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MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jul 10, 2019 - 07:44 Reply with quote Back to top

Allegations of Foul Play In The Southern Wastelands
There were angry scenes outside the Theatre of Breams today, as the Scoundrels collapsed to a 2-1 loss against some dead blokes with a suspiciously large pair of boots. Afterwards, Rising Star Pinkeye Growthspurt had this to say to his fans:

"It's an utter disgrace. The ref today must have been dug up last week, sending me off for gently tickling that zombie. When a player like me with my record can't do my job, it treats the game with contempt. Doesn't he know I've got a medal to win?"


Pressed on what he meant, the beloved Pinkeye, usually one of the happy-go-luckiest players in the entire league, set out what he called a conspiracy to deprive him of well-deserved glory. "Three seasons now, I've had to watch that aristocratic snob grinning away. Here I am, putting in the hard boots every week, and some limp-ankled, sneaky little git gets all the recognition."

A roving reporter from the Grotty Little Newsletter enquired if Pinkeye was upset about the loss to the Horrortahs, the plucky goblins defeated after what looked like an 16-in-81 chance of getting away with a late run from Mrs Legneck.

"Don't be stupid, sunshine" ranted Pinkeye. "We're here for the love of the game, right? We've won enough games already this season, I'm fine with letting somebody else get a few victories. What irks me is that toffee-nosed prig from the Warpstones, fouling away in the Premiership while honest goblins like me are slaving away in the Regionals without any respect. And you can tell he's complacent - you tell me an All-Star fouler should be putting in 11 fouls in 4 games? He's off the boil and cruising on autopilot, and this was meant to be my game to show you all how it's done."

Pinkeye descended into near-incomprehensible raving, before getting his breath back and issuing a challenge.

"If you've got any respect for the sport, Harry Thusa or whatever your name is, you'll accept my challenge for a foul-off at the end of the season. 16 ground blitzes each, and may the best goblin win!"

Pinkeye was dragged away from the fans to receive a stern talking to from the coach about whether or not "winning isn't everything, it's playing the game that's important". Complimentary shards of a rock that had been used to remove Ivan 'The Animal' Deathshroud from the game, was offered as compensation to those who had to put up with Mr Growthspurt's diatribe.

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ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Jul 31, 2019 - 12:47
FUMBBL Staff
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The SWL LXXVII Team Achievements

Regional:
Turns (1151): Malice Renegades!
Completions (11): Praag Riders & Cocoa Speed
TDs (10): Blackwater Cockfighters
Cas (18): Southern Horrortahs
SPP (137): Blackwater Cockfighters
Passing yards (41): Darkmore
Rushing yards (311: Blackwater Cockfighters
Blocks (339): Blood Crag Stripes
Fouls (32): Singed Poor Scoundrels
Blocks/Cas (12.6): Darkmore
Pass/Cp (5.7): Eternia Greyskulls
Kills (4): Blackwater Cockfighters

Conferences:
Turns (1166): Haunted All-Sorts
Completions (24): Yeast Lords
TDs (17): Lab Rat Elysium
Cas (28): Redgum's Rationalists
SPP (129): Lab Rat Elysium
Passing yards (82): Morning Breakfast Cereal
Rushing yards (288): Lab Rat Elysium
Blocks (350): Chrimean Chimera
Fouls (37): In De Nile
Blocks/Cas (12.0): Redgum's Rationalists
Pass/Cp (6.7): TingBuDong
Kills (4): Bravado & Immortalis Inquietus & Chrimean Chimera

Premier:
Turns (1171): Blue Mountain Giants
Completions (10): Wildwood Windlords
TDs (13): Waaaaghton Redskins
Cas (23): [adult swim]
SPP (110): [adult swim]
Passing yards (37): Wildwood Windlords
Rushing yards (218): Unicorn Gunfight
Blocks (353): Blue Mountain Giants
Fouls (25): Styx αnd Warpstones
Blocks/Cas (11.6): Styx αnd Warpstones
Pass/Cp (4.2): Loec's Loggers
Kills (6): [adult swim]


Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Kepra II (Southern Horrortahs) 18 spp


The SWL Season LXXVII Awards

Regional:
Image Image Stuart, the End Level Guy (Blackwater Cockfighters) 13 TDs
Image Image Scotty, the Minstrel (Blackwater Cockfighters) 10 cas
Image Image Taoldech Burningflaw (Malice Renegades!) & ImageDjemoazzuch Shadowmarked (Malice Renegades!) & ImageBraymzirrild Cindershadow (Malice Renegades!)113 turns
Image Image Stuart, the End Level Guy (Blackwater Cockfighters) 151 rushing yards
Image Image Sable Kane (Darkmore) 44 pass yards
Image Image Pinkeye Growthspurt (Singed Poor Scoundrels) 17 fouls
Image Image Savage Truth (Blood Crag Stripes) & Image Manshape Gutwart (Singed Poor Scoundrels) 61 blocks
Image Image Stistko (Praag Riders) & Image Sable Kane (Darkmore) 7 cps
Image Image Scotty, the Minstrel (Blackwater Cockfighters) 4.5 block/cas
Image Image Draven Jezzine (Eternia Greyskulls) 7 pass/cp

Image Image Stuart, the End Level Guy (Blackwater Cockfighters) 42 SPP


Conferences:
Image Image Artoria Donatiana (Immortalis Inquietus) 10 TDs
Image Image Khorharr Ironhand (Bronzed Raiders) 9 cas
Image Image Gráinne Ní Mháille (Port Royal Poachers) 114 turns
Image Image Artoria Donatiana (Immortalis Inquietus) 232 rushing yards
Image Image Jade (Morning Breakfast Cereal) 61 pass yards
Image Image Munnion (Didgeridead) 23 fouls
Image Image Dan Dan (Bravado) 86 blocks
Image Image Surveillance Doe (Yeast Lords) & Image Aníror (Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters) 11 cps

Image Image Fingaeron (Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters) 5.67 block/cas
Image Image Jade (Morning Breakfast Cereal) 6.1 pass/cp

Image Image Artoria Donatiana (Immortalis Inquietus) 30 SPP


Premier:
The Disco Dan Ball
Image Image Vance Maximus, Renegade Starsoldier ([adult swim]) 8 TDs

The Replacemnt Knuckles
Image Image Salamoneus (Styx αnd Warpstones) 8 cas

The Touchstone Heart
Image Image Happy Dancer (Waaaaghton Redskins) 115 turns

The Xies-ler-aym Slipper
Image Image Freezie Pop (Unicorn Gunfight) 159 rushing yards

The Manfred von Richthofen Arrow
Image Image Longbough (Wildwood Windlords) 36 pass yards

The John Stone Boot
Image Image Arethusa (Styx αnd Warpstones) 19 fouls

The Eth'el Shield
Image Image The Ur-Nugget (Unicorn Gunfight) & Image B.I.G (Waaaaghton Redskins) 77 blocks

The Emilio Luthien Boomerang
Image Image Longbough (Wildwood Windlords) & Image Erinyes (Styx αnd Warpstones) 8 cps

The Geoffrey Grimwade Fist
Image Image Greenbranch Sister-Stem (Loec's Loggers) 6.2 block/cas

The Duskwind Strongarm
Image Image Longbough (Wildwood Windlords) 4.5 pass/cp

The Duke Snakefield Medallion
Image Image Vance Maximus, Renegade Starsoldier ([adult swim]) & Image Impak (Waaaaghton Redskins) 26 SPP
DanteMordicain



Joined: Feb 20, 2019

Post   Posted: Aug 07, 2019 - 02:41 Reply with quote Back to top

A brief statement from Coach DanteMordicain

After a average first season, I have had a serious talk to the boys about how a draw is not a "moral victory" and they have seemingly understood that if there's not more wins, there will be less Dwarves.

With a couple of new rookies to replace the lazy Dawi that did sweet FA all last season, and a quick call to Jim's Mowing, the team looks to be a in a solid position moving into their second season.

At least, they better be.
tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Aug 07, 2019 - 06:07 Reply with quote Back to top

The T&P show, now on forums near you, donate to fumbbl!


P: The teams have been out raising funds, Terence, who's staying in the lineups for the big time in season 78?

T: Phillip, let's not get ahead of ourselves, who's even in the running for the premier division preview of the

Image Southern Wastes League: Season LXXVIII



T: As always, eight teams will line up for the title. In a shock announcement the winners of Season LXXVII, the "adult" Orcs, have said they intend to "pardy hardy" for the duration, and will not be attending.

P: Their coach is a notorious one and done type, that doesn't shock me at all, Terence.

T: Shush, Phillip, it's shocking, shocking!

Image Waaaaghton Redskins, ~1820. You know what else is shocking, the Waaaaghton Orcs legend, Impak, says he's feeling better than he has in a long time, and looks forward to collecting his stay-on bonuses. His long-standing team-mates have declared they will be needing a similar payout to stay on, but Happy Dancer and Borc may find another thing coming. They'll still be the biggest squad here, though.

P: Waaaaton were close last season, so many hits on the ball against the adult Orcs, just didn't come free. Who else stays up, there must be one more?

T: You know there is, Phillip, we discussed this earlier.

Image Pugs not Drugs, ~1690. These necromantic horrors are perennial premier players, famed superstar woof Chocolate is back in fighting form, but the late destruction of young Golem Candy Cane has left the last team old head Jawbreaker wanting to take up coaching. Good luck to the old ... monster.

P: It's the illusion of media, Terence, work with me. Who else is in for a skinning?

T: As of now, it's the quick and dead, Phillip. Wood Elf, Smambling Undead, Khemri Tomb Kings, Skaven, High Elf, and more High Elf.

P: Word is, Tererce, High Elfs Rule!

T: Uh, that I can agree with, glad we've finally put those Goblins to bed. High Elfs rule, with the right skill set, and some luck on the injury front.

Image Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters, ~1630. These fine elves have collected more than enough cash to carry them into prem, and superstar catcher Ruindolon is keen for a shot at the title. Can he carry the team on his own? Probably not, no, no leap you see.

Image Yeast Lords, ~1610. These, uh, yeasty elves are likewise rich with cash, star catcher Lord Daysius is still feeling those old injuries though, and he's up for taking a few hits along this bumpy road. No leap, how sad, too bad.

P: Terence, high elves don't need leap and luck to win, they made it to premier division SWL without it after all!

T: This is premier, they need leap. Just look at these dead teams!

Image Immortalis Inquietus, ~1670. They may have to trim the bench, and then some, it's a big squad and they've no more money than anyone. Key sacking playmaker Vibenia Pusinna is asking for danger pay given the sort of players he'll be asked to wrestle in this contest. There's some great young talent in the team, but they and the superstar Artoria Donatiana surely can't win enough games up here alone.

Image Didgeridead, ~1710. Flush with cash, but paying young legend-in-the-making Niabatteroo takes a toll when Doolabin and Windacool have decided they will not enter another contest togther! How rude is that! Both insist they are the best Guardian who will take the pitch. I expect the winner of that argument to not survive the season.

P: Terence, come on, not everyone's Guardians get trashed in premier, also that was a long time ago, and best forgotten about.

T: Mmm. The last here is the fast. Returning Wood Elf and Skaven, no one quicker, no one deader. Other than the dead teams above, of course.

Image Lab Rat Elysium, ~1740. It seems superstar gutter Bell-Kat Billy-Ho is asking for more cash. He'll get it for sure, that is a game-winning rat. How the rest of the team comes out of that demand will be a curious thing indeed, but it looks like a short bench has been called for. Bad luck, Bell-Kat, no hiding for you, enjoy your "bonus".

Image Bravado, ~1650. More woodies in prem, they seem to enjoy the short visits, and the odd title. Superstar dancer Dan Dan continues to earn well above his recognised pay grade, and the coach is happy to pay it. Quite how he'll fit a whole 11-elf team into the budget is anyone's guess, but someone's going home.

--

P: That's all we've got time for, if these squads all make it to the starting line, that'll be our Season LXXVIII premier division, the big Orcs, and their challengers.

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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Aug 14, 2019 - 07:20 Reply with quote Back to top

The T&P Show back on woo-tube, borrowed a mate's crystal ball.

P: Those predictions for premier were a bit off, the Orcs are almost the smallest after paying out for their three oldest players, even the stupid Troll!

T: Thanks Phillip. We do not make predictions. Other than agreeing that High Elves need leap. At least they all turned up!

P: They made prem without leap, Terence, there's not a High Elf team in the whole competition with a known leaper. Stop being silly. It's not all about leaping games, you don't see Wood Elves winning premier.

T: You'd have seen them winning Premier in Season LXXV and LXXVI if you'd been about the place! You might just see it this time too.

P: But onto the reggies preview!

Image Southern Wastes League: Season LXXVIII

--

T: There's ten teams in each, twenty in total, a huge turnout of young squads helping to boost the casualty and touchdown counts of last season's cherries dropped out of Confs, plus a few who didn't make the main divisions just yet.

Fáelan the Fleet Regional

Image Nuffle's Decaydence. Big for reggies at 1540, Kubler and Bubba the Bungalow are going to annoy a lot of teams on the way to winning this.
Image Blood Crag Stripes. Off to a bone-cracking start from 1520, Stone Silence making room for Fade Sorrow to run them in. Misses the Nurgs, safe as.
Image Kraka Drak Kneecappers. Solid team at 1470, intending to win a few this time around, should do too, hard for any team to stop a deathroller drive with a bit of guard about. May lack for bribes.
Image Dead Coast Decimators. Should be an easy start from 1350 hitting new teams, Expect Bree and Gal to make some big playes, then the bigger rocks above to finish will be a different story.
Image Sakh'Alin Tigers. Huge threat at the worst of times starting at 1250, these new elfs will grow to threaten premier in no time, if superstar in the making Priygat the Magnificent survives reggies OK.
Image Déjà Voodoo. Just 1180 for the new bones in town, it was a rough start, but they'll have the tools they need soon enough, Emeric Savoie and Baptiste Bonvillain showing great early promise.
Image Waters of Duat. New zons at 1180 are lucky to skip the big Dwarfs altogether, but they've taken on monsters in the trial already and are still here.
Image Leopold Leeches. New vamps had a rough encounter or two in the blooding as well, 1140 and carrying wounded already. They'll be looking to earn big somewhere for the rebuy.
Image SWL Pinch Hitters. Some sort of rag tag bunch out of nowhere, humans tend to like regionals, but 1090 is a low starting point.
Image Oakland Ratters. A season for building after trial losses, 1020 rats face the humans first, then into tougher opponents where a few hired star players may well show their worth.


Shntsyeooa Regional

Image We'reWho!. Massive reggies squad at 1550, should clean up if they survive the Chorfs second up, lovely pair of agile woofs in Fangface and Angua von Uberwald.
Image Redgum's Rationalists. Equally big at 1550, the massive pairing of Socrates and Aenesidemus will decimate teams down here, the just need the young marvel of Descartes to add some skills to his lightning speed.
Image Port Royal Poachers. This solid looking squad at 1480 includes the massive Gráinne Ní Mháille, gotta expect regular wins.
Image Gongoth Gargantuans Return. At just 1360, they have what it takes already to tear any team to bits, with a bit of luck, solid base to grow from.
Image Singed Poor Scoundrels. Big returning team for stunties, 1360, they won't get bribes against the youngest teams, but troll Manshape Gutwart and bomma Irene Shandyhands may not need the help to bully away a game or three.
Image More Food for Thawt. Smashed their trial games, at 1280 they've a hint of skilling on almost everyone, could grow fast if the stand up to every big bash team they meet this season.
Image Amateur Professionals. Sure things to win the lot with any luck, 1230 just getting started, could well dominate every game from start to finish.
Image Delmar Night Crawlers. A few promising players already in the new squad at 1200, Freddy’s Frozen Custard & Steakburgers in particular will be a menace to most teams.
Image Ekrund Warriors. New orcs looking to mirror the success of last season's champions in time, 1190, they have a way to go yet, good luck to them.
Image Slannish Inquisition. Young frogs looking to ask some questions of teams, at 1090 they won't be difficult questions just yet, but ... no one expects the Slannish Inquisition.

--

P: That was a terrible last joke, Terence. Terrible. I did not expect it of you.

T: Indeed.

P: This is the new squads, the growing squads, the future potential ruination of dreams, Season LXXVIII Regionals are kicking off and taking names.

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LictorZ



Joined: Sep 08, 2016

Post   Posted: Aug 14, 2019 - 08:35 Reply with quote Back to top

"Coach? Coach!?"

The assistant knocks vociferously at the door. The PA eventually scrambles to the door and shoves the assistant coach to the side.

"Thank you for coming, I think something has attacked Coach, he has been wailing for minutes!" she exacerbates the tension and panic by flicking through keys until she fumbles onto the right one.

The assistant coach almost tramples over the PA to barge the door open, the hinges creak but the door stays attached.

"COACH!"

They both stare at LictorZ, fetal position, sobbing into his knees in the corner of his office. By LictorZ's side the local paper, open at the sports section. An article written by Tussock appears prominent: Southern Wastes League - Season LXXVIII

The caterwauling subsides long enough for the Coach to make eye contact, a feeble attempt to form words fills the awkward silence "They have expectations of me now..."

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Arr, I don't know what I'm doin'
DanteMordicain



Joined: Feb 20, 2019

Post   Posted: Aug 16, 2019 - 04:59 Reply with quote Back to top

A Brief Statement from Coach Dante Mordicain

Shut up lads! I told you what would happen if there was another draw.....

Oh. Right. The after match call.
Well, we went into the match with a bit of spare cash so I rung me old mate boomer and invited him down for a bit of a toss. Lazy sod didnt really do much but he looked fierce down there.
I told that bloke on the mower to get that big thing with the tentacles off my pitch, and he did a solid job, shame the damn thing kept getting up really.
Grim made a solid run down the field to score our one touchdown, and as a result has been given extra training and learnt how to sidestep a keg properly!
Wee Harok took a cracking blow, I don't think his breastplate will ever fit right again. But thats what you get when the appo has to crack it to bring you back from the dead.

All in all, a pretty solid start to the season. A mirror of the last match of last season even down to the final score. Well done to LictorZ for fighting back from an abominable first half and bringing it to a tie.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to start working out where to punch lizards so it hurts....

At this point the call was left open, and the coach could be heard yelling for someone to fetch him a practise skink
tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Aug 16, 2019 - 10:29 Reply with quote Back to top

The T&P Show's crystal ball needed a trip to the enchanters, at our expense, after failing to transmit the conferences show. We're having to re-record, spiralling expenses may be gone but expensive mistakes persist.

P: There aren't even any High Elfs in conferences, Terence, why are we bothering?

T: Because these are the teams that'll take on this season's champion High Elves, whichever one of them takes leap first, hint hint, and also will be the challengers trying to hold off the young chargers from the reggies.

P: Future competition, fair enough, some of them will indeed be aiming to make premier, while others might be dreaming of relegation, but that could be unlikely if the rise in numbers this season leads to a conference expansion!

T: Bottom team always goes down, Phillip, just as the top team always goes up, let's see who that'll be in the confs preview!

Image Southern Wastes League: Season LXXVIII

--

T: Two conferences, sixteen teams vying for a shot at the premier title, or just to get an experience of the big time in the SWL, against the form teams, not to mention that premier bonus!

Tribute to Alan Parsons Conference

Image Blackwater Cockfighters team rating: 1680. Have to expect young Stuart, the End Level Guy, to help this team to a better record than their frenzied efforts have given them thus far. Old team, young players, could struggle against Guard, but hasn't so far this season.

Image Darkmore team rating: 1640. Great results first season have bought a big squad into confs, they have a plan, and that plan is passing to the blodge tackle blitzer swarm. It's worked so far, young Sceledrus Black helping present a threat.

Image Secret Wasteland Love team rating: 1590. Star Rhythm of Devotion leads the squad with Uncle Acid bringing the pain. The rest of the squad is pretty fresh, but they've a great record and were only just pipped for prem last time out.

Image ☠Refreshingly Dead☠ team rating: 1510. Lead abley by the superstar Marwolaeth, these abominations lack a little in ball handling skills, and with a big of tackle about they may not have the tools here to improve on a mid-table result. Still, they'll throw everything they have at everyone in their way.

Image In De Nile team rating: 1490. A couple seasons down, they've scraped in just enough wins to stay up in the confs, and have what it takes to do some tremendous damage. Can they use that to increase their scoring rate up to one a game? Maaaybe.

Image TingBuDong team rating: 1490. With players like Wang x Yangming about, plenty of solid guards to support, if they can find form, they could tear up any team and walk through the gaps. They'll be hoping to improve on their middling record over the years, and get a shot at those big, slow orcs that do love hiding up in premier. If Wang gets at any of the opposing key players, could be some easy wins.

Image Southern Horrortahs team rating: 1420. Just a slip of a young team up from reggies, but a solid starting record, just need a bit of tackle about the place to bring down any sneaky types, and a special player to keep them there. Not to mention a freak of a ghoul seems to come in very handy on these squads.

Image Skye Hoppers team rating: 1280. Paedophryne Amauensis (the 2nd) is the only older player on the squad, as their fund raising efforts struggled. Expect SliBli to lend a hand against the bigger teams here this season, he's always there for the massive underfrogs. I'm not sure any of these teams really suit the mass leaping approach, so much speed and hitting power about the place, it'll be a tribute to Alan Parsons, indeed: boing, boing, splat!


Public Service Announcement Conference

Image Secret Runners of Sydney team rating: 1620. These solid young skaven have screamed through the regions and dominated in the scoring department. There's some mean teams up here will look to take them apart off a thin bench, but they've been there before and won comfortably anyway. Have to expect to finally lose one somewhere up here, but you never know if they hold together, could well cut directly to prem.

Image Bronzed Raiders team rating: 1590. The tall hat men in this lot, including stars Korharr Ironhand and Gharzth Bronzehelm will make a mess of most teams, in short order. Can they use that to improve their results? Who knows, it's not been great so far, and there's a lot of old legs in the bunch that might not be around long even if they do make prem again.

Image Haunted All-Sorts team rating: 1570. All but made premier, these folk will be spoiling for a promotion. Star catcher Ruler has been sharing the load and the fame of late, might well be time to take command and sprint away with his glorious abilities, all the way to premier with his still-growing team behind him. Good luck avoiding the boot among this lot, young fella. Get there!

Image Blue Mountain Giants team rating: 1560. Dished out the pain in premier last season, but the results slipped them by, a bit of a fall for the Season LXXVI premier champions. Star Blitzers Flint Warmantle and Durin Grimmhammer remain the core of the team, and should do the business for them here. Expect a comfortable return to premier, and if they can build their young players in the shadow of the greats, more titles to come.

Image Chrimean Chimera team rating: 1530. Superstar Valen Varicella has carried for the team since the begining, not that's done them better than average along the way. There's some strong young talent in the team though, and an emerging killing instinct, along with some tentacly goodness, may well see their fortunes rise quickly. More than enough room for growth here, and the bench will help this season.

Image Malic Renegades team rating: 1530. A fresh team up from the regions, with a fair stack of casualties behind them. They've bought a long bench of fresh faces into a tough competition, and can expect to make use of them one way or another. They'll be hoping it's mostly the other.

Image Trondheim Hammers team rating: 1520. Young Bill saw them through reggies unbeaten, then the first game in confs brings them down to earth with a thunder crash. Will the rest of their season be Valhalla, or Hel? Climb that tree, boys, on and upward.

Image Styx αnd Warpstones team rating: 1480. Legendary Salemonius has been bringing the pain for seasons now, with Superstar Erinyeshelping out with the ball, but it wasn't enough for more than just barely off the bottom of premier. They're delighted, and will enjoy the opportunity to build a new team around them. PSA: This conf is not that much easier than prem!

--

P: Two tough conferences, by the look of it Terence, tremendous young upstarts, recent premier teams, amazing stars, even the Legend Salemonius!

T: Plus a few unfortunate squads for them to beat up along the way, Phillip, yes. But there's nothing between the teams in PSA conference, everyone one of them could make premier and hold themselves high for it, or at least not get last.

P: No free beer for them, then, Terence, Season LXXVII Conferences are well on, catch the action replays any time through your favourite ethereal services.

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LictorZ



Joined: Sep 08, 2016

Post   Posted: Aug 16, 2019 - 16:42 Reply with quote Back to top

LictorZ asks "Can I please have a summarised report about our Round 1 game?"
After some paperwork shuffle, some staff member hands over a single sheet of paper.

1st half - Wat's dafuqin' point?
2nd half - Howdafuq dat draw happn'?

LictorZ raises a single eyebrow "Can we please find a new role for the Orc intern?"

Assistant coach speaks up "We were completely outplayed in the first half. Their tackling technique was flawless, and we are raising questions as to whether or not that really was a lawn mower on the pitch...

Second half our players stood tall despite the daunting opposition. We were able to flank them and wall them off, and our rookie played his part well, kept his nerve long enough to make it hard for the Dwarves to walk over us again."

LictorZ takes a deep drink of his Bloodweiser. "Full credit to Dantemordicain. He does provide amazing games for the fans. But we are going to need a better game plan. Who do we have next?"

"Amazons"

"How many Tacklers have we??

"One..."

LictorZ looks into the shallow depth of his drink "The Orc was right, 'wat's dafuqin point?'"

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