JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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 Posted:
Jun 08, 2004 - 06:50 |
 
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Casualty rates in BloodBowl have always been very high, sometimes for all concerned as this match report continues our retrospective...
"Welllllll, alas the Black Tide look to have surrendered their least brutalised team status in a smashing game with the Crowes. Four casualties each. The tide go to .92 in cas against.
Black Tide versus Black Crowes.
In a very physical contest that saw both Apothecaries used in turn 1 of the game the Crowes took the game 1-0 and both teams went home short a player. The Crowes also will have their nastiest piece of work Jealous Guy missing next game after a brutal hit from Borc Blocker Rork put him down hard on the turf.
A great game that saw a great barbie held afterwards for the two teams cooked by Rushem with much fresh surprise meat consumed and much Ale quaffed."
We also see here the first reports that have led us to our great new season cooking show, Surprise MEAT! hosted by the Black Tides very own Rushem |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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SonofSharkboy
Joined: Feb 04, 2004
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Jun 08, 2004 - 04:15 |
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The following broadcast on Channel BB is a payed advertisement brought to you by supporters of the Western Sydney Wonders...
Hey Kids!!
Don't forget to tune in this year for the prestigious Twahnlows Awards Show!! While the Western Sydney Wonders have always looked at their strength being how they work together as a team, we also believe in rewarding the efforts of our players when they have a stellar season. When the voting comes up for the Division 4 Twahnlow Medal, keep your eyes peeled to this king among elves! Without further preamble, May I introduce to you Iron!!!
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Jun 07, 2004 - 15:41 |
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Our reporters had full access to all teams lockers rooms post game although the one assigned to cover the Tenebrae V's Black Crowes game resigned after capturing this Coachs Address on viewer......
Storm clouds swirled inside the goats locker room and it was soon apparent it was not just steam from the showers. Horns drooped and Lions wimpered as all soon realized they were about to be in the uncomfortable presence of the Shadow Void.
"YOU USELESS CHEESE EATING EXCUSES FOR CHAOS...", boomed the Unseens voice. "NEVER HAVE I WITNESSED SUCH A WEAK AND PATHETIC USE OF ALL THAT I HAVE GIVEN YOU."
The team cowered as one...but all eyes were helplesssly drawn to JealousGuy who was in the obvious pain grip of the Unseen.
"YOU JealousGuy ARE THE WORST! I HAVE BLESSED YOU WITH A DOUBLE MUTATION AND YOU CAN'T EVEN KNOCK AN ELF DOWN LET ALONE HURT ONE! AND TO "PRETEND" YOU WERE KNOCKED OUT FOR THE REST OF THE GAME WHEN I SUPPLIED SMELLING SALTS JUST INSULTS ME EVEN MORE!!!
With this last being spoken JealousGuy shook from horn to hoof as his Razor sharp Claw was gripped by an Unseen hand and dragged down his flank.
"THATS WHAT BLOOD LOOKS LIKE YOU DOGS...AND THE NEXT TIME I SEE IT, IT HAD BETTER BE THE BILE THAT RUNS INSIDE THOSE ORCS OF KANO"S TIDE...UNDERSTAND?"
And with that the cloud evaporated...all was quiet except for the wimpering of JealousGuy as he licked his wound.
"So..." said Conspiracy, the newest recruit, "was that the coach?"
All just goes to prove that it takes a certain something to be a bloodbowl player........ |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Jun 07, 2004 - 15:34 |
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Corporate Fraud Chaingang was the SWL entrant int the World Champions Cup, unfortunately they played their first game after this shocker.....
"3-0 to the Chaingang at half time, but the damage had been done. Fouls that killed Nick Leeson (with the apoth failing) and niggling Chris Skase, resulting in his retirement, have posed questions about weather the Chaingang will be able to send a team to the world championship tourney. After getting away to a great start, some viscious fouling from both sides resulted in very valuable players being killed. "
The score line for World Champion's Pre-Cup Qualifier: Corporate Fraud Chain Gang 2-3 Corp PEsquera de Norska (Spanish Champion) showed just how prophetic the prediction was to be.... |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Jun 07, 2004 - 15:23 |
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All season saw a vicious rivalry carried on between Vladim Oslobahn of the Blue Mountain Dragons and Carlton United's Star Duke Snakefield in all forms of the Media, Press, CabalVision and Cabalwave........
The war began with this opening salvo from Vladim..
"I've won 6 MVP's purely on the basis of my prowess in the sack with the cheerleaders and Zara the Slayer!
You homo's down Carlton way wouldn't know anything about that! I'll be taking the pitch tonight against you and your nancy boys... but where's the blessed Duke? Washing his small sized cod piece on the sidelines I do believe!"
The Duke was quick to respond....
"If you wanna know where the Duke will be tonight, you best ask your mum!"
Not to be deterred Vladim turned the tables back.....
"Well my mum reckon's the Dukes a tad small in the block and tackle department and can only go for 30seconds at best...
So what's he doing during the rest of the match??"
and eventually the Dragons hit the Snake with the biggest comeback of all defeating Carlton united 2-1.
This rivalry is as yet unresolved and should they face each other on the field of green again it can only mean a tough no holds barred nasty game, but then, thats Good for BloodBowl! |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Jun 07, 2004 - 14:57 |
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We begin our review with an early pre season interview with some of Coach Neverborn's best and brightest:-
"If there was ever any doubt that it is a team game, the Corporate Fraud Chaingang have removed it.
After winning only 2 awards this season, Golden Boot and THE SWL PREMIER CHAMPIONSHIP, the team reflected on how teamwork won them the league.
"We aren't a one man operation, like Duke United, or Slumbering Qurindoorochhehieie" said Team Captain, Christohpher Skase.
"It truely is a team effort when it comes to the gang. It is the final proof that captialism works. We're all selfish bastards all in it for our own glory. Because of this we all refuse to cut corners, or let someone get infinetly better than the rest of us." Scott Sullivan remarked.
While some of the great players have left or are thinking about retirement, the team spirit at the gang will go on."
Bring on Season 4."
Sadly mere days after giving this interview Christopher Skase was tragically crippled on the playing field and forced into retirement. In a lovely Villa on a small island off the coast of Espania. |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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| Posted:
Jun 07, 2004 - 14:45 |
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Welcome to the Season that was, in the coming days we will be having a retrospective of Season 4 of this great league and be airing famous episodes of all our season regular shows in the lead up to our annual awards night "The TwahnLows!" |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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| Posted:
Jun 07, 2004 - 14:33 |
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Welcome!!!!!!
The Southern Wastes League launches tonight its own 24 hour coverage station, with all the latest and greatest NEWS! from the league.
We will also be having interviews and special comments from current and past players, coaches and supporters!
Highlights will be Talking Bloodbowl! hosted by our very own Neverborn and Twahn.
Our cooking series hosted by that gastronomic extraordinaire Rushem of Kano's Black Tide, where we will get all the latest and greatest post game recipes as Rushem cooks for us each week with Surprise Meat!
It wouldn't be thursday night without The Bloody Show! where host Noddy Maguire and retired 14 game veteran and only surviving past player for the Prince Reagents famed former player Lord Acetius and the panel of current and exciting star and upcoming players discuss the weeks upcoming games and each teams lists and chances. You won't be able to tip without it!
In between we will have all the latest and greatest Breaking NEWS! as well as regular features on the Star's Of SWL!
Tune that set to SWL'S Channel BB and leave it there for all the best and brightest! |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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