I bring you all the latest and greatest SWL news here on Channel BB!.
Tonight we reveal...
<the phone on Bobs desk we all thoguht was fake rings, Bob looks at it stunned, picks it up and listens...>
"uhuh...... uh..........yeh.........uh huh..........<gulp>........uh........yeh. OK."
<Bob hangs up>
uh the film for that story is not available according to League Commisioner Twahn . So we will drop that dead donkey and move on to this report from Rage Bloodcry regarding the SWL's junior development program The Little League........ |
_________________
"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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