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Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jun 07, 2021 - 09:10 Reply with quote Back to top

Oh yip sireee Bob tis here, season 7 of the craziest show this side of the Rangitāhua. I am your host with the most, still filling in while Silky sits somewhere off the coast pursuing the original White whale of the Osbbl to apparently record his comeback hit with. I am the Mascara Snake one time session clarinet player in Silky’s band the tentacles and now somehow the ringmaster for this whole show.

Tis with mixed emotions I welcome the channeled spirit of Donald Trump Plague Censor bearer for the Putrid Proud the last player to fall in the Sucker cup. Well here is another platform for you sir.

Thank you Snake I totally will do the best job ever I am better than the best!! Yes news of my death is fake news I tell yer fake news I have totally cured death.

Well ok Trump let us have a look at the teams we have this season

ImageThe Shadows of Shadbolt (Trickey)

The Shadows are a strange force from the deepest stretch of the deserted Isles. Apparently the Vampires are the power behind the throne of the South. All we really know is in the Preseason they can hit yet seem to have better odds of removing their own squad rather than the opposition. What do you make of this southerly blast Trump?

Well let me tell you Snake They have brought a big squad with them and they will be looking to take on the mantle of the other vampire sides who haunt this league. Mid tabel would be a fair result for them on their first time out. Ball handling will be the issue and Lesley Rumballs will be a target for the opposition and her squad as well. Apparently she is using the circuit to promote her new Cabal vision show cooking with Rumballs. Like the Southern Sushi it is bound to be a hit.

ImageSlaaneshi Thunder,(felix17)

Slaanesh seems to be the favoured god of the leagues Nuffles tempting it to join the depravity that has been seen in Silky’s wild parties. The Slaaneshi Thunder are the latest side to ply their wicked trade in the league. They have been lingering around for a while playing the odd exhibition match and then allegedly partying with the Delicious Heresy. Expect groin strains. What do you make of this shower Don?

Well they look raw but apparently that is what Slaanesh likes. They will be looking to make an impression though as a rookie side I think they will just miss out on the play offs. The Bishop of Bath-on-Wells is a bit of an anomaly in Osbbl he had operated a while back for the Heresy after fleeing his parish. Then he was presumed dead after a heinous party yet now returns with the thunder. What evers going on keep an eye on this player. I tell you I feel like I know these players inside out they have popped in to a few of my parties.

ImageTheir Mothers Love them,(Smeborg)

The original and they would argue best holders of the Wilkinson sword. Back in season 1 when Silky Wilkinson was in full swing and I was but a distant memory. Nobody wanted to hang with the Hung. Mr Chuckles who they still wear the black armband for was brutally killed and honoured with joining me in the commentary box and this seems to have spurned their reentry into the league. Do you love them cheese Weasel I mean Donald?

No, have tried to hang with them and being Hanged would have been better. They are odd to say the least. Though can they do what no other team has done and take the sword twice maybe. Though a semifinal exit is my guess. Mr Chuckles is dead long live Well Hung after seeing what he did to the Troutmask replica in the Sucker cup he will be looking to continue to batter his way through the league.

Image Cheeky Cheesy Chappies, Mr Cushtie

The Cheeky Cheesy Chappies are back! Apparently they will go on sabbatical mid season to fish for more weapons. The Chappies were pipped to the Mullet last year and have truly entertained the crowds. What do you make of the Skyre trump?

Guns and wheels that's what I love these Skyre got the fire power them use shock and awe tactics to boot we like these Cheeky chappies we do. Jorge Balati is the Doom Flayer ready to steam roll the league. They won’t make the play offs but they will certainly entertain and end up in the mid table.

Image Gaen Vale Griffons,(Fool)

The Griffons are back again. This team is one of legend status and the Sword is the only thing missing from their trophy cabinet. They stumbled late last season just missing out on the play off places in a fashion that will not soon be forgotten. The Griffons are certainly at home here in the Osbbl and who knows how long they will be continuing to enjoy life in the league. Is this their year Trump?

Well they will be a vastly different team again but everyone in Osbbl knows they will be consistently good. Can they make the playoffs? Yes. Will they win it? I would place a bet on that happening this year. You can hear it now “all in for the Griffen!” (We would like to point out any betting on Blood bowl is not encouraged even if dead ex players recommended it and the Osbbl take no responsibility for any such loses-ed). Player to watch was Lyudmila Mikhailovna Pavlichenko but hanging up her boots due to a skincare contract who will take on her mantle Boudica is ready to take the spotlight again.

Image Beers, Babes and Bikinis, N_Vader

The holders are back! They came up trump's (excuse the pun-ed) in the Sword final and then hot footed it to the Sucker cup looking for the double. Their wee legs in that heavy armour though could only carry themselves so far. They look angry and ready to go again. They say this time they will take the sword and the Blender (the all time league Casualty record). From what we know, are we to doubt them Donald?

Slow and nasty they remind me of me. They actually asked me to play for them once I totally showed them how to take the trophy. The will hurt you. We know that they will hurt you bad! They will slowly march towards the play offs, will they win their conference, maybe but they aren’t unbeatable as seen in the Sucker cup exit. 26 game veteran Houtik is the sharp end of their attack and no matter where they go they will only care about the body count. Good dwarves.

ImageRum Rebellion,(Kransky)

Rum Rebellion arrived in these isles looking for freedom from the tyranny of sponsorship once the face of many a cabal vision advert they are looking to reinvent themselves. Here at the Osbbl we are only too happy to oblige. Pirates are not a new commodity here and have performed well in previous seasons. How will the rebellion fare?

Usurpers rebels I hate them all they should just take the sponsorships and be good little puppets. But let's look at this team they are tooled up and don’t particularly like each other in my mind that makes for a set of champions. They are Mullet bound and will dominate the lower echelons of the competition. Not-So-Jolly-Roger is the pirate with the plan so take him out before he can make an impression.

Image Philly Bay, (Foad)

The Witch elves of Philly Bay are back and they are looking to inflict their style of hurt on the opposition. They have been floating around the league sticking their knifes in when they can. The team is literally frothing at the gates ready to rip into this league. Can anyone hold back their frenzied run at the league Trumpy dump?

They are certainly the team to watch snake and I will be watching them. Ellie is the electric witch that will lead that charge. These Newbies are going all the way to the playoffs i tell you!

ImagePaain ,(kNine)

Rats Rats Rats, we have been continuously plagued by rats here in the Osbbl and this season is no different. Clan Moulder are back in a new form to dish out the Paiiin. Prime time Osbbl Fans will know Rat ogres have caused nothing but pain in this league. The Cheese Eating Bleader Monkees are the Blueprint of bash and rumour has it they are looking to rig the Sucker cup draw to show Paiiin who the real rats on the block are. Messy, Bloody, Painful I will pass this to you Trump.

They aint the Blender Monkees yet and I can’t see them scoring much but the Ultimate Warrior is a Rat ogre to fear. Runner up in the Mullet is where I think they will be.

ImageMiras Marauders, (Foad)

The Marauders are recent arrivals in the Isles and have been flexing in the preseason circuit though their last outing saw a local Forest Halfling team holding them to a draw (you just had to drop that in didn’t you-ed). These ladies hit hard and often and they are bound to make an impact on the league don’t you think Trump?

Oh yeah Warrior Women here to assert their dominance on the league and make Osbbl great again. They will most likely end up in the mid table limbo though truth be known. Early casualties will spell disaster. Oda Kühn is the odour of the season and this battle vixen will look to shake up the league.

Image Siren Song, (JPM)

The Siren Song are back from their unsuccessful assault on the Sword, dipping out to the eventual winners. The Song had an up and down season at times looking unbeatable to simply imploding and letting their teammates die, like properly die not undead die. Surely they will be on song this season Trump?

I tell you Snake these lot are nasty but yet to make a true impression on the league. The twin threat of Odysseus and Orpheus is the bread and butter of their attack and defence and they will be targeted mercilessly while their vamps who are no longer looking lightweight will no doubt frustrate someone. Midtable they will be bound or they may just sneak into the playoffs.

Image Khaiah, (Awambawam)

The Secret Smack champions they appeared on their ship fresh out of the Cibbl to ply their trade and here they went ahead and won the whole thing, despite the valiant efforts of the ninja flings (enough plugging your own sides-ed). We have seen it in the past where the Smack holders go on to take the Sword, will history repeat itself Trumphole?

These vagabond pirates coming over here and taking our trophies. It ain't right I tell ya it ain't right. They won’t trouble the playoffs in my opinion midtable is where they will end up. We welcome the arrival of the Sultan of Qanas and we know that he is here to make a lasting impression.

Image Miyuso Snake men The Tahlasee Rattlers

The Tahlasee Rattlers are back and they mean business. The Snakes slithered away after failing to make the cut a couple of seasons ago. They managed to slither through the first rounds of the Sucker Cup and everyone knows they have potential. Trump you feel kindred with these belly crawlers?

Now snake me and you both know that you feel kindred with this squad and especially their old player Cameron Sapp who you had an eye on. The Snakes will just miss out on the Playoffs this season Demetrius Powell is the player to watch as he brings his suffocating style to the Osbbl.

Image Banda Sagrada de Magritta, Arthur Wynne

The Gods of war are back having yet again slipped up in the Sucker Cup final these hardy foot soldiers are ready to slow their assault on the trophies. They are on the recruit and on the march. Will Myridia finally smile Trump?

Well everyone knows that the god of war is the only deity I will kiss the boots of and I love this squad they play proper rough and tumble stuff. Let them put the Blood back into the Bowl that is what I say. They will slowly march into the Semis. I believe the final might be too far. Antonio is the kind of player that can make a real impression on the league.

Image Captain Pollution (Black caps)

One thing we are obsessed with in these isles is which way the wind is blowing and it is no surprise to finally see an air elemental side turning up. They struggled through the Smack but ended up in the first ever Dead Rubber final unfortunately the Dead rubber sponsors pulled out at the last minute leaving it untenable. Well I know you are a big bag O wind Trump what do you reckon?

Pollution, Climate change is all fake news and this team is just like the rest of the Snowflakes in here. Duke Nukem though that is an element that I can get behind. I can see this lot dipping into the Mullet to be honest.

Thank you Trump I really look forward to sharing this platform with you (Fake News-ed). Whatever happens we know folks this is going to be a hell of a season strap in bring the pop Khorne and enjoy.

Stay weird peeps.

Joined: Sep 23, 2015

Post   Posted: Jun 07, 2021 - 12:58 Reply with quote Back to top

The approval of the Donald fills me with shame...

Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jun 08, 2021 - 11:15 Reply with quote Back to top

ArthurWynne wrote:
The approval of the Donald fills me with shame...

I know.

Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jun 08, 2021 - 19:48 Reply with quote Back to top

Message scrawled on a old cheese wrapper from Paxton Kins, chief warp grinder for the Chappies, just came through:

Stupid man-man things! The only thing ending up in a table is going to be the opposing coaches heads, when we finishing sawing them off. Submit now, and keep some of your fingers!

No idea what that could mean...

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