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Recent Forum Topics  FUMBBL HAIKU'S | Gnome Roster - how a... | Exempt teams |
2022-08-17 22:22:56
22 votes, rating 6
22 votes, rating 6
Do you have a question?
The GLN's very own agony aunt is taking questions.
Are you having relationship troubles?
Do your players keep dying?
Do you cry uncontrollably every time you lose?
Has your wife left you to start her own Griff fanzine?
Do you have an unquenchable hatred for Elves? Or anything at all in fact...
Ask her ANYTHING and we promise you'll receive sound and practical advice and won't be in the least mocked or publicly humiliated.
Your privacy is important to us so please post your Questions below in complete confidence and we'll pick the best to be published in the next Issue.
Are you having relationship troubles?
Do your players keep dying?
Do you cry uncontrollably every time you lose?
Has your wife left you to start her own Griff fanzine?
Do you have an unquenchable hatred for Elves? Or anything at all in fact...
Ask her ANYTHING and we promise you'll receive sound and practical advice and won't be in the least mocked or publicly humiliated.
Your privacy is important to us so please post your Questions below in complete confidence and we'll pick the best to be published in the next Issue.
Comments
Posted by Happy_Amateur on 2022-08-18 06:51:12
Dear Aunty Half,
I'm the new editor of a struggling internet magazine. I can't understand why people aren't taking me seriously. I mean.. I fit the part. I'm overweight, divorced, middle aged with a serious drinking problem. Seems to me I fit the bill perfectly. Plenty of FUMBBLers have promised me articles, but not that many have delivered.
Anyway, my question is, why do men have nipples?
Signed,
Anonymous_Amateur
I'm the new editor of a struggling internet magazine. I can't understand why people aren't taking me seriously. I mean.. I fit the part. I'm overweight, divorced, middle aged with a serious drinking problem. Seems to me I fit the bill perfectly. Plenty of FUMBBLers have promised me articles, but not that many have delivered.
Anyway, my question is, why do men have nipples?
Signed,
Anonymous_Amateur
Posted by mekutata on 2022-08-18 11:27:55
Dear Agony,
I struggle with the global warming. When I want to take a quick refreshing shower while playing a match, I understand I should obviously hurry as the opponent could have to wait otherwise. In case of bad luck (f.e. Side Step players in my team getting blocked) they have to wait now anyway. So I feel miserable. But while still being in the shower, I suddenly feel the need to pee. What shall I do now to conform fumbbl netiquette?
Please don't publish my name.
I struggle with the global warming. When I want to take a quick refreshing shower while playing a match, I understand I should obviously hurry as the opponent could have to wait otherwise. In case of bad luck (f.e. Side Step players in my team getting blocked) they have to wait now anyway. So I feel miserable. But while still being in the shower, I suddenly feel the need to pee. What shall I do now to conform fumbbl netiquette?
Please don't publish my name.
Posted by Muff2n on 2022-08-18 14:25:16
Dear AA,
My daughter has recently joined a high school team that unfortunately has a great collective spirit. Everyone has each other's backs, and no one tries to hog the glory. They only focus on beating other teams! Sure, it has worked for them so far, but I know that it is a dog-eat-dog world, and the only way to succeed is to back-stab, cheat, and trample over the bodies of other players - including your own team. How can I introduce some intra-team competition and turn them into their best psychopathic selves?
Yours,
Anonymous parent
or if it has to be about blood bowl...
My stone troll has stopped eating goblins because its gone vegan. Now it only eats rocks, and has already digested part of our stadium. Please help.
My daughter has recently joined a high school team that unfortunately has a great collective spirit. Everyone has each other's backs, and no one tries to hog the glory. They only focus on beating other teams! Sure, it has worked for them so far, but I know that it is a dog-eat-dog world, and the only way to succeed is to back-stab, cheat, and trample over the bodies of other players - including your own team. How can I introduce some intra-team competition and turn them into their best psychopathic selves?
Yours,
Anonymous parent
or if it has to be about blood bowl...
My stone troll has stopped eating goblins because its gone vegan. Now it only eats rocks, and has already digested part of our stadium. Please help.
Posted by King_Ghidra on 2022-08-18 14:36:43
Dear Aunty,
I'm a designer of a niche but successful tabletop board game. Unfortunately, no matter how much fun I try and inject into the game, the players only seem to want to me to fix all of the rules inconsistencies and imbalances that I introduced. What's wrong with people these days, don't they like fun? (Also do you by any chance know anyone who wants a low paid job answering a few random questions every three months?)
Yours truly,
Anonymous Nottingham resident
I'm a designer of a niche but successful tabletop board game. Unfortunately, no matter how much fun I try and inject into the game, the players only seem to want to me to fix all of the rules inconsistencies and imbalances that I introduced. What's wrong with people these days, don't they like fun? (Also do you by any chance know anyone who wants a low paid job answering a few random questions every three months?)
Yours truly,
Anonymous Nottingham resident
Posted by Muff2n on 2022-08-18 14:43:39
Sorry, just realised my earlier question was spelled incorrectly.
Dere is dis ishoo wiv da trol. It 'as gon veegun an now it dunt eat gobbos. It eat der rocks. It chew da staydeeum an now bits of it falled down. I tried bashin it in da 'ead it but it dunt work. We need yer advyce.
Dere is dis ishoo wiv da trol. It 'as gon veegun an now it dunt eat gobbos. It eat der rocks. It chew da staydeeum an now bits of it falled down. I tried bashin it in da 'ead it but it dunt work. We need yer advyce.
Posted by BeanBelly on 2022-08-18 15:19:34
I'd like to improve my painting, do you have any advice?
I've bought a Sable brush, but even so I'm really struggling to get the paint on neatly as every time the opposition coach clicks his mouse the players move..
I've bought a Sable brush, but even so I'm really struggling to get the paint on neatly as every time the opposition coach clicks his mouse the players move..
Posted by The_Great_Gobbo on 2022-08-18 15:21:31
Oi yew,
I az trubble mekkin new frends, wot yew gunna do abowt it?
GG
I az trubble mekkin new frends, wot yew gunna do abowt it?
GG
Posted by Seventyone on 2022-08-18 15:35:25
How many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man?
Posted by luxyluxo on 2022-08-18 15:58:53
Dear Aunty Half...
During a recent match a Werewolf attacked one of my Gobbos...I tried to help the unfortunate gobbo...but one thing lead to another and now I think I am preggers :-O ..what should I do?
During a recent match a Werewolf attacked one of my Gobbos...I tried to help the unfortunate gobbo...but one thing lead to another and now I think I am preggers :-O ..what should I do?
Posted by MrCushtie on 2022-08-18 19:02:26
My hands are stuck! How? What?
Posted by neilwat on 2022-08-18 19:55:36
Dear Aunty...
My teams used to love getting the biggest guy to pick up the smallest guy and launch them at the other team. This used to cause great pleasure to everyone (other than maybe the little guy) and was what the crowds cheered most for. For some reason in the last year or so all my other players seem to just stand and stare, if said little guy smashes into someone? It all seems very odd, like the gods have cursed us. Has there been a change to the rules to bring in some of them woke elf and safety regulations.
My teams used to love getting the biggest guy to pick up the smallest guy and launch them at the other team. This used to cause great pleasure to everyone (other than maybe the little guy) and was what the crowds cheered most for. For some reason in the last year or so all my other players seem to just stand and stare, if said little guy smashes into someone? It all seems very odd, like the gods have cursed us. Has there been a change to the rules to bring in some of them woke elf and safety regulations.
Posted by kozak on 2022-08-18 20:07:53
Dear Aunt,
Why TTM an halfling or kicking a gnoblar into a cage should be a turnover?
Why TTM an halfling or kicking a gnoblar into a cage should be a turnover?
Posted by Nobby_Nobbs on 2022-08-18 22:59:39
Dear Aunty,
I'ze a huge hairy minotaur with massive nasty clawy things and love bloodbowl, but none o' der teams iz taking me! Der small hatty gits gets annoyed at me for a bitta rough an tumble, der rena-wotsits are yabbering on about deez ratty oglers, and der chaos teams say I iz too expensive? 'Ow can I co- covin- [i]make[/i] them pay me to play for them?
Angrily,
Mas Ivkow
I'ze a huge hairy minotaur with massive nasty clawy things and love bloodbowl, but none o' der teams iz taking me! Der small hatty gits gets annoyed at me for a bitta rough an tumble, der rena-wotsits are yabbering on about deez ratty oglers, and der chaos teams say I iz too expensive? 'Ow can I co- covin- [i]make[/i] them pay me to play for them?
Angrily,
Mas Ivkow
Posted by Silviackk on 2022-08-19 12:02:47
Dear All coaches (the good the better and the other...)
Anyone will place himself in the category he wants...And is allowed to
change his thought category if he read it in 1 day, 1 week or 1 month later...
1st thing is NuFFle is GREAT, GooD, and do what Nuffl wants to do with our
nerves, mental health and he is alone to choose what he wants!
--> And THAT is good I hope that wont NEVER change!
2nd Thing is this one : Yeah I whin often , win a little bit less often...
And I hope that will change but I AM NOT the subject of this post so nevermind!
3rd Thing : Is it possible than in a less or more far future the box will
include the level of coaches to do the matches choice,
I want to say than if in the box there are 4 coaches A, B, C, D with about
the same teams level and if the C levels are something like that:
A : Legend
B : Superstar
C : Emerging Star
D : Emerging star
Then box would display the matches like this:
A vs B & C vs D
in order to have matches at least on paper the most balanced as possible
Nuffl, Take care : I didn't say the box choices were not balanced , humm
I only ask for a question because the post title is
"Do you have a question?" ....I wanted only submit 1 old question was haunting my old 1/3brain...
Anyone will place himself in the category he wants...And is allowed to
change his thought category if he read it in 1 day, 1 week or 1 month later...
1st thing is NuFFle is GREAT, GooD, and do what Nuffl wants to do with our
nerves, mental health and he is alone to choose what he wants!
--> And THAT is good I hope that wont NEVER change!
2nd Thing is this one : Yeah I whin often , win a little bit less often...
And I hope that will change but I AM NOT the subject of this post so nevermind!
3rd Thing : Is it possible than in a less or more far future the box will
include the level of coaches to do the matches choice,
I want to say than if in the box there are 4 coaches A, B, C, D with about
the same teams level and if the C levels are something like that:
A : Legend
B : Superstar
C : Emerging Star
D : Emerging star
Then box would display the matches like this:
A vs B & C vs D
in order to have matches at least on paper the most balanced as possible
Nuffl, Take care : I didn't say the box choices were not balanced , humm
I only ask for a question because the post title is
"Do you have a question?" ....I wanted only submit 1 old question was haunting my old 1/3brain...
Posted by Seventyone on 2022-08-19 14:57:30
Who's idea was it to make Morg mighty blow +2?
Posted by Malmir on 2022-08-19 18:01:48
Dear Aunty,
Who exactly designed this ruleset. I want names and then I want heads.
Who exactly designed this ruleset. I want names and then I want heads.
Posted by MerryZ on 2022-08-19 20:27:48
Dear Aunty Awesome,
What happened to Space Frogs ?
Yours truly,
Captain Awesome
What happened to Space Frogs ?
Yours truly,
Captain Awesome
Posted by Nohistor on 2022-08-25 23:50:20
Dear Aunty,
Why cant yellow snow be beer?
Why cant yellow snow be beer?