Today I am proud to present you, on public request, the results of our explorations into the minds of Fling Coaches that play without Treemen.
I just come back from the lab, and i have to say, that was a very nice and sweet group of testees. Most of them seemed to just be nice guys, quite talkative and we sure had some good time.
However, when the tests began they took it serious and we found out some astounding stuff.
I won't bore you with the percentages but will get right to the meat, this time. Apparently playing flings has nothing to do with being small, weak or (for that matter) handsome. It also has only little to do with being overweight or being a particularly good or bad cook. One thing that stood out was our feeling, that the testees slagged each other off - but we can't proof it, because my collegues didn't care to be prepared for testing backspiting.. lazy sluggards!
But well, we did find out, that most of the coaches (82%) described their fathers as being dictatorial and some (68%) even threatened their male children to cut something off... Interpreting these results suggests, that the fling coach who doesn't purchase the treeman is out for revenge! they accept their fathers threat and think they have lost some special part of being a man but still try to symbolically kill him on the pitch. fouls statistics suggest that these coaches try to get their revenge without concerning their reputation or winning the game at all. Really, after analyzing the tests, these guys give me the creeps! They seemed to be so nice, yet behind the curtain there is sitting a mumbling Kafka with a nice little Kinski-dressing.
All in all, watch out for these guys, as fear and hate demands them to do what they do. Especially coaches who bring a "big guy" to the pitch will be targeted by their killer instincts.