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Recent Forum Topics  ramchop takes on the... | Blackbox Teams | Secret Stunty Cup IV |
2008-09-23 19:20:58
103 votes, rating 5.1
103 votes, rating 5.1
Men are just happier
NICKNAMES
+ If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
+ If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
+ When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
+ When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
+ A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
+ A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
+ A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
+ The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
+ A woman has the last word in any argument.
+ Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
+ A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
+ A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
+ A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
+ A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
+ A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
+ A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
+ A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
+ A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
+ Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
+ Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
+ Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
+ A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
+ If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
+ If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
+ When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
+ When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
+ A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
+ A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
+ A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
+ The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
+ A woman has the last word in any argument.
+ Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
+ A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
+ A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
+ A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
+ A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
+ A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
+ A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
+ A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
+ A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
+ Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
+ Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
+ Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
+ A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Comments
Posted by spinball on 2008-10-11 23:53:57
awesome, and so true
Posted by westerner on 2009-01-28 16:24:04
lulz!
Posted by torsoboy on 2009-01-29 02:04:43
girls eating each other out on the other hand...
Posted by Sockosensei on 2009-03-14 04:34:18
One section was missing:
TIME
A man lives a 24-hour day.
A woman lives a 21-hour day, plus a 3-hour break for makeup and hair styling.
PS: I'm sure there's enough material for a toilet paper section as well.
TIME
A man lives a 24-hour day.
A woman lives a 21-hour day, plus a 3-hour break for makeup and hair styling.
PS: I'm sure there's enough material for a toilet paper section as well.