Posted by eldritchfox on 2012-06-04 09:55:15

http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/

Posted by MagicDave on 2012-06-04 09:56:43

Piggy if you just google it you will find a a lot of good sites, if not I'll just send you the speech I did for rodders wedding, just change the names. ;)

Posted by Purplegoo on 2012-06-04 09:59:58

Do a Powerpoint presentation! :)

Posted by vaclav on 2012-06-04 10:04:45

Try a Bilbo farewell speach with little modifications( the confusing part is most important)

Posted by Meltyman on 2012-06-04 10:06:47

work ethic jokes are my favourites... my brother's best man punched the best one: "everyone at work has been saying (my brother) is a GOD in his job... if he does something, it's a miracle!"

Posted by PeteW on 2012-06-04 10:24:18

goo is correct. Get his parents to send you loads of embarrassing photos from when he was a baby and powerpoint them. Job done.

Don't forget to toast the bridesmaids.

Posted by lizvis on 2012-06-04 10:37:56

almost as important as composing the speech is practicing it out loud. i was best man at a wedding once, but for some reason i had too much confidence in my memory (which is really odd as i smoked a TON of pot at the time), and i didn't practice the speech very much. i skipped a line by mistake and while it wasn't a total disaster, the people who were paying attention were kind of a little puzzled at the end of my speech. don't worry too much, as the only people who pay any attention to your speech are women and men over the age of 60 (hint hint, THIS is your target audience). to further my point, other than your own wedding, can you remember one best man speech that you've heard? anyway, if my point isn't abundantly clear by now, i reiterate, PRACTICE THE DAMN SPEECH............ to the point of tears if you have to. :)

Posted by pythrr on 2012-06-04 10:50:19

"has no friends or anyone who can be bribed to be his best man "

-- um, lost cause, maybe?

Posted by pythrr on 2012-06-04 10:53:03

you could just stand up and start the speech in latin....

I did that at my brother's. confused the hell out of them, but made them think i was saying something really profound for the first minute or so til I switched back into English.

Posted by lizvis on 2012-06-04 11:01:52

oh.........i almost forgot........its 'speech' you retard

Posted by pythrr on 2012-06-04 11:45:22

yeah. piggy - you are doomed. get drunk and insult the bride's mother. i think that this is customary.

Posted by PigStar-69 on 2012-06-04 11:50:46

cool thnx gents for teh awesome advice ! and thnx to you to lisviz i will practice !

@ dave yeah link that speech of rodders wedding i will tweak it and see what i come up with!

I do have a few things i can allready put in and now i have a few more ideas thnx to you gents ;-)

Posted by darkwing2k6 on 2012-06-04 12:23:53

at my wedding my best man finished with " so lets all raise a glass to the two most important people here today..... the BAR STAFF!". it got a pretty good laugh from most folks.

Posted by WindexChugger on 2012-06-04 13:32:29

Interestingly enough, I did my first ever best man speech yesterday! I was in a similar, although not exact, position as you are. I had never met the bride, and the groom was my cousin who has lived 1000 miles away for my whole life.
Here was my speech setup, which lasted just over 1 minute:

Opening joke
Why she's perfect for him
Why he's perfect for her (with both of these I asked other people who new them for a lot of help!)
Closing joke
Toast

Tips: flatter the bride, make fun of the groom.

Posted by hale on 2012-06-04 20:04:28

I was once asked to be a best man for one of my oldest friends. I decided to easiest way to deal with the situation was to graciously accept but then to not answer my door or any phone calls until after the wedding... it worked out very well.

Posted by Jeffro on 2012-06-04 20:44:55

Damn if lizvis isn't spot on with this one (though I doubt his being an actual friend with anyone... ;)

Practice. Here's a good way to practice. Write down general subjects, not unlike a table of contents for a paper. Subject A about him, Subject B about him meeting her, Subject C tiny disparaging remark about him (not embarrassing to Mom, though), Subject D... toast.

Talk about those subjects in your brain and out loud and figure out some transitions. Make it flow, and YES - don't worry about forgetting something or making something different when you're doing it each time.

As a side note, and you're welcome to steal this if you want: For one buddy of mine who I gushed about being a fabulous friend and soon to be a fabulous husband, I toasted the couple at the end by saying something like "So let's raise our glasses to Abby (his bride) and the REAL Best Man in the room tonight"...

I got him to cry :) Granted he was a little drunk and a little high... but still. Got the grown man to cry :D

Posted by astrosimian on 2012-06-05 10:18:43

The best piece of advice I can offer is make sure you pronounce the names right. Write them down phonetically if that helps.
Mildly embarrassing stories are OK, but don't go tell about the time you walked in on him and your sister with her vibrator in his ass.

And Pythrr, don't ever insult the mother-in-law.
Reach over, grab her chest and go "Honk. Honk."

Posted by Gritter on 2012-06-05 14:17:19

Speaking from experience- it was not fun staying half sobre that far in to the day- but the fun bit was using many of the embarrasing stories i had about my mate... and just removing enough fine detail to leave him not looking too bad in front of a few hundred people- but also keep him sweating....


If you go powerpoint- only use it for pictures- nobody wants to look at a wall of words or bullets points!
Oh and keep it all fairly short and fun- and don't get the brides name wrong....