Shark Tank Press Conference Room:

"Right you 'orrible lot! Quieten down, get in yer seats, you know the drill"

"Thank you for that Mr.Flatfoot. Ladies and gentlemen of the press, Cabalvision, thank you for attending."

"I am Mr.Wing, owner and Head Coach of the Sharks. Yes, i know, i do both, its "unheard of", "ridiculous" "will never work" etc etc we covered this last year and LOOK, I'M STILL HERE. HA!"

"hh-hmm, anyway, lets get down to business. Starting with the necessary business side of things, before we go to questions."

"The bank balance is extremely healthy, attendences were high all season, merchandise sales are excellent. We have established several merchandise outlets throughout the Empire. Outside of the club shop here in L'Anguille i must make special mention of the club shop in Brionne- they are buying up Sharks merchandise quicker than we can make and supply it. Its a shame they do not have a team in Brionne to follow but we are grateful that of all the other *chump* teams in the DLE we are glad you recognised us as the ones to support!"

"So now thats the boring stuff done, I now invite your questions."

Mr.Wing, Ormen Trusk, Sports Tri-Weekly. We have just finished the Draft for Season 3, how do you feel it went for the Sharks?

"Well to answer that we sort of need to revise last year before we can analyse this one.

If you remember last year we were the most active team in the DLE when we drafted 12 players to the roster. No disrespect to those 12 but we just needed to fill slots so there was no real concentration on synergies or personalities. we needed skills and we needed them fast or our maiden season would have been over before it started.

This year however was completely different. We only drafted 2 players- Case Keenum is a wonderfull young talented QB with enormous potential, Tahir Whitehead brings us a whole new level of smashmouth football we have been missing.

All-in-all i think we had a succesful draft, we improved in 2 key areas but also managed to acquire some additional picks for next years draft."

Pavel Lokren, Spike Magazine. You traded and released 9 from the squad. The same squad that seen you win the opening 7 games of the season, the foundation of your surprising venture to the Play-Offs- do you feel that is a fitting reward for such efforts?

"Thank you for bringing up that statistic, i couldnt have planted it better myself ;). Yes we had a great start to the season but if i am being honest, we were extremely lucky at times during that run. You yourself have commented, along with others of the Press, about the outrageous "Sharks Luck".

In honesty, yes we had some good, even great , players but they just didnt gel as well as i had hoped. Maybe thats my own fault with the rush and scattergun approach to the draft. Its a lesson learnt. We live and learn and i thought we needed to have an overhaul and really try and work on the team synergie and get us all working together."

Bobby Banner, Sports Bi-Weekly. How do you see your season going this year bearing in mind you share the SHC West with the current DLE Champions Kemperbad Knights?

"Well firstly let me say *cough*congratulations*cough*lucky* to the Knights on a marvelous win, but i must add, what the hell was that Punt all about from Averheim in the first half- that was a strange decision, wasn't it?

Any way, back to the Sharks, i beleive we have assembled a squad that is capable of going further this year, i wont say we will win it but we will do our best, maybe a little "Sharks Luck" along the way."

Yarek Nur, Ye Olde Worlde Gazzette. Goin' bak to der Sharks Roster an' Draf', ye dinnae hae a Ogre, yer the only team in t'DLE weout one, why is that? De ye hay sum sort o' grudge against t'Ogres? Are you an Ogre 'ater Mr.Wing?

"MR.NUR! That is a shocking thing to say, its absolutley not true, i have nothing against Ogres. In fact i have had 2 in this very team during last season- Vince Wilfork, Nuffle rest his soul, and then his cousin Vincent Pitchfork.

Unfortunately Ogres have a tendency to go AWOL during games, standing about picking their noses. They just need some extra care and attention to nurture them into the game. Generally causing more trouble than they are worth, nearly cost us several victories last season but i cant really go laying the blame at their giant ugly feet, there are others on the squad that didnt perform. In fact pretty much useless, dont know why i ever made Wilfork my Franchise Player, biggest waste of salary to date but then again we paid him in buckets of fish because he was too stupid to know he could have been paid in gold. Anyway, so where was i?

Oh, yes, we decided not to go with an ogre this year so we could be a little more flexible and reliable on the scrimmage line. It might backfire but thats a risk i am willing to put my linemen through.

If there are no more questions, i thank you for your time and look forward to seeing you in the Press Boxes here in the Shark Tank during the season. Mr.Flatfoot, if you would be so kind."

You heard the Boss, get the chuff out of here!