Issues of Intimidation have arisen, Kickbacks are being paid, Graft is endemic in the league, under-secretaries held for Ransom in Secrecy, a grand Conspiracy, Nepotism covering up Racketeering with plentiful Hush Money. Thieving, Extortion, even Fraud are abundant and it's Dirty Pool on anyone who exposes them.
This is about Bribery and Corruption, mark my words it'll lead to Anarchy. People must speak out, before the league is doomed.
The history of the B&C is a long and storied one. Please enjoy your quick journey through it. For more details, check the match reports, our coach goes nuts with 'em.
SWL: Trial of Blood.
A dangerous start from a dangerous team, a tally of 2/2/2 put the frighteners on the league commissioners and we had to pour out money to fit in their "cap", if you know what I mean. Bribery and Corruption indeed.
Nepotism: 108 Rush Yards, 2 TD, and an Intercept! Pogoer off to a great start.
Fraud: 3 TD and a Cas. Our first little blodger took an injury in the last game.
Corruption, Graft, Secrecy: for getting it done in the early games. Block troll!
SWL: Season 61.
Thieving has grown outrageously. Suspicions were aroused when a tally of 1/1/5 with the good results against the best teams were finalised, not to mention regularly collecting more money by losing than winning. Something was up.
Our coach replied to these allegations, "oh, fine, we'll win two or three next season, so long as it pays, but you can't expect a reduction in Thieving now."
Thieving: 44 Rush Yards, 3 TD, and a Cas! A growing gob getting the job done.
Nepotism, Corruption, Ransom, Bribery, Fraud: all contributing in their own way.
SWL: Season 62.
Nepotism and Dirty Pool have been slowed by unwarranted attacks, Fraud bought to an end, but Bribery and Corruption grow unchecked yet. A tally of 2/0/5 in tight games (other than the "surprises", drubbing by lowly rats, and smashing of dangerous Norse), the opposition are rightly fearful of us.
Our coach had more words of wisdom, "whatever, they're soon replaced when they die off and the more bribes we get the better, but we'll win three or four next season, if it suits Nuffle and the purse to do so, and soon become the greatest squad of Goblins this league has ever seen!"
Nepotism: 80 Rush Yards and 2 TD, even when missing a game with the injury.
Corruption, Thieving, Bribery, Dirty Pool, and Fraud: top contributions all around.
SWL: Season 63.
With Kickbacks flying, Conspiracy and even Extortion blocking the other teams anew, Corruption still growing, Anarchy smashing them, our squad is truly terrifying the fresh ones. A tally of 2/1/4 is a little off where it might have been given the dramatic improvements in the players.
Our coach was asked about this relative performance gap and replied, "stick it in your ear, you think it's easy getting this jumble of mismatched, overpriced, rubbish to do anything useful when they won't even stay on the pitch most days, why don't you try it. We are the greatest squad of Goblins this league has ever seen, but that doesn't mean we're any bloody good!"
Kickbacks: 84 Rush Yards and 4 TD! The lightning gob's a hero to the team.
Nepotism: 58 Rush Yards, 2 TD, and an Intercept. Pogo still quite the catch.
Corruption, Anarchy, Conspiracy II, Thieving, and Extortion: learning by doing.
SWL: Season 64.
Nepotism saw his end, Thieving softened up, and Corruption slowed again, all under the heels of Easy Mode. Conspiracy was hard to fell, and with Kickbacks flying like never before we tallied just 0/2/5, as the rest of the team stumbled about in his shadow. Dirty Pool proved his excellence once more.
Our coach was hard to track down. When we did he told us, "I'm so sorry, I just didn't know how to handle a season without bribes, and what it cost us to get them at the end was such a heavy loss. But we're still the greatest, and we'll smash the skulls of any team that dares say otherwise. It's not about winning anyway! Remember Nepotism, KILL ALL TACKLERS!"
Kickbacks: 81 Rush Yards, 8 Cp for 47 Yards, 2 TD, and a Cas. That says it all.
Thieving, Anarchy, Dirty Pool, and Corruption: top support for the magic goblin.
SWL: Season 65.
Kickbacks continues to lead from the back, and recover the fumbles of the rest of the squad all the way to the goal line, Thieving lending a hand more than once. The results came to a mere 1/2/4, but it's better than last season on just one bribe the whole way, and some of the most exemplary idiocy from the trolls.
Our coach was asked about his continuing failure to make it out of the regional divisions, he replied swiftly "Bribery and Corruption aren't just endemic to the SWL, their very home is in the reggies! The danger of early promotion must be carefully avoided if our run at the Premier is to be at the best it can be. We survived those tacklers again too, or at least 13 of us did."
Kickbacks: 41 Rush Yards, 9 Cp for 37 Yards, and 4 TD. Missed a game too.
Thieving: 31 Rush Yards, 1 Cp, 2 TD, and a Cas. Massive work and goblin too.
Conspiracy II and Corruption: blocking to free up the others is valuable work.
SWL: 1st annual Bob Borc Cup.
A knockout of a competition, we carefully eliminated ourselves immediately after Bob Borc let us know who was next, Nurgs and Rats and more, that lot can wait until our run at the premiers, let the Public Service take the weight off our shoulders.
When asked about the wisdom of such play, given the fame those other goblins got by winning one, our coach replied "What in the polar voids has fame got to do with it, this is a carefully crafted machine, we could've won that match and rightfully chose not to, those bigger teams won't stand a chance once we're ready. Premier 68, or 70, or whenever it may be, here we come!."
SWL: Season 66.
Our first trip to the Conferences lead us to our worst season yet with a tally of 0/1/6. Or our best, if one was to count the lack of punishment and growth into a fearsome monster of a team, suddenly capable of playing the ball, the likes the Regions will be rightly worried about for 67.
Our coach was asked, repeatedly, when he's going to take up a better team, to which he replied "They're a better team than they've ever been! There's no mistaking these goblins for anything but the best and most fearsome bunch that's ever set foot in the Southern Wastes. This is all going according to plan, dead set for a run at Premier 69, or 71 at the latest."
Kickbacks: 34 Rush Yards, 10 Cp, and a TD! Our backbone, hates kickers.
Thieving: 30 Rush Yards, 3 TD, and an Casualty. Nothing like needing an assist.
Secrecy (II) showing promise, while trolls and fanatic needed more casualties.
SWL: Season 67.
Back in the Regionals where our true home lies, this was a grand tour where we demonstrated ... seriously, Easy Mode again? Well, after beating the top team again, and some tacklers, a tally of 3/0/4 was had. With the right incentives, they may just let us back on our rightful run to premier!
Our coach was asked what the hell is Graft II still doing in the team, to which he replied "Shows how much you know, it's the only way to keep a massive team like this together, replacing players for every little skull fracture just leads to a team short on players. These are the greatest goblins the entire world has ever known, nothing like it has been seen before, and nothing like it will be seen again, and they already leak money like ... some sort of ... Bribery and Corruption scandal."
Kickbacks: 51 Rush Yards, 7 Cp, and 2 TD! Robbed of more, outstanding effort.
Corruption: 56 Blocks, 6 Cas. What a machine, beat Chorfs almost solo.
Nepotism II: 55 Rush Yards, 1 Cp, and 2 TD. Growing support for all.
Bribery, Fraud IV, Conspiracy II, Secrecy (II), Dirty Pool, massive, the lot.
SWL: Season 68.
Now was our run for premier. Former champions tied and beaten, then a rout against both the elves to end us. We tied both top teams, and beat the lesser ones, as Dirty Pool and Fraud IV both met shockingly unexpected ends. A tally of 2/2/3 is the least losses we've had since the Trials, and our second best total.
Our coach was asked what this meant for Goblins ever making premier, he quickly replied "There's a time and a place for everything, obviously we lack depth in the sort of sturdy tackling menace that brings down elves, and the rookie fouler was a menace to us as often as them. We're still the greatest goblins the world has ever known, don't you forget it, there's just a need for some rebuilding to cover the gaps that experience and raw talent found in our playbooks."
Kickbacks: 92 Rush Yards, 11 Cp, and a TD! The magic goblin, thrives.
Bribery: 52 Blocks and 6 Cas. Speed kills. So does Bribery, massive.
Secrecy II: 54 Rush Yards and 3 TD. If only he'd got that 4th.
Corruption, Fraud IV (rip), Thieving, Anarchy, terrifying support.
SWL: Bob Borc Cup II.
The draw was be important, we hit the Colour of Money and they refused to show up, leaving us in the clutches of the Fun Police, which left us short handed (and one less star pogo, and a hacked down Bribery) against the Cult of Monroe, who then smashed us even worse. Next season will be a tricky start.
Our coach made comment, "Those sneaky little bastards in the Colour of Money, they got the easy games and we got the hard ones. Foul play! But at least the new fouler got play, and won a boot. Long may he menace our foes, in confs, where we rightly remain!"
SWL: Season 69.
After that travesty of the Bob Borc Cup II, the team was short for it's first game, which spiralled into being short for most of the rest of them too. A tally of 1/1/5 is the worst season in a long time, and the team has fallen a long way from its best. Corruption, Kickbacks, even promising young Nepotism III, will be missed. At least they messed up some Wood Elves late in the season.
Our coach was grilled on the costs of attending the big games after such a punishing Cup. He replied with full vigour "I sent them out there to win games, not to hold hands. The team was soft, smashed on the scoreboard by elves and on the pitch by everyone else, their luck was bound to run out eventually. If Bribery felt it was time for Kickbacks to kick back, so be it, you don't argue with a hungry Troll, and he was having a rubbish season anyway."
Secrecy (II): 100 Rush Yards, a Cp, and 3 TDs! Good enough with a bit of luck.
Nepotism III (rip), Corruption II, Thieving, Dirty Pool II, Ransom V, still a team.
SWL: Season 70.
Back to the regions, rookie teams, but not for long, they grow quick and we faced some mean squads as our numbers fell before them, not to mention the big squads that came down with us. A final tally of 3/2/2 is the team's best yet, but the cost of it is massive with Secrecy (II), and even Racketeering VI, and Nepotism IV and V destroying the team's budget.
Our coach was lauded for having a shot at a cup for a bit. He was modest in reply, saying "I told you they were a good squad, with a great coach, on a prem run if every one was seen, ripe for S72. That Season 67-68 run was no fluke, genius, just too many tacklers, like this season, too much blodge the same, and too many dead goblins to keep the weapons on the pitch when it matters. S66, that was nice, no deaths, I could work with that."
Thieving: 88 Rush Yards for a massive 7 TDs! Big season for the big Gob.
Secrecy (II rip): 63 Rush Yards, 4 Cp, 3 TDs! What a little star he was.
Corruption II, Anarchy, Bribery, the heavies doing the business.
SWL: All CRP Championship.
Cleverly got ourselves promoted to the title race, by getting everyone else there too. This is it though, all the talk, all the prep, all the dead, all for this, the final go at taking the whole thing, and running off with it for good.
Watch out SWL, you ain't seen the last of Bribery and Corruption yet!