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Joined: Jan 14, 2009

Post   Posted: Dec 04, 2017 - 05:32 Reply with quote Back to top

This will be a spot to collect some stories about my CIBBL team Beerbog Behemoths who play in the Albion and Norsca region.


So far the team is from the Isle of Albion in the region of the Boora Bog, which is locally called the Beerbog for reasons unknown. The team owner is Mogh Roith, a mysterious druid who has a strong connection with both the pixies and giants of the region. Originally he put them to work collecting bog myrtle and other herbs from the bog, or digging the local peat but soon enough he started a local brewery (Beerbog Brewery) and the Two Headed Dog Inn was buit to serve travelers through the area. When word came to the Isle about a strange new game called Blood Bowl, well it was only natural that they took to the field...

I really have to credit Calthor, AutoAxpert, Burnalot, MachJacob, misterlonestar, neubau and my fellow CIBBLings for this league - it really is amazing, and the amount of effort put in is quite staggering. If you don't believe me, click some of the links or drop by the discord and prepare for your jaw to drop.

Any criticism and comments are welcome of course, either by posting here or by PM.

Cabalvision presenter Lorenz Bootbaeur would also like to get feedback from the fans, so if you have a question for him, or the team respond here to Bootbaeur's mailbag!

Joined: Jan 14, 2009

Post   Posted: Dec 04, 2017 - 05:35 Reply with quote Back to top

Cabalvision friendly link
Masqueraded Magnificence vs. Beerbog Behemoths

Gooood Eeevening sportsfans! Lorenz Bootsbauer here filling you in live from Beerbog field where they're hurriedly moving the cows off the pitch and into an adjacent paddock...sure hope they have time to pick up after them before starting, someone could slip out there...hahaha...in fact now that I think about it, didn't Ruarc Sythril die while rushing for extra yards in the Youngblood tournament?

We're here for the Beerbog Behemoths final friendly match before the regionals start, and it's vs. some agile looking elves - just look at them out there prancing around - words fail me! glorious, spectacular, magnificent! Ah, but here come the giants...first is Vargurs...Vargwurs...Varg...ok, Gnorf...Gorf...Jorf....

Lorenz clears his throat heavily and a clamouring of pixie laughter is heard

Alright, we'll call them Varg, Gwoft, Gnorf and Jforz for short...whew! Apologies to the giants out there, I won't ask for the proper pronunciation as my ears are still bleeding from the last time I made that mistake. Now the pixies are entering the field, my they're tiny, about twice the size of the ball if you can believe it!

As always, this broadcast is brought to you by the friendly Two-Headed Dog Inn which now serves over twenty different ales and gruits from the Beerbog brewery!

...traditional music from old Albion is heard in the background...

Life got you bogged down? Get yourself a pick me up! Drop on in today and ask our friendly bar-wenches about our lovely scenic wagon ride packages, see the lovely scenery of the historic Boora Bog and expe ...oh! the match is about to start!

Joined: Jan 14, 2009

Post   Posted: Dec 04, 2017 - 05:50 Reply with quote Back to top

Cabalvision friendly link
Beerbog Behemoths vs. Vostok Iron Head

Heeeey Sportsfans! Spring has sprung, the ports have thawed, the swamps are extra misty and of course it's time for the CIBBL Albion and Norsca regionals! Lorenz Bootbaeur here live for Cabalvision from the relatively sunny coast of Norsca where it's overcast and grey today - a perfect day for some Blood Bowl! I'm reporting live from the Eric Ericson Memorial Stadium home of Vostok Iron-Head who've gathered to play Albion's own Beerbog Behemoths. This appears to be a giant affair for the locals, bringing together several clans I'm guessing based on the twenty odd longships docked on shore and the several hundred mad Norsemen in their cups in the crowd. I'll say the Norsemen are fine hosts and we've feasted the last three days while in practice and regaining our land-legs, each time with a different clan no less.

How did we get here? I'm glad you asked! We've just spent the better part of a fortnight traipsing the fecund and misty moors North and to the East on our way to Port Mearnóg. You should of seen the look on their faces when four giants twice the size of a man showed up on the passenger list! Pale as a ghost! The Salty Banjo she was called, as solid a ship as you're likely to see running cargo through the Middle Sea to the fjords of Norsca then south to L'anguille! It's crew a bunch of hardened sea-dogs -salt in their noses, rum in the belly and the wind at your back!...brings back memories! ARR!

there's a long pause and sigh as Lorenz reflects

Back to the match though - now this here is a proper pitch for Blood Bowl, very professional and well kept- not just some old cattle paddock that's lying around all torn up and uneven! You can tell these Norse really revere the game- the end-zone is even clearly marked with dog skulls on a stick and the sidelines with a fine powder from crushed skulls. I'll also note throngs of Norsemen have gathered on those sidelines...something about pixies being a valuable commodity on the open market? Huh! I would of never guessed! Next time I'll make sure to bring a few more alternates!

traditional music from Old Albion is heard in the background

As always, this match is brought to you by the friendly Two-Headed Dog Inn - your home away from home, where we keep the hearth aglow and your mug afull! Remember to book your Lá Fhéile Pádraig party today, and book early! Druids welcome, but please no Fimir! Ask our always saucy bar-wenches about our patron rewa...

a roar erupts from the crowd

Oh! it looks like the ball has been kicked by Halvor the Rock, and the Behemoths are recieving - someone appears to be down, I'm gonna get a bit closer and see who it is...

Joined: Jan 14, 2009

Post   Posted: Dec 05, 2017 - 07:13 Reply with quote Back to top

Cabalvision friendly link
Misty Isle Gators vs. Beerbog Behemoths

Heeeey Sportsfans! Lorenz Bootbaeur here live for Cabalvision!
We're back on the misty isle of Albion and on our way to the village of Llyn Barfog - a dismal place of ill repute generally avoided at all costs as it's home to the Fimir. We however are actually trying to find them in all this mist for our match vs. the Misty Isle Gators at the Murky Water Dome stadium. It's quite the slog getting the team and all their gear through the endless fens, bogs, quagmires, marshes or whatever else you want to call this insect plagued hell that we've spent the last week navigating. Soaked to the skin at the end of the day, you'll be kept up by the sounds of something slithering or crawling around - not for the faint of heart, that's for sure! The pixies are fine with it being accustomed to living in this sort of habitat, and the giants- well nothing much phases them really, though I can't say the same for yours truly and the rest of the extended team. We'll be looking to get this over with and back to the Two-Headed Dog for a well deserved bath, shave, meal and several pints of Gwoft Ale! That's right folks, the Beerbog Brewery has just unveiled a new ale supported by the Beerbog Behemoths own Gwoftirbnewfg, an upcoming star in the Albion and Norsca regionals we're sure!

The Fimir of course are reviled and feared throughout Albion, filthy one-eyed beasts with cudgels for tails who really shouldn't have a place in Blood Bowl if you ask my opinion! Known daemon summoners with some really nasty habits as far as mating goes if rumours down the local pub are to be heeded too! Needless to say, the cheerleading squad made their way back to the Two-Headed Dog Inn and won't be attending this match just in case.

Oh, hey! I almost forgot - here's someone you avid Blood Bowl fans will already know - Vinny Valhalla has made the trip with us from our last match against Vostok Iron-Head. Well known in Norsca, Vinny is rightfully a star and can do something those Fimir can't - play ball, that's what! Vinny was impressed by the Behemoths play, and approached the staff afterwards expressing a desire to play with the team whenever needed. He also has an appreciation for the Beerbog breweries selection of gruits and ales - fine taste there Vinny!

Well, back to the pre-match here! This should be a good one - though the Gators don't have too much in the way of ball handling except for those accursed daemons, they've certainly got something to show in the blocking department and might even give the giants some trouble. Nuffle forbid if they start laying into the pixies - that could prove disastrous!
On the Behemoths side, they've got a speed advantage and the giants can tie them up as long as they work together - though that's asking a lot from a giant, I'll say! Either way, I'm sure we're in for a great game.

This pitch is in need of some love though now that I get a close look at it - in comparison, it makes the Behemoths converted cattle paddock look like one of the great stadiums. Sure, sure it's the only patch of dry land for miles and all that, but the Fimir could learn how to paint a straight line - I'm quite sure those sidelines aren't legal! Anyhow, that'll be for the ANBBA to take a look at - I mean that is what we pay them for isn't it?

On to other things - the Behemoths have a new look! new logo and new colors - I gotta say I'm impressed, and the pixies love it too! From what I heard, the old purple team colors clashed with their complexions - they're more into earth tones.

As always, we're brought to you by the fine brewers at the Beerbog Brewery...and speaking of which, how about a word from our sponsors...

Gwoftirbnewfg the giant appears in his team uniform engaging in what appears to be a mock scrimmage on the line of a Blood Bowl pitch. A whistle blows and he and a human opponent in a non-descript uniform strain to throw each other down. In the background grunts and various other sounds of armour crashing together as well as the roar of the crowd is heard. Gwoft quickly throws down his opponent with a satisfying thud and strides confidently off the sidelines towards you with what appears to be a smile on his face. An elven cheerleader in the Beerbog Behemoths colours hands him a towel and an appropriately large pint of beer as he walks even closer towards you

A manly baritone voice that clearly isn't the giants is dubbed in though Gwoft's mouth moves

Hi I'm Gwoftirbnewfg, the Beerbog Behemoths own captain and leading blocker and when I'm not taking care of business on the pitch I like to relax with a fine pint of Gwoft Ale. Rich and creamy with delicate hints of moss and elderberry - aaah that hits the spot!...

Gwoft takes a large sip and grins his eyes slipping into a reverie, his face fading into scenes of a moor with birds flying overhead and a quaint wooden building next to a stream with smoke curling from a brick chimney . This again slow fades into the interior of a brewery with a bespectacled old dwarf checking several rows of kegs with some strange brass and glass contraption. After checking several kegs, he turns around towards you and gives you a hearty thumbs up.

A different soothing voice narrates

...brewed in small batches with quality local ingredients in Albion's own Beerbog Brewery, our dedication to quality surpasses even the strictest requirements. Accredited dwarven brewery technicians from the World's Edge Mountains are on site ensuring that *your* beverage experience is the the best it can be.

the scene fades back to Gwoft now relaxing on a large velvet divan with a comely elven attendant in skimpy attire to the side, hoisting an ornate silver tray with grapes and other exotic fruits . the original voice dubs over Gwoft's again

...you're the king of your own castle and and you've worked hard to build that moat and repel invaders, so when it comes time to take a load off - why drink any old peasant swill? Drink the best... drink Gwoft!

the scene fades back to the match in progress

...aandd we're back! oh, it looks like the ball is in play already, Behemoths receiving - good, good!

Joined: Jan 14, 2009

Post   Posted: Dec 07, 2017 - 03:41 Reply with quote Back to top

Cabalvision Rewind Link
Lordinium's Lunatics vs. Beerbog Behemoths (Albion and Norsca Regional)


Heeeey Sportsfans! Lorenz Bootbaeur here live on Cabalvision for the Beerbog Behemoths final match of the CIBBL Albion and Norsca region tournament. We've travelled to the lovely southern part of Albion where the cloud and fog has lifted slightly to give us a tiny glimpse of sunglight - something we haven't seen in a while. Here in the pastoral hamlet of Aglish, home of Lordinium's Lunatics we've settled in to a few days of practice on their well kept yet modest Blood Bowl pitch - well done! Though we haven't seen sight of our opponents yet, word is that they are due to arrive in the hamlet shortly! Speaking of hamlets...

Lorenz looks around wildy for a second then grabs a cherubic halfling into view. He has a mess of curly reddish hair protuding from underneath a rough hewn flat cap

...I'd like to intoduce our new co-host - Kaspar Hamhouse! All time scoring leader for the Golden Spatulas in MEBBL (Mootland Eatery & Blood Bowl League), Kaspar was recruited to the Bernloch Bruisers and recorded 23 flying touchdowns with the help of Treeman Turlathauror Charlimb before the team was ruled unofficial for it's mix of humans, halflings and Treemen.

L: Welcome Kaspar, great to have you here! Hope the trip wasn't too strenuous.

K: Thanks Lorenz- happier than a butcher's dog to be here! Albion's a breath of fresh air after my stint in the Dark Lands.

L: Ah, yes the CIBBL overlords had you out there scouting some of the better local teams in order to expand the league didn't they? How'd that go? I'd really like to see some of those teams in action!

K: Well, we had a few promising teams ready to join - most notably the Wolfland Muckers, the Skullpeak Stabbers and the Gorgoth Firebulls. Sadly, a rather large Orc horde surged through Death Pass putting and end to those inquiries as we all fled for our lives...hahaha

L: Exciting! Well, let's focus on the teams before us here today. I'm sure your experience soaring into the endzone could be helpful to both teams today - any advice for them Kaspar?

K: Make sure to stick the landing and stock some fresh undergarments in your locker! Also, squeal with delight when you're airborne as it just may convince some of your teamates to give it a go

L: Good advice... good advice. Before we get into the team analysis I've got a note here from the Behemoths coach - looks like Nuala Rydan is out of the lineup and into a cheerleader uniform! Nuala of course suffered a severe concussion in her very first match and just hasn't been the same since. In her place, her younger brother Conall will be joining the lineup - could be a short debut though right Kaspar?

K: It sure could Lorenz- most times the new recruits go straight to the line of scrimmage and well, you know how that goes sometimes. I tell you, you've never seen anyone as interested in the coin toss as a new recruit. I still remember my first time there getting sized up by a couple of mean lookin...

Suddenly the Lunatics stride onto the field waving to the cheering fans. The Behemoths stop their pre-match drills to watch and size up their opponents

L: ...Ah! here we go! the Lunatics have taken the field - woah, cool tattoos!

K: yes, those are magical tattoos that offer them protecti... oh, what's this now!

Both teams pixies suddenly leave their practice and form seperate circles. The circles start rotating with pixies chanting and yelling- some start spinning while flailing their arms blindly. The giants and woad berserkers watch with a small measure of concern but don't approach

L: maybe just a traditional greeting between pixies, you know they do like to dance a lot...

The crowd roars loudly as the two rotating pixie circles collide at mid-field and form a larger one circling faster. Several pixies are thrown to the ground and trampled, but get up and start dancing in more explicitly violent displays. Some windmill their arms while spinning occasionally hitting anyone in range- others launch themselves into other pixies with their bodies, bouncing from friend to foe in and out of the circle

K: Oh my! I think what we're seeing here is the Moshrhyfel Pitwll it's a tr...

L: The Mosh what? What are you talking about?

K: it's a traditional pixie war dance - it seems these pixie clans aren't on good terms for some reason.

L: War dance, eh? suddenly this match got a lot more interesting! I thought the two teams being mostly pixies that they just might spend the whole match dodging away and scoring. Now we might see some blood!

K: Well now Lorenz, you know that the objective is to score more than the other team - not just injure your opponents hahaha, but it sure doesn't hurt to try right?

L: sure doesn't! Let's pause for a word from the Behemoths sponsor - Beerbog Breweries...

Here at Beerbog Breweries we cater to all tastes...even those a bit too exotic for the common folk. Are you the tall, dark and mysterious type? Don't like the crowds and have a preference for solitude and long walks in the moonlight? Or perhaps you have a vested interest in unearthing forgotten civilizations, shovel in hand? Then Black Pete is the beer for you - a heavy, earthy almost cadaverous beer topped with a thick foam! It's to die for!

On the pitch, the pixie dance has died down and several pixies from both sides are carted off the field to be tended too

K: Alright! Looks like we're about set to start - looks like the Behemoths will have to kick here - just look at the frown on Conall Rydan's face as he lines up...
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