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Balle2000



Joined: Sep 25, 2008

Post   Posted: Mar 28, 2018 - 21:54 Reply with quote Back to top

Disclaimer: Woo-tube, not to be mistaken for Cathayan service Wu-xoob.
tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Apr 23, 2018 - 05:40 Reply with quote Back to top

The T&P Show

Right, quick, with the new season around the midpoint, Terence, how are all the new teams going?

--

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Down in Redgum's Rhapsody, coach Faulcon is looking to put his Immortalis Inquietus in premier, it's the lower half of the division he's yet to face, but his 2/1/0 is not that flash yet compared to the top six, with Redgum's Rationalists, Dlock's Evil Moon Rising, HandyK's TingBuDong, Irgy's Ratty Old Elves, and Wex's Calithonian Cygnegeticus close behind.

Bojo's Chrimean Chimera are even going, with the rest, JamesFynmore's Belfast Black Rats, JoeKano's Skye Hoppers, and Daudy's Beyond the Sunset, all having a rough start, with the Norse in particular at 0/0/3 feeling the pinch. Big division, the scores already looking like there'll be a couple headed to premier from here!

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In Karnov's Emblamatic Conf, coach Manzoo leads the way with his Snarling Lunar Freaks! on a perfect start. The old dorfs just will not leave quietly, eh. tussock's Effluvient Dervishes and Foad's Blackwater Cockfighters chasing along behind, with D_Arquebus' Lab Rat Elysium running above average.

Samaranthae's South Shire Dirty Dwarfs are even going, with Grod's Veophiles, Fool's Yeast Lords, and Pdarbs' Elenium falling behind. In particular, the frogs are 0/0/4, with the worst record in the competition thus far. Tough division, mind you, no shortage of past premier champions or contenders here.

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Up to Ramchop's Chronicled Conf, Pyates' Waaaaghton Redskins and Jevouse's Cheasy Hadron Malaprops tied their round three to leave them tied for the run to premier on 2/1/0. Sandune's Wildwood Windlords will seek to catch them tonight with the last round three game a knife edge mirror match.

Tomay's adult swim and cdwat's Sentinels are running even, with BigBullies' Refreshingly Dead, ramchop's Bravado, and Boriz's Jötenheimr Yetis in the running for relegation. The Yetis another Norse team starting 0/0/3, struggling to find that punch even with the big boy on the pitch.

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Then Faulcon's Quingentennial Conf, that's 500 games, it's Smegish's Dean Park Rangers leading the charge to premier alone at the top on 3/1/0, with some solid team building going on too.

No one else is better than average, Bobs' Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters, almic's Cryptic Cryptids, mushoomy's Pugs Not Drugs, polemarch's Brew Pub Brouhaha, DrPoods' Ratstar Blazers, and Sharper's Green 'n Scabby all with little to set them apart for now. Just Tribalsinner's Rolling Rampage with a tough start, the Dwarfs finding themselves 0/0/3 and a likely trip to the Regionals to beat on the new teams.

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Lastly, Cdwat's Heroic Conf, Relezite storming off to a solid start with Unicorn Gunfight at 3/0/1. With Wozzaa's MekLab Geargrinderz and B2K's Goonbongburra Windjammers chasing close behind, could be a tight conference indeed.

GreySquirrel's Naggarond Raptors, Dunenzed's East Farkner Journeymens Club, and oozeboss's Croakland Raiders are all running even, with Karnov's Crude Oilers and JPM's Styx and Warpstones bringing up the rear. Tight at the lower end, everyone with a few points, no saying yet who'll be in a position to climb or fall from this conf.

--

A long way to go yet, from here most of the top teams could still end up down in Reggies. Who knows? Bob Borc knows, that's who. Good luck SWL, we're out of time, and money, like most of the teams will be when the end of season bills come due. Sharp financial skills will be needed here, saving beginning in earnest for a lot of these teams now, hopeful the players and hangers on don't get their hands into the kitty.

Who's richest? I hear it might just be the Khemri. I'm liking the look of them, Terence, bringing a fan club, brilliant!

--

No one likes Khemri teams, Phillip, foul things. Got nothing on those old Goblins, if you ask me.

_________________
ImageImage
Klazam



Joined: Aug 01, 2015

Post   Posted: May 23, 2018 - 01:02 Reply with quote Back to top

This is the journal of Rock, a halfing chef procurer, turned Blood Bowl player-agent.

15/5/2518 16:09

Heard about some mighty fine bacon-on-legs living in the Paintree Rainforest. These pigs are reputed to be exceedingly juicy. Putting together an expedition to lay claim to these gifts to porkkind.

18/5/2518 18:43

Have assembled an expeditionary force. Enlisted Zero and Gish as security against the wild predators inhabiting the Paintree Rainforest. Also put together the best squad of halfing procurers you can find anywhere in the Southern Wastes. 13 of them, along with me, naturally. We’re gonna grab these pigs and get out of the Paintree Rainforest, and get rich! We depart tomorrow.

20/5/2518 20:25

Initial expedition TOTAL success. The weather sucked, but we ventured in the Rainforest, and got on the trail of these pigs. Unusually wide and well-formed gametrail, but that only helped us. After a day in the deep jungle, we happened on a herd of fifteen pigs. These porcine creatures was the most fattest and plumpest pork I’ve ever personally seen. We gathered them together and put them on a line. Currently leading them out. Tomorrow we reach the edge of the Rainforest, and we become the most famous Chef Procurers in all the Southern Wastes.

20/5/2518 22:30

It’s quiet. Outside of the thunder and rain (thank Nuffle for Zero and Gish’s ponchos, we’re all huddled under them right now), there’s not even any animal noises. The pigs are snuffling happily though, they definitely know they’re gonna become the most delicious bits of pork, to the acclaim of all.

21/5/2518 10:30

We woke up and set out, after butchering one of the pork for the best breakfast sausages possible. Our bellies are full. I really wonder what the Master Chefs can make out of these pigs, if we could do these sausages.


21/5/2518 14:47

Luna’s gone. Maybe she wandered away? It’s storming really badly right now.

21/5/2518 19:32

We happened on a clearing earlier today. If I didnt know that nothing lived in these forests, I would swear it was a Blood Bowl pitch. The rain is really bad, the water is waist-deep and the mud is making it impossible to slog forward, so we had Zero and Gish lift us to the canopy of the trees to try and wait out the storm.

22/5/2518 11:15

The storm finally broke, with a pair of earthshattering thunderbolts. Under our trees, there was a tribe of warrior women. They were heavily armed, threatening to kill us over the pigs (turns out we stole their herd by mistake). But thankfully, I sweet-talked them in playing a Blood Bowl game against us with the pigs going to the winner. Turns out they really love the sport, and were tired of playing it only amongst themselves. The game begins 18:00 today. I believe between Gish and Zero, we can pull it off.

22/5/2518 20:30

They defeated us roundly. Lots of injuries, several asleep. We did manage to kill one of them though! But you know what? This is a great chance to get rich. I convinced the two leaders (Genevieve and Mai) that I was an actual Blood Bowl scout, and that we came to test them. I really think this team could be something, so we- both the Amazons and us- are gonna leave the forest, to try and get them qualified for the Southern Wastes League, the finest Blood Bowl league in these lands. I got Genevieve to sign a paper saying half their proceeds will go towards the Chef Procurer team known as the Slashing Bumpkins (which is what we call ourselves!) Clever, isn’t it? Oh, and the best part? They let us keep the pigs, because that’s what they think they’re paying us for our help with getting them to play Blood Bowl on the greater stage of the SWL. Their name is pretty apt, they’re the Cloud 11 Stormbreakers, named after the two thunderbolts that ended the storm when they found us.
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: May 24, 2018 - 10:25 Reply with quote Back to top

The SWL LXXI Team Achievements

Turns (1165): Unicorn Gunfight
Completions (26): Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters
TDs (17): Belfast Black Rats
Cas (23): South Shire Dirty Dwarves
SPP (120): Belfast Black Rats
Passing yards (56): Yeast Lords
Rushing yards (260): Wildwood Windlords
Blocks (370): Cryptic Cryptids
Fouls (27): Cryptic Cryptids
Blocks/Cas (13.4): Redgum's Rationalists
Pass/Cp (5.0): Ratty Old Elves & Unicorn Gunfight
Kills (4): Calithonian Cynegeticus, Wildwood Windlords, Veophiles & Cryptic Cryptids


Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Vorticist (Veophiles) 18 spp


The SWL Season LXXI Awards

Image Image Baron von Kitemonger (Unicorn Gunfight) 14 TDs
Image Image Vorticist (Veophiles) 9 cas
Image Image Beard o Zeus (Brew Pub Brouhaha) 116 turns
Image Image Baron von Kitemonger (Unicorn Gunfight) 198 rushing yards
Image Image Kai Bollinger (Bravado) 35 pass yards
Image Image Beithir & Image Adnoartina (Cryptic Cryptids) 8 fouls
Image Image Lothar Xemxesh (Goonbongburra Windjammers) & Image Prancle-Dance Fuffergump (Unicorn Gunfight) 73 blocks
Image Image Alagosson (Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters) 13 cps
Image Image XiJinPing (TingBuDong) 3.3 block/cas
Image Image Aphrael (Elenium) 5.2 pass/cp

Image Image Baron von Kitemonger (Unicorn Gunfight) 43 spp
Redgum



Joined: May 19, 2009

Post   Posted: May 28, 2018 - 12:02 Reply with quote Back to top

In the lead-up to the first All Star presentation evening under the new regime, a shocking leak has occurred and the representative 11 from each Conference has been made public by the gutter-snipes in the SWL media pool.
Thankfully the final 11 who have been selected to the All Stars remains embargoed, but we do know that the 11 will be selected from this list of 55 of the finest players in Season LXXI.

CDWat's Heroic:
Baron von Kitemonger (C), Ghoul, Unicorn Gunfight
Uglath Deadtask, Thrower, MekLab Geargrinderz
Corey Clearhawk, Catcher, East Farkner Journeymens Club
Lekhen Nightblaze, Runner, Naggarond Raptors
Plunk, Catcher, Kroakland Raiders (SWL)
Lothar Xemxesh, Blitzer, Goonbongburra Windjammers
Cerberus, Troll, Styx αnd Warpstones
Prancle-Dance Fuffergump, Mummy, Unicorn Gunfight
Phlegm Enabler, Hobbo, Crude Oilers
Grorzerl Deadrage, Blitzer, MekLab Geargrinderz
William Hardfield, Blitzer, East Farkner Journeymens Club

This is a pretty powerful roster. The Mummy/Troll front line looks strong, but there's a weak-spot with the hobgoblin on the LoS. Behind that though there's plenty of blitzing power and the basis of a good running game. Despite a couple of decent catchers in the line-up you would expect Deadtask to be a thrower in name only.

Faulcon's Quingentennial:
Beard o Zeus (C), Blitzer, Brew Pub Brouhaha
Kodai, Gutter Runner, Ratstar Blazers
Cotton Candy, Wolf, Pugs Not Drugs
Groggus Barrelbrewer, Runner, Rolling Rampage
Stev'o Yunge, Thrower, Dean Park Rangers
Korfatin Lavabelly, Slayer, Rolling Rampage
Yeatus Christ, Blitzer, Brew Pub Brouhaha
Patty Whillis, Blitzer, Dean Park Rangers
Beithir, Skink, Cryptic Cryptids
Toffee, Golem, Pugs Not Drugs
Beleth, Rotspawn, Green 'n Scabby

Another squad with a weak-point on the LoS. After the strength of Beleth and Toffee, that last position will either put at risk your skink or a positional. This team has speed to burn though, and a good selection of blitzing options. Like the Heroic squad, you would expect them to favour the running game, but that might just leave you open for a sneaky Yunge pass to Kodai.

Redgum's Rhapsody Conference:
Turbo Thomas Flynn (C), Gutter Runner, Belfast Black Rats
MaoZedong, Chaos Chosen, TingBuDong
Novia Elvorix, Ghoul, Immortalis Inquietus
Blazer, Pesti, Calithonian Cynegeticus
Rene Descartes, Renegade Elf, Redgum's Rationalists
Conraua Goliath, Kroxigor, Skye Hoppers!
Plato, Ogre, Redgum's Rationalists
Primus Canius Bellator, Mummy, Immortalis Inquietus
Lurcher, Rotter, Calithonian Cynegeticus
Sakari Spawnrot, Pesti, Chrimean Chimera
Dikarnos, Blitzer, Evil Moon Rising

This looks a decent squad on paper, but it would be tough to see them coming together to work as a team. Having a Kroxigor, and Ogre and a Mummy on the LoS would brutalise opponents, and Lurcher would be waiting to stomp anyone left groaning, but Descartes' animosity might trouble this team's passing game and with MaoZedong more interested in scoring than bashing they're a bit light on for blitzing options.

Ramchop Chronicled Conference:
Loeckin (C), War Dancer, Wildwood Windlords
Wychwethyl, War Dancer, Wildwood Windlords
Impak, Blitzer, Waaaaghton Redskins
Erland the Earthborn, Runner, Jötunheimr Yetis
Kai Bollinger, Thrower, Bravado
Haurr the Harsh, Ulfwerenar, Jötunheimr Yetis
La Muerte, Wight, ☠Refreshingly Dead☠
Dean Venture, Blitzer, [adult swim]
Hick's Bosun, Hobbo, Cheasy Hardon Malaprops
Durthu Darkbough, Tree, Wildwood Windlords
Marwolaeth, Wolf, ☠Refreshingly Dead☠

Now here's a squad to bring the crowds back. A pair of war dancers, and a thrower to take the passing option. Norse for the ground game. A variety of blitzing options including two different flavours of werewolf. A nasty little Hobgoblin to stick the boots in. There's no really obvious LoS options though, so you'll be hoping the tree can absorb a lot of hits and protect the positionals.

Karnov's Emblamatic Conference:
Chinwendu the Strong (C), Thrower, Effluvient Dervishes
"Anatomy" Animal, Gutter Runner, Lab Rat Elysium
Sparhawk, Catcher, Elenium
Mike, the Rogue, Runner, Blackwater Cockfighters
Aphrael, Catcher, Elenium
Vorticist, Kroxigor, Veophiles
Omid the Cruel, Blitzer, Effluvient Dervishes
Vespertilian, Saurus, Veophiles
DDDamage, Hobbo, South Shire Dirty Dwarves
Fatsani the Magnificent, Tomb Guardian, Effluvient Dervishes
Beardripper, Ghoul, Snarling Lunar Freaks!

Here's another strong roster. A good LoS consisting of a big lizard, an even bigger lizard, and a Tomb Guardian gives a good line of protection to the ball users behind. Omid's carrying a big responsibility for the blitzing option, and it's a bit hard to imagine Chinwendu actually putting the ball in the air, but if he did there's some good catching options downfield. They also have a few ball carrying options available, including the curiously named Bear Dripper. I guess he drips bears, or something.
What?
Ripper?
Beard Ripper?
Really?
It says right here... bear dripper. Oh. I see it now. Beard Ripper. That makes more sense.

So, imagine these squads each take the field in a tourney... which conference wins?

_________________
Tomay wrote:
Thanks Redgum, you are a legend...
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: May 29, 2018 - 09:35 Reply with quote Back to top

Bravado Here to Stay
Maulbourne Gazette

by Trixi Strockjap

Bravado have been quite hard to get hold of over the past few weeks. They burst onto the SWL scene full of chest-beating confidence but have been completely silent in the media since early in the season. I finally tracked down captain Kai Bollinger relaxing in the sauna of the Grande Maulbourne Deluxe.

Trixi: After a disappointing season, do you have any regrets on the way you entered the toughest Blood Bowl competition in the South?

Kai: Disappointing? Not at all, we're extremely happy with our great success this year

Trixi: Success?

Kai: Of course! We've raked in the profits on this venture. We knew the clubs over here were struggling after being duped by the Bitcoin scam, but we never dreamed how desperate they'd be. The scouting programme was a huge success, and we invested in 4 opposition stadia. There is simply no better way to view the operations of a ground than being on it.

Trixi: Are you genuinely suggesting you entered SWL as a real estate venture?

Kai: Absolutely. Flicked two on almost immediately for a great profit. The foolish owners of one didn't know what they were sitting on - just scratch the surface of the pitch and beneath it you find a rich vein of finest Plastique™, worth millions. West Islanders really are simpletons. We're keeping the third, need a home base. We may even let the struggling former owners rent it occasionally - they won't get to use the luxurious newly fitted out WWEBBA clubrooms though.

Trixi: And the fourth?

Kai: Well that one is a bit personal. Have you ever smelt an Orc? The stench is quite simply indescribable. Everyone goes on about Necro, but we're a people of the forest, death is an inevitability and we're familiar with a smell of a rotting carcass. But Orcs! So foul! After being chased around by these disgusting brutes we were forced to endure the most unpleasant 3 hour journey back to the resort covered in their noxious sweaty ooze. Not a single shower at the Orc ground.

Trixi: So you'll be redeveloping it into a better facility?

Kai: Hell no! The boys will enjoy watching its demolition, call it a team building moral booster. We've offloaded it to the local council at a small loss, they'll be using it as the municipal rubbish tip.

Trixi: And back to the season, on the field how do you rate how things went?

Kai: Well obviously there were ups and downs. Biggest lesson learned was to not bring surveying equipment onto the field - poor Jetta was beaten over the head with it. We considered a tactical drop to Reggies. If the teams we encountered in Confs are this financially desperate, surely the ones a layer down would be even more dire - ripe for the picking. But no, I guess our pride got in the way. We'll never stoop that low. Watch for us in Prem come Season 73!
Redgum



Joined: May 19, 2009

Post   Posted: Jun 07, 2018 - 15:13 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to the SWL All Star presentation evening for Season 71.

It’s our pleasure to invite you all here to celebrate a new beginning. SWL has begun a new season and a new era, and tonight we inaugurate the first All Star team selected from an incredible line-up of new players and new teams.
As ever, all SWL players are eligible for consideration in this team. Uniquely, the league was structured without Regionals or a Premier League, but we’ve assembled 11 players with representatives from all five conferences.
It gives us great pleasure to announce those honoured for their efforts and performances during SWL LXXI:

Baron Von Kitemonger (C) Ghoul, Unicorn Gunfight
MaoZedong Chaos Chosen, TingBuDong
Chinwendu the Strong, Anointed ‘Thrower’, Effluvient Dervishes
Turbo Thomas Flynn Gutter Runner, Belfast Black Rats
Loeckin Wardancer, Wildwood Windlords
Kai Bollinger Thrower, Bravado
Beard O Zeus, Blitzer, Brew Pub Brouhaha
Beithir, Skink, Cryptic Cryptids
Vorticist, Kroxigor, Veophiles
Plato, Ogre, Redgum’s Rationalists
Cerberus, Troll, Styx and Warpstones

The first player to be named an All Star in this new era is doubly honoured tonight as the LXXI All Stars captain. Baron von Kitemonger certainly made an impression this season. His first couple of games were good, but held only a hint of what was to come. Once he found his feet in the league and realised how dangerous he could be as a scoring threat, he took his game to the next level. He scored hat-tricks against both Styx & Warpstones and Kroakland Raiders, but he saved his best performance for the Crude Oilers. His 4TDs made him a match-winner and carried his team to victory, and to Premier League qualification. He finished the season with a remarkable 14 TDs from a shade under 200 rushing yards. Astounding numbers for a player whose career spans only seven games.

MaoZedong is one of the Chosen representing TingBuDong in this new league, and from the start he chose a different path from so many of the Chosen who played alongside him and who have preceded him in this game. He is as strong and as well-armoured as any warrior of chaos, but within that steel carapace beats the heart of a ball carrier. While his brethren were practising their blocking and mighty blows at training, he was gathering balls from the turf, ensuring that he wouldn’t fumble the pickup, that the ball couldn’t be stripped from his hands. In games he would put this skill to good use, rumbling up the pitch and defying his opponents to stop him from scoring. Seven times in seven games he crossed the line to score, including doubles against the Belfast Black Rats and the Ratty Old Elves. When he didn’t score, he put his other skill-set to good use causing 2 CAS against his opposition.

Chinwendu the Strong was given the name before he started playing the game, but he soon proved it prophetic. Indeed, Chinwendu was strong enough to lead his team to an undefeated first season and to Premier League qualification. He too scored 7TDs from his seven games, quickly establishing himself as a crowd favourite and drawing huge crowds to Dervishes games. He scored doubles against both Elenium and the Blackwater Cockfighters, and ran for over 160 yards. A genuine star in the making.

Turbo Thomas Flynn brings lightning speed and uncanny agility to the All Stars. His opening season yielded 8TDs from 126 rushing yards, and when he wasn’t scoring he was happy to turn provider, racking up 4 completions for 12 passing yards. Perhaps most remarkable for his consistency, Flynn’s star quality grew with every game he played. He scored three doubles, including in the last two games of the season against Chrimean Chimera and Calithonian Cynegeticus. Perhaps his best moment though was his completion and double in a game-turning performance against Redgum’s Rationalists in which he ran for 38 yards (more than ¼ his season total) and threw for 6 (1/2 his season total) to secure a narrow 3-2 victory. I guess the lesson here is that he loves to dominate teams with alliterative names. Which brings us to the Wildwood Windlords.

The star that burns twice as bright, burns half as long, and so it was for Loeckin, who burst onto the scene with a brilliant first season, only to be forced into an early retirement by a niggling injury. The Wardancer played seven games in his career, but he achieved enough in that one season to leave the game as an All Star. His hat-trick against the SWL Sentinels was enough to ensure a 3-3 draw, and announced his arrival as a player. His 2 CAS against the Refreshingly Dead necros proved that he was as tough as he was skilful. In the 4-2 win against the Cheasy Hardon Malaprops he put together a nearly complete game, achieving a TD, a CAS and a completion from only 10 turns on the pitch. It was to be effectively his final game, with the cruel injury blow and a tight team budget forcing Sandune to make the difficult decision to retire his young star. He had a wonderfully wild, frenzied, acrobatic style, and hopefully others will follow his example.

With Flynn and Loeckin downfield waiting to receive the pass, there is no one better to deliver it to them than Kai Bollinger. For some players, it might be a difficult weight to bear, carrying two such illustrious names in SWL history, but for Bollinger it is an inspiration, and like his name-sakes he has achieved All Star status. He was a reliable thrower all season, accumulating 8 completions for 35 passing yards (an average of over 4 yards per pass and 5 per game). He is the inaugural captain of Bravado, and a natural leader on the field, and as much as he is a ball player he showed his hard edge with a CAS against the Windlords. He has a long way to go before he has a trophy cabinet to match either Borgan or Kobra, each of whom had multiple All Star and Representative selections, but he’s off to a great start.

Beard O Zeus is an incredible all-rounder on the field. She started her career looking like she was going to be a scorer, and quite a prolific one at that. 5 TDs in the first half of the season seemed to establish her in the team and had already put her on the All Star selection committee’s radar, but even then there are few who could have predicted her performance against the Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters. She left the scoring to her team-mate Barbapapa that day, and instead turned her attention to the systematic destruction of her Elven opponents. She caused 5 CAS that day, of the 7 which she would cause in the season, including horrific injuries, even a fatality. And the crowds loved it. A hard-hitting blitzer for the modern game, a fierce competitor, a season LXXII Premier player, and a deserving All Star.

Beithir comes into the All Stars in a curious, perhaps a unique fashion. His career began as a sneaky little stomper, scuttling and scurrying around beneath the feet of larger lizards and stamping his skinky little feet on fallen opponents. He fouled 8 times in his first season, from only 6 games. And yet this is not what makes him unique. Often players of this ilk find their niche and carve a career within it. Think of any number of players whose fouling exploits saw them sacrifice individual stardom for the team good, the appreciation of their devious coaches and the admiration of bloodthirsty fans. This was not the path for Beithir. Instead the little skink worked to become more than he was. He scored against Rolling Rampage, and having gotten the taste for glory he scored twice against Ratstar Blazers. He developed his agility and his ability to carry the ball and evade his opponents. And so, his days of fouling indiscriminately may be behind him, but we remember them fondly tonight, and we hope to see him back on the All Star stage in future.

And so we come to the terrifying foundation of this mighty All Star team. In the past, it has been rare for the Big Guys to make it into this esteemed eleven. Sure, you would see a smattering in the representative squads, but to elevate oneself to true All Star status seemed a task for which many of the most massive players seemed too wild, too boneheaded, or too stupid to reliably achieve. But tonight, we induct not one big guy, not even two of them, but three!

It was a tough season for the Veophiles. A 2-0-5 record wasn’t enough to convince the lizards to continue and so the team disbanded and Grod went off to coach some dwarves. But the one bright light in it all was Vorticist. The Kroxigor had an unusually good sense of the blocking game, and was able to help those around him. In 7 games he threw over 60 blocks and from these his mighty blows caused 9 CAS. His best performance was against the Snarling Lunar Freaks, who would go on to win the conference, but they won’t forget the 3 CAS Vorticist caused against them.

Next to the big lizard on the All Star line is Plato. The ogre had a great first season with the Rationalists, causing 7 CAS from only 44 blocks (at an average of 1 CAS per game, or approximately every 6 blocks). His 2 CAS game against Immortalis Inquietus was good enough to earn him the MVP that day, but even better (though unrewarded by the MVP judges) was his 3 CAS performance in his team’s 2-2 draw with the Ratty Old Elves.

And the final All Star named in the LXXI team is Cerberus. His namesake is the guardian of the underworld, and this troll was the guardian of the underworld denizens. He is truly a freak of nature, and a terrifying prospect for any opponent to face. Aside from the strength and regeneration common to his kind, his affinity for the dark mutatative forces of warpstone have transformed his flesh in horrific ways. Tentacles come unfurling from his body to wrap the unsuspecting victim and keep them close. Long, curved, claws have grown from his hands and arms, sharp enough to slice through leather, steel and flesh. He caused 6 CAS from 49 blocks in his first 7 games, and the way he’s going, he’ll cause a great many more before his career comes to an end.

And so we present to you all, the All Stars of Season LXXI.

We’d also like to offer our hearty congratulations to the players selected in their divisional Representative squads, listed here: https://fumbbl.com/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=viewtopic&p=724088#724088

Which brings us to the end of a very special awards ceremony. The new season is already underway, and already some of tonight’s All Stars have begun their quest for another selection in LXXII. We hope you have enjoyed the announcement of these teams and we look forward to seeing you all again at end of season and until then... may the riots be many, may your rocks fly true, and may many a star be surfed into the crowd![/url]

_________________
Tomay wrote:
Thanks Redgum, you are a legend...
Karnov



Joined: Jul 14, 2012

Post   Posted: Jun 09, 2018 - 11:12 Reply with quote Back to top

*Press Release*

Block’s ‘n Rock’s magazine (#1) in conjunction with the Southern Wastes Professional Blood Bowl League is pleased to announce the creation of three new awards to be presented at the conclusion of SWL season 72:

- Grapple Inc.’s “Touchdown of the Year”
- Underworld Armour’s “Casualty of the Year”
- DOA Sports “Steel Balls” (Ballsiest play of the year)

To nominate your favourite TD/CAS/BALLSY play grab a copy of Block’s ‘n Rock’s #1 or send a pm thru to editor-at-large Karnov, Sub Editor Ramchop or let the league know in Discord or via a forum post. At season’s end, an esteemed panel of Blood Bowl luminaries will review the nominations and select the season’s greatest plays!

Block’s ‘n Rock’s #1 available now at all SWL fake news outlets! *Cabalvision online subscription also available.

_________________
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