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Old 'Murican Gods
Roster [L] Norse

Who are they? Roaring through a strange rift in time, these old northern demigods from 'Murica are here to invade the Deserted Isles Blood Bowl Leeg in the name of the holy trinity: The Dollar, The Big Mac, and The Gun.



The Old 'Murica Gods, colloquially referred to as the OMG, was formed in 2518 as a Blood Bowl team, made up of players who travelled through time. They have a guide who knows the locale, but they take care of coaching themselves. They aspire to spread the holy gospel of the holy trinity, through winning the DIBBL and becoming famous on CabalVision.
Casualty TypesPlayers (Red are Journeymen)
Killed
Minus StrengthNobody
Minus Movement
Minus Agility
Minus Armor
Niggling Injury
Miss Next Game
Portrait#PlayerPositionSPPsReasonNotable StatsFast Facts
12Bart RecycledRunner49DeadTDs: 8 MVP: 5 Rushing: 105Smashed by a fouling skeleton on the cusp of Stardom
10Sylvester BalboaBerserker13DeadBlocks: 31 Rushing: 44 TD: 3Was shaping up to be something special, but bad apo usage resulted in his death.
13Shooty DriverLineman8DeadBlocks: 20 Comp: 1Was a decent Guardian
7Car GasolineRunner6DeadTDs: 2Cut down in his prime by a rat, before he could become great.
9Harold ChryslerLineman0DeadBlocks: 10Nothing noteworthy
12Blade SnipesUlfwerner0Broken collarbone (-ST)Blocks: 15Nothing noteworthy
(Sorted by SPP from highest to lowest in no particular order)


Man With No Name connecting with Wolf Jackedman for the gamewinning touchdown, when they were the only two players left on the pitch for the OMG.

Season 12 Second Place in Injury Time!!! division
Certificate of Participation for the Season 12 "Tickling" Cup playoffs.
Overall Training Preseason Record: 5 Wins 3 Draws 4 Losses

Game 1: Da Nob, Da Bomb, and Da Fungus LOST 1-2

A tough loss for the demigods, word is that they attribute it to time-lag. Fact is, they were not prepared to face these... green skinned monsters. It would have been a complete 0-2 loss, but Shooty Driver helped reclaim some of OMG's honor with a desperate pass to Slyvester Balboa who was able to run it into the end zone.

Game 2: Brute Brute WON 2-0

An exhibition match with a non-league outsider. They were more greenskins. The match was brutal, with half of the team going into the dugout to recover, but the OMG managed to pull off a 2-0 win with Rock and Slyvester running the ball in for scores. Tragically, Blade snapped his collarbone. This serious injury is making him consider leaving the team for good, but he's staying on for one more match, at least.

Game 3: Double Happys LOST 0-2

Another match with greenskins. Is the Deserted Isles populated entirely by greenskins? Well, these were very froggy and smashable. The OMG team smashed most of their players up, but they had a giant crocodile frog hybrid that smashed right back... A hard loss, Ram-Bo was nearly severely injured, but luckily the team doctor, a fellow by the name of Dr. Apartment, was able to patch the worst of the damage up.

Game 4: Chokeland Graders LOST 0-1

Finally, OMG played aganist a team that didnt have green skin! But these were straight up monsters, strangely dressed in construction clothes... The game was friendly, and hard fought, the outcome of the match was up in the air the entire time. The local mercenary OMG hired really earned his keep in that game.

Game 5: Dick Tracy's Detective Agency LOST 0-2

The local detective agency offered a friendly match against OMG, and OMG accepted. These human detectives couldn't be as monstrous as the actual monsters OMG played against, could they? In fact, they could. OMG was beat up badly. In one of the highlights, Ram-Bo made a series of impossible dodges to attempt to prevent the ball carrier from scoring a second time. He did not succeed on knocking down the carrier, but the fans loved him for trying. On the more tragic side of things, Harold Chrysler died this game, being smashed by an overly muscled detective.

Game 6: Morgweigan DREW 1-1

Battered, but not down, the team faced an entourage of sycophants and their star ogre, the fearsome Morg n' Thorg. Morg was able to pick up a early score, and later on, one of the sycophants smashed Shooty Driver's hip, making him a wee bit slower. Man With No Name orchestrated a brutal drive downfield, until Morg himself came in with a few flunkies and completely stonewalled OMG's progress downfield along the southern sideline. Ram-Bo, ever the fans' hero, decided to go mano a mano with the giant ogre, landing a few glancing blows that pushed him out far enough for Rock Johnson to swing around a blocker that was previously supported by the monster ogre, and rip a hole in the side of the Morweigan defenses, big enough for Man With No Name to slip through and flee for the score, tying the game up.

Game 7: Bullies Butchers WON 2-0

Elated by the hard-won tie in the previous game, OMG accepted an challenge from a team of frenzied daemons. This game went smoothly with Ram-Bo and Man With No Name both carrying the ball in for scores, but on the negative side, daemons are daemons, and they dealt several nasty injuries in their loss, resulting in three demigods who has to miss the next game.

Game 8: Eisechatten Fighting Cockerels DREW 1-1

Winnowed down to a small squad from the daemons, OMG went to the famed halfing coliseums of the Deserted Isles in hopes of getting a reasonable recovery game against one of the halfing squads while the three injured players could recuperate. Scouting yielded reports of a halfing team that fielded only halfings, so OMG issued a challenge, believing them to be easy, but in a scary bait and switch, it turned out that the wee laddies had enough cash to hire a pair of trees to play for them against OMG. They said that it was only fair, the OMG team was much larger, sizewise, than them, but we all know that halfings are dirty players and can't be trusted. These trees walloped OMG's asses, being as hard as, well, trees, to take down. The game was well-fought, but the score ended in a 1-1 tie.

Game 9: Empire of Ash DREW 1-1

With a full squad, OMG went to have another game, this time against a group of greenskins and dwarves, and two horse-dwarves. By this time, OMG had enough experience to play well, but tragedy struck on the very first turn where Shooty Driver was targeted for a deadly block by one of the Ash-ers. His smashed hip slowed him down enough to not allow him to guard against the nasty hit. The coach decided to allow him to die a respectable death, and save some money instead of sending the apothecary to possibly heal him. This was a move widely questioned by the fans, and Coach Klazam has not provided a reasonable explanation for this... excessive thriftiness. The game ended in a 1-1 draw, though.

Game 10: Moaning Miners WON 2-1

This was the first time that OMG faced a pure dwarven team, and they were not prepared for how hard these stocky people were capable of hitting. The game started relatively well when Rock Johnson noticed a dwarf in their backline revving a chainsaw, of all things. Rock went to take out this dwarf before he could cut any demigods to pieces, and the hit Rock laid out was something to remember, and to repeat. Flint Churnblade was out of the game before he even started playing. After that point, it became a race against time, in the sense OMG had to score before they got wiped clear of the pitch. Rock went down soon to a well-executed foul after that opening blitz, then players just kept dropping. These dwarves were nasty and mean close-range fighters, more so than any other team OMG had faced up to that point. After all this abuse early in the game, Man With No Name executed a clean handoff to the Governator who ran it in for the first score of the game. The kickoff then went to the Moaning Miners, who formed a singleminded cage and focused on the removal of all the demigods from the pitch, progressing down the field to tie up the game. Slyvester Balboa went down to a nasty right hook. Coach Klazam decided to sic the apothecary on him, to make sure he wouldn't miss the next game, and would be back for the second half. Perhaps this overeager usage of the apothecary was due to the backlash from the fans for letting Shooty Driver die? It proved in vain when the six players who took the field to kick the ball for the second half became five. Slyvester Balboa was turfed and killed nearly immeditaly by the dwarves, who proceeded to smash about and remove players from the pitch. The dwarf ball carrier broke free early on, but decided to stop just short of the end zone, to posture and lead the Miners' fans in anti-murican chants. When five became three and in the waning moments of the game, Man With No Name was able to break free of the quicksand of the dwarf line, blitz the dwarf runner who had the ball, smash him in the turf badly (in the name of Slyvester), pick up the ball and fire a red-hot hail mary pass to Wolf Jackedman, who was able to make the miraculous catch. Wolf then strolled in the end zone unopposed in the last minute of the game to turn a defeat in a victory by the most impressive method.

Game 11: Bonesfield Bakers WON 1-0

On a high from the previous game, and with all the players recovered, OMG challenged the Bakers, a skeleton and mummy team. This game was cleanly fought, with a nice punt late the second half to seal the game up and render the Bakers unable to win entirely. Angry Max scored a touchdown, and Ram-Bo caused two casualties.

Game 12: Pointy Eared Killing Machines WON 2-1

The game started with the dorfs fielding a chainsaw AND a deathroller. That did not look good for OMG, but luckily, they were slow to set up, and Rock was able to punch a hole through the line to stun the chainsaw dwarf. This merely stunned him, but may have messed up the chainsaw's lethality somehow. The demigods focused on outlasting the dwarves all throughout the first half, having Bart Recycled score a touchdown, then the PEKM equalized. At halftime, the dirty Dwarf coach tried to bribe the ref to let the chainsawer and the Deathroller stay on the pitch, but the ref pocketed the bribe and laughed. The dwarves, being down 4 players, put up a valiant fight vs the demigods, who seemed unstoppable at times. OMG grabbed a hard-earned victory with Angry Max's score at the end of the game. With this game out of the way, OMG finally qualified for the DIBBL tournament.

Overall record: 3 Wins, 2 Draw

The OMG qualified for Season 12 of the DIBBL league tournament. The commissioner took one look at the squad of demigods, and assigned them to the Injury Time!!! division. Also in the division were; Transfusion Time, a squad of menacing vampires with aeons of blood bowl experience; Blackwater Sting, a young team of Dark Elves captained by a legend of the sport, Don Marino; Harauki Horrors ; a undead team with... monsters; mountain gorillas, a team of literal monkeys led by a strong chimp by the name of hired help; and Whaka Warpfire, a team of rookie skaven. Later on, the coach of the OMG found that bookies put the OMG at fifth place in the division. Obviously these bookies don't know the power of the holy 'Murcian trinity. The OMG's goal is to hit third place or better this season.

Game 1: mountain gorillas WON 2-1

OMG won the toss, and elected to kick. Some fighting happened in midfield, then hired help (Chimp) broke free and caught a long pass from cannon (Orangutan) for the quick score. The Governator (Lineman) tried to stop the monkey but was smashed in the turf and knocked out for his trouble.

On the second drive, Man With No Name (Thrower) picked up the ball and waited for an opportune time while his two receivers was down the field jockeying to get free. hired help snuck past all the 'Murcian defenders to get a direct shot on Man With No Name, popping the ball free then leaping to pick it up. Fortunately for the demigods, Wolf Jackedman (Ulfwerner) was able to get free with help from Charles North (Yhetee), and hit hired help hard, stunning him. Man With No Name recovered and connected with Bart Recycled (Runner) who ran it in for the equalizer.

In the second half, Man With No Name received the ball again, and stood back as everyone else fought to get a receiver free. After some time, an opportunity presented itself, and he handed the ball off to Car Gasoline (Runner) who stalled for time, despite some heroic attempts at taking him down from hired help. As the time ticked down to zero, Car Gasoline walked it in for the decisive 2-1 win.

Game 2: Transfusion Time DREW 2-2

Knowing Transfusion Time was massively favored by the oddsmakers, Coach Klazam of the OMG enlisted the help of two mercenaries in the match. They were Zara the Slayer and the mighty Morg ‘n’ Thorg. OMG won the toss, and elected to kick to the Vampires.

The rookie Scorcher (Vampire) picked up the ball but immediately passed it to Ice King (Vampire) who stayed ensconced in a secure cage of thralls and fellow vampires. Zara got busy, stabbing Mr Pig (Thrall), who was strong, but not strong enough to resist a stake to the chest. Transfusion Time methodically made their way down the field, at one point slipping through OMG’s backline, to establish themselves firmly out of reach. OMG attempted to remove some Vampires from the pitch while waiting for Ice King to walk it in, but OMG had no luck with that. Transfusion Time dominated the half, scoring 1-0 in the waning moments of the half.

With one turn left on the clock, Transfusion Time kicked the ball to the sideline. This sparked a riot among some rowdy fans, causing the refs to lose track, and set the clock back one more turn, giving OMG breathing room. Bart Recycled (Runner) set himself up in a cage firmly in the middle of Transfusion Time’s side. Man With No Name (Thrower) then ran to recover the ball, but bobbled it, placing it in the hands of a fan who threw it towards midfield. Man With No Name chased it all the way back up, then attempted to pass to Bart Recycled who couldn’t hang on the ball. With that, the half ended.

On the second half’s first drive for OMG, Man With No Name recovered the ball while Car Gasoline (Runner) and Bart Recycled established themselves deep into the opposing half. Ram-Bo (Berserker) stood in a key position to guard Man With No Name, but was hypnotized by Marceline(Vampire), blowing a wide hole open in the front line and allowing The Lich (Vampire) to blitz and smash in Man With No Name, putting him on the turf and knocking the ball loose. Undeterred, Man With No Name stood up, dodged away from The Lich, picked up the ball, and fired it off at Car Gasoline who caught it and made his run for the end zone for the equalizer.

OMG set up to kick, but kicked it short, and blitzed their way to be able to receive the ball. Bart Recycled was the one who ended up with the ball, and he fought his way through Transfusion Time’s line with the help of a lot of OMG blockers who cleared his path. Bart Recycled was able to make the go-ahead score, putting the score 2 to 1 in favor of OMG.

The Lich received the kick off, and his team established a line along the sidelines, eventually passing the ball to Ice King deep in OMG’s side. Ram-Bo saw this, and orchestrated his team in clearing the path, then blitzed Ice King, knocking the ball loose and catching it. When it seemed that OMG would be able to stall out the clock, The Lich blitzed Ram-Bo, getting him down and the ball free again. It was here when Ice King pulled off an incredible hypnosis on Wolf Jackedman (Ulfwerner) which then allowed Flame Princess (Vampire) to slip past OMG, pick up the ball, and score. The clock then ran out, ending the game at a two to two draw.

Game 3: Whaka Warpfire WON 2-0

This game was unspectacular. OMG elected to kick, but stole the ball off the Warpfires in short order, while sending a load of rats to the dugout in the first half. There were a few dramatic moments, but the half ended with Ram-Bo (Berserker) handing off to Rock Johnson (Ulfwerner) inside the end zone for the cheeky score.

In the second half, Man With No Name (Thrower) received the ball, hanging on to it for most of the second half (taking a big hit from a daredevil, but getting up and recovering.) Tragedy struck in the middle of abusing the rats on the field, when one of them took a heroic blitz to kill Car Gasoline (Runner). Dr. Apartment (Apo) couldn't save him. The half ended when Man With No Name strolled in the endzone unopposed.

Game 4: Blackwater Sting WON 2-1

During the season, the OMG coaching staff was eyeing Blackwater Sting with dread because of their legendary Blitzer, Mickey "The Don" Marino. Now they finally come to play this game. Pregame, Coach Klazam promised a bonus to whoever was able to take down Mickey permanently.

On the first half, the Sting gave up multiple opportunities for hits on Mickey, but his skills pulled through, and the Sting was able to burn some time on the clock and have Andrew Andretti-Armani (Blitzer) walk in for an easy score. Man With No Name (Thrower) tried to orchestrate a quick return score, but failed to throw the ball into coverage from Andrew.

In the second half, OMG went for the quick score, having Ram-Bo (Berserker) land a hit on Mickey that had the entire stands on their feet, wondering if Mickey would ever get up again. After the Sting's Apothecary showed up and administered some dubious treatment, Mickey popped up being no worse for the wear. Ram-Bo was pissed that he missed out on the Coach's bonus, but life goes on. Man With No Name scored soon after this. On the Sting's return drive, Damien DeNiro (Blitzer) slipped and fell, giving OMG an opportunity to get Brian Jogger (Runner) nearly to the ball. Mickey tried to do some fancy dodging, but tripped, allowing Brian a free touchdown run. On the third kick this half, Dan Capelli (Blitzer) developed a unfortunate case of fumbleitis, failing to pick up the ball multiple times. Mickey got free, and went to the end zone on the last minute remaning in a desperation bid for the tie score, but Ripley Weaver (Berserker) was having none of this and introduced Mickey to his loving fans. They smashed his ankle. The Sting failed to score, and OMG won this game.

On to the Horrors, and a potential first place in the division with a win. As a side note, Klazam refused to give Ripley her bonus, because according to him, it was the fans who hurt Mickey, not Ripley.

Game 5: Harauki Horrors DREW 1-1

This game meant a lot to OMG. A win here meant that OMG was probable to claim the top spot in the division, a draw meant second place, and a loss meant OMG was out of contention for the Cup. Good ol' 'Murcian pride meant that OMG were gonna play as hard as possible for the win here. Coach Klazam scouted the opposition beforehand, and discovered they were a bunch of undead. One of his contacts was a star player named Zara, but OMG was short 20k, so Klazam went to a shady goblin banker by the name of Gnotsfield (one of the movers to benefit off the collapse of the SWL). Gnotsfield agreed to loan the 20k necessary, but in exchange for conducting experiments on one of the demigods. Ripley (Berserker) bravely volunteered. Nobody knows what happened, including Ripley, who came back with a case of amnesia, forgetting how to guard opposing players.

The first half was a tense affair, where Zara the Slayer earned her keep through stabbings of ghoulies. Bart Recycled (Runner) was able to score a defensive touchdown, after a huge melee in the middle forced the Horrors to take a risk and expose Merani Mayhem (Wight) who was carrying the ball. Zara and some other demigods was able to take him down and steal the ball.

In the second half, Man With No Name (Thrower) fumbled a pass that would have allowed OMG to score and go up two. The OMG line stood up to the Horrors' assualt, allowing Man With No Name to grab the ball and go it again, passing to Bart Recycled, who saw daylight, and ran for the endzone, but he neglected to check for the endzone tripwire the devious Horrors coaching staff installed the night before. The Horrors recovered and easily scored with Cliffton Clinger (Zombie) stopping Ram-Bo (Berserker) from being a hero and taking down Third of First (Ghoul). Third of First scored, then the time ran down. It was a 1-1 draw! OMG qualifies for the Cup playoffs with their second place in the division.


"Tickling" Cup Playoff record: 1 Loss

Game 1: Wild Ex-Pacts LOST 0-2

The first playoff that OMG entered, and it's the top tier playoffs for the prestigious Cup.

What?

Its over already?

What happened? Nobody knows much, except that everyone woke up the next day feeling violated.... Worst off is Ram-Bo and Bart Recycled, who'll need to sit out the beginning of the next season.


Overall record: 2 Wins, 2 Draws, and 1 Loss

Back from being smashed in the "Tickling" Cup playoffs on their inaugural season in the DIBBL, the OMG enters season 13 with high expectations of their team. Coach Klazam got the schedule for the season ahead of time, and had the team practice aganist their intended first round opponent, a rematch with the Blackwater Sting, but a suprise dropout from the other pool led to a reshuffle of matchups across the board. Klazam was dismayed to find that the OMG had to contend with the Back Alley Burglars, a monstrous ogre team led by Chop, the all time greatest rusher of the DIBBL. What made it worse was that two of OMG's star demigods were still recuperating from what happened to them in the playoffs.

Along with the Burglars and the rematch with Mickey "Don" Marino's Blackwater Sting, are those teams that OMG will play this season; Whaka Warpfire, the slightly-more-than-just-rookie Skaven team; Crouching Saurus Hidden Skink, a battered but powerful Lizard team; Bonesfield Bakers, a rematch with the Skeleton team that they played in the preseason training; High Elvis, a sharply culled High Elf team with an jack of all trades Legend; and the second Khornite team, the death on the wind.

Game 1: Back Alley Burglars LOST 0-2

At first the OMG were apprehensive about this match, but the hiring of two strong mercenaries, Morg n' Thorg and Icepelt Hammerblow, made this matchup closer. Both sides had colossally strong players to clash with each other.

The game started on a bloody note, with Charles North (Yeti) nearly killing Bully (Ogre), but the apothecary saved Bully and patched him up. That was the one bright point early game for OMG, unfortunately, as Chop (Ogre) took charge with his expertise, breaking free of the scrum easily and scoring. The OMG try to equalize, but Chop smashes through tackle zones and lays out a brutal hit on Brian Jogger (Runner), removing him and OMG's chances of scoring.

In the second half, OMG tried to mount a drive, but a sneaky diving tackle snot took out a key blitzer to open the way to score, letting Chop do his thing again and score on OMG again.

Considering the experience of the Burglars, the OMG team is fine with this loss, especially since two of the team's leaders were sitting the game out.

Game 2: Whaka Warpfire WON 2-0

RECAP COMING

Game 3: Crouching Saurus Hidden Skink DREW 3-3

RECAP COMING

Game 4: Bonesfield Bakers WON 2-1

RECAP COMING

Game 5: Blackwater Sting DREW 2-2

RECAP COMING

Show matches | Show stats | Show Development | Show past players | View Roster | Yearbook | Team Options | Refresh
Progression: Standard
# Name Position Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs vp Sp Cost  
1Maverick CruiseNorse Runner7347Block, Dauntless, +AG, Dodge 5070012690k (90+60k) 
2Wilson SmithersNorse Lineman6337Block 1500000050k (50+0k) 
3 Angry MaxNorse Lineman6336Block, Guard-av3502010850k (50+30k) 
4 Wolf JackedmanUlfwerenar6428Frenzy, Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Break Tacklen3101019461110k (110+80k) 
5Jon WayNorse Thrower6337Block, Pass 800000070k (70+0k) 
6Ross CrowNorse Lineman6337Block 1500000050k (50+0k) 
7Johnny CageNorse Runner7337Block, Dauntless, Dodge 510001690k (90+20k) 
8 Ram-BoNorse Berserker6337Block, Frenzy, Jump Up, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm 340201645890k (90+80k) 
9Charles NorthYhetee5518Frenzy, Claw, Disturbing Presence, Loner, Wild Animal, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut, Guard, Stand Firm-ag2800016452140k (140+80k) 
10James CragNorse Lineman6337Block 300000050k (50+0k) 
11 Rock JohnsonUlfwerenar7528Frenzy, Block, Mighty Blow, +ST, +MA 3504019575110k (110+120k) 
13Ripley WeaverNorse Berserker6337Block, Frenzy, Jump Up, Tackle 2010011890k (90+20k) 
15 The GovernatorNorse Lineman6337Block, Dirty Player 34020011150k (50+20k) 
16Crispy PratNorse Lineman6337Block 500000050k (50+0k) 
14 players  
Coach:Klazam Re-Rolls (120k):4  
Race:Norse Fan Factor:9  
Team Value:1980k Assistant Coaches:0  
Treasury:200000 Cheerleaders:0  
Tournament Weight:1980k Apothecary:Yes  

Games Played:36 (16/10/10) |TD Diff:8 (50 - 42) |Cas Diff:30 (67/31/6 - 47/17/10)
Last Opponent: High Elvis