Irgy
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
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 Posted:
May 30, 2025 - 08:49 |
 
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Irgy
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
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May 11, 2025 - 09:18 |
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Irgy
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
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May 11, 2025 - 08:33 |
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Irgy
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
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Dec 11, 2024 - 10:19 |
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Irgy
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
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| Posted:
Aug 13, 2024 - 11:21 |
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Irgy: Welcome to the season CI Twanhlows!
Irgy: This is coach Irgy speaking as myself for a change, and joined by my childhood invisible friend Podem.
Podem: You say that like you don't still talk to me...
Irgy: Shush. Moving on to regionals, the bronze knuckledusters looks like it's the heart, in that it's split three ways between including two trees and a troll.
Podem: It's the fact that it's a miserable 7 cas is why so many are sharing it.
Irgy: Yeah. It's the number of cas you get by just turning up for 113 turns and/or making 72 blocks...
  Derilac Dewfoot (SWL - Fitzroy Fryers Club) 10 touchdowns
  The Old Oak (SWL - Fitzroy Fryers Club) &  Auntyshape Grumbleflick (Lobrot Asylum) & Totara (Southern Spoons) 7 casualties
 The Old Oak (SWL - Fitzroy Fryers Club) 113 turns
  Crownie (Beer on Ice) 149 rushing yards
  Cesare Borgia (Romagna Regals) 21 passing yards
  The Second Coming Of Thunderfoot Imposticator (Lobrot Asylum) 22 fouls
  Hope Beyla (Southern Spoons) & Auntyshape Grumbleflick (Lobrot Asylum) 72 blocks
 Cesare Borgia (Romagna Regals) 7 completions
  Inifinite Growth (Capitalism Ho!) 5/17 cas / block
  Penelope Gortin (Southern Spoons) 13/3 pass / cp
 Dís Hiǫrleifrdóttir (Baerson Blood Eagles) 32 SPP
Irgy: Conference is dominated by the "other" necro team, with their 7-0-0 result and 5 Twanhlows, including a nice 30spp zero mvp season from Stella Greenblade. A team to watch next season.
Podem: Necro overpowered?
Irgy: Some controversy on the cas/block award. When I eyeballed it, I thought it would go to my own little one-turner with 3 cas from 5 blocks. Was a bit of a shock since I didn't even notice he'd been making blocks. But I thought I'd better run the stats (especially since it's my own player), and it turns out 12/61 is actually pretty damned good. Compare that to the results in regionals and premier, it was a good performance
Podem: It's kind of dull when it goes to the same player as the knuckledusters.
Irgy: It is, but usually it's deserved even so. In any case if it was passed on it would go to a different player again, who would have won both awards in any other division but was living in Stella's shadow in conference this season.
Podem: Moving on, humans and chaos take the passing awards, where are the elves?
Irgy: There's a distinct shortage of elves in the entire league right now. Rumour has it that elf players have gone soft.
Podem: Gone soft?
  Bryce Gvene (Ahuriri Unearthly) 9 touchdowns
  Stella Greenblade (Ahuriri Unearthly) 12 casualties
  Benny Stout (Dino STOMP) &  Slaalek Swiftclaw (Perfectionists Of Excess) 114 turns
 Bryce Gvene (Ahuriri Unearthly) 176 rushing yards
  Boudicca (Warriors of Reknown) 39 passing yards
  Pamela Puckerupp (Dino STOMP) 28 fouls
  Miramar (GG Luckers) 69 blocks
 Boudicca (Warriors of Reknown) 9 completions
 Stella Greenblade (Ahuriri Unearthly) 12/61 cas / block
  Charlie Caelholdt (Bloodwolf Bandits) 10/1 pass / cp
 Stella Greenblade (Ahuriri Unearthly) 30 SPP
Irgy: In Premier, we could almost forget the champs were even in the comp, until they finally made a showing for a single clutch werewolf pass. It was a game winning pass though at least (I checked), not just some gratuitous turn 16 spp farming nonsense like I was worried it might be.
Podem: What's the story with Morg making an appearance?
Irgy: Yeah so Morg often technically wins this category, and normally I ignore him. But this time it's a combination of two things. Firstly, he came fourth overall for total casualties in just that one game (every game he's in he's counted as a separate player). He's not just one of (or in fact, many of) the noisy 1 or 2 cas from a handful of blocks down the bottom of the list like he usually is, he's the most convincing winner I've seen in this category. Secondly, everyone else's performance was quite piss-poor this season so I don't really feel like anyone deserving is particularly missing out as a result. I'll try not to make a habit of giving this one to Morg though.
Podem: Who would have got it otherwise?
Irgy: Well I checked by deleting Morg's entry, and there was one other row with a respectable result. It was Morg, with 4 cas from 8 blocks, in another game...
Podem: An orc blitzer for rush and touchdowns, a dwarf for passing yards, again, where were the elves?
Irgy: They at least picked up completions.
Podem: A nice balanced effort from Liandrin Lenestar with 4 touchdowns, 7 cas, and no mvps.
Irgy: Turns continues to annoy me as the category most likely to make more work for me with a tie, this time three ways, and including both trees from the Flings team.
  Equilaterail Gun (Weapons of Maths Destruction) 6 touchdowns
  Sandman (Minutes or Centuries) 8 casualties
 Equilaterail Gun (Weapons of Maths Destruction) & Andres Walter & Mateo Hestophes (Half Off Cheapskates) 113 turns
 Equilaterail Gun (Weapons of Maths Destruction) 155 rushing yards
  Charity Stoutheart (Stoutheart Philanthropists) 11 passing yards
  Ushamph Treeseer (SWL Dorruks) 18 fouls
  Liandrin Lenestar (Blackwater Picaroons) 62 blocks
  Madhi Wreapblade (Clar Garond Buzwalis) 5 completions
  Morg 'n' Thorg (Half Off Cheapskates) 5/10 cas / block
 Kate, Return of the Klaw (Turbo Wolves) 10/1 pass / cp
 Liandrin Lenestar (Blackwater Picaroons) 26 SPP
Irgy: And that's a wrap, any feedback please submit in writing to the metal box marked "garbage".
Podem: Want a game of chess?
Irgy: I've told you before, chess doesn't work against myself. You can join my next civ game though... |
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Irgy
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
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Jun 13, 2024 - 14:25 |
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C1: Hi, I'm half of Bicentennial Man.
C2: And I'm the other half.
C1: Making each of us one Centennial Man.
C2: Here to celebrate 100 seasona of SWL.
C1: It's a league that just keeps on going and going, a bit like our movie.
C2: And in honor of carrying on for a long time, the "turning up" award is back. In regionals it goes to a tree. They might not do much but they also sure as heck aren't going anywhere.
C1: I hear they live for even longer than we did.
C2: Only because we chose to become human.
C1: And on the topic of extended lifetimes, a good showing from vampires across three separate teams
C2: Robots want to be mortal humans, humans want to be immortal vampires, I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
C1: If you're a tree you'll never cross that fence though.
C2: Until one day, you become the fence.
C1: Just before we move on a special mention to Caleb Nyota who's the first player in a while to take the bronze (or any colour) arm with more than one actual completion, a consistent effort of throwing the ball in the right direction.
 Mckenna Elsa (Southern Spoons) &  Meassiles (Snotballers) 7 touchdowns
 Cernon Wendell (Brunswick Munchers) 11 casualties
Totara (Southern Spoons) 113 turns
 Legneck Can't-Stop-Won't-Stop-Bouncing (Lobrot Asylum) 156 rushing yards
Penelope Gortin (Southern Spoons) &  Fraderk Aswang (Brunswick Munchers) 28 passing yards
Blitzophrenia (Snotballers) 22 fouls
Kraxak (Phin Lizzies) 76 blocks
Katniss (Anything but Twilight) 11 completions
Cernon Wendell (Brunswick Munchers) 11/62 cas / block
Caleb Nyota (Hostile Kiddies) 17/3 pass / cp
 Upatisya Upeksa (Custodes Centenarius) 30 SPP
C1: Bzaarharr demonstrates to everyone what happens if you leave a bull centaur on the pitch the whole time.
C2: Conference finds itself with the lowest casualties but the most fouls, a rough place to be on the ground.
Bzaa'rharr (Bronzed Raiders) 10 touchdowns
Interesteyr (Weapons of Maths Destruction) 7 casualties
Bzaa'rharr (Bronzed Raiders) & Nathaniel Dokoran (Bloodwolf Bandits) 112 turns
Bzaa'rharr (Bronzed Raiders) 181 rushing yards
 Rarra (UnderRatted) 23 passing yards
Pamela Puckerupp (Dino STOMP) 29 fouls
Dolores Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 65 blocks
Rarra (UnderRatted) 9 completions
Interesteyr (Weapons of Maths Destruction) 7/41 cas / block
Liandrin Lenestar (Blackwater Picaroons) 10/1 pass / cp
Bzaa'rharr (Bronzed Raiders) 30 SPP
C1: The champions really showing everyone how it's done, with both werewolves covering the two key aspects of play, and even their ghoul making a showing on the passing front.
C2: But the real stand out is Cerulean blue, making a statistically impossible 2 casualties from literally 0 blocks. How did this even happen?
C1: It was thanks to a prayer the Nuffle, the casualties were actually from fouls, but they still count. Maybe they shouldn't but no better time to celebrate breaking my spreadsheet.
Kate, Return of the Klaw (Turbo Wolves) 8 touchdowns
Desmond 'The Beast' Wulf (Turbo Wolves) 13 casualties
Desmond 'The Beast' Wulf (Turbo Wolves) &  Pregnant Applause (Malapropisms Relieved) &  Wormser 7 (SWL Dorruks) 111 turns
 Ghoragdush Treebone (SWL Dorruks) 160 rushing yards
Charlotte Rose (Turbo Wolves) 6 passing yards
 Shadow Clown (Malapropisms Relieved) &  Dean Ulich 4 (SWL Dorruks) 20 fouls
Sandman (Minutes or Centuries) 73 blocks
Crypt Rat (Believe in Swarming) 2 completions
 Cerulean blue (Pitch Painters) 2/0 cas / block
Charlotte Rose (Turbo Wolves) 6/1 pass / cp
Desmond 'The Beast' Wulf (Turbo Wolves) 33 SPP
C1: Well that's a wrap. Centennial man and Centennial man signing out. We'll get back together and maybe see you in another 100 seasons when we can fall in love with your grandchildren. |
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Irgy
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
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Mar 19, 2024 - 09:57 |
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Alpha: Hey everybody! It's time to party like it's season 99!
Beta: You know that song was about an upcoming apocalypse not a cool NYE party right?
Alpha: Well let's see how season 100 goes before deciding which one's right!
Beta: Regionals this season we have casualties tied with touchdowns, and fouls tied with passing yards in the numbers.
 Todd Charnel (Crypt-Buried Raiders) 8 touchdowns
Grace Gwathard (Let Slip the Dogs of War) 8 casualties
Todd Charnel (Crypt-Buried Raiders) 159 rushing yards
Rarra (UnderRatted) 34 passing yards
 Shamob Ogresnake (Seppotonian Blorcs) 34 fouls
 Aliyah Celise (Let Slip the Dogs of War) 63 blocks
Rarra (UnderRatted) 5 completions
Dumag Elfstream (Da Smash Mashas) 28/6 block / cas
KlickKlick (UnderRatted) 6/1 pass / cp
Todd Charnel (Crypt-Buried Raiders) 32 SPP
Alpha: Conference lives up to the hype and outdoes regionals on every metric except fouling.
Beta: Yes a below par performance from Gracefield all told, 8 less than last season, but still enough to carry the category.
Alpha: Omega (love the name but damned if I'm shouting it) is the bull with the balls, taking TDs, rushing, and SPP.
Beta: But clearly only the air filled variety, just one casualty from a St4 player.
Alpha: Ulithi Bardar manages to tie on completions with just 2 passing yards all season. Are we sure he knows which way his team is even running?
Beta: Makes you wonder how many of those were even on the play.
Alpha: Silver shield to a tree, a good effort to make a lot of blocks without taking root and getting lonely.
Beta: A small rooted tree that one for sure.
OMEGA (Minutes or Centuries) 12 touchdowns
Desmond 'The Beast' Wulf (Turbo Wolves) 13 casualties
OMEGA (Minutes or Centuries) 215 rushing yards
 Hawker Typhoon (Isilmë Bombers) 46 passing yards
Gracefield (GG Luckers) 29 fouls
Shadowleaf (Munchausen Moonrakers) 80 blocks
 Ulithi Bardar (Loco Turkeys) & Hawker Typhoon (Isilmë Bombers) 8 completions
Ushamph Treeseer (SWL Dorruks) 6/3 block / cas
 Caitlin Wood (Kiwi Mountain Kings) 8/1 pass / cp
OMEGA (Minutes or Centuries) 42 SPP
Alpha: And finally Premier, where nothing was unexpected.
Beta: Yes, the elves take all the passing and touchdown categories.
Alpha: A chaos beastman takes both cas categories.
Beta: And an underworld snotling takes the fouls.
Alpha: The superghoul endlessly runs the ball down the field to no real avail.
Beta: And we're just left with the golden shield, which could go to anyone, but this time went to a hard working jaguar warrior blocker.
 Carlos Spencer (Amateur Professionals) 13 touchdowns
 Brantley Blacksoul (Questionable Ethics) 8 casualties
Ball Bagger (Nana's Undies) 147 rushing yards
Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 83 passing yards
 Many Pinata (Believe in Swarming) 36 fouls
Dolores Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 72 blocks
Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 11 completions
Brantley Blacksoul (Questionable Ethics) 55/8 block / cas
Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 83/11 pass / cp
Carlos Spencer (Amateur Professionals) 45 SPP |
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Irgy
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
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Jan 29, 2024 - 13:37 |
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Season XCVIII Twanhlows, brought to you by Mr Getitdone. Tell me Mr Getitdone, how do you get so many things actually done?
"Well, the trick is, to just get on with it."
Well, let's do that then. Though I do want to make one note about our 8 passing yards from 0 completions record. I looked into it, it was an inaccurate pass, scattered N, SW, E, caught by the intended recipient. Passing yards credited, completion not credited. A bug or a feature? You decide. I figure it's just the sort of noteworthy outlier these awards are for. Also 8/1 would still have won the category in any case.
Magenta (Horror of Horrorz) 11 touchdowns
Stella Greenblade (Ahuriri Unearthly) 11 casualties
 Andrj Carnegie (Stoutheart Philanthropists) 153 rushing yards
Hawker Typhoon (Isilmë Bombers) 36 passing yards
Urim Mummyshield (Seppotonian Blorcs) 27 fouls
 Tunuckal (UnderRatted) & Murag Trollbasher (Seppotonian Blorcs) 66 blocks
Hawker Typhoon (Isilmë Bombers) 13 completions
Stella Greenblade (Ahuriri Unearthly) 11/59 (=5.36) block / cas
Rarra (UnderRatted) 15/3 (=5) pass / cp
Magenta (Horror of Horrorz) 41 SPP
Carlos Spencer (Amateur Professionals) 12 touchdowns
Estoctagonal (Weapons of Maths Destruction) 10 casualties
Mutgusk (Bronzed Raiders) 137 rushing yards
Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 133 passing yards
 Aniyah Miller (Run of the Millers) 22 fouls
 Nezumi Shortfang (Believe in Swarming) 66 blocks
Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 19 completions
 Ulric Palehawk (Killer Heelz) 2/2 (=1) block / cas
Alakas Snaketongue (Perfectionists Of Excess) 8/0 (=∞) pass / cp
Carlos Spencer (Amateur Professionals) 36 SPP
OMEGA (Minutes or Centuries) 6 touchdowns
 The Cleaner (Nana's Undies) 8 casualties
Ball Bagger (Nana's Undies) 136 rushing yards
4-Ecks Gold (Billabong Blue Bloods) 8 passing yards
Gracefield (GG Luckers) 37 fouls
Sandman (Minutes or Centuries) 76 blocks
 Beyonce (Suspicious A-Listers) 3 completions
 Paleo (Minutes or Centuries) 5/26 (=5.2) block / cas
4-Ecks Gold (Billabong Blue Bloods) 8/1 (=8 ) pass / cp
The Cleaner (Nana's Undies) 24 SPP |
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Wozzaa
Joined: Apr 23, 2016
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Nov 05, 2023 - 04:33 |
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[img width="150"]https://fumbbl.com/i/721683[/img]
Moonrakers Get first Win of Season
After a disappointing start to the season, the Moonrakers were able to scrape a 1-0 victory.
Pouring rain meant the ball was as slippery as Old Gurtrudes Jellied Eels, and both teams struggled with ball handling. The rain also seemed to effect the rough stuff, with neither side causing any permanent damage on the other.
The moment of the game was caused by a handling error by the Khorne receiver allowing a swarm of Halflings to surround the ball. This led to a scramble which ended up in the arms of a Halfling in the end zone.
Puggy Baconbreath made an appearance for the Moonrakers for the first time much to the delight of the drenched fling fans.
The expected casualties didn't come for the Halflings, which meant they were able to swarm on the ball like a pack of pot-bellied flies around a turd to close the game out. |
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JPM
Joined: Oct 02, 2015
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Apr 08, 2023 - 04:32 |
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200th Game for Styx and Warpstones
Styx & Warpstones https://fumbbl.com/p/team?team_id=1050146
On the 6th September, 2016 a young rookie team took the field, led by a rat called Volos. 2405 days later, with Volos long retired, the third iteration of the franchise takes the field for the 200th time. Entering in SWL’s Season 66 where Dlock’s Wood Elves held off the Slumbering Skinks, Wäŋa Warriors and SWL Fun Police for Premiership Glory, the Underworld made a modest start finishing 5th in their opening regional campaign. The CRP era was hard, never finishing higher than 6th in Conferences, but undeterred the UW persistent. After the departure of the Southern Warpstone Scavengers coached by Almic85 in Season 69, Styx and Warpstones were the sole flag bearers for 20 seasons until joined by Haru Haru’s Zealots of Change in the BB20 era in Season 89. While the near miss of the Premiership title in Season 85 was a tough one to take at the time, the success in Prem in Season 91 has certainly been the teams crowning glory. I looked at “the Challenge†set by Almic in his Underworld team’s bio the other day, a list of goals that seemed unobtainable back in the CRP days. While the team’s players and composition has changed over the three different editions, and looks so different to the days of CRP, the team has never failed to be one of the most fun and entertaining teams to play week in, week out. Happy 200th Boys!
Highlights of 200 games in SWL:
• First Season – Season 66
• First Underworld Legend in SWL – Volos
• First Underworld Team into SWL Premier Division – Season 77
• First Underworld Conference Title in SWL – Season 84
• First Underworld Premier Title in SWL – Season 91
• Premiership Appearances – Six (qualified for Prem eight times)
• Titles – Premiership – 1; Conferences – 2
• Most SPP Per Position in SWL – Thrower (Hermes - 126), Troll (Cerberus - 71), Gutter Runner (Aeneas - 200), Blitzer (Salamoneus - 291)
• 10 SWL All Star Players
• Most All Star Scrolls: Salamoneus – 8
• Team Legends: Volos, Salamoneus, Aeneas, Cronus, Atlas and Thanatos.
Overall: 28 Seasons, Played: 199 Won: 73 Drew: 49 Lost: 77 (48.99 Win %) |
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Irgy
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
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Apr 05, 2023 - 14:37 |
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D: Hi, this is Dolly the sheep
D: And this is Dolly the sheep
D: But I'm the famous one
D: I'm the original!
D: Exactly, you were just an ordinary sheep until I came along. And you still are really.
D: Well then so are you.
D: No, I may be exactly the same, but I'm special.
D: Yeah you're special alright. Let's just get one with this. It's time for the regional awards.
Rosses (Stolen Golem) 9 touchdowns
Brantley Blacksoul (Questionable Ethics) 6 casualties
Rosses (Stolen Golem) 196 rushing yards
Flinch (Theo packrats) 35 passing yards
Bahiti (Ophidian Infidels) 15 fouls
Tuckerbag Jumbuck (Billabong Blue Bloods) 82 blocks
Avro Lancaster (Isilmë Bombers) 10 completions
Mo Treem (Billabong Blue Bloods) 7/2 block / cas
 Consolidated Liberator (Isilmë Bombers) 10/1 pass / cp
Rosses (Stolen Golem) 31 SPP
D: Only one regional this season, making it something of a soft option like Prem, but without the prestige.
D: Kind of like you then.
D: Rosses from Stolen Golem takes out the bronze cross, mostly via the "touchdowns" strategy, but it must be said wouldn't have been the clear leader without the 2 cas to balance it out.
D: The one trick pony award goes to Avro Lancaster, 10 completions 10 SPP.
Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 13 touchdowns
Seedling Bill Bush (Motherstone Connection) 13 casualties
Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 212 rushing yards
Damon &  Carole Landis III (Styx and Warpstones & Skye Babes) 10 passing yards
 Electric Indigo (Pitch Painters) 29 fouls
Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) 88 blocks
Damon (Styx and Warpstones) 10 completions
Seedling Bill Bush (Motherstone Connection) 75/13 block / cas
 Rocky III (Zealots of Change) 10/1 pass / cp
Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 43 SPP
D: A dominant performance from Underworld overall.
D: I think there's something in the fact that there's one gutter runner to do the running, whereas a skaven gutter runner has three teammates to share the limelight with. Similarly one blitzer, one thrower.
D: And only one troll to take the passing yards per completion award.
D: Wait, what?
D: They're also a strong team that's doing well in the current meta.
D: It's worth a little explanation how we're awarding the cas/block award. The award went to Seedling Bill Bush with 13 cas from 75 blocks, which is 5.77 blocks per cas. However, there were other players with better raw ratios, and indeed a full suite of options 31/7, 18/5, 10/4, 8/3, 3/2. The question is, which of those is actually more impressive?
D: Well you said already, 75/13. But why?
D: Right, yes, the real question is why. So, first we took the overall blocks and cas for the three conferences, 5844/383, and used that as the base chance of getting a casualty from a block. Then we ask the question, who is most convincingly better than that?
D: You keep answering questions with questions
D: Do I? Well we answered this question with the question of who, with that base casualty rate, would have to have been the luckiest to get that many casualties. In order words, who best disproved the null hypothesis that it's all random and there's no skills involved. 3/2, while better than anyone in prem, could have lucked their way into it at the base rate with probability 0.012, i.e. 1.2%. This turns out to be similar to 8/3, but 18/5 is more impressive at 0.0050, while 75/13 smashes them at 0.0011
D: Can we do the same for pass / cp?
D: Not exactly, because it's not a sucesses per attempt situation. It's hard to make any kind of argument for what's "more impressive", especially when failed attempts aren't in the mix at all. This one is basically always dominated by one desperate pass, and I don't think that needs to change.
Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 7 touchdowns
Wormser III &  Buttercup (SWL Dorruks & Flower Beard) 5 casualties
Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 108 rushing yards
Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 46 passing yards
Mr. Skolnick 5 (SWL Dorruks) 17 fouls
Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 53 blocks
Josh Kronfeild (Amateur Professionals) 12 completions
 Paul Dillet (Sun's out, Guns out!) 4/2 block / cas
Chloe the Cruel (Turbo Wolves) 10 pass / cp
Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 33 SPP
D: Prem's awards are dominated by Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney, winning spp by a margin of 14, with just 1 mvp in the mix.
D: Wouldn't mind seeing her in some sheep's clothing!
D: Wasn't enough to keep the team up however. Goes to show the importance of team play. The winners, in comparison, barely scraped a mention in the awards, with just a dubious award for 2 cas from 4 blocks.
D: Is that really good enough?
D: Well it's p=0.016, compared to p=0.026 for Buttercup's 5 from 32. It is technically harder to do.
D: Well he took as good as he gave, suffering two casualties himself in about as many blocks against him.
D: The second of which killed him, and came from the other dubious, ratio-based award winner Chloe the Cruel.
D: Put's Seedling Bill Bush's 13 cas efforts in conference in perspective when the best anyone can muster in Premier is a tie on 5 for the season.
D: Well that's it for me, I've got lots to do being so famous and all.
D: And by that you mean eating some grass and going to sleep don't you?
D: You know me all too well. For some reason. |
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Irgy
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
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Jan 25, 2023 - 13:32 |
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A: It's time for the player awards for season XCIV!
B: Why are you telling me that Alice? I know that already.
A: It's about dialogue Bob. That's the format here. I talk, you talk, I talk.
B: But why?
A: I don't know why. But everyone does it. Just run with it for goodness sake.
B: And anyway it's not time, they should have been done a week ago.
A: Yes, well, they're done now anyway. Let's start with who kicked the most mud in the mudkicker division!
 Liverpool Lass (We Come From A Land Up Over) 10 touchdowns
 Twelve of Sixteen ([SWL] Invasion Cube 001) 7 casualties
Liverpool Lass (We Come From A Land Up Over) 185 rushing yards
Avro Lancaster (Isilmë Bombers) 14 passing yards
Decapitated Coffee (Malapropisms Relieved) 18 fouls
Twelve of Sixteen ([SWL] Invasion Cube 001) 65 blocks
Avro Lancaster & Zorre Sandwave (Isilmë Bombers & Sunnyside Gardens) 7 completions
Six of Sixteen ([SWL] Invasion Cube 001) 1.67 block / cas
Oniar Wilrow (Sunnyside Gardens) 6 pass / cp
Liverpool Lass (We Come From A Land Up Over) 34 SPP
A: Liverpool Lass showing everyone how to get a triple award: Pick up the ball, run it down the other end of the field, and score with it.
B: It's a lesson some players in higher grades could really use.
A: Meanwhile the hitty awards go to the most well justified violation of naming policy imaginable!
B: Yes, if ever you wanted to have a theme without having a theme at all you couldn't do much better than this team.
A: Clearly the lack of theme allowed him to focus on what was important: Getting into a frenzy and making blocks.
B: And completions are shared between two identical looking players.
A: Is it really a pass when it goes an average of 2 yards? I think these guys are only passing because they get a reroll compared to a gfi + handoff.
B: They get a what? This isn't Order of the Stick here we don't live the game mechanics Alice
A: Sorry!
B: Props to Avro for taking it even with another player on the team sharing the role. Though he gets the bronze arrow with a frankly pathetic 14 yards, so I guess that balances out.
A: Let's move on to the technically most tightly contested divison for these awards, with 20 teams, Conference.
Rebecca Razzia (Albion Itinerants) 8 touchdowns
 Bakari (Ophidian Infidels) 10 casualties
Howitzero (Weapons of Maths Destruction) 152 rushing yards
Aovan Cord (Ligna Ludis) 19 passing yards
 Geordie S (New Blacktown Expatriates) 42 fouls
 Parker Ust (Albion Itinerants) 75 blocks
Aovan Cord (Ligna Ludis) 8 completions
Nuru (Ophidian Infidels) 3 block / cas
Cankles (New Blacktown Expatriates) 10 pass / cp
Rebecca Razzia (Albion Itinerants) 28 SPP
A: Rebecca Razzia again shows that scoring touchdowns is the shortest path to most SPP as well.
B: So, rumour has it we tried to apply some fancy statistics on the block per cas and pass per completion stats. Trying to avoid it going to some lame cas from one block kind of player. What came of that?
A: Well the upshot was, the best two players for block per cas were Morg and Thorg.
B: Sounds like that stats worked then.
A: Sure, but it wasn't really what we wanted. Meanwhile no amount of adjustment was ever going to stop the pass per completion going to a single-completion candidate
B: Maybe we could rename it to "Best Pass"?
A: In the end we decided to just eyeball it. Any complaints please send to the snotling love hotline.
Giuseppe Garibaldi (Zealots of Change) touchdowns
 Buck Shelford (Amateur Professionals) 8 casualties
 Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 129 rushing yards
Carrot Ironfoundersson (Zealots of Change) 30 passing yards
Electric Indigo (Pitch Painters) 31 fouls
Buck Shelford (Amateur Professionals) 86 blocks
Carrot Ironfoundersson & Ant Strachan (Zealots of Change & Amateur Professionals) 7 completions
Gilbert 5 (SWL Dorruks) 5.6 block / cas
Stan Gable 4 (SWL Dorruks) 5 pass / cp
 Natalia Gunther (Blackwater Picaroons) 23 SPP
A: Natalia the upstart linewoman pretending to be a blitzer rides 2 mvps to narrowly beat 4 players on just one less SPP, including a real blitzer from her own team.
B: At least this division it's a player who played in both camps, with a touchdown to complement the casualties.
A: Completions on the other hand is less contested, shared at one per game between the only two players in the whole tournament to even bother passing the ball.
B: At least some slightly more respectable passing yards between them compared to the jokers in conference.
A: An elf takes out most blocks and most cas, approaching double the nearest contender in the blocks department.
B: When an elf wins the golden shield and knuckles you know there's a good chance it's the winning team.
A: Maleficient Lenestar has an impressive 129 rushing yards for just 4 touchdowns (and no completions).
B: Makes me want to make a new award, the Golden Retriever, for running around with the ball without taking it anywhere.
A: A dog of an award that would be.
B: And with that, it's a wrap.
A: Wait, what happened to most turns?
B: You want an award for showing up?
A: Well, there used to be one.
B: Rest assured, all players, or their surviving family, have an individual certificate of participation coming in the mail. |
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Balle2000
Joined: Sep 25, 2008
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Dec 10, 2022 - 20:22 |
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Arnie: Hey Ivan, did you catch that Blood Bowl game yesterday between the Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar and the Albion Itinerants?
Ivan: I sure did, Arnie. What a thrilling game it was!
Arnie: Definitely. The humans took an early lead with a touchdown by Jeremy Calonet; the Nurgle team just ignored him! They fought back hard, though.
Ivan: That's right, Arnie. The young Pestigor Riphammer Maggotspike charged through the human defense like they were made of tissue paper and scored two touchdowns of his own.
Arnie: And let's not forget esteemed guest Lord Borak's impact on the game. He fouled and knocked out several human players, causing chaos and confusion on the field.
Ivan: And he even permanently niggled the Ogre Drin, who had to be carried off the field with a very displeased look on his face. Talk about a real ogre-sized upset!
Arnie: The Nurgle team celebrated their victory with a raucous post-game party at the Go-Go Bar. I heard they had some creepy crawly appetizers and a maggot-covered cake.
Ivan: Meanwhile, the humans went home to lick their wounds and cry themselves to sleep. It was a good game of Blood Bowl.
Black Lagoon 2 - 1 Albion Itinerants |
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tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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Nov 03, 2022 - 07:30 |
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T: Season previews, Phillip, remember those?
P: I hear there's a High Elf team in prem again, what are they up against?
 Season XCIV Premier Division
T: Well, I guess it starts with Orcs in round 1.
 (1490) [SWL]Dorruks know what league they're in, the SWL. Just as well they wrote it down like that, or they'd have probably forgotten to turn up for prem at all. The shame of this lot, is they didn't hire a Goblin. There's a Goblin's wages going begging in the treasury, there's a troll to throw them with, what's their other one-turn plan? Bushing the Buns up the pitch? Not likely.
P: 5-0 to the Elves, there, can't be otherwise. No grace in an Orc team.
T: That might be a bit ambitious, Phillip, Takeshi has to be a worry, but I don't see them winning without a Goblin.
 (1490) Minutes or Centuries will come off the game against the Champion Zons with surely a few more skills, but possibly a touch of dented pride. The Amateurs will be hoping they're missing a few Guards and all, taking a short break for the week at least. If they do bring a famous Goblin along, things could get dicey indeed for the High Elves in round 2.
P: The Amateurs have dealt to Bomber every time he's met them, that won't be a problem, and nor will the horrible tall hat men, just too short in the stride to keep up with an elf team, those boys.
T: Could be half an elf team to face them, but, well, Wizards never go astray, or almost never?
 (1260) Zealots of Change will be looking for a recovery game after the Turbo Wolves tear them up, and round 3 with whatever is left of the High Elfs after a brutal opening might just cut them short of the needed inducements to get one. Either team could turn up here half full of loners, and both teams will bring enough hitting power to worry a lack of bench.
P: Half a team of rats won't worry a full team of Elfs, Terence, not even a challenge! 3-0 at least.
T: Don't forget it's also half a team of Snotlings, and they do horrible things to Elf teams.
P: While losing!
T: True enough.
 (1330) Pitch Painters get the horrors about facing the Amateurs every time, they may kill one or two each game, and not leave many Elfs for the follow up match, but they've never come close to beating the High Elfs, just paper thin defence. No chance. Still, those old Trolls are going to take their toll, if they've survived the Dorruks leading in, and if they do it early enough, who knows.
P: We know, Terence, same as always, 3-1, if they make their desperate TTM chances.
T: Lets see what the likely depleted Amateurs face, on their homeward run, eh.
 (1410) [SWL]Mandatory Happiness survived the prem of season 93, and if there's anything left of them after playing footsie with the Minutes or Centuries, well, you know what they say about Dark Elves. Bloody imperialist race-slavers travelling the world looking for easy targets? They won't find one with the Amateurs! Go hunt somewhere else with a few boots to hurry you along!
P: Certainly so, Terence, High Elfs and Dark Elfs play a very different game, on the bloodbowl pitch, and the High Elf one is just better. 3-2 or so, without a doubt.
T: Just a shame there's no chance of Goblins from here.
 (1400) Blackwater Picaroons will be fresh off tackling the Zealots when they face their greatest challenge of the season in round six. Maleficent will relish the challenge, looking to take her third prem title in a row, a difficult woman to bring down when not surrounded by a highly skilled set of team-mates, let alone as she will be here.
P: Maybe the High Elves will just have to hope someone else has beaten them already. Or, perhaps, they'll be bringing a pair of hard hitting forwards in the form of Buck Shelford and Norm Hewitt.
T: Assuming any of those players survive to round six is this ever-challenging premier division, let alone round seven.
 (1480) Turbo Wolves will be fresh off monstering the Pitch Painters, and if the Flesh Golems survived that, they'll be annoying for the High Elves to deal with, along with the rest of them. It's their lack of back up ball carriers has held them from the title the last couple times, but they've been in it to the end each go, and this could well be a championship decider against the High Elves to finish.
P: 2-1 to the High Elves, near-perfect season, what could go wrong, prem rings for the survivors.
T: Which team those rings will go to is anyone's guess really, as much as these High Elves can win any game, winning every game has proven difficult.
 (1440) Amateur Professionals come in off the back of a comfortable conference win with a rookie thrower and a few storied favourites to take on the best the SWL has to offer. No one here is beyond them, and every team will fear this match up. They might just fear one or two themselves, but such is the modern game.
P: What? Where's the superstar thrower? Terence?
T: Listen, I asked the coach, apparently a lot of money went missing in the post-season party scene, and Bruce Deans has not been seen since that night.
P: Oh, no. How could he take the team's cash instead of play for a Prem ring? What is going on!
T: It makes no sense to me, Phillip, but I guess some people are just assholes.
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tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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Oct 23, 2022 - 09:36 |
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The Awards Show!
With T&P.
T: Dodge wins again, Phillip, tragically the Goblins that should have had it went on holiday and missed out, and then the Halflings went and poisoned the Dwarfs, and well, the Lenestar sisters just too good for the rest.
P: That is scurrilous, Terence, the Halflings sold the Dwarfs their recipes for rat soup and the wee blokes fell over themselves trying to get out to start a resteraunt. Gave up SWL on the spot!
T: Oh, then why the name change, eh, if not avoiding liability suits?
P: The Amazonian player's have changed their position names for entirely cromulent reasons, Terence, nothing to do with the Dwarfs.
T: And what a season they had, with the Dwarfs, what was it, taking up restraunteuring? Likely, I don't think.
P: Just give us the awards show, Terence, get on with it.
T: I, it, right.
The SWL XCIII Team Achievements
T: With a few teams deciding to take up alternate persuits, the records have mostly fallen to squads that everyone desperately wants to play against, various kinds of Goblins, and High Elfs, who are rubbish.
P: What? High Elves are excellent, Terence.
T: One or two long bombs doesn't make a bloodbowl team, Phillip, despite the achievements it earns.
Regional:
Turns (1152): Motherstone Connection
Completions (7): Motherstone Connection
TDs (14): Motherstone Connection
Cas (20): Kapitol Krushers & Mighty Mortgaged Mob
SPP (77): Kapitol Krushers
Passing yards (15): Motherstone Connection & Giddleberry Lowborns
Rushing yards (229): Motherstone Connection
Blocks (361): Kapitol Krushers
Fouls (36): Lobrot Asylum
Blocks/Cas (11): Mighty Mortgaged Mob
Pass/Cp (3.5): Lone Lada
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???
Conference:
Turns (1145): Minutes or Centuries
Completions (14): Amateur Professionals
TDs (16): Amateur Professionals & Styx and Warpstones
Cas (21): Amateur Professionals & Ophidian Infidels
SPP (104): Amateur Professionals
Passing yards (112): Amateur Professionals
Rushing yards (280): Styx and Warpstones
Blocks (348): Minutes or Centuries
Fouls (53): New Blacktown Expatriots
Blocks/Cas (10.78): Styx and Warpstones
Pass/Cp (9.56): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???
Premier:
Turns (998): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Completions (7): Mosgiel Moonrakers
TDs (12): Mandatory Happiness
Cas (16): Blackwater Picaroons & Mosgiel Moonrakers
SPP (66): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Passing yards (13): Grimbreakers
Rushing yards (206): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Blocks (263): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Fouls (28): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Blocks/Cas (13.93): Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???
P: Go the flings!
T: But look at the Goblins down below, few rats with 'em, sure, some snotlings underfoot, but we all know what makes those teams great,
P: The Gutter Runners?
T: Well, be that as it may, it's Goblins the crowds cheer for.
 The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Lemon Sweetpea (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 14 spp
 The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Auntyshape Grumbleflick (Lobrot Asylum) & Geldof da Grinch (Boomtown Ratzz) 14 spp
P: Looks like more Halflings to me, Terence.
T: Don't troll, Phillip, that's Auntyshape's job.
P: To the individual awards!
The SWL XCIII Awards
T: The whole point of the show, the rest of it leads here, gentle viewers, did the team awards come from individual greatness? Let's find out!
Regional:
 Bootsy 'Twinkletoes' Holly (Motherstone Connection) 12 TDs
Auntyshape Grumbleflick (Lobrot Asylum) 7 cas
Urag Rattree (Kapitol Krushers) 112 turns
Bootsy 'Twinkletoes' Holly (Motherstone Connection) 134 rushing yards
Dr Warpenstein (Motherstone Connection) 15 pass yards
Blight Sabre Mania (Motherstone Connection) 25 fouls
Seedling Bill Bush (Motherstone Connection) 77 blocks
Dr Warpenstein (Motherstone Connection) 7 cps
 Dalcorat Stoikov (Lone Lada) 5 block/cas
Anrad Rastolnik (Lone Lada) 4.34 pass/cp
Bootsy 'Twinkletoes' Holly (Motherstone Connection) 36 SPP
P: Speaking of Gutter Runners, what is it makes them so good?
T: Mostly it's 13 players standing between them and the opposition, to be fair, those individual stats are a team effort in so many ways.
P: Their team-mates are up there too, such a stunning player, that Bootsy. All style.
Conference:
Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 14 TDs
Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) &  Parker Ust (Albion Itinerants) 12 cas
The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) &  Time After Time (Minutes or Centuries) &  The Grandfather (Minutes or Centuries)112 turns
Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 210 rushing yards
 Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 109 pass yards
Anigrides (Styx and Warpstones) 39 fouls
Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) 92 blocks
Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 13 cps
 Jude Bellam (Albion Itinerants) 2.34 block/cas
Lonnie Bhom (Mexican Standoff) 9.56 pass/cp
Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 42 SPP
T: More underworld dominance of the player awards, surely other teams can see the trend here, stars and Goblins!
P: No small number of superstars and legends in that lot, striving for premier, or, in the case of the Styx, ducking it yet again.
T: It's like they fear being shown up by the Amazons, surely not.
Premier:
 Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 6 TDs
 Thar'th (Bronzed Raiders), Ursula Lenestar (Blackwater Picaroons) &  Hunter Sorensen (Turbo Wolves) 6 cas
Shadowleaf (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 110 turns
 Búrnhak (Bronzed Raiders) 143 rushing yards
Brianethe Goatencrush (Grimbreakers) 13 pass yards
 Sweet Gumdrop (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 19 fouls
Shadowleaf (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 66 blocks
 Tenderthorn (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 6 cps
Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 4.6 block/cas
 Double Rainbow ([SWL] Mandatory Happiness) 1 int
Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 28 SPP
P: Maleficent! Munificent! Omnificent! Magnificent!
T: Are those all real words, Phillip?
P: Dishing it out at will, making the plays from nothing, rightly lauded for her efforts.
T: Fair enough. More teams finding their outstanding play-makers rewarded here, but you've got to hand it to the Zons, two in a row, what will become of them with the new rules?
P: Could be anything, Terence, wouldn't surprise to see three in a row, surely, huge amount of fleet and fragile teams coming up, not so many brutal hitters to quiet the ladies, could be well into making a legend here.
T: Making several of them, if they can hang around.
P: Those treemen are looking scary as well.
T: So long as they don't take root right at the kickoff and leave the team stranded at half way.
P: Small problems, Terence.
T: Problems for the small ones, more like.
P: They'll terrorise the Conferences again, along with the other teams dropping back for a refresher course in having enough tackle.
T: This is not a joke about having enough tackle for the whole Amazon team. They're quite happy to share. |
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