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Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Sep 12, 2023 - 19:28 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Season XXXI Week 3

Sorry for the rush job, but the DOTW office had a fairly substantial network meltdown last week and we are still scrambling. Everyone’s pretty sure that Randy clicked on one of those “free nudes” links that show up in our inboxes on the daily even though he swears he forwards them to his home email before he opens them. Regardless, we had to spin up a new server before we could get the report together. Luckily Debbie was able to find a great price on some new Argentinian servers and switches so things should be back to normal for next week’s post.

Dead of the Week

Penei Pavihi [HAW]: Pittsburgh blitzer; Dodge, Tackle, Frenzy, Jump Up
Brianna Ste-Croix [RMC]: Las Vegas lineman; Block, Fend, Dodge
Krampus [WAS]: Bungles tomb guardian; Guard, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut, Block
Kaaos Sos: Illadelph beastman; Block
Joe Goesboom: Los Angeles lineman; no skills

Death of the Week: Brendan Fraser must have been in town because it was an absolutely brutal week for tomb guardians. Cryptolina had one of their draft picks snapped, taking -AV, but the Bungles lost two: Kyle ‘Talus’ Fuller with -ST and this week’s Death of the Week, Krampus. With their 2-1-0 start, the Bungles were looking to take control in the North; now the future is much murkier. Will new undead star players arrive in time to save their season? Or will management use the loss of so much talent as a sign to start making some calls to Nehekhara?

Maimed of the Week

Kyle 'Talus' Fuller: Bungles tomb guardian (-ST); Guard, Mighty Blow, Block, Tackle, Diving Tackle, Stand Firm
Anderson: NOLA lineman (-AG); no skills
Udrithi Nym: Pittsburgh catcher (-AV); Wrestle, Tackle
notBaz Enjoys notLOS Duty: Mean Fae lineman (-AV); Shadowing
Michael Mafar [TT]: Illadelph chosen blocker (-AV); Block, Dodge, Guard
Gilotho Deler: Pittsburgh thrower (-MA); Running Pass, Pro
Isaiah Spiller [A&M]: Buffalo blitzer (-PA); +MA, +ST, Dodge, Side Step, Sure Hands, Defensive
Khalil Shakir: Buffalo assassin (-PA); Kick, Sure Hands
Kent Taylor [KAN]: Cryptolina tomb guardian (-AV); Block, Mighty Blow, Break Tackle, Guard

Total NI this week: 13
Total MNG this week: 19
Total stat busts this week: 11
Total deaths this week: 5
Grand total SI/RIP: 48

(if you're wondering why the listed players with injuries doesn't match the total, the reason is that I don't include player bios for stars or mercs, and we had two who took injuries this week)

Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Sep 19, 2023 - 01:37 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Season XXXI Week 4

What a week for deaths! And not to peek into the future too much, we’ve got another doozy comin’ atcha next week, too! While the Death of the Week was clinched ages ago, our technology woes continue, which has set the publication team back. We’re not sure how these internet pirates managed to get into our system again, but this time they used our financial information to order 20 cases of very nice wine, shipped to our office but addressed to “NotBaz”. At first our receptionist thought we were ordering supplies for the holiday party early, but there’s no WAY we would serve something this good to our staff. The current plan is to keep the wine for now in case this NotBaz villain shows up to claim their goods.

Dead of the Week

Martin: NOLA lineman; Block
Abram: NOLA lineman; Frenzy
Will Anderson: Houston lineman; Dodge
Ted Jennings [UCON]: Kansas City blitzer; Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm
Burry-Kiv'ren the Necrophile: Deadlanta flesh golem; Block, Guard, Mighty Blow
Seth B [BALL]: Szeattle witch elf; +ST, +ST, Block, Tackle, Side Step

Death of the Week: Seth B is dead. SETH B IS DEAD. THE WITCH IS DEAD!!!!!!!

Maimed of the Week

Ravens Flock: Baltimore lineman (-AG); Dirty Player, Block
Paolo [RMC]: NOLA lineman (-AV); +MA, Block, Dirty Player
Raegan Aerden: Trans-Fat Crisco blitzer (-AV); Mighty Blow
Andjort "The Switch" Cisco: Jakesonville lineman (-AV); no skills
Jesse Ventura [UmGO]: Illadelph Beastman (-AV); +MA, Block, Dodge, Guard, Mighty Blow
Salan Elsa: Szeattle lineman (-MA); Dodge
Rebecca Yabaro: Arizona hobgoblin (-MA); no skills
Will Clapp: Tijuana rotter (-MA); Dirty Player
Tadeusz Piotrowski [STF]: Kansas City blitzer (-PA); Mighty Blow, Tackle, Frenzy, +AG, Juggernaut, Stand Firm

Total NI this week: 11
Total MNG this week: 14
Total stat busts this week: 9
Total deaths this week: 6
Grand total SI/RIP: 40
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