Today, November 11th, is the international Foul an elf day.

It is the one, special day a year, where coaches get together across national and racial borders, to commemorate that one special gift Nuffle has given us to combat the rising problem of elven overpopulation: The Boot.

Some people mistakenly assume that fouling an elf is an evil, spiteful act. This could not be further from the truth. By mid-November, elves traditionally return to their forest, to hide in their trees, making them notably harder to hunt and kill. It therefore becomes necessary to thin the herd before this point, as they would otherwise multiply to numbers their fragile ecosystems would be unable to support.

Thus it becomes the right - nay duty - of any decent human being to do their part in keeping the elf population in check on this festive holiday. Special Fouling boots in this seasons shades of crimson can be bought from all well-stocked supermarkets.

Foul an Elf Day should not be confused with the equally festive Whack an Elf day, which is held on May 10th. On Whack an Elf day, elves begin to leave their forests in large numbers to admire the flowers that have sprung up as summer approaches. This is, naturally, the ideal time to hit them hard from behind, ensuring those elves least fit for survival are not permitted to pass on their genes.