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Joined: Feb 21, 2007

Post   Posted: Jun 13, 2024 - 14:25 Reply with quote Back to top

C1: Hi, I'm half of Bicentennial Man.

C2: And I'm the other half.

C1: Making each of us one Centennial Man.

C2: Here to celebrate 100 seasona of SWL.

C1: It's a league that just keeps on going and going, a bit like our movie.

C2: And in honor of carrying on for a long time, the "turning up" award is back. In regionals it goes to a tree. They might not do much but they also sure as heck aren't going anywhere.

C1: I hear they live for even longer than we did.

C2: Only because we chose to become human.

C1: And on the topic of extended lifetimes, a good showing from vampires across three separate teams

C2: Robots want to be mortal humans, humans want to be immortal vampires, I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

C1: If you're a tree you'll never cross that fence though.

C2: Until one day, you become the fence.

C1: Just before we move on a special mention to Caleb Nyota who's the first player in a while to take the bronze (or any colour) arm with more than one actual completion, a consistent effort of throwing the ball in the right direction.

Image Image Mckenna Elsa (Southern Spoons) & Image Meassiles (Snotballers) 7 touchdowns
Image Image Cernon Wendell (Brunswick Munchers) 11 casualties
Image Image Totara (Southern Spoons) 113 turns
Image Image Legneck Can't-Stop-Won't-Stop-Bouncing (Lobrot Asylum) 156 rushing yards
Image Image Penelope Gortin (Southern Spoons) & Image Fraderk Aswang (Brunswick Munchers) 28 passing yards
Image Image Blitzophrenia (Snotballers) 22 fouls
Image Image Kraxak (Phin Lizzies) 76 blocks
Image Image Katniss (Anything but Twilight) 11 completions
Image Image Cernon Wendell (Brunswick Munchers) 11/62 cas / block
Image Image Caleb Nyota (Hostile Kiddies) 17/3 pass / cp
Image Image Upatisya Upeksa (Custodes Centenarius) 30 SPP

C1: Bzaarharr demonstrates to everyone what happens if you leave a bull centaur on the pitch the whole time.

C2: Conference finds itself with the lowest casualties but the most fouls, a rough place to be on the ground.

Image Image Bzaa'rharr (Bronzed Raiders) 10 touchdowns
Image Image Interesteyr (Weapons of Maths Destruction) 7 casualties
Image Image Bzaa'rharr (Bronzed Raiders) & Image Nathaniel Dokoran (Bloodwolf Bandits) 112 turns
Image Image Bzaa'rharr (Bronzed Raiders) 181 rushing yards
Image Image Rarra (UnderRatted) 23 passing yards
Image Image Pamela Puckerupp (Dino STOMP) 29 fouls
Image Image Dolores Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 65 blocks
Image Image Rarra (UnderRatted) 9 completions
Image Image Interesteyr (Weapons of Maths Destruction) 7/41 cas / block
Image Image Liandrin Lenestar (Blackwater Picaroons) 10/1 pass / cp
Image Image Bzaa'rharr (Bronzed Raiders) 30 SPP

C1: The champions really showing everyone how it's done, with both werewolves covering the two key aspects of play, and even their ghoul making a showing on the passing front.

C2: But the real stand out is Cerulean blue, making a statistically impossible 2 casualties from literally 0 blocks. How did this even happen?

C1: It was thanks to a prayer the Nuffle, the casualties were actually from fouls, but they still count. Maybe they shouldn't but no better time to celebrate breaking my spreadsheet.

Image Image Kate, Return of the Klaw (Turbo Wolves) 8 touchdowns
Image Image Desmond 'The Beast' Wulf (Turbo Wolves) 13 casualties
Image Image Desmond 'The Beast' Wulf (Turbo Wolves) & Image Pregnant Applause (Malapropisms Relieved) & Image Wormser 7 (SWL Dorruks) 111 turns
Image Image Ghoragdush Treebone (SWL Dorruks) 160 rushing yards
Image Image Charlotte Rose (Turbo Wolves) 6 passing yards
Image Image Shadow Clown (Malapropisms Relieved) & Image Dean Ulich 4 (SWL Dorruks) 20 fouls
Image Image Sandman (Minutes or Centuries) 73 blocks
Image Image Crypt Rat (Believe in Swarming) 2 completions
Image Image Cerulean blue (Pitch Painters) 2/0 cas / block
Image Image Charlotte Rose (Turbo Wolves) 6/1 pass / cp
Image Image Desmond 'The Beast' Wulf (Turbo Wolves) 33 SPP

C1: Well that's a wrap. Centennial man and Centennial man signing out. We'll get back together and maybe see you in another 100 seasons when we can fall in love with your grandchildren.

Joined: Feb 21, 2007

Post   Posted: Mar 19, 2024 - 09:57 Reply with quote Back to top

Alpha: Hey everybody! It's time to party like it's season 99!
Beta: You know that song was about an upcoming apocalypse not a cool NYE party right?
Alpha: Well let's see how season 100 goes before deciding which one's right!
Beta: Regionals this season we have casualties tied with touchdowns, and fouls tied with passing yards in the numbers.

Image Image Todd Charnel (Crypt-Buried Raiders) 8 touchdowns
Image Image Grace Gwathard (Let Slip the Dogs of War) 8 casualties
Image Image Todd Charnel (Crypt-Buried Raiders) 159 rushing yards
Image Image Rarra (UnderRatted) 34 passing yards
Image Image Shamob Ogresnake (Seppotonian Blorcs) 34 fouls
Image Image Aliyah Celise (Let Slip the Dogs of War) 63 blocks
Image Image Rarra (UnderRatted) 5 completions
Image Image Dumag Elfstream (Da Smash Mashas) 28/6 block / cas
Image Image KlickKlick (UnderRatted) 6/1 pass / cp
Image Image Todd Charnel (Crypt-Buried Raiders) 32 SPP

Alpha: Conference lives up to the hype and outdoes regionals on every metric except fouling.
Beta: Yes a below par performance from Gracefield all told, 8 less than last season, but still enough to carry the category.
Alpha: Omega (love the name but damned if I'm shouting it) is the bull with the balls, taking TDs, rushing, and SPP.
Beta: But clearly only the air filled variety, just one casualty from a St4 player.
Alpha: Ulithi Bardar manages to tie on completions with just 2 passing yards all season. Are we sure he knows which way his team is even running?
Beta: Makes you wonder how many of those were even on the play.
Alpha: Silver shield to a tree, a good effort to make a lot of blocks without taking root and getting lonely.
Beta: A small rooted tree that one for sure.

Image Image OMEGA (Minutes or Centuries) 12 touchdowns
Image Image Desmond 'The Beast' Wulf (Turbo Wolves) 13 casualties
Image Image OMEGA (Minutes or Centuries) 215 rushing yards
Image Image Hawker Typhoon (Isilmë Bombers) 46 passing yards
Image Image Gracefield (GG Luckers) 29 fouls
Image Image Shadowleaf (Munchausen Moonrakers) 80 blocks
Image Image Ulithi Bardar (Loco Turkeys) & Image Hawker Typhoon (Isilmë Bombers) 8 completions
Image Image Ushamph Treeseer (SWL Dorruks) 6/3 block / cas
Image Image Caitlin Wood (Kiwi Mountain Kings) 8/1 pass / cp
Image Image OMEGA (Minutes or Centuries) 42 SPP

Alpha: And finally Premier, where nothing was unexpected.
Beta: Yes, the elves take all the passing and touchdown categories.
Alpha: A chaos beastman takes both cas categories.
Beta: And an underworld snotling takes the fouls.
Alpha: The superghoul endlessly runs the ball down the field to no real avail.
Beta: And we're just left with the golden shield, which could go to anyone, but this time went to a hard working jaguar warrior blocker.

Image Image Carlos Spencer (Amateur Professionals) 13 touchdowns
Image Image Brantley Blacksoul (Questionable Ethics) 8 casualties
Image Image Ball Bagger (Nana's Undies) 147 rushing yards
Image Image Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 83 passing yards
Image Image Many Pinata (Believe in Swarming) 36 fouls
Image Image Dolores Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 72 blocks
Image Image Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 11 completions
Image Image Brantley Blacksoul (Questionable Ethics) 55/8 block / cas
Image Image Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 83/11 pass / cp
Image Image Carlos Spencer (Amateur Professionals) 45 SPP

Joined: Feb 21, 2007

Post   Posted: Jan 29, 2024 - 13:37 Reply with quote Back to top

Season XCVIII Twanhlows, brought to you by Mr Getitdone. Tell me Mr Getitdone, how do you get so many things actually done?

"Well, the trick is, to just get on with it."

Well, let's do that then. Though I do want to make one note about our 8 passing yards from 0 completions record. I looked into it, it was an inaccurate pass, scattered N, SW, E, caught by the intended recipient. Passing yards credited, completion not credited. A bug or a feature? You decide. I figure it's just the sort of noteworthy outlier these awards are for. Also 8/1 would still have won the category in any case.

Image Image Magenta (Horror of Horrorz) 11 touchdowns
Image Image Stella Greenblade (Ahuriri Unearthly) 11 casualties
Image Image Andrj Carnegie (Stoutheart Philanthropists) 153 rushing yards
Image Image Hawker Typhoon (Isilmë Bombers) 36 passing yards
Image Image Urim Mummyshield (Seppotonian Blorcs) 27 fouls
Image Image Tunuckal (UnderRatted) & Image Murag Trollbasher (Seppotonian Blorcs) 66 blocks
Image Image Hawker Typhoon (Isilmë Bombers) 13 completions
Image Image Stella Greenblade (Ahuriri Unearthly) 11/59 (=5.36) block / cas
Image Image Rarra (UnderRatted) 15/3 (=5) pass / cp
Image Image Magenta (Horror of Horrorz) 41 SPP

Image Image Carlos Spencer (Amateur Professionals) 12 touchdowns
Image Image Estoctagonal (Weapons of Maths Destruction) 10 casualties
Image Image Mutgusk (Bronzed Raiders) 137 rushing yards
Image Image Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 133 passing yards
Image Image Aniyah Miller (Run of the Millers) 22 fouls
Image Image Nezumi Shortfang (Believe in Swarming) 66 blocks
Image Image Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 19 completions
Image Image Ulric Palehawk (Killer Heelz) 2/2 (=1) block / cas
Image Image Alakas Snaketongue (Perfectionists Of Excess) 8/0 (=∞) pass / cp
Image Image Carlos Spencer (Amateur Professionals) 36 SPP

Image Image OMEGA (Minutes or Centuries) 6 touchdowns
Image Image The Cleaner (Nana's Undies) 8 casualties
Image Image Ball Bagger (Nana's Undies) 136 rushing yards
Image Image 4-Ecks Gold (Billabong Blue Bloods) 8 passing yards
Image Image Gracefield (GG Luckers) 37 fouls
Image Image Sandman (Minutes or Centuries) 76 blocks
Image Image Beyonce (Suspicious A-Listers) 3 completions
Image Image Paleo (Minutes or Centuries) 5/26 (=5.2) block / cas
Image Image 4-Ecks Gold (Billabong Blue Bloods) 8/1 (=8 ) pass / cp
Image Image The Cleaner (Nana's Undies) 24 SPP

Joined: Apr 23, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 05, 2023 - 04:33 Reply with quote Back to top

[img width="150"]https://fumbbl.com/i/721683[/img]
Moonrakers Get first Win of Season

After a disappointing start to the season, the Moonrakers were able to scrape a 1-0 victory.

Pouring rain meant the ball was as slippery as Old Gurtrudes Jellied Eels, and both teams struggled with ball handling. The rain also seemed to effect the rough stuff, with neither side causing any permanent damage on the other.

The moment of the game was caused by a handling error by the Khorne receiver allowing a swarm of Halflings to surround the ball. This led to a scramble which ended up in the arms of a Halfling in the end zone.

Puggy Baconbreath made an appearance for the Moonrakers for the first time much to the delight of the drenched fling fans.

The expected casualties didn't come for the Halflings, which meant they were able to swarm on the ball like a pack of pot-bellied flies around a turd to close the game out.


Joined: Oct 02, 2015

Post   Posted: Apr 08, 2023 - 04:32 Reply with quote Back to top

200th Game for Styx and Warpstones

Styx & Warpstones https://fumbbl.com/p/team?team_id=1050146

On the 6th September, 2016 a young rookie team took the field, led by a rat called Volos. 2405 days later, with Volos long retired, the third iteration of the franchise takes the field for the 200th time. Entering in SWL’s Season 66 where Dlock’s Wood Elves held off the Slumbering Skinks, Wäŋa Warriors and SWL Fun Police for Premiership Glory, the Underworld made a modest start finishing 5th in their opening regional campaign. The CRP era was hard, never finishing higher than 6th in Conferences, but undeterred the UW persistent. After the departure of the Southern Warpstone Scavengers coached by Almic85 in Season 69, Styx and Warpstones were the sole flag bearers for 20 seasons until joined by Haru Haru’s Zealots of Change in the BB20 era in Season 89. While the near miss of the Premiership title in Season 85 was a tough one to take at the time, the success in Prem in Season 91 has certainly been the teams crowning glory. I looked at “the Challenge” set by Almic in his Underworld team’s bio the other day, a list of goals that seemed unobtainable back in the CRP days. While the team’s players and composition has changed over the three different editions, and looks so different to the days of CRP, the team has never failed to be one of the most fun and entertaining teams to play week in, week out. Happy 200th Boys!

Highlights of 200 games in SWL:

• First Season – Season 66
• First Underworld Legend in SWL – Volos
• First Underworld Team into SWL Premier Division – Season 77
• First Underworld Conference Title in SWL – Season 84
• First Underworld Premier Title in SWL – Season 91
• Premiership Appearances – Six (qualified for Prem eight times)
• Titles – Premiership – 1; Conferences – 2
• Most SPP Per Position in SWL – Thrower (Hermes - 126), Troll (Cerberus - 71), Gutter Runner (Aeneas - 200), Blitzer (Salamoneus - 291)
• 10 SWL All Star Players
• Most All Star Scrolls: Salamoneus – 8
• Team Legends: Volos, Salamoneus, Aeneas, Cronus, Atlas and Thanatos.

Overall: 28 Seasons, Played: 199 Won: 73 Drew: 49 Lost: 77 (48.99 Win %)

Joined: Feb 21, 2007

Post   Posted: Apr 05, 2023 - 14:37 Reply with quote Back to top

D: Hi, this is Dolly the sheep

D: And this is Dolly the sheep

D: But I'm the famous one

D: I'm the original!

D: Exactly, you were just an ordinary sheep until I came along. And you still are really.

D: Well then so are you.

D: No, I may be exactly the same, but I'm special.

D: Yeah you're special alright. Let's just get one with this. It's time for the regional awards.

Image Image Rosses (Stolen Golem) 9 touchdowns
Image Image Brantley Blacksoul (Questionable Ethics) 6 casualties
Image Image Rosses (Stolen Golem) 196 rushing yards
Image Image Flinch (Theo packrats) 35 passing yards
Image Image Bahiti (Ophidian Infidels) 15 fouls
Image Image Tuckerbag Jumbuck (Billabong Blue Bloods) 82 blocks
Image Image Avro Lancaster (Isilmë Bombers) 10 completions
Image Image Mo Treem (Billabong Blue Bloods) 7/2 block / cas
Image Image Consolidated Liberator (Isilmë Bombers) 10/1 pass / cp
Image Image Rosses (Stolen Golem) 31 SPP

D: Only one regional this season, making it something of a soft option like Prem, but without the prestige.

D: Kind of like you then.

D: Rosses from Stolen Golem takes out the bronze cross, mostly via the "touchdowns" strategy, but it must be said wouldn't have been the clear leader without the 2 cas to balance it out.

D: The one trick pony award goes to Avro Lancaster, 10 completions 10 SPP.

Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 13 touchdowns
Image Image Seedling Bill Bush (Motherstone Connection) 13 casualties
Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 212 rushing yards
Image Image Damon & Image Carole Landis III (Styx and Warpstones & Skye Babes) 10 passing yards
Image Image Electric Indigo (Pitch Painters) 29 fouls
Image Image Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) 88 blocks
Image Image Damon (Styx and Warpstones) 10 completions
Image Image Seedling Bill Bush (Motherstone Connection) 75/13 block / cas
Image Image Rocky III (Zealots of Change) 10/1 pass / cp
Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 43 SPP

D: A dominant performance from Underworld overall.

D: I think there's something in the fact that there's one gutter runner to do the running, whereas a skaven gutter runner has three teammates to share the limelight with. Similarly one blitzer, one thrower.

D: And only one troll to take the passing yards per completion award.

D: Wait, what?

D: They're also a strong team that's doing well in the current meta.

D: It's worth a little explanation how we're awarding the cas/block award. The award went to Seedling Bill Bush with 13 cas from 75 blocks, which is 5.77 blocks per cas. However, there were other players with better raw ratios, and indeed a full suite of options 31/7, 18/5, 10/4, 8/3, 3/2. The question is, which of those is actually more impressive?

D: Well you said already, 75/13. But why?

D: Right, yes, the real question is why. So, first we took the overall blocks and cas for the three conferences, 5844/383, and used that as the base chance of getting a casualty from a block. Then we ask the question, who is most convincingly better than that?

D: You keep answering questions with questions

D: Do I? Well we answered this question with the question of who, with that base casualty rate, would have to have been the luckiest to get that many casualties. In order words, who best disproved the null hypothesis that it's all random and there's no skills involved. 3/2, while better than anyone in prem, could have lucked their way into it at the base rate with probability 0.012, i.e. 1.2%. This turns out to be similar to 8/3, but 18/5 is more impressive at 0.0050, while 75/13 smashes them at 0.0011

D: Can we do the same for pass / cp?

D: Not exactly, because it's not a sucesses per attempt situation. It's hard to make any kind of argument for what's "more impressive", especially when failed attempts aren't in the mix at all. This one is basically always dominated by one desperate pass, and I don't think that needs to change.

Image Image Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 7 touchdowns
Image Image Wormser III & Image Buttercup (SWL Dorruks & Flower Beard) 5 casualties
Image Image Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 108 rushing yards
Image Image Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 46 passing yards
Image Image Mr. Skolnick 5 (SWL Dorruks) 17 fouls
Image Image Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 53 blocks
Image Image Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 12 completions
Image Image Paul Dillet (Sun's out, Guns out!) 4/2 block / cas
Image Image Chloe the Cruel (Turbo Wolves) 10 pass / cp
Image Image Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 33 SPP

D: Prem's awards are dominated by Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney, winning spp by a margin of 14, with just 1 mvp in the mix.

D: Wouldn't mind seeing her in some sheep's clothing!

D: Wasn't enough to keep the team up however. Goes to show the importance of team play. The winners, in comparison, barely scraped a mention in the awards, with just a dubious award for 2 cas from 4 blocks.

D: Is that really good enough?

D: Well it's p=0.016, compared to p=0.026 for Buttercup's 5 from 32. It is technically harder to do.

D: Well he took as good as he gave, suffering two casualties himself in about as many blocks against him.

D: The second of which killed him, and came from the other dubious, ratio-based award winner Chloe the Cruel.

D: Put's Seedling Bill Bush's 13 cas efforts in conference in perspective when the best anyone can muster in Premier is a tie on 5 for the season.

D: Well that's it for me, I've got lots to do being so famous and all.

D: And by that you mean eating some grass and going to sleep don't you?

D: You know me all too well. For some reason.

Joined: Feb 21, 2007

Post   Posted: Jan 25, 2023 - 13:32 Reply with quote Back to top

A: It's time for the player awards for season XCIV!

B: Why are you telling me that Alice? I know that already.

A: It's about dialogue Bob. That's the format here. I talk, you talk, I talk.

B: But why?

A: I don't know why. But everyone does it. Just run with it for goodness sake.

B: And anyway it's not time, they should have been done a week ago.

A: Yes, well, they're done now anyway. Let's start with who kicked the most mud in the mudkicker division!

Image Image Liverpool Lass (We Come From A Land Up Over) 10 touchdowns
Image Image Twelve of Sixteen ([SWL] Invasion Cube 001) 7 casualties
Image Image Liverpool Lass (We Come From A Land Up Over) 185 rushing yards
Image Image Avro Lancaster (Isilmë Bombers) 14 passing yards
Image Image Decapitated Coffee (Malapropisms Relieved) 18 fouls
Image Image Twelve of Sixteen ([SWL] Invasion Cube 001) 65 blocks
Image Image Avro Lancaster & Image Zorre Sandwave (Isilmë Bombers & Sunnyside Gardens) 7 completions
Image Image Six of Sixteen ([SWL] Invasion Cube 001) 1.67 block / cas
Image Image Oniar Wilrow (Sunnyside Gardens) 6 pass / cp
Image Image Liverpool Lass (We Come From A Land Up Over) 34 SPP

A: Liverpool Lass showing everyone how to get a triple award: Pick up the ball, run it down the other end of the field, and score with it.

B: It's a lesson some players in higher grades could really use.

A: Meanwhile the hitty awards go to the most well justified violation of naming policy imaginable!

B: Yes, if ever you wanted to have a theme without having a theme at all you couldn't do much better than this team.

A: Clearly the lack of theme allowed him to focus on what was important: Getting into a frenzy and making blocks.

B: And completions are shared between two identical looking players.

A: Is it really a pass when it goes an average of 2 yards? I think these guys are only passing because they get a reroll compared to a gfi + handoff.

B: They get a what? This isn't Order of the Stick here we don't live the game mechanics Alice

A: Sorry!

B: Props to Avro for taking it even with another player on the team sharing the role. Though he gets the bronze arrow with a frankly pathetic 14 yards, so I guess that balances out.

A: Let's move on to the technically most tightly contested divison for these awards, with 20 teams, Conference.

Image Image Rebecca Razzia (Albion Itinerants) 8 touchdowns
Image Image Bakari (Ophidian Infidels) 10 casualties
Image Image Howitzero (Weapons of Maths Destruction) 152 rushing yards
Image Image Aovan Cord (Ligna Ludis) 19 passing yards
Image Image Geordie S (New Blacktown Expatriates) 42 fouls
Image Image Parker Ust (Albion Itinerants) 75 blocks
Image Image Aovan Cord (Ligna Ludis) 8 completions
Image Image Nuru (Ophidian Infidels) 3 block / cas
Image Image Cankles (New Blacktown Expatriates) 10 pass / cp
Image Image Rebecca Razzia (Albion Itinerants) 28 SPP

A: Rebecca Razzia again shows that scoring touchdowns is the shortest path to most SPP as well.

B: So, rumour has it we tried to apply some fancy statistics on the block per cas and pass per completion stats. Trying to avoid it going to some lame cas from one block kind of player. What came of that?

A: Well the upshot was, the best two players for block per cas were Morg and Thorg.

B: Sounds like that stats worked then.

A: Sure, but it wasn't really what we wanted. Meanwhile no amount of adjustment was ever going to stop the pass per completion going to a single-completion candidate

B: Maybe we could rename it to "Best Pass"?

A: In the end we decided to just eyeball it. Any complaints please send to the snotling love hotline.

Image Image Giuseppe Garibaldi (Zealots of Change) touchdowns
Image Image Buck Shelford (Amateur Professionals) 8 casualties
Image Image Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 129 rushing yards
Image Image Carrot Ironfoundersson (Zealots of Change) 30 passing yards
Image Image Electric Indigo (Pitch Painters) 31 fouls
Image Image Buck Shelford (Amateur Professionals) 86 blocks
Image Image Carrot Ironfoundersson & Image Ant Strachan (Zealots of Change & Amateur Professionals) 7 completions
Image Image Gilbert 5 (SWL Dorruks) 5.6 block / cas
Image Image Stan Gable 4 (SWL Dorruks) 5 pass / cp
Image Image Natalia Gunther (Blackwater Picaroons) 23 SPP

A: Natalia the upstart linewoman pretending to be a blitzer rides 2 mvps to narrowly beat 4 players on just one less SPP, including a real blitzer from her own team.

B: At least this division it's a player who played in both camps, with a touchdown to complement the casualties.

A: Completions on the other hand is less contested, shared at one per game between the only two players in the whole tournament to even bother passing the ball.

B: At least some slightly more respectable passing yards between them compared to the jokers in conference.

A: An elf takes out most blocks and most cas, approaching double the nearest contender in the blocks department.

B: When an elf wins the golden shield and knuckles you know there's a good chance it's the winning team.

A: Maleficient Lenestar has an impressive 129 rushing yards for just 4 touchdowns (and no completions).

B: Makes me want to make a new award, the Golden Retriever, for running around with the ball without taking it anywhere.

A: A dog of an award that would be.

B: And with that, it's a wrap.

A: Wait, what happened to most turns?

B: You want an award for showing up?

A: Well, there used to be one.

B: Rest assured, all players, or their surviving family, have an individual certificate of participation coming in the mail.

Joined: Sep 25, 2008

Post   Posted: Dec 10, 2022 - 20:22 Reply with quote Back to top


Arnie: Hey Ivan, did you catch that Blood Bowl game yesterday between the Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar and the Albion Itinerants?

Ivan: I sure did, Arnie. What a thrilling game it was!

Arnie: Definitely. The humans took an early lead with a touchdown by Jeremy Calonet; the Nurgle team just ignored him! They fought back hard, though.

Ivan: That's right, Arnie. The young Pestigor Riphammer Maggotspike charged through the human defense like they were made of tissue paper and scored two touchdowns of his own.

Arnie: And let's not forget esteemed guest Lord Borak's impact on the game. He fouled and knocked out several human players, causing chaos and confusion on the field.

Ivan: And he even permanently niggled the Ogre Drin, who had to be carried off the field with a very displeased look on his face. Talk about a real ogre-sized upset!

Arnie: The Nurgle team celebrated their victory with a raucous post-game party at the Go-Go Bar. I heard they had some creepy crawly appetizers and a maggot-covered cake.

Ivan: Meanwhile, the humans went home to lick their wounds and cry themselves to sleep. It was a good game of Blood Bowl.

Black Lagoon 2 - 1 Albion Itinerants

Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 03, 2022 - 07:30 Reply with quote Back to top

T: Season previews, Phillip, remember those?

P: I hear there's a High Elf team in prem again, what are they up against?

Image Season XCIV Premier Division

T: Well, I guess it starts with Orcs in round 1.

Image (1490) [SWL]Dorruks know what league they're in, the SWL. Just as well they wrote it down like that, or they'd have probably forgotten to turn up for prem at all. The shame of this lot, is they didn't hire a Goblin. There's a Goblin's wages going begging in the treasury, there's a troll to throw them with, what's their other one-turn plan? Bushing the Buns up the pitch? Not likely.

P: 5-0 to the Elves, there, can't be otherwise. No grace in an Orc team.

T: That might be a bit ambitious, Phillip, Takeshi has to be a worry, but I don't see them winning without a Goblin.

Image (1490) Minutes or Centuries will come off the game against the Champion Zons with surely a few more skills, but possibly a touch of dented pride. The Amateurs will be hoping they're missing a few Guards and all, taking a short break for the week at least. If they do bring a famous Goblin along, things could get dicey indeed for the High Elves in round 2.

P: The Amateurs have dealt to Bomber every time he's met them, that won't be a problem, and nor will the horrible tall hat men, just too short in the stride to keep up with an elf team, those boys.

T: Could be half an elf team to face them, but, well, Wizards never go astray, or almost never?

Image (1260) Zealots of Change will be looking for a recovery game after the Turbo Wolves tear them up, and round 3 with whatever is left of the High Elfs after a brutal opening might just cut them short of the needed inducements to get one. Either team could turn up here half full of loners, and both teams will bring enough hitting power to worry a lack of bench.

P: Half a team of rats won't worry a full team of Elfs, Terence, not even a challenge! 3-0 at least.

T: Don't forget it's also half a team of Snotlings, and they do horrible things to Elf teams.

P: While losing!

T: True enough.

Image (1330) Pitch Painters get the horrors about facing the Amateurs every time, they may kill one or two each game, and not leave many Elfs for the follow up match, but they've never come close to beating the High Elfs, just paper thin defence. No chance. Still, those old Trolls are going to take their toll, if they've survived the Dorruks leading in, and if they do it early enough, who knows.

P: We know, Terence, same as always, 3-1, if they make their desperate TTM chances.

T: Lets see what the likely depleted Amateurs face, on their homeward run, eh.

Image (1410) [SWL]Mandatory Happiness survived the prem of season 93, and if there's anything left of them after playing footsie with the Minutes or Centuries, well, you know what they say about Dark Elves. Bloody imperialist race-slavers travelling the world looking for easy targets? They won't find one with the Amateurs! Go hunt somewhere else with a few boots to hurry you along!

P: Certainly so, Terence, High Elfs and Dark Elfs play a very different game, on the bloodbowl pitch, and the High Elf one is just better. 3-2 or so, without a doubt.

T: Just a shame there's no chance of Goblins from here.

Image (1400) Blackwater Picaroons will be fresh off tackling the Zealots when they face their greatest challenge of the season in round six. Maleficent will relish the challenge, looking to take her third prem title in a row, a difficult woman to bring down when not surrounded by a highly skilled set of team-mates, let alone as she will be here.

P: Maybe the High Elves will just have to hope someone else has beaten them already. Or, perhaps, they'll be bringing a pair of hard hitting forwards in the form of Buck Shelford and Norm Hewitt.

T: Assuming any of those players survive to round six is this ever-challenging premier division, let alone round seven.

Image (1480) Turbo Wolves will be fresh off monstering the Pitch Painters, and if the Flesh Golems survived that, they'll be annoying for the High Elves to deal with, along with the rest of them. It's their lack of back up ball carriers has held them from the title the last couple times, but they've been in it to the end each go, and this could well be a championship decider against the High Elves to finish.

P: 2-1 to the High Elves, near-perfect season, what could go wrong, prem rings for the survivors.

T: Which team those rings will go to is anyone's guess really, as much as these High Elves can win any game, winning every game has proven difficult.

Image (1440) Amateur Professionals come in off the back of a comfortable conference win with a rookie thrower and a few storied favourites to take on the best the SWL has to offer. No one here is beyond them, and every team will fear this match up. They might just fear one or two themselves, but such is the modern game.

P: What? Where's the superstar thrower? Terence?

T: Listen, I asked the coach, apparently a lot of money went missing in the post-season party scene, and Bruce Deans has not been seen since that night.

P: Oh, no. How could he take the team's cash instead of play for a Prem ring? What is going on!

T: It makes no sense to me, Phillip, but I guess some people are just assholes.



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Oct 23, 2022 - 09:36 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T&P.

T: Dodge wins again, Phillip, tragically the Goblins that should have had it went on holiday and missed out, and then the Halflings went and poisoned the Dwarfs, and well, the Lenestar sisters just too good for the rest.

P: That is scurrilous, Terence, the Halflings sold the Dwarfs their recipes for rat soup and the wee blokes fell over themselves trying to get out to start a resteraunt. Gave up SWL on the spot!

T: Oh, then why the name change, eh, if not avoiding liability suits?

P: The Amazonian player's have changed their position names for entirely cromulent reasons, Terence, nothing to do with the Dwarfs.

T: And what a season they had, with the Dwarfs, what was it, taking up restraunteuring? Likely, I don't think.

P: Just give us the awards show, Terence, get on with it.

T: I, it, right.

The SWL XCIII Team Achievements

T: With a few teams deciding to take up alternate persuits, the records have mostly fallen to squads that everyone desperately wants to play against, various kinds of Goblins, and High Elfs, who are rubbish.

P: What? High Elves are excellent, Terence.

T: One or two long bombs doesn't make a bloodbowl team, Phillip, despite the achievements it earns.

Turns (1152): Motherstone Connection
Completions (7): Motherstone Connection
TDs (14): Motherstone Connection
Cas (20): Kapitol Krushers & Mighty Mortgaged Mob
SPP (77): Kapitol Krushers
Passing yards (15): Motherstone Connection & Giddleberry Lowborns
Rushing yards (229): Motherstone Connection
Blocks (361): Kapitol Krushers
Fouls (36): Lobrot Asylum
Blocks/Cas (11): Mighty Mortgaged Mob
Pass/Cp (3.5): Lone Lada
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Turns (1145): Minutes or Centuries
Completions (14): Amateur Professionals
TDs (16): Amateur Professionals & Styx and Warpstones
Cas (21): Amateur Professionals & Ophidian Infidels
SPP (104): Amateur Professionals
Passing yards (112): Amateur Professionals
Rushing yards (280): Styx and Warpstones
Blocks (348): Minutes or Centuries
Fouls (53): New Blacktown Expatriots
Blocks/Cas (10.78): Styx and Warpstones
Pass/Cp (9.56): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Turns (998): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Completions (7): Mosgiel Moonrakers
TDs (12): Mandatory Happiness
Cas (16): Blackwater Picaroons & Mosgiel Moonrakers
SPP (66): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Passing yards (13): Grimbreakers
Rushing yards (206): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Blocks (263): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Fouls (28): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Blocks/Cas (13.93): Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar

Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

P: Go the flings!

T: But look at the Goblins down below, few rats with 'em, sure, some snotlings underfoot, but we all know what makes those teams great,

P: The Gutter Runners?

T: Well, be that as it may, it's Goblins the crowds cheer for.

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Lemon Sweetpea (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 14 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Auntyshape Grumbleflick (Lobrot Asylum) & Image Geldof da Grinch (Boomtown Ratzz) 14 spp

P: Looks like more Halflings to me, Terence.

T: Don't troll, Phillip, that's Auntyshape's job.

P: To the individual awards!

The SWL XCIII Awards

T: The whole point of the show, the rest of it leads here, gentle viewers, did the team awards come from individual greatness? Let's find out!


Image Image Bootsy 'Twinkletoes' Holly (Motherstone Connection) 12 TDs
Image Image Auntyshape Grumbleflick (Lobrot Asylum) 7 cas
Image Image Urag Rattree (Kapitol Krushers) 112 turns
Image Image Bootsy 'Twinkletoes' Holly (Motherstone Connection) 134 rushing yards
Image Image Dr Warpenstein (Motherstone Connection) 15 pass yards
Image Image Blight Sabre Mania (Motherstone Connection) 25 fouls
Image Image Seedling Bill Bush (Motherstone Connection) 77 blocks
Image Image Dr Warpenstein (Motherstone Connection) 7 cps
Image Image Dalcorat Stoikov (Lone Lada) 5 block/cas
Image Image Anrad Rastolnik (Lone Lada) 4.34 pass/cp

Image Image Bootsy 'Twinkletoes' Holly (Motherstone Connection) 36 SPP

P: Speaking of Gutter Runners, what is it makes them so good?

T: Mostly it's 13 players standing between them and the opposition, to be fair, those individual stats are a team effort in so many ways.

P: Their team-mates are up there too, such a stunning player, that Bootsy. All style.


Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 14 TDs
Image Image Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) & ImageParker Ust (Albion Itinerants) 12 cas
Image Image The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) & ImageTime After Time (Minutes or Centuries) & ImageThe Grandfather (Minutes or Centuries)112 turns
Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 210 rushing yards
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 109 pass yards
Image Image Anigrides (Styx and Warpstones) 39 fouls
Image Image Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) 92 blocks
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 13 cps
Image Image Jude Bellam (Albion Itinerants) 2.34 block/cas
Image Image Lonnie Bhom (Mexican Standoff) 9.56 pass/cp

Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 42 SPP

T: More underworld dominance of the player awards, surely other teams can see the trend here, stars and Goblins!

P: No small number of superstars and legends in that lot, striving for premier, or, in the case of the Styx, ducking it yet again.

T: It's like they fear being shown up by the Amazons, surely not.


Image Image Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 6 TDs
Image Image Thar'th (Bronzed Raiders), Image Ursula Lenestar (Blackwater Picaroons) & Image Hunter Sorensen (Turbo Wolves) 6 cas
Image Image Shadowleaf (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 110 turns
Image Image Búrnhak (Bronzed Raiders) 143 rushing yards
Image Image Brianethe Goatencrush (Grimbreakers) 13 pass yards
Image Image Sweet Gumdrop (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 19 fouls
Image Image Shadowleaf (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 66 blocks
Image Image Tenderthorn (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 6 cps
Image Image Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 4.6 block/cas

Image Image Double Rainbow ([SWL] Mandatory Happiness) 1 int
Image Image Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 28 SPP

P: Maleficent! Munificent! Omnificent! Magnificent!

T: Are those all real words, Phillip?

P: Dishing it out at will, making the plays from nothing, rightly lauded for her efforts.

T: Fair enough. More teams finding their outstanding play-makers rewarded here, but you've got to hand it to the Zons, two in a row, what will become of them with the new rules?

P: Could be anything, Terence, wouldn't surprise to see three in a row, surely, huge amount of fleet and fragile teams coming up, not so many brutal hitters to quiet the ladies, could be well into making a legend here.

T: Making several of them, if they can hang around.

P: Those treemen are looking scary as well.

T: So long as they don't take root right at the kickoff and leave the team stranded at half way.

P: Small problems, Terence.

T: Problems for the small ones, more like.

P: They'll terrorise the Conferences again, along with the other teams dropping back for a refresher course in having enough tackle.

T: This is not a joke about having enough tackle for the whole Amazon team. They're quite happy to share.


Joined: Apr 23, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 18, 2022 - 07:02 Reply with quote Back to top

The Lunar Observer

What is a Moonraker?

The Moonrakers have just finished their very first (and the first of any Halfling team) attempt at the SWL Premiership, and had a great time doing it. They are heading into their 6th season, also making them the longest running Halfling team to compete in SWL proper.

But where did they get their name?

'Us wur cleverer than ‘E-ah, us diddled ‘E alright.
In a pond up ‘Vizes way – smugglers ‘ad ‘idden a keg ‘o brandy & us wur trying to get at un. Us were scrabbling away with gurt ‘ay rakes when us spied ‘zizeman ‘a’watching. So us pointed to moon’s ‘flection in water & told un us wur “raking vor that gurt cheese”. ‘e thought us wur caddled & ‘ad ‘ad too much tiddley. So off ‘e went, laffing fit to bust ‘is britches. That’s why us Halflings be called “Moonrakers”, s’now.'

Halflings have not always been treated as equals by the Humans that surround them. This ancient tale tells of how the Halflings of Mosgiel fought back, in a small way, against the Humans who had attempted to exploit them by charging exorbitant fees for the Halflings favourite liquor.

The Halflings smuggled all sorts of liquor up the Silverstream, and had many a raucous party. The Humans attempted to put a stop to this with firm laws, but the Halflings found ways.

The moral of the story: Never underestimate a Halfling.


Joined: May 18, 2013

Post   Posted: Sep 10, 2022 - 02:44 Reply with quote Back to top

Channel BB Exclusive!

Rumour has it that an official inquiry into Morg 'n Thorg's performance is to be undertaken. There has been speculation from a number of completely anonymous, unknown & secret sources as to accusations of match fixing. Morg 'n Thorg claims performance issues are related to being overworked, suffering jet-lag, match scheduling issues & claims that in his twilight years, packing on the extra muscle has resulted in higher levels of fatigue.
Analysts speculate that after years of living the high life, financing issues drove Morg to reduce his match fees, and his refusal to work through an agent has resulted in a schedule that is untenable. When asked if there were macro-economic factors in play, Morg 'n Thorg ensured that Cablevision would have the opportunity to hire a new reporter for his next match.
An un-official statement from sources rumoured to have once touched the hair of Griff Oberwald Pty. Ltd. Inc. All Rights Reserved claimed "It was obvious that Morg wanted to lose. Just look as what he did to poor Griff. He's just a jealous Ogre. Ensuring he is injured means more business for Morg...".
The Dorruk fans claim Morg couldn't have been on the take, as they were "going as hard as they could at him" citing a unsportsorclike* foul in the dying stages of the match, though given Morg was completely surrounded at the time it is unknown whether he was taking a bruising, or he rolled over for dramatic effect.
When asked if his big-star moneyball team strategy would continue in the future, Coach Semitence refused to comment.
More to come.

*Any sporting Orc fan knows the only good fouls are ones that ensure you get to play rookies next time you play.

Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Aug 22, 2022 - 03:51 Reply with quote Back to top

The Season 92 All Stars. Image

Last of the free ride for the teams, according to player's agents. These outstanding few will demand a little something extra in many cases now, as will their long-time support players.

Image Tenderthorn bagged nine casuaties on the way to pulling the Moonrakers up to the first Halfling prem appearance in SWL history. What a player, fast for a tree, quick to their feet, and relable as you like at the old overarm skull-crusher, in addition to supporting teammates with every ounce of that twenty-ton trunk. If there's space you don't want your opponents near, just put Tenderthorn there.

Image Skokhoug Hornhide is a particularly stout lineman for the Grimbreakers, with a strong positional game, earning nine casualties through the season. Enjoyed his time against some softer teams, passing the survivors around to the rest of the boys for more. You'd love him on any team, and fits beautifully into the All Stars here.

Image Slugwater the Toad played a cunning positional game, guided by his more alert team-mates and coach, biding his time but smashing into whoever got in his way, and block for block was comfortably the best in prem as a result. In addition, those threatening tentacles gave the rest of his team so much space to work in, what's not to want? Horrible plagues?

Image Maleficent Lanestar(c) is our All Star Captain. She took over scoring duties for her squad when team-mate and last season's All Star Aubrey Uranus was lost mid-season, and carried them to premier victory, on top of bagging a few casualties and just generally being the team's primary play-maker. A player can do anything but long pass, she'd be welcome doing it anywhere, including here with the best of the best.

Image Spocker is chief blitz-taker for the New Blacktown Expatriots, pulling the team forward behind his rushing efforts, and chasing down the nearest skilled target for Trimm to have a crack at after. Get near Spocker, you're going down, and you're staying down. That sort of work ethic is well suited to an All Star team.

Image Parker Ust with all the big boys on this team, it does need a spot of speed to challenge those fast dodgy types, and Parker gave it his all this season doing just that, with 70 blocks and the Silver shield, and a fair six casualties from 'em. He can stand up in tight stuff, and still quickly make ground on almost anyone sneaking past, just what any team needs.

Image The Grandfather has some mighty big springs these days, when he gets wound up he will just go, and go, and go. A couple Cas on the way, on top of the Disco Dan Ball, and the Duke Snakefield Medallion. That's always a spot in the All Stars, and The Grandfather will likely be back in prem again have a crack at the title, and other awards. More faster!

Image Grootrel Silverforged is solo carrier for the Grimbreakers, and has carried them all the way to prem next season. Normally not a huge squad around him, but carries some extra armour, and knows how to dodge the lesser hitters, outstanding reliability, just the basics done so well. Look out for him to carry a premier title too.

Image Guiseppe Garibaldi had an absolute field day in the regions, the wee legend more than capable against less experienced teams of running in score after score, getting three touchdowns in each of three seperate games though the season. Just gotta watch that Monstrous Mouth of his doesn't get him trouble, pride before the fall and all that, even when it is well earned.

Image Emilio Ferrano added a comfortable set of gold Thwahns to his silver ones this season, a reliable arm under the pressure cooker conditions of the premier division, comfortably long passing, and picking up few interesting skills along the way, says he'd love to kick in the face of a few of those fast boys chasing him into his deep pocket start spot.

Image Trimm did not quite see out the season, as the Killer Heelz played hunt the goblins, and the mess they left of him was a bit much for the Apo. A fair number of messes he's left of other players over the seasons, particularly laying in the boot all of XCII, can now rest easy. What a little champ, giving it his all to the very last drop, sadly just left on the spikes of a nasty dark elven blitzer.


Prem Stars
The Grandfather - Minutes and Centuries
Kate 'the Claw' Cheney - Turbo Wolves
Phyllis Stein - Mexican Standoff
Wimba Wetsnivel - Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Spocker - New Blacktown Expatriots
Slugwater the Toad - Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Catalufa Cacklespine - Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Emilio Ferrano - Mexican Standoff
Trimm - New Blacktown Expatriots
Iris Payne - Blackwater Picaroons
Maleficent Lenestar - Blackwater Picaroons.

Confs Stars
Grootrel Silverforged - Grimbreakers
Coronado Iko Uwaisland Rattlesnake - Slouching Viper, Midden Dragon
Pomare - GG Luckers
Búrnhak - Bronzed Raiders
Skokhoug Hornhide - Grimbreakers
Tenderthorn - Munchausen Moonrakers
Parker Ust - Albion Itinerants
Bruce Deans - Amateur Professionals
Lerrusk - Bronzed Raiders
Shadowleaf - Munchausen Moonrakers
John Timu - Amateur Professionals

Rising Stars
Guiseppe Garibaldi - Zealots of Change
Finuba Org - Ligna Ludis
Denise Masano - Sun's Out, Guns Out
Morcant Paprika - Animalistic Savages
Boo - Bony Bumpers
Louis Sunberry - A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers
Boyshape Gutwart - Lobrot Asylum
Aovan Cord - Ligna Ludis
Halser Springpot - Scatterbrook Tardigrades
Asteroth - Demise of Chaos!
Scratch - Bony Bumpers


Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Aug 17, 2022 - 11:56 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T & P.

P: A more sensible winner this time, Terence.

T: They all had Dodge, that's close enough to Goblins to me.

P: Bit of a stretch, surely.

T: Word is some rule changes in tackling may well make them stretch to make two in a row.

P: The system at large wouldn't ruin a whole class of teams just because they won SWL would they?

T: Or would they?

The SWL XCII Team Achievements

T: Teams starting to set substantial records for this era, expect those to come on line after next season.

Turns (1228): Not Brown Bread
Completions (13): Skye Babes & Les Maitres de L'univers
TDs (15): Zealots of Change
Cas (26): Flower Beard
SPP (121): Ligna Ludis
Passing yards (50): 50 Shades of Dulux
Rushing yards (243): Sun's Out, Guns Out!
Blocks (362): Demise of Chaos
Fouls (79): Scatterbrook Tardigrades
Blocks/Cas (10.65): Scatterbrook Tardigrades
Pass/Cp (3.67): Clans of Jyhad
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Turns (1151): [SWL] Dorruks
Completions (14): Amateur Professionals
TDs (15): Bronzed Raiders
Cas (35): Grimbreakers
SPP (132): Grimbreakers
Passing yards (122): Amateur Professionals
Rushing yards (263): Bronzed Raiders
Blocks (393): Ophidian Infidels
Fouls (35): GG Luckers
Blocks/Cas (9.26): Grimbreakers
Pass/Cp (8.71): Amateur Professionals
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Turns (1107): Freedom Foulers
Completions (13): Mexican Standoff
TDs (13): Mexican Standoff
Cas (21): Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
SPP (101): Mexican Standoff
Passing yards (106): Mexican Standoff
Rushing yards (221): Turbo Wolves
Blocks (342): Minutes or Centuries
Fouls (68): New Blacktown Expatriots
Blocks/Cas (14.62): Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Pass/Cp (8.15): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

P: Some solid numbers back in the passing game, rumors of its demise perhaps over-stated.

T: The "you must spin on one leg while throwing" rule still confuses most players, but the specialists manage.

P: You'd think there'd be more knee injuries, really.

T: Needs more goblins, natural for them to target the knees.

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Belser Nighthand (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) 21 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Tenderthorn (Munchausen Moonrakers) 18 spp

P: Halfling domination again, there, getting it done, also good at targetting the knees, or the top of the skull.

T: Little devils they are, give stunties a bad name.

The SWL Season XCII Awards

P: Who's got the Twahns, Terence?

T: The players that rightly deserve them, according to our extremely careful snotling accountants, who have the right number of fingers and toes on average.

Image Image Giuseppe Garibaldi (Zealots of Change) 11 TDs
Image Image Softacorn Gentlebeard (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) & ImageSunflower (Flower Beard)
& ImageCaleb Yve (Not Brown Bread) & ImageLouis Sunberry (A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers) 7 Cas
Image Image Asteroth (Demise of Chaos!) & ImageMichel de Montaigne (Redgum's Renaissance)
& ImageThe Savior (Demise of Chaos!) & ImageLouis Sunberry (A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers) 112 turns
Image Image Denise Masino (Sun's out, Guns out!) & ImageMorcant Paprika (Animalistic Savages) 197 rushing yards
Image Image Aovan Cord (Ligna Ludis) 28 pass yards
Image Image Halser Springpot (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) 39 fouls
Image Image Boyshape Gutwart (Lobrot Asylum) 66 blocks
Image Image La Sorcière (Les Maitres de L'univers) 13 cps
Image Image Boo (Bony Bumpers) 3.5 block/cas
Image Image Fairy Tern (50 Shades of Dulux) 5.2 pass/cp
Image Image Latundan (Banana Republicans) 1 int
Image Image Giuseppe Garibaldi (Zealots of Change) 33 SPP

T: Underworld and Dwarfs alike loving the conditions in the Regionals.

P: The Dwarfs will love it a bit more when the two meet up in Conferences.

T: Wait, is that a glove award?

P: Not many intercepts these days, when you're supposed to catch them after the required bicycle kick part.

Image Image Grootrel Silverforged (Grimbreakers) 8 TDs
Image Image Skokhoug Hornhide (Grimbreakers) & ImageTenderthorn (Munchausen Moonrakers) 9 cas
Image Image Shadowleaf (Munchausen Moonrakers) & ImagePomare (GG Luckers)
& ImageWormser III ([SWL] Dorruks) & ImageCoach Harris ([SWL] Dorruks) 113 turns
Image Image Grootrel Silverforged (Grimbreakers) 189 rushing yards
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 121 pass yards
Image Image Lerrusk (Bronzed Raiders) 27 fouls
Image Image Parker Ust (Albion Itinerants) 70 blocks
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 13 cps
Image Image Turmouth Warthane (Grimbreakers) 5.6 block/cas
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 9.31 pass/cp

Image Image Grootrel Silverforged (Grimbreakers) 24 SPP

T: Another dominant Dwarf team, it's just as well they're all starting to ask for more money, as they won't all get it.

P: The core high performers here will though, and they'll offer less inducements to other teams as a result.

T: As long as Griff doesn't take pitty on them. He wouldn't do that would he?

Image Image The Grandfather (Minutes or Centuries) 8 TDs
Image Image Spocker (New Blacktown Expatriates) 8 cas
Image Image Iris Payne (Blackwater Picaroons) 112 turns
Image Image Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 185 rushing yards
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 93 pass yards
Image Image Trimm (New Blacktown Expatriates) 31 fouls
Image Image Spocker (New Blacktown Expatriates) 80 blocks
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 10 cps
Image Image Slugwater the Toad (Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar) 5 block/cas
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 9.3 pass/cp

Image Image The Grandfather (Minutes or Centuries) 28 SPP

P: Well spread around the top teams this time, Terence.

T: Well, the Underworld did party all season instead of playing on.

P: Not that they would've neccisarily done it again, those Amazons were hard to tackle.

T: Back to back is not easy, especially with the pain coming up.

P: Rumours they'll adapt, despite rule changes on the way around tackling ladies, who knows what's ahead.

T: Wall of pain, Phillip, wall of pain.

P: Won't get easier up in Premier division, for sure, solid teams coming up, full of hitting power, speed, skill, and great records, plus some Imperials made it, which is nice for them.

T: If they'd just pay the linemen enough to buy proper boots, but no, everything for the Nobs.


Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Jun 14, 2022 - 14:32 Reply with quote Back to top

The Season 91 All Stars. Image

3nd season of the new SWL, and players are starting to reach their peak, no more than in the teams that specialise.

Image Aten The big TG had a big season, taking a bite out of most teams, and standing strong to bring an honourable result to the old bones in their first prem appearance. He'll be a terror back in the conferences.

Image Takeshi The Big Un's speed and tackling power was key to keeping up with the feast of dodgy teams the Dorruks faced, but his ability to stay on the park and just keep dishing it out is a big part of why he's here. Plus, no one wants that taking a free shot at them on the line.

Image Hydra The champs this season had more turns than any other team, and the biggest part of that was the big troll that discouraged teams from getting too close, and now and then layed on the hurt for those that did.

Image Thanatos(c) The other part of why they had more turns than anyone was our all-star captain giving every other team a whole lot less turns. Game, after game, after game, including four each against the heavily armour orcs and chaos dwarfs, thirteen in total, devastating form. A champion among champions.

Image Felix Bressart With just five games to his name, seven casulties and two scores showed what a powerhouse the Human teams can put up, bettering almost everyone with a full season to their chances. On the edge of something even better, extended training awaits.

Image Hunter Sorenson Great form with five casualties and three scores in premier, kept his team in the hunt right to the end, always a threat, still sharpening those claws, back for more at the top of the league.

Image Atlas Another superlative season for a Styx player, a massive eleven touchdowns in a premier season, almost unheard of, supremely fast, that extra head to watch for tacklers, barely even needs the team around him, but does it in comfort when they are.

Image Aubrey Uranus Dodgier than even the rest of the Amazons, Aubrey scored eight on the way to a conference victory, not at all shy to share it around and help the morale of the team heading into their training for premier. Expect a feast in the big time.

Image Grootrel Silverforged Comfortably walked in a stack of touchdowns behind his devastatingly effective pack of dwarf linemen, and a few star players they could afford from their solid budgeting. Looking to bring the same to conferences.

Image Bruce Deans Had a shocker at times, but the safe passing skills gave the team the confidence to cover his little errors, and he was always up to chucking it long to recover position after. Quick on his feet, he's got his eye in now and could set records from here.

Image Charli It takes a special talent, a proper dirty little git, to stick the boot in fourty one times in a season. The likes of that is rarely seen in the SWL, not that far off the greatest ever. Something to celebrated, up in prem, where he'll make a mess of the best of them.


Prem Stars
Atlas - Styx and Warpstones
Kate 'the Klaw' Cheney - Turbo Wolves
Heinrich Hoeftman - Ostland Horns
Pomare - GG Luckers
Thanatos - Styx and Warpstones
Felix Bressart - Ostland Horns
Aten - Ophidian Infidels
Aegle - Styx and Warpstones
Melaina - Styx and Warpstones
Hydra - Styx and Warpstones
Hunter Sorenson - Turbo Wolves

Confs Stars
Aubrey Uranis - Blackwater Picaroons
Guiseppe Garibaldi - Zealots of Change
Robb - New Blacktown Expatriots
The Grandfather - Minutes or Centuries
Maleficent Lenestar - Blackwater Picaroons
Eisheth Stiletto - Killer Heelz
Takeshi - SWL Dorruks
Bruce Deans - Amateur Professionals
Charli - New Blacktown Expatriots
Pinktint Chestdrool - Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Sick Bubblegum - Call of the Zombie

Rising Stars
Puddles - Boney Bumpers
Grootrel Silverforged - Grimbreakers
Rebecca Razzia - Albion Itinerants
Lavender - Flower Beard
Deeptuber Strongbough - Scatterbrook Tardigrades
Orchid - Flower Beard
Colin Canturbury - Latent Talent
Theodore Jerky Oligorp - Latent Talent
Grarmud Boneshard - Redgum's Ravagers
Softacorn Gentlebeard - Scatterbrook Tardigrades
Gramma - Latent Talent

Potential Stars
Iridrit Baradakas - Ligna Ludis
Move 'ZIG' - All Your Balls
Conglomerate - Born to Rock
Seth Wilbeth - A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers
Ivy Sprywood - Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
Kenzie Gafolern - A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers
Cody Rathiza - A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers
Aovan Cord - Ligna Ludis
Sweat Rag - Sun's out, Guns out
Willow Barkley - Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
Tindi Laurilen - Ligna Ludis

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