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Black Swans
P [L] Dark Elf
SWL Season XLIX Premier Division Champions!

Team History:

Angry Asgardians Conference XXXX: 5th

Too many draws, with a 2-4-1 result in the end. Had that loss been a win we'd have still won the conference, but it most certainly wasn't to be in a pretty miserable game - the only highlight being managing to somehow break my own (namesake's) jaw.

Duke Snakefield Conference XLI:

A first round loss marred an otherwise excellent season. We could only just scrape through a draw against the eventual winners, but second on 5-1-1 was enough for the wild-card spot into premier next season.

SWL Premier League XLII: 7th

Premier! But certainly not the title with a 2-1-4 result. Plenty of early losses, the main consolation being winning the last-place playoff in the last round. Also took a beating, clearing away two injured players early but picking up a stack more later on.

Cereal Revenge Conference XLIII:

A poor start losing our first game turned into a close fought battle. It came down to the last round where we just needed a win to win the conference, but in the end we were happy to even scrape out a draw for third place on 4-2-1 in a messy and bloody game. The team continued to bloat up over the course of the season, except for the loss of Daniel Hannebery, our top star and casualty machine.

Sinister Duskriders Conference XLIV:

A slow start with two draws against what turned out to be our main rivals, both of them coming after being up 2-0 just after half time and the first the result of two intercepted passes. After that, the BBQers paved the way for an easy conference win for us by defeating all of the other competition while also forfeiting two games to keep themselves out of contention. This gave us the conference win with a round still to go. 5 straight wins to finish 5-2-0 no doubt also helped. The team is so bloated as to barely be making any income, but also lost no players this season, leaving us quite well positioned for what looks like an elfballing premier next season.

SWL Premier League XLV: 4th

A very promising start was followed up by two horrible games that finished up 2-0 losses, putting us out of contention, though not in all that much danger of relegation. Along the way though we've lost two of our most agile players. Goodsie was killed (apo rerolled to killed) while holding the ball after a blitz k.o. result in the final basically dead-heat game of the season. Dolphin was retired due to having racked up too many injuries, leaving us without a guardsman. Overall the team survived the season and stayed in Premier, but now comes into the next looking less impressive than they were for the previous. Hopefully with a bit of luck we can finally get there next time.

SWL Premier League XLVI: 5th

Inexperience with playing against Slaan resulted in a first round loss, and a couple of games later we were ground into dust by the eventual winners, knocking out any hope of a title fairly early on. However, a lot of the other teams' games were drawn, leaving us with a shot at second place in the last round despite having as many losses as wins. We were feeling pretty confident, and only needed a draw to stay in Premier, but Nuffle wasn't having it as we took a solid beating for the second time this season and found ourselves relegated on tiebreakers (to a team which redrafted anyway, how annoying). The team is carrying a lot of injuries and no cash, so a season or two in conference hiring journeymen will hopefully do us some good.

Deadmen Wrestling's Conference XLVII:

Nuffle was on our side as we blitzed through the first four games to take an unassailable lead in the early season, with hopes of breaking season records for touchdowns and potentially even overall winning margin. It might have had a demoralising effect on the rest of the conference though as the end of the conference was marred by a general lack of activity. A pending forfeit drained our hopes of a season TD record, and a 1-1 draw (which we were, due to some bad luck, quite lucky not to lose, though also quite unlucky not to win on the last turn) left us going into the final game actually prefering to lose if anything, since we had 1st place either way. And lose we did, making so many mistakes it probably looks suspicious. Hopefully it's a wake-up call to stop relying so much on good luck and actually play well for premier next season.

SWL Premier League XLVIII:

The season started with a rematch of the last game of the previous season, this time thoroughly in our favour, but that was quickly followed two frustrating losses, one against the other dark-elves in a game that could easily have been ours, and the other a virtual pitch clearing and team mangling by the Whalekillers. After those games, our hopes mainly switched to simply surviving the season and staying in the division, which was something we managed to just barely scrape our way into. Another shot then next season, although the team is really thinning out with few regular players remaining and many of the old stars gone.

SWL Premier League XLIX:

We finally did it! A first both for this team and for coach Irgy in general. A spectacular season with 6 wins and only one loss against Slumbering Skink, the team that seems to be our nemesis. Luck was on our side as we started the season, defeating two of the other agility teams fairly comfortably. Things looked grim as the loss to Slumbering Skink meant we would have to rely at least a little on other results, and we lost three players in the next game against the Whalekillers (although we won at least). As it turned out though this was just what we needed, as we used journeymen to man the LOS against the two murder teams and had enough inducement money to hire stars and therefore have reserves when we needed them most. When Slumbering Skink got torn to pieces by those same two murder teams we had ourselves the title with a round to spare. Although the team is short on rostered players, Jetta, Tony and the strong-men Bam Bam and Hatchling are still around to provide the talent we need and there's plenty of potential new talent on the way.

SWL Premier League L:

A respectable season, just too many draws. Our only loss all season was from a T16 one-turn-touchdown which we simply didn't prepare for, and as it turned out we only would have needed to have held on to our 2-0 lead just after half time against the eventual winners and we'd have got there. But those games being the second and third of the season, with a draw for the first, meant we gave up on the title fairly early on. A strong finish leaves us still in the top group for next season. The remaining stars of the team all survived the season, although Jetta continues to pile up more and more injuries. However we've lost some of the new players along the way and so we're still struggling to field a full team of regulars.

SWL Premier League LI:

Another season with poor early results, although this time we were still in it until round 5 when we played the eventual winners, and we indeed would have taken the title were it not for losing that game. Unfortunately it wasn't to be as despite giving ourselves plenty of chances to we basically never got the ball loose on the opposition drives. It's a little frustrating to have our own victory followed by a double-victory from another team both on the back of an unfavourable head-to-head result. We look forward to recovering our rightful place at the top next season. Our team is starting to look strong again with some promising players and no critical losses.

SWL Premier League LII: 8th

A highly forgettable season, with game after game where the players couldn't get anything right. 1-1-5 result for last place and finally expelled to conference after 4 straight seasons in Premier. Only highlight was a rare win against Slumbering Skink. The team's almost-legends Jetta and Tony survived the season at least, though losing the very promising Shane Biggs in the last round dead-heat playoff for the wooden spoon was a miserable end to the season.

The URN 2103/2014: Victory!
The Swans represented the SWL in The URN, facing off against WIL's Pine Valley Cosmonauts in what worked out to be the deciding 5th game. Despite being on a run of losses within SWL, the team stepped up to the plate to claim the title for SWL.

SWL DB Conference LIII: 4th (of 12)
An odd season of 12 team conferences and no regionals, the Swans performed ok with a 4-1-2 record leaving them in fourth, a win short of the three way tie for first place - a decent result but not enough for promotion. A topsy-turvy season with a mix of good games and bad but with the team mostly surviving except for the retirement of Bam Bam.

Dropbear Bitter Conference LIV:
The team appeared to be back in form starting the season with 5 wins in a row. The success must have gone to the players' heads as they then dropped concentration for the final two games to choke from a seemingly unbeatable start. Fortunately it was still enough to make it through to Premier. The season involved the deaths of a lot of journeymen but no permanent players injured all season, as the team continues the ongoing struggle to regain a full roster.

SWL Premier League LV: 6th
Poor results the whole way through left the Swans in a position where we'd given up, with each of the final 5 games to be played needing a specific result for us to have even a theoretical chance. Then, one by one, the results came in, each one in the direction we needed. It seemed like fate was being manipulated in our favour. And so we came to the final game with possibly the flattest scorecard in Premier history, where a win would in fact give us the title while a loss would leave us dead last. The game started off terribly, however fate seemed to be on our side as it turned around, and we suddenly found ourselves with a rock-solid stall for victory. Even after a chain push into the end zone stopped the stall, our defence was looking solid. Then, right on the final Blackwater Sting found a crazy, impossible play. The worst moment in the history of the team came as we watched as the ball sail half the length of the field and our almost certain hopes of a second title turned into a draw, 6th place, and relegation to boot.

Dropbear Bitter Conference LVI: 8th
Disspirited by the previous season, which had also involved the retirement of our key hitter Tony Armstrong, the team hit a slump, losing 5 games straight. Facing regionals, a shortage of players, and having run out of player names to boot, coach Irgy decided it was a good time to make a change. Jetta lives on as the only original player on the team, despite being a massive target and the most fragile player possible on a DE team.

Tables as of the team's retirement from SWL:

Current Players
Past Players
0-56-1516-3031-5051-7576-175176+


TopName#
GamesJetta
108
Completions (265)Jetta
137
Touchdowns (237)Kieren Jack
20
Interceptions (3)B2
2
Casualties (194)Tony Armstrong
65
Most Valuable Player (116)Bam Bam
10
Star Player Points (1950)Jetta
226
Passing (1061)Jetta
593
Rushing (3625)Jetta
1249
Blocks (3770)Tony Armstrong
526
Fouls (23)Krusty
4
Scoring ThrowerJetta
14
Blocking ThrowerB.L.T.
8
Blocking ScorerTom Mitchell
13
TripleB.L.T.
8
All-rounderB2
2


Notable Players:
Jetta - A walking paradox, the only surviving original member despite every almost survivability-decreasing injury possible and a load of target-making boosts to go with it. Give or take his large number of missed games, Jetta has been the team's ball handler the whole way through. His incredible speed, passing ability and pure, suicidal guts in the face of huge opposition has been what's brought this team so much success.
Tony Armstrong - A player nearly sacked for an early niggling injury, Tony was too good to do without, eventually becoming one of the team's two legends along with Jetta. His hard hitting was responsible for clearing a lot of good opposition out of the way and transported this elf team into the middle layer of hitting power.
B.L.T. - Spectacular player who excelled at all aspects of the game, from harassing or assaulting the ball carrier to scooping up and then offloading loose balls, while also being a key offensive player either catching passes or clearing the way for others.
Danniel Hannebery - The team's original hitter, with an impressive 20 casualties in just 21 games.
Kieren Jack - 20 touchdowns in 43 games, and 8 casualties while he was at it. Touchstone Heart winner XLIV. Also a constant headache for the opponents on defence, until he was ground into the dirt in this rather demoralising game
Goodsie - A player of great skill, though it doesn't show in the stats, possibly because he was also known to aim for spectacular plays but choke at key moments. Epitomised by his death while holding the ball alone in the opposition half, having leapt over the line of scrimmage to catch the ball from our own kick off.
Big Bad Barry - Team's stabber for most of their history, Barry was a mix of useless and vital, many games doing very little but also making some of the most crucial plays, that no other could have done. The key thing is that he at his was best when he was needed the most.
Bam BamA long surviving lineman, Bam Bam eventually grew into outshining most of the team's blitzers.

Show matches | Show stats | Show Development | Show past players | Yearbook | Team Options | Refresh
Progression: Standard
#NamePositionMaStAgAvSkillsInjGCpTdItCsvpSpCostOp
8 JettaRunner9245Dump-Off, Accurate, Pass, +MA, Nerves Of Steel, +MA, Safe Throw-av, -av, -st, n, -av, n1081371401922680k (80+140k) 
12Harry MarshWitch Elf7447Frenzy, Dodge, Jump Up, +ST, Wrestle 173601023110k (110+70k) 
13 Tom MitchellBlitzer7448Block, Dodge, +ST, Tackle, Guard, Side Stepn48714013390100k (100+140k) 
14Toby NankervisBlitzer8348Block, Dodge, +MA, Guard, Side Step 206903669100k (100+100k) 
16George HewettBlitzer7348Block, Tackle 103000213100k (100+20k) 
17George HotlightningJourneyman Lineman6348Loner 100000070k (70+0k) 
18Ulric PalelightningJourneyman Lineman6348Loner 101000370k (70+0k) 
19Graham HardboneJourneyman Lineman6348Loner 100000070k (70+0k) 
20Kevin ClumsywingJourneyman Lineman6348Loner 100000070k (70+0k) 
21Yorick WhitespikeJourneyman Lineman6348Loner 100000070k (70+0k) 
22Ian VilebrookJourneyman Lineman6348Loner 100000070k (70+0k) 
5 players  
Coach:Irgy Re-Rolls (100k):4  
Race:Dark Elf Fan Factor:7  
Team Value:1700k Assistant Coaches:0  
Treasury:450000 Cheerleaders:0  
Tournament Weight:1700k Apothecary:Yes  

Games Played:118 (58/24/36) |TD Diff:66 (250 - 184) |Cas Diff:-112 (128/70/23 - 184/115/34)
Last Opponent: Wäŋa Warriors